The Little Sleeping Slices
by ghostdrunk
Summary: The Joker crosses paths with a butcher that slices for an occupation, not for sport. After meeting, he decides to pursue her in the only way he knows how. Too bad Commissioners and Vigilantes don't know how to mind their own business. JokerOC BatmanOC
1. Happenstance

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to "The Dark Knight."

**Chapter One: Happenstance **

I love college. Well, I like the remoteness and anonymity of it. I like how impersonal and crude the campus can be on any given morning. I like walking down the towering gothic halls without anyone knowing my name. Don't get me wrong, absolute isolation is not what I crave. I'm just not what you would call a sociable person. I am, by classification an introvert. It's ironic really, because my mother always gabs at how I am "such a people person." That's probably because I never see her. She moved to the Hampton's with her new husband years ago. The only time I see her is at social events my extended family likes to call "get togethers." She doesn't really know me. I just know how to fake the persona very, very well. I prefer my life experiences, all twenty three years of them to be private. Only a select few of my choosing need to know about all its happenings. It's not that I have a phobia of groups or anything. I simply prefer more intimate interactions.

But being an intensely private person does hinder things a bit for my career path. I just finished my bachelors in cultural anthropology, with a minor in psychology. Cultural anthropology requires quite a bit of interaction. That of course does depend on where one decides to do their ethnographic research. Ideally I'd like to start off somewhere alien, remote, and isolated. But the truth of the matter is that my lust for adventure far outweighs my distaste for group interaction. I crave learning. I yearn to observe all things foreign.

It was my first day back on campus from Christmas break and my first official day as a grad student. I must say, it feels pretty great. It's early and so far, I haven't seen a single person on campus. I can feel cold cutting through the thick air. This is most likely the last day I can get away with a light jacket.

My advisor/mentor Kingsley Grant has been kind enough to take me under his wing. There aren't many impeccable examples of the "academic" persona that I'd like to adopt as my own. But Kingsley Grant comes pretty close to it. Professor Grant's office is at the very end of the hallway in the Anthropology building. Actually, it's not an office at all. It's an old classroom. But you'd never know by looking at it. The floor is covered with various Burmese rugs he's collected over the years. They're mismatched and dingy, yet somehow still entirely beautiful. The room is divided in half by a huge purple and gold curtain. Behind the curtain is a military issued cot and a 20 inch flat screen attached to the wall with several bungee cords. The other side (visible to those entering) is an old black desk covered in papers, a laptop, and various HBO DVD sets.

I'm also Dr. Grant's assistant. I carry out all the little odds and ends that he needs done. It's good learning experience and it helps pay the bills.

His office was surprisingly empty. I found this quite strange. Dr. Grant likes his quiet. He usually shows up to school a few hours early to drink his coffee and watch "The Wire." His coffee cup was in fact on the desk. But it was no longer warm. And it could very well be from a few days previous…or the last semester for that matter.

I sat and watched as thirty minutes passed on his clock. Dr. Grant had never been late before. I was going to call him. But upon searching my purse I realized I'd left my phone back at my apartment. Cell phones are quite a bother, but kind of a necessity nowadays.

There was no point staying if I was the only student and absent my instructor. I gathered myself up when I noticed a notepad on the desk.

He'd written out a list of books. None of which seemed to connect with one another. I took the list and slipped it in my pocket. I figured I'd run by the library and pick them up; maybe he'd arrive by the time I got back.

…

This is where it started getting odd. As I walked out to the mall area, I was greeted with nothing but silence. My eyes stretched as far as the commons on the west side of campus and could not see a soul. I could have sworn that it was Monday. I shook my head wearily and continued onto the library. It is without question my favorite part of the University. It had been recently renovated and refurbished by one of Gotham's extremely wealthy families. You can wander around its various floors for hours. There are thousands upon thousands of books, old and new. The carpet doesn't make for a very comfortable seat while you sit up in the stacks…but it beats no carpet at all.

The lights were all turned off. The emergency exit and emergency floor lights were all that illuminated the large building as I peered in. The main doors were the heavy, industrial kind that couldn't be kicked down by any human foot. Out of curiosity, I pushed down the lever and the door opened effortlessly. A part of me knew this was wrong, it was likely closed. Nevertheless the opportunity presented itself. I slowly walked in.

I could hear the familiar buzzing of the electronic equipment, so the power was on. There was a janitorial cart right at the entrance. It looked as if someone left in a hurry. The lights didn't come on but the floor lights illuminated things just enough. (I also know the library like the back of my hand.) To be safe, I grabbed a flashlight from the Janitor's cart and put it in my back pocket. The library becomes one's best friend whilst studying. My apartment is way across town and that's a long commute to and fro.

My random thoughts suddenly made me keenly aware that I wasn't nearly freaked out enough about this ghost town-state of the University. I seemed to be the only one there. That meant one of two things; One, I was dreaming. That was a perfectly logical explanation until I pinched myself. Two, the school was closed, or evacuated. Being the irresponsible slacker I was, I forgot my phone to check for text alerts…that and I didn't watch or read the news this morning. If I had, I would have known school was cancelled.

I waited for the panic to set in, I waited for my fight or flight response…but none came. In its place, I felt a sort of freedom as I looked around. I had free roam of the library. I had it all to myself. I grabbed one of those "green" eco sacks on the counter that the library provided. Then I went shopping.

Dr. Grant had a pretty impressive list of novels. Though, I would expect nothing less. He was a great reader. I think I gush over him a little too much. He's like the eccentric Grandfather I never had. But unlike him, I could never be a professor. I can't imagine playing nice with the other teachers and going to parties and fundraisers…yuck. I can barely stand attending them as his assistant.

…

Twenty minutes and about twenty pounds of books later, I'd finished the list. I sat the list down on the checkout desk and put Dr. Grant's name on it. I was about to leave when I realized I didn't get myself anything. I had a flashback of spilling green tea on my brand new copy of Pygmy by Chuck Palahniuk. I don't think the library would miss one more little book for a few days...I really wanted to finish it.

I climbed the stairs to the third floor, which was reserved for contemporary fiction. My fingers slid along the books that were categorized alphabetically. L, M, N, O, finally I reached Palahniuk. I was about to walk down the stairs when I heard a horrible sound of shattering glass on the second floor right below me.

My brain's logical reaction was to slowly back into the shadows. But I jerked myself back instead. After a few seconds of silence, I crept slowly to the ledge to peer over. Two men climbed through one of the second story windows. One of them had cut a gash into his arm pretty deep and was complaining about it. The other told him to forget about it and hurry up so they could get out of there. I leaned back on one of the bookshelves in relief. Whoever they were, they were leaving. But wouldn't you know it; curiosity got the better of me. I peered over again to watch them scurry down the stairs and out the main doors which they threw open. I was mainly distracted by their masks. They looked like vintage clowns. Those must have been the Joker's men. As far as I knew, the Joker was locked up in a padded cell in Arkham. It wasn't like they were going to let him out anytime soon, he must have escaped…that or his men were doing something for him. It took me longer than it should have, but I finally put two and two together.

The school was closed, evacuated in fact. Most likely because of a threat of some sort, I was in genuine shock. But more importantly I was in the middle of it. To think they had actually targeted the University, and I just witnessed…something. I actually wasn't sure what I'd just witnessed. Was one of them the real Joker? If I recalled correctly however, it were only the henchmen that wore masks. The Joker infamously plastered his face on television a few months back and he was just a guy who wore makeup and had scars on both his cheeks, displaying a permanent smile on his face. I quickly shook out of my train of thought. If there were henchmen breaking into the library, they were planning to do something in or around it. My heart quickly sunk as I looked around. It would be such an atrocity to burn down this library. There's a special place in hell for people who burn literature…well, if it were up to me... which it clearly isn't.

That's when I decided to take a risk. If they were going to blow up the library, I needed to grab a few more books first. I rushed down to the second floor, which was classics and stocked up on the necessities. The library had a slew of first editions. Tolstoy, Proust, Dostoevsky, and Melville…to name a few of the many books I shoved into ever bulging book bag.

I wasn't near satisfied, but the clock may or may not have been literally ticking. As much as I loved the library, I did not want to get incinerated with it.

I hurried down the stairs and made my way for the main doors. I wasn't far from them when I heard someone clear their throat, as if they were about to speak. My nerves stood on edge but I kept walking. That is until I heard…

"Hey there pretty girl…"

For some reason, some kind of survival defensive skills took over all logic and I whipped around. I took the back of my hand and threw it square on the left temple of my possible assailant's head. Whoever it was fell to the ground quicker than you could say "Call me Ishmael."

Books flew out in all different directions in the process. I couldn't believe it. I dropped the bag to the ground in shock. It seems I stood frozen for ten minutes, but it probably was just seconds. Soon after, I walked a little closer to the stiff figure lying motionless on the ground. I peered down and turned on my newly-borrowed flashlight to his face.

I couldn't believe my eyes. The man was dressed in a deep but faded purple suit. He had a green vest and smeared makeup all about his face. His eyes were swimming in black cream shadow and two scars distorted his face into a permanent smile. This was enhanced with red lipstick.

"Oh shit." I murmured a little too loudly. I'd unintentionally knocked out the ill-famed Joker.

After several seconds of shock passed, I realized I needed to figure out what I was going to do. The obvious choice would be to run away…but there was always the chance he'd come after me. That and his men were running about the place, God knows how many… I knelt down next to him and stared. I took my index and middle finger and placed it on his neck under his chin. It confirmed what it already looked like, he had a pulse. I looked around in all directions. It seemed as if all his men had scurried off somewhere. But that was only for now. They could be back any minute.

I rushed to the janitor's cart. Hoping, searching for something to subdue him with. As it turned out, it was my lucky day. There was a small rope inexplicably tucked in one of the side pockets of the cart. I quickly threw it over my shoulder and ran back to the Joker, who still lay unconscious on the ground. I figured if I stayed on the first floor, I'd be more susceptible to his men if they came rushing in. I laced my arms under his and dragged him to the elevator. When we reached the fourth floor, I lugged him out and lead him to the opposite corner. I leaned him against the metal railing and began to tie his hands. As soon as his right arm was lifted, it was revealed he was carrying several knives and gadgets in his coat. Yikes…I swiftly put his arm down and peeled off his jacket as fast as I could. After that, I tied his right arm above his head. Upon checking his vest and pulling out three more knives, I tied his left.

It suddenly dawned on me how ridiculous this was. I wasn't quite sure what I was trying to achieve. But this would at least buy me some time to get away? I leaned back and stared at him in fascination. He had quite a nice physique. His arms were very toned and muscular. His jaw was strong and his eyes were set in perfect symmetry. I couldn't tell what his natural hair color was, though I suspected it was brown…but the green dye covered up his secret. I took a knife for myself and speedily slipped it in my pocket. (One can never be too careful) I then looked down at his pants. He seemed to be hiding knives and weapons _everywhere _else, so it seemed likely he'd have something in pockets. I carefully reached in to search.

"Mmm, that feels nice, but this is way too kinky for a first date." He murmured. I quickly retracted my hand and placed it in my lap. I waited anxiously for him to open his eyes.

When he did, he blinked several times. His tongue fluttered about in some strange attempt to make himself more alert. He shook his head like a dog does to shake off the water and quietly chuckled.

I watched in fascination with my legs crossed, like a student sitting on the floor eagerly awaiting story time…I had no idea what I was going to do. But here I was, sitting directly across from the closest I've ever been to a celebrity.

After a few moments, the Joker looked me directly in the eyes. They studied me carefully. I found it interesting he didn't look around to examine his surroundings, he only stared towards me…but he didn't give me much time to question this further.

"Got any aspirin?" He asked casually. "I have this terrible throbbing in my pre-frontal lobes."

"Sorry," I started. "I'll bet that janitor's cart does, but I'm not keen on leaving your sight as of now."

"Got to wait till the cops arrive, guess it's best to stay vigilant…"

"I haven't called the cops." I blurted, without thinking. I probably should've told him I did.

"Reaaaallly? And, why is that?"

I had already gone this far, might as well be honest. "It hadn't crossed my mind, I guess. I haven't really planned this out."

"You had the foresight to tie me up on, what is this, the third floor?"

"The fourth. And yeah, I don't really know why I did that. I'm sorry."

"Sorry enough perhaps to let loose my little arms?"

I pursed my lips. "I don't think so, it's just a self-preservation thing, you understand?"

He swallowed as he took a deep breath through his nose. "So, we're just going to sit her and talk about the temperature in Guatemala? You're cute, but I've got places to be Lucy Librarian. Perhaps we could walk and talk?"

My eyes lit up. "Nine Inch Nails!" I spoke excitedly. I am a music fan through and through. When someone references one of my favorite songs, I can't help but to comment on it. That's when I directly realized how entirely strange this conversation was. I looked back at him to study his reaction.

He may or may not have grinned for a brief second.

"I…apologize for hitting you across the head. You took me by complete surprise. It was wholly an involuntary reaction."

"Aww, what a charming profession of guilt…but that doesn't explain why you tied me up and dragged me to the fourth floor."

"It follows a semi-logical path. My initial thought was to run away,"

"Uh-huh…" he squinted his eyes and pushed his tongue on the side of his cheek.

"But then I figured if you woke up, you might have some…problem with me hitting you. You might have come after me…and you already _were_ coming after me, for that matter."

"You don't know that." He scolded. "I might have just wanted to know where the registrar's office was. You just didn't give a guy a chance."

"Like I said, natural reaction…and I only tied you up to reason with you. Because I don't know you, and I have trust concerns when it comes to people I don't know on a personal level."

"Oh dear, that would present a problem." He voiced softly. He seemed utterly uninterested in my clamoring.

"I don't discriminate with self-defense."

"I see."

"Feel free when I leave to carry out whatever it is you're doing here." I assured him.

"You don't care if I blow your school up? This is your school? You're not just some homeless looter-girl stealing books?"

I looked at him strangely, lowering my brow.

"I saw you,"

"You were watching me?"

"I had a few minutes to spare…" He casually commented. "You were bagging the classics like they were M&M's from a candy dispenser. What were you doing that for?"

This brought me back to one of my fundamental issues with him being here.

"Please don't blow up the library!" I blurted.

"So the truth comes out. You're trying to be a hero. You don't want anything to go boom…"

I quickly shook my head. "I just don't want you to blow up the library. I like it here. Can't you just blow up the Math department?"

The Joker began to laugh uncontrollably. Though I suspect he was more amused than tickled with humor.

"Who _are _you?" He laughed again.

"I think it'd be better to stay anonymous, don't you?"

"Now, that's not fair. You know exactly who I am."

"Not really, you're the Joker…but, I mean I don't know who you are really."

"This is who I am. What you see is what you get."

"Somehow I feel that isn't true."

"My my, we're deep. I thought this much with your love for the written word…but I still would like a name."

"I hear you, but I'd just rather not disclose that information."

"Let's have a mini review. You hit me on the noggin, tie me up, apologize…then ask me not to blow up the library? But you won't tell me one little name?"

"That's about right. And let's clarify that I apologized for hitting you on the head. And I only tied you up to reason with you. I don't really feel like dying."

"Well uh…as stories go I'm not a very reasonable man."

About that time, two of his men busted through the doors. I nervously clamped my hand over his mouth. The thugs ran around in confusion.

"I told you he wasn't in here."

"If we do this without him, he'll…"

"Look, let's just go through with it. He'll be upset if we don't."

The other henchman ignored this. "Boss…Boss?" He called out.

-"Please don't take this the wrong way." I whispered to him. "This just doesn't look good on my part."

A smile spread on his face under my hand.

A few seconds later, the men ran out of the doors. I lowered my hand from his mouth and let out a deep sigh of relief.

"Your hand smells like coconut."

"Alright..." I lowered my brow perplexedly.

"Why is it you're more afraid of my lackeys than me? I must say that hurts the pride a bit."

"I think it has something to do with you being tied up. That and if they found us up here, you could command them, like attack dogs." I let out a sigh, I couldn't stay here forever. I had to make a decision as to what I was going to do.

He could sense my apprehension. He tilted his hand in false concern. "Goosey goosey gander where shall I wander, upstairs, downstairs and in my lady's chamber. There I met an old man who wouldn't say his prayers; I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs."

"Okay I get it, I'm boring you. But I'm new at this incapacitating a criminal thing, or incapacitating anyone for that matter. I do wish you'd cut me some slack."

"All right Lucy, let's make a deal. You untie me, and I won't kill you in a gruesome, atrocious kind of way. In fact, I won't kill you at all."

"That's a nice offer." I shook my head, but began to look around. "Do you really have to blow up the library?"

"I don't know what surprises me more; your complete lack of fear for your life, or the fact you're considering letting me go…."

"Just because you're a criminal doesn't mean you're not open to hearing someone out."

"Your demeanor," He paused. "…Tickles me in a curious way."

"There are plenty of other buildings at the school."

"Oh would you really miss it? Is it that big of deal? I have it rigged to set here. Changing it would be a lot of work."

"I see your point, I just feel like you could improvise. And I'm sure your henchmen would do most of the work, right?" I couldn't believe I was doing this. There was no reason except I'd spent so much time here…and it was a library. "I'm just sentimental I suppose…but it is a shame to ruin such a rich and abundant source of knowledge. What if I untied you and promised not to call the police?"

"I have a peculiar inkling you would have already called them if you really were going to strange girlie."

"You have no way of…being sure?" I spoke quite unconvincingly.

"This would be so much better if I were untied…then I'd know for sure." He spoke through grinded teeth as he shifted.

"Are you talking about torture? Because I feel like I've been completely honest with you. Torture would be kind of pointless if you ask me. Look Mr.….Joker. I guess you can do what you want. I have no right to ask you to change your plans, I guess just…don't kill me and/or hurt or torture me…and I'll untie you."

"Since you've been kind enough to elucidate this all to me, I guess I'll have to agree to your little proposal." He nodded slowly.

He looked at me as if he were sincere. But there was no way of being sure. But I was also pretty certain I didn't want to piss him off. And if I killed him, (Criminal or not) I would go to jail for murder…well, that or get killed by his men.

I took one of his knives from the floor and cut through the rope on his right hand.

"Fantastic." He grinned as he flexed his wrist.

I took the knife and cut his other hand free. All the while realizing how stupid I was. This was the most ridiculous thing I could have ever done. He was feared and hated by thousands. If I ended his life right then, I would be a hero. They would build a new library in my name, throw a parade, and give me the key to the city. What had I just done?

The Joker rubbed his wrists together and rolled his sleeves up evenly. He promptly grabbed my wrist and peered at my watch. "No, this can't be the right time."

I looked down to my green watch. "It's broke; I just can't break the habit of wearing it."

"Why don't you get yourself a new one?"

I shrugged. A little bewildered. "It's kind of a part of me. I don't want a new one. And it was only three dollars. I feel it's not worth paying to get it fixed."

With that, he slowly let go of my wrist. I retracted it carefully.

"It's a particularly odd color of green…can I have it?"

I furrowed my brow. I didn't know why I was so offended, but I was.

"You did hit me over the head and tie me up." He crossed his arms.

I let out a long sigh as I took it off. I really didn't want to give it to him, but considering who I was talking to…

He quickly took the watch and attached it to his wrist. "It's a little snug, but it goes nice with my ensemble."

Without warning, he pulled my face into his. His tongue graciously inserted itself into my mouth as he kissed me. It was entirely raw and unapologetic. He made an exaggerated smacking noise as he released the kiss. He continued to hold my face as he stared at me strangely.

"Interesting." He murmured as he continued his penetrating stare.

"What was that for?" I swallowed and continued to match his gaze.

"Something to remember my little librarian by."

"You already have my watch." I remarked slyly as I retracted from his grasp. His hands slowly slid out from under my hair. The truth was, the kiss wasn't entirely unpleasant... Just surprising and unsolicited. Well, that and he was an infamous psychopathic murderer…what was I thinking?

"Nuh ha ha ha!" he slapped his knee as he stood up. "Come one, let's go." He gathered up his jacket and various knives and weapons and grabbed my hand. He dragged me up as he rushed us down the stairs.

"Where are we going?"

"Now, I told you I wouldn't kill you. What good would that do if you were walking around this campus and one of my men did?"

"That would be unfortunate."

"Exactly, so I'm afraid you're going to have to tag along with me for a bit." He informed me as he loosened the grip on my arm a little as we reached the first floor.

"Wait the books!" I called out as I saw them still lying in disarray.

"Uh ta tat ta…We really should get going, especially since we don't have the right time." He reformed his grip on my arm and added another to my waist.

I took one last glance at the library I'd spent so much time in. I sighed longingly as I was dragged out the door.

"How did _you_ get in the library anyway?" He asked, seeming to of gained an abundance of energy after being untied.

"It was unlocked."

"You have me to thank for that." He laughed. "So here's what's going to happen ah, what's your real name Lucy?"

"I'd rather not."

"Oh come on, I'm going to find out anyway."

I sighed at the fact. That comment was disturbing. "Jane." I voiced reluctantly.

"Jane…Jaaaannnnee." He tried it out on his tongue. "Janie Jones…"

"Hardly."

"I'm sure. But Janie is more romanticized than Jane." He commented as we sprinted down the hall. "In a tizzy, Janie and the Joker flew through the campus, all the police unaware and uninformed of where the infamous crime genius would strike next. Janie's red locks blew in the wind as she moaned: "Oh Joker, where in the world are you taking me? And whatever could your master plan be?" He spoke in the most feminine voice he could muster.

"You have plans? I was under the impression you just blew things up and caused mayhem at random."

"Bless your heart." He replied and gave me a squeeze. "You _get _me."

…

We passed several of his men as we walked down the mall area of the campus. They all gave him strange but obedient looks. None of them even bothered to question or ask who I was. That's probably because he told them not to.

"Coming through, coming through," He announced. "There might be a pretty little something to see here but that's none of you boy's business."

By now we were on the west side of the campus. The sky was gray and threatening as I peered up at it. It was a usual day in Gotham.

The Joker let go of my arm and held his out, as if to release me officially.

"Janie my darling red-headed vixen, I want to congratulate you for surviving a plot to blow up your university. I also would like to award you for being the first woman to tie me up not per a request for kinky sex."

I nodded slowly.

"Though that might have been fun." He voiced, really to himself. He winked as he took one last look at me before zipping off back towards his men.

…

I was officially speechless as I walked toward the subway. Today was promised to be like any other. I took a shower, brushed my teeth and got ready. I had to refill my coffee cup twice and warm some oatmeal over the stove before leaving the apartment…after that I caught the subway on 134th and Q that connected to downtown where the college was. Never would I have expected such a madcap occurrence.

I was perplexed by my encounter; it haunted me as I rode the subway towards work. I'd be three hours early, but I had too much energy to burn. I couldn't go home. Chopping some meat with a cleaver might help quell some of that adrenaline pumping through my veins.

A huge portion of time is spent at De Luca's Butcher Shop. I know it's a strange profession for a dainty looking young woman, but I thoroughly enjoy it. And it has taken me a long time to actually become a real butcher. I started when I was eighteen, Tommy De Luca would only let me sweep the floor and greet customers the first year I worked there. Tommy is a stout, rotund man, around 50 years old. He's the quintessential Italian butcher. His hair is black and thinning. It's always slicked back with gel and he's always glancing at it in the mirror. He's a man of few words, but when he does talk, it's usually to instruct. One would be wise to listen. I went through a quite extensive four year apprenticeship before Tommy would even leave me to the store by myself. He was always afraid me being a young woman would hinder my abilities. I was happy to prove him otherwise. If it were under other circumstances, I would have bragged to him as to how easily I dragged the Joker's body to the elevator. Upper body strength is crucial for anyone that is or wants to be a butcher. Now that I was indeed one myself, De Luca had no problem with leaving the store to me. He'd grown so comfortable in fact, that he lets me practically run it. On the average week, he works only about twenty hours. The rest of the time the shop is managed by either me or Tommy's brother-in-law Sal.

Sal was who greeted me as I walked into the store. "Quitting Grad school already? Decided to work here full time?"

"The Universities and schools were closed today."

"Really? What for?"

"Some threat that there was a bomb or something." Truthfully I didn't know. This is only what I thought. I muttered as I went to the back to tie my apron.

Sal put down his butcher paper he was using and glared at me.

"Will, Sarah know about this?"

I nodded. "If that's what happened it will be on the news." Sarah was Sal's wife. They have two boys in elementary.

Sal nodded slowly. "I'm going to, call her just in case." Sal's wife and sons were in a near fatal car accident about a year ago. One of his sons was in ICU for several months before being released. Needless to say Sal is justified in getting rattled when dangerous events occur.

I shrugged. "Go home, I'll cover you."

"You weren't even supposed to work."

"I'm already here…the University's closed. What else am I going to do? Go home and feed my cat?"

"You don't have a cat."

"Exactly, I hate cats." I grinned. "Now go! Be with your family."

Sal nodded as he peeled off his apron and gathered his things. "Oh, there are two orders to Loya's to be picked up at his usual time."

"Got it." I nodded as I found my own apron and put it on.

"Thanks." Sal nodded. "I appreciate it, but maybe you should get a cat…instead of showing up at work several hours early…"

"I'm more of a dog person…"

"A dog then." He teased as he hurriedly blew out the front door.

…

It was about thirty minutes later when I heard it. There were several loud explosions in the direction of the University. They shook the ground violently. This happened three separate times to my account. A stampede of people swarmed the streets. Their eyes scanned the sky around them in panic. Almost all of them had pulled out their phones to take pictures and videos. I found it somewhat comical they weren't using them to actually call their loved ones…

I ran outside as well. It was utter chaos. People were screaming and grabbing each other. De Luca's wasn't close to any of the schools or universities, but the smoke billowed hundreds of feet high. I looked towards the university. I didn't particularly want to see the smoke billowing from the library…but I was pretty sure I did. I went back inside and turned on the television. Several people from the street followed me in.

All the reporters repeated were that there was an attack at Gotham U. At this time, no one was harmed because of the evacuation. It took me a moment, I wondered who had called the attack in this morning; one of the Joker's men? The Joker himself? I couldn't see how that would be advantageous to him but I couldn't say I knew anything of his motives.

About half an hour had passed; the news encouraged everyone to go back to their daily routine. The mayor insisted that no one was hurt, but they will catch the culprit responsible. As they cut away from the mayor, the reporter spoke "this comes with the news that the infamous terrorist "Joker" has escaped from Arkham."

After a few more minutes, people cleared out. It was then the panic set in. My breaths escalated, I began to set in panic. I quickly brought myself to the door, flipped it to close and locked it. I used the structures of the shop to guide my way to the bathroom. I shut the door and flipped on the light. My arms fell onto the sink. I felt as if I was hyperventilating. I ran the sink and splashed water onto my face as I stared at it. For a brief second, I was younger. I was fifteen to be exact. There was a fire and I was screaming. I quickly shook out of it. Water wasn't helping things, but it brought me back into reality. I was partially responsible. Yes, no one got hurt, but there was no way of knowing that yet for sure. I could have done something; I could have partially stopped it. I wanted to cry. I wanted to let it all out, but none would come. I closed my eyes. It was time to pull myself together. I took a gander at myself in the mirror. I was resolute to be calm. I wouldn't lose my cool like this again. I promised myself as I wiped the sweat from my brow and went back out into the shop. I unlocked the door. I took a rubber band to pull pack my hair and washed my hands. I put on my gloves and got to work.

Loya's was one of our biggest clients. They were a great Authentic Mexican Restaurant on the West side. Loya's and De Luca's have done business together for the past twenty years. The thing about having a butcher shop in the 21st century is that it's hard to compete with chain grocery stores. They have meat shipped into their stores for little to no cost. It's easier to run by the grocery store and pick up a pound or two of ground chuck. Fortunately, good restaurants wouldn't dare buy meat from somewhere like that. Restaurants are well over 80% of our business. The chefs and owners know the difference between the meats, and so do we.

Al Loya himself actually comes in weekly for a taste test. We cut a small piece of raw steak and Al tries a sample. He knows it's the best; he usually just does it to bother Tommy. The two of them are old friends.

The order is usually well over fifty pounds, so I had to get started immediately. I always like to listen to music while I work. It helps me concentrate and work much faster. Despite the weird events of the day, I was quickly able to repress my unease by thrusting my cleaver several times into the large hunk of meat. But my favorite part is the cutting. Cutting and properly sizing up such a large order takes concentration and precision. Well, not so much if you have a good set of knives… Nothing makes me happier than completing a large order. I had it all packed up and ready, along with a sample for Loya two and a half hours later.

We usually close at five. But Loya is always so busy he could only ever arrive later. But I never minded waiting around because he always arrived promptly at 5:15. It was good anyways because it gave me time to clean up and have everything done for closing.

Like clockwork, he arrived promptly at five fifteen greeting me with a smile. "Jane, how are you?"

I smiled and nodded. It was all I could do. "You?"

"Abarrotado." He spoke tirelessly as he looked at his order. "I'm so glad you weren't at the University. They say no one has been injured though."

"That's so good. I'm glad they closed the schools beforehand." I took the sample from behind the refrigerated counter and handed it to him. But he seemed to still want to talk about the events.

"I don't understand…but I guess no sane person can really understand…"

I nodded; realizing people would definitely question my sanity if they knew what I had done…because honestly, I was starting to question it myself.

"What kind of person does this?"

I shrugged.

Al patted me on the shoulder. "I'm making you uncomfortable. This must have been hard for you, it being your school."

"It's fine." I tried to snap out of my thoughts and re-hand him his sample. "They're just buildings."

"You know I only do this for show." He laughed towards the meat sample.

I nodded. "Of course."

He took the sample and slid it down his throat. "Excellent work Jane. Tell De Luca it was acceptable." He teased as he gestured for his workers to gather up the order. "Have a great night and do be safe!"

"You too!" I felt like slapping myself as they left. Could I have been any stranger? Maybe when the Joker let me go, I should have checked myself into Arkham…I feel like my moral compass was way off. Then again, I knew that the school was evacuated… I felt this rational of mine was entirely irrational.

…

The commute back to my apartment was surprisingly long. That's probably because people were vigilant and as chatty as ever. Everyone was talking about the events of the morning. I couldn't make out what any of them were saying exactly, except that the Joker did indeed make things go boom.

Upon getting home, I was kind of exhausted. I plopped on my bed and let my hand dangle lifelessly on the side of it. I rolled to my side and took a deep breath. Something was jabbing in my side. I reached in my pocket and pulled out the knife I'd taken from the Joker. I'd taken it in a moment of panic and honestly forgot I even had it. It was small, sharp, and jagged. It had a green shell and a little carved inscription on it. I had to squint, but it read:

~_Loathe the little sleeping slices._

I read it over and over carefully. The quote sounded familiar but I couldn't place it. I shrugged as I closed the knife and sat it on my nightstand. I quickly got up and went to the kitchen. I hadn't been shopping in a few days so my choices were quite limited. After a few seconds of not being able to decide on anything, I decided I wasn't that hungry yet. I went to the living room and plopped on the couch and flipped on the television.

The newswoman did another one of her infamous somber sighs before speaking.

"Police say the bombings went off all around eleven a.m. this morning. Bombs placed at Cytrail, Edgers, and Gotham University were all detonated simultaneously." She was about to speak, but was sidetracked by something off camera. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Channel 4 has just received a videotape proving the involvement of the Joker- I must warn you that this video is of a graphic nature, for those of you with young children you might want to turn the station."

I turned off the television as fast as I could. I stared at the blank screen in shock. I didn't want to see it. It wasn't a wise plan, but I thought it best to not pretend it had happened, at least for the rest of the night. I had to wonder though; did the Joker take my advice? Did he decide to salvage the library? It was strange, how I'd seen him just this morning. I'd had a private conversation with him in fact.

They say you never really know who you truly are until you're face to face with imminent peril. As I reflected upon my day, I began to wonder that question about me. Sure, the whole point of interacting with the Joker was my own self-preservation. I just wasn't reasonably fearful of him. Perhaps it was about control. I initially had the upper hand. His life was in my hands and I _chose _to spare it. Maybe I figured he'd have no choice but to return the favor. Being who he is, that was a ridiculous assumption. But I assumed it nonetheless.

My illogical path to attain a logical answer on the subject continued throughout the evening. Before I knew it, I'd been sitting in contemplation for six hours. It was time for me to go to bed. I hopped in the shower and thought on everything some more. I didn't really know what my next plan of action should be, if any. Did I call the police? I found it highly unlikely the Joker had even spent a second of his day mulling over our little meeting. Not that it mattered, but in his world of murder and mayhem, a trivial grad student wasn't that important in the scheme of things…

By the time my shower was over, I'd decided not to call the police. I wanted my experience to be private. However completely absurd it was, it was mine. But the truth of the matter was I was afraid. I could have done something but I didn't. It would have to be my secret that was in the Gotham library and met, chatted, and sort of made out with the Joker. This would be my undisclosed escapade. That way, when the University reopens and classes resume, I could reflect on this time and marvel at its pandemonium. Because nothing severely exceptional was likely to happen again anytime soon- thank God.

…

That was until the next morning when I heard a knock on my door. I blinked several times at the clock. It was 6:12 a.m... And I didn't have anywhere to be. The university was closed and I was off of work. This was the worst. I slept in a t-shirt and pajama pants but the apartment was quite freezing this morning. I attributed this to winter. A cold front must have blown in. I threw on a sweatshirt and approached the door. I peered through the peephole.

"Jane Archer?" A husky, Irish American accent bled through the door.

It was the police, the Commissioner of the police to be exact. He was accompanied by another officer, a male in his late thirties. I opened the door and blinked several times. The light from the hallway window was blinding.

"Miss Archer?"

"Yes?"

He held up his badge and showed it to me. "I'm Commissioner Gordon with the Gotham Police Department. This is Officer Thales. Mind if we have a word with you?"

"Sure." I moved out of the way so he and the officer could come in.

"Have a seat!" I held out my arm towards the couch.

"Sorry to wake you up…"

I shook my head. "That's okay but I am curious…"

"As to what this is about? Well believe it or not Miss Archer, you were reported missing."

"Missing?" My eyes widened.

"Yes, it was called in by you Professor a Dr.," Commissioner Gordon looked down to his notepad. "Kingsley Grant."

"Dr. Grant reported me missing?"

"He said there were signs you showed up at the University yesterday morning. He went up there this morning and saw your bag."

"I'm sorry to have caused so much trouble. I left my cell phone here yesterday," I began to look around. "In fact, I don't know where it is actually. I am so sorry to have caused so much trouble."

The Commissioner smiled and shook his head. "With the day we had yesterday, it's good to see that you're alright… A bit of good news in all that chaos."

I nodded. "I can imagine. I just wish you didn't have to waste your time." Honestly it was a little strange, why would my being missing solicit a visit from the Police Commissioner?

"Officer Thales, would you go down to the car and radio the station. Inform them that Miss Archer is indeed home, and safe?"

The Officer nodded towards me and Commissioner Gordon as he left.

"So uh, where were you yesterday when you didn't go back to your Professor's office?"

Here it was. He knew something. I swallowed.

"Miss Archer. If there's something you need to tell me, there's no need to be nervous. I had Officer Thales leave so it can be just me and you."

I slowly nodded. I didn't know what he knew…I had no idea why I didn't want to tell him so much. But I knew I better not lie about it…to a point.

"Would you mind telling me what happened?"

"I'm sorry, this is…"

"I understand, take your time."

"I hadn't watched the news and…I'd forgotten my cell phone. I went to Dr. Grant's office. He wasn't there yet, but there was a list of library books. Since he wasn't there yet, I figured I'd go ahead and pick up the books for him. On the way to the library," I paused for a moment. This wasn't good. If I lied, it was called perjury. It's not like I would get in trouble telling Com. Gordon that I was taking books from the library. He wasn't here to arrest me. He wanted to know more about the Joker. But in a way I helped the Joker. I didn't report him. I could have called the police and told them where he was. I could have stopped the bombings. My only justification for it was that the schools were evacuated. No one was killed…then again someone could have just as easily been killed…"The Joker was in the library. He saw me, and…"

"It's okay Miss Archer, go on."

"I asked, begged him to let me go. I was sure he was going to…But he did let me go." I wasn't very convinced of my own story. But the Commissioner seemed okay with it. I'd have to skip the part where I tied him up. It wasn't exactly that, but the letting him go part I should have been guilty about.

"I understand this is difficult, but please if you can, continue."

"After we left the library, He dragged me down the mall area and let me go on the west side of the campus."

"Why didn't you report this?"

"To be honest," (not really) "I was terrified. I didn't want to report it because I didn't want him or his men to come after me if I did."

"If that were to happen you know we could have put protective detail to watch you."

"All due respect Commissioner, I'm not entirely sure I could trust police's protective detail."

He let out a small sigh. "Unfortunately, I can understand why you'd say that Miss Archer."

"Commissioner Gordon, I went back and forth in my mind. I wanted to call the police. I just, I'm not the kind of person that is used to…."

"Well I can certainly respect that." he straightened his coat and shoulders. "I know you've been through a great ordeal, this must have been trying for you."

I shook my head. "I was very lucky. I'm just grateful."

"Unfortunately Miss Archer, I do have a favor to ask of you."

I nodded. "Okay,"

"You are the only witness to of seen the Joker since his escape from Arkham. You know more now than any of us do about the Joker's plans or whereabouts."

"He didn't tell me anything."

"Miss Archer, understand by not calling the police, it could be seen as you were aiding…"

"No sir, that wasn't…"

He interrupted by holding up his hand. "But, I don't believe that to be true. If you will help me Miss Archer, I'm sure that will never come up as an issue."

"I understand…" I started. What he said was true, I already felt guilty about it…but that didn't matter, he kind of had me by the throat. "I'll tell you everything I know." Lie, I was such a liar though I would try to help.

"Were you able to see any of his men? If we identify them, we might get an idea as to where the Joker might be hiding."

"I feel like the Joker wouldn't stay with any of his men. Let alone let any of his men know where he is staying."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, the way he treated them. He seemed to care nothing about them. Like, he didn't care if they lived or died. I don't think he would trust those men with information like his whereabouts."

"That's very observant."

I shook my head. "I might be wrong."

"You're probably right. It fit's his profile, makes sense. Still, if we could identify any of these men…"

"I understand. I just…"

"I promise you, just let me take you down to the station. If you could look at the footage and see if you can identify or possibly give a sketch of any of them,"

I really didn't want to do this. I had a bad omen about it. But I really had no choice. If I didn't, I was failing to cooperate…the Commissioner didn't seem like one to arrest me if I didn't. But I really would feel awful about it.

"Alright."

"Thank you Miss Archer. This is tremendously helpful. It might help us in catching him."

"My only request is you let me get dressed. The coffee pot should come on in a few minutes…"

"Please, I should be the one buying you the coffee."

I smiled. "Don't worry about it. Help yourself to a cup. I won't be long." I voiced as I shut the door to my bedroom behind me. I let out a huge exhale that I'd seemed to have been holding. I didn't know what I was getting into. This was already a huge mess. Later I would have to square with the fact that I was turning out not to be that good of a person. I shook my head as I quickly cleaned up and threw on some clothes. I touched my hand to my bedroom window. It was freezing. It was definitely time to pull out the heavy green pea coat and some boots. Upon brushing my teeth I took a quick glance in the mirror. I let out one more deep sigh before rejoining the Commissioner. He nodded as he opened the front door for me. We left my apartment.


	2. Semantics

**So thank you so much to those of you that reviewed the first chapter. You don't know how much it means to me! I've been so afraid to start this story because I wasn't sure it would be as engaging to everyone else as it is to me.**

**Anyways, this chapter is Joker POV- The chapters will alternate POV's between Joker/Jane respectively throughout the story. This is the only chapter I'll be repeating a bit of storyline info-I just thought it important. :) **

**Chapter Two: Semantics **

I should get a whole fleet of dune-buggy's. I can't believe I haven't thought about it before. It's really a brilliant idea. They're big enough to carry three or four, yet they're lightweight. And it doesn't matter a bit if you tumble and knock them around a few times…It's only practical what with the amount of vehicles I go through. Dune-buggy's would certainly be a cheaper alternative being they're very disposable. I've had some time to think about this, being I've been stuck in here for three and a half grueling months. I wouldn't mind it so much if they wouldn't put me through the same routine every stint I have in here.

First, it's the "getting settled" or orientation stage. The police make sure they rough me up a little, in an attempt to break my spirit. Then it's the showers. They give me a towel and tell me to strip. I smile and shrug as I strip off my clothes. I sigh as they take them away and bag them. All my weapons have been confiscated by the police…I don't know why they won't just let me keep my suit. But then again, it's all part of the wearing-down process. After my shower, they barely let me dry off before throwing orange scrubs towards me. Upon getting dressed, we take a walk through what I like to call "Elementary Arkham." This is where they keep the lightweight cons, the kleptos, and a few self-mutilators as the wild card… take your pick. Some look over but most are too preoccupied with the television or playing table tennis. This place isn't for me, it's too bright and shiny for what they like to call truly "criminally insane." As if stealing a twelve pack from a gas station isn't insane…at least make it interesting and kill the clerk, the guy's already dead inside anyway. (Not to mention I'm sure he's stealing from the store himself.)

I'm escorted down what the inmates like to call the "hall of horrors." It's a long, dark corridor that has thirty nine rooms. Why thirty nine? I have no idea. But it always makes me laugh.

The guards shove me in the room and grin.

"Welcome home." They laugh to each other as they slam the door. I purse my lips and have a seat on my cot. It's a padded cell this time. Very squishy…

I didn't see or hear much of anything in the next three weeks. The food always comes through the slit in the door. It's unlocked by a key and slid in. If I don't grab it immediately, it's shoved in and falls to the floor. I don't like to keep a messy house so I make sure to grab it. The food is crap in Arkham. I've requested a comment card many of times but they ignore this. The service industry just isn't what it used to be…

About the second week of no contact, I see what they are trying to achieve. Perhaps to get me to confess something or at least start yelling like a madman. I couldn't see, but I felt them watching. It takes a pretty weak mind to crack in two weeks…

The end of the third week I meet my Doctor. He was a stout man, of or around fifty. He had wiry brown hair and thin reading glasses that sat on his nose, almost falling off. He gave me the blot test and asked me what I saw when I looked at them. The truth is, I never saw much of anything. They were ink blots, it was stupid. "Normal" society actually only gives psychiatrists a handful of answers. Out of the billions of people, you'd think they'd be more creative…and most of the answers are animals…go figure? Anyways, he asks me about my childhood and my family. This time I figured I'd use J.D. Salinger. I'd adopt the Holden persona. It actually took this one a few days to figure out I was making it all up…calling everyone damn phonies and such. It was kind of depressing, how poorly read a man this doctor really was.

He did however suggest I dine once a day with the general population. The guards thought it was a really bad idea. But Dr. Whatever pushed on, saying every man needs social interaction. Honestly my cot was slightly more comfortable than the benches we were forced to eat on. And they had me sit in the corner at an isolated table. So much for "social interaction," I'll never understand such ideas…

I'd like to reiterate the food at Arkham is crap. But, it's partially to thank in my first escape attempt. Mostly it was Georgia, the senile black lady that had a knife carelessly sitting out within my reach. With a simple slide of hand I pushed it up into my sleeve. It's all thanks to the tape I'd stolen my Doc's office. I'd done it just in case- it worked out well. God bless crazy old Georgia. I stabbed the knife into the padding of the cell while I pretended to take off my shoes. I'd have to save it until the opportune moment.

About a month later, that day came. Stanley, my favorite inept guard opened my cell to escort me to my appointment with Dr. Whatever. He motioned me to come towards him so he could pad me down. Instead, I pulled the knife from its hiding place and came towards him with it. I jabbed it directly into his jugular. His mouth hung agape as blood spewed out of his neck like a lawn sprinkler. It was beautiful, but really untidy. It only took him a few seconds to kill over. When he did, I simply dragged him in my room and I was ready to walk out of the place.

Unfortunately at the same time another "resident" tried to beat up a guard with a ping pong paddle. Stupid, but funny nonetheless…the whole place was on lockdown in case a riot ensued. I sighed and slowly turned back to my room. I pushed Stanley out of it and shut my door. I looked at my floor. He made such a mess of things.

It's a shame really, because I was quite ready to go. But that would come soon enough. It wasn't hard. I just had to observe the staff for a few more weeks to get the lay of the land if you will. Problem is they were a little upset at what happened to their guard. I was left in my room with no contact with anyone for over a month. Afterwards however, I met my new doctor. It was all the easier when I realized he was the person that would help me get out of there. After killing Stanley, Dr. Whatever decided to quit, fearing for his life or something like that…He was replaced with Dr. Frank Hines. Frank is 43 years old. He's worked at Arkham for nine years with the highest success rate. Success rate at Arkham is dependent on how a doc's patient cooperates with treatment. Hines was pretty proud of himself for that. What he didn't tell people is that his patients only cooperated because he upped their dosages of meds like no one's business. His patients were nothing but a bunch of lobotomized McMurphys.

I knew the first day I met him how I would go about it. I'd pull a classic Rorschach. I'd wear everything on the outside. Soon, he'd be going home questioning and contemplating everything I said. All the while, he's questioning his own sanity. Eventually, I'd ask him questions and despite his ethical code, he'd answer back. He'd come to feel that I make some valid points on life and the human condition. He senses that we're getting friendly, becoming confidants. He'd tell me his wife Vanessa cheated on him three years ago with his best friend David. He forgave her, but can't really trust her anymore. In fact, he can't trust anyone. He'd talk of how pointless and shallow everything is becoming, praise my social exploits and eventually call them justified and maybe, heroic. Before you know it, he'll have nurses and orderlies distracted while I sneak out with the laundry service. Yes, that plan worked very nicely.

That brings us to yesterday evening. It is nights such as those where it's good to have several hideouts across the city. I was so glad to be in my own clothes again, and able to put my face on. I took one glance in the jagged mirror. I was home. But there was just one problem, I still hadn't figured out what I was going to give Gotham as a welcome back present. I'm sure everything had returned to normal since my reign. Most had moved on with their lives and forgot all about me. It doesn't take long for this crooked city to move on. I heard about this experiment this artist did a few years back. He covered himself in fake blood, splayed fake organs everywhere and laid himself on the sidewalk. Three days passed before anyone did anything more than step over him. This city I tell ya…

It wasn't until I was walking near Gotham U and heard a large, thumping sound. It was the base from some loud music at a party…one of those fraternity houses near the campus was having a huge blowout. Several students were in a circle on their lawn. They were holding one by his ankles…he was doing a keg stand as others cheered him on. My smile spread in sheer rapture. I knew exactly what I would do. These spoiled kids lived the high life day after day. It was Christmas break-they should've been home with their families. Their parents paid for them to live in these run down houses just a notch above a brothel just so they could drink themselves into a stupor and forgot they were actually there to learn. It would be hilarious to burn down their home, their fortress. Then they'd have to go home, hide in the houses of their parents.

Not that I care what they do with their lives. A frat boys' sort of…moral debauchery is exactly the point I'd been trying to prove to the Batman. Most of them aren't even past twenty one, and they're already drowning.

There wasn't any money in this, so I'd have to round up some of the crazies. Normal henchman would want some kind of payment. The crazies would just blindly follow. Corralling them was easy. Some were fresh out of Arkham while others were fresh out of prison, or on probation. That didn't matter to me. As long as they got the job done and did what I told them. Gotham U would be the main target but those other two schools…Cytrail and Edgers were just as horrid, just as in need for some dire remodeling. So we rigged them all. We rigged them all to detonate the next morning. We'd come back to Gotham U tomorrow, tonight, I'd have to lay low. Alerting Gotham of my return the night I escaped would just be overkill. But the morning after, ah the morning after, will be my time to play.

I didn't really sleep. I ended up having to re-rig some things. The problem with crazies…they know nothing of the art of explosives. And yes, it is an art. I'm quite the Rembrandt. Speaking of which, some of his etchings were hanging in the Gotham University Museum. That guy certainly had a thing for sketching beggars. I wonder what that was all about. It didn't matter. I took one for the road and gave it to a hobo at the park. He used it as firewood.

…

The morning was thick and foggy. Serendipitously, it was the first day of classes after the Christmas break. I had it all planned…I called into the news station. I told them I was going to blow up an institution of learning. I decided not to give them a choice this time. I was going to blow them all up. Let them decide which to evacuate.

Evacuate they did. They made sure to evacuate all other schools in the city as well. Which was funny, I was pleased with their prompt responses. By eight thirty, it was on every major news station about town. It didn't take long; the city was again in panic.

The detonator was at Gotham U. As nice as the other colleges were, this one was just grand. I took a trip to the Janitor's closet and stole a card key to the library. I figured I'd get acquainted with the buildings I was about to blow up.

I did feel a little guilty about blowing up a library. I'm sure more than half of the students never even used it. But that wasn't the point. I hold no grudge against books.

The fifth floor of the library was a coffee shop. I broke the glass and helped myself to one of those miniature cereal boxes. Grrreeeat!

After eating, I decided that was enough sightseeing. I started towards the stairs when I heard the echo of the main doors opening. "About time." I scolded under my breath. I wasn't paying the crazies, but not showing up for a job is just rude…

My eyes widened in interest however, when I peered to the ground floor. It wasn't one of my men; it was a girl- A pretty little number with red hair. She tousled with her locks a bit and looked around. She grabbed a bag off the main counter and started taking some books. She had a list, and seemed to of been grabbing only certain ones. I carefully moved down to the fourth floor. She didn't notice me. She was too busy shoving that bag full of books. I couldn't really put my finger on why she was doing this. Then it hit me. She probably thought the library was going to explode. In some strange crusade, she was trying to save the books. Maybe she was a librarian or something.

I was distracted by her for way too long. But I liked the way she moved and pounced about. She knew the place like the back of her hand…or whatever. She was like a little fox, hopping about her little neck of the forest. I was about to stomp on her grounds when windows below both me and her on the second floor shattered. Two of my men abruptly interrupted me and the librarian's date. She quickly disappeared into the shadows of the third floor stacks.

The men scuffled about and argued. But quickly ran out of the library to go look for me and the other men. The librarian emerged shortly after. She picked up her pace of packing the books. When she moved to the second floor, I moved to the third. When she was on the first, I was on the second. It suddenly occurred to me that she was getting ready to leave. I couldn't have that. Why? Well, I wasn't quite sure. I needed to talk to her first. Either that or kill her…

I had to pick up my feet to catch up with her. As she headed towards the door, she stopped. She heard me. I knew she did. But like any careful citizen she pretended not to and kept on walking. That is until I addressed:

"Hey there pretty girl."

After that, everything went black.

…

Several hours or minutes later, I wake up. If I remember correctly, the little librarian was so startled; she smacked me over the head. I can't remember the last time someone took me down so easily. My arms were hanging next to my head. I didn't open my eyes, but I could feel I was bound. She was in the process of tying my arm…was it the left or the right? I couldn't tell. What happened next was just wonderful. I assume she was searching for weapons, that or just getting frisky. She reached her hand in my pocket and started feeling around. It felt very nice, but it was starting to tickle. I had to say something.

"Mmm, that feels nice, but this is way too kinky for a first date." I waited for her to gasp or shriek, but she merely retracted her hands. I opened my eyes. My vision was a little blurry. I shook and laughed in spite of it. I was starting to see her face, but not as I should have. I'm a guy with good vision. I attributed this temporary hyperopia to her hitting me upside the head. But the blurriness soon passed. I could see her clearly now. And she doesn't _look_ like any librarian I've ever seen.

Those campy movies with the naughty librarian are pure fantasy. Lady librarians are ones that have worked there their entire lives. They'll die before any young, hot thing takes their cushy job. No, she didn't look like any librarian. The first thing I notice were those brown doughy eyes. They look brightly back at me with interest, intrigue, and perhaps a little apprehension. She has light peachy skin and dark red hair. She doesn't pay much mind to make up, but it's not like she needs it. I give the rest of her a once over; not bad, not bad at all.

She looks at me patiently, as if I'm supposed to give her instructions or something…but she doesn't look scared.

"Got any aspirin? I have this terrible throbbing in my pre-frontal lobes." And I wasn't kidding. I could see clearly but the pain from the blow still hurt like hell.

"Sorry," She apologized. "I'll bet that janitor's cart does, but I'm not keen on leaving your sight as of now."

"Got to wait till the cops arrive, guess it's best to stay vigilant…" This was a smart one. She'd get some brownie points for catching me, that's for sure. I'd definitely look forward to killing her the next time I get…

"I haven't called the cops." she blurted. She probably shouldn't have told me that. Now I was interested.

"Reaaaallly? And, why is that?"

"It hadn't crossed my mind, I guess. I haven't really planned this out."

"You had the foresight to tie me up on, what is this, the third floor?"

"The fourth. And yeah, I don't really know why I did that. I'm sorry."

"Sorry enough perhaps to let loose my little arms?" I wiggled my hands a bit, the only thing she left free. These ropes were tight…

"I don't think so, it's just a self-preservation thing, you understand?"

I was amused but annoyed. She obviously wasn't part of my fan club. If she were, she wouldn't be so casual about all this. She was just looking to save her neck. "So, we're just going to sit her and talk about the temperature in Guatemala? You're cute, but I've got places to be Lucy Librarian. Perhaps we could walk and talk?"

"Nine Inch Nails!" She blurted. This made me grin.

"I…apologize for hitting you across the head. You took me by complete surprise. It was wholly an involuntary reaction."

"What a charming profession of guilt…but that doesn't explain why you tied me up and dragged me to the fourth floor?" I was a little befuddled by the whole tying me up thing. She doesn't seem to want anything from me.

"It follows a semi-logical path actually. My initial thought was to run away,"

"Uh-huh…" For some reason, she was intent on being cordial.

"But then I figured if you woke up, you might have some…problem with me hitting you. You might have come after me…and you already _were_ coming after me, for that matter."

"Now you don't know that. I might have just wanted to know where the registrar's office was. You just didn't give a guy a chance."

She ignored my statement and went on.

"Like I said, natural reaction…and I only tied you up to reason with you. Because I don't know you, and I have trust issues when it comes to people I don't know on a personal level."

"Oh dear, that would present a problem." Now things are getting restless. I _really_ don't like being tied up.

"I wanted to explain that it was pure self-defense. I don't discriminate with self-defense."

"I see."

"Feel free when I leave to carry out whatever it is you're doing here."

Now that got my attention. "You don't care if I blow your school up? This is your school? You're not just some homeless looter-girl stealing books?"

She gave me a look of surprise. Before this, she had the upper hand with everything. She may or may not have shifted her body a little.

"I saw you," I started.

"You were watching me?"

"You bet. I had a few minutes to spare…You were bagging the classics like they were M&M's from a candy dispenser. What were you doing that for?"

"Please don't blow up the library!"

"So the truth comes out." To be honest, I was a little disappointed. She was so interesting up to this point. "You're trying to be a hero. You don't want anything to go boom…"

"No, I just don't want you to blow up the library. I like it here. Can't you just blow up the Math department?"

I could do nothing but laugh. Just when I thought this was getting predictable, she goes and surprises me again. "Who _are _you?" I laughed through my inquiry.

"I think it'd be better to stay anonymous, don't you?"

"Now, that's not fair. You know exactly who I am."

"Not really, you're the Joker…but, I mean I don't know who you are really."

"This is who I am. What you see is what you get."

"Somehow I feel that isn't true."

"My my, we're deep. I thought this much with your love for the written word…but I still would like a name."

"I hear you, but I'd just rather not disclose that information to you."

"Let's have a mini review. You hit me on the noggin, tie me up, apologize…then ask me not to blow up the library? But you won't tell me one little name?"

"That's about right. And let's clarify that I apologized for hitting you on the head. And I only tied you up to reason with you. I don't really feel like dying."

"Well uh…as stories go I'm not a very reasonable man."

Right after I said that, two of my goons tore through the main doors. She responded by placing her hand over my mouth as we listened.

"I told you he wasn't in here." Goon one remarked.

"If we do this without him, he'll…" Goon two started.

"Look, let's just go through with it. He'll be upset if we don't." This was goon one interrupting goon two.

But goon two ignored this. "Boss…Boss?" He called out.

"Please don't take this the wrong way." She whispered to me, the woman I had briefly forgotten was clamping her hand on my mouth. She was awfully close to me. I couldn't smell anything on her but soap, which was nice.

"This just doesn't look good on my part." Her apology continued.

That made me smile. She was funny this one.

A few seconds later, the men ran out of the doors. She lowered her hand from my mouth and let out a deep sigh of relief.

"Your hand smells like coconut." I mused, trying to get a rise out of her.

She gave me a glance of disapproval.

"Why is it you're more afraid of my lackeys than me? I must say that hurts the pride a bit."

"I think it has something to do with you being tied up. That and if they found us up here, you could command them, like attack dogs." Her voice trailed off. She was trying to figure out what to do next.

"Goosey goosey gander where shall I wander, upstairs, downstairs and in my lady's chamber. There I met an old man who wouldn't say his prayers; I took him by the left leg and threw him down the stairs."

"Okay I get it, I'm boring you. But I'm new at this incapacitating a criminal thing, or incapacitating anyone for that matter. I do wish you'd cut me some slack."

I felt a little bad for her. Not as bad as I felt for myself but still, the girl was trying…

"Okay Lucy, let's make a deal. You untie me, and I won't kill you in a gruesome, atrocious kind of way. In fact, I won't kill you at all." I was a little disappointed that I added that last part.

"That's a nice offer. Do you really have to blow up the library?"

"I don't know what surprises me more; your complete lack of fear for your life, or the fact you're considering letting me go…."

"Just because you're a criminal doesn't mean you're not open to hearing someone out."

"Your demeanor, tickles me in a curious way."

"There are plenty of other buildings at the school."

"Oh would you really miss it? Is it that big of deal? I have it rigged to set here. Changing it would be a lot of work."

"I see your point, I just feel like you could improvise. And I'm sure your henchmen would do most of the work, right?"

She made some valid points. I had no real enemy so I suppose it wouldn't hurt letting the library live.

"I'm just sentimental I suppose…but it is a shame to ruin such a rich and abundant source of knowledge. What if I untied you and promised not to call the police?"

"I have a peculiar inkling you would have already called them if you really were going to strange girlie."

"You have no way of…being sure?" She spoke with a weak resolve. This one isn't the best of liars.

"This would be so much better if I were untied…then I'd know for sure." I thought for a moment how much fun it would be to see how long it took her to break. For all I know she was acting right now. The second we parted ways she'd break down and cry for the next thirty years…

"Are you talking about torture? Because I feel like I've been completely honest with you. Torture would be kind of pointless if you ask me. Look Mr.….Joker. I guess you can do what you want. I have no right to ask you to change your plans, I guess just…don't kill me and/or hurt or torture me…and I'll untie you."

Her directness was nice. She didn't have much for lying. But she was a little too calm for my taste. If only I had the time to shake things up a bit…perhaps at another time.

"Since you've been kind enough to elucidate this all to me, I guess I'll have to agree to your little proposal." I didn't see the harm in this. I wanted to be untied, and she obviously didn't want to stay here forever.

This is when I lost her attention. She retreated somewhere in her mind, mulling things over. She was definitely a tough read, I wasn't sure about her. But sure enough, she took one of my knives from the floor and cut through the rope on my right hand in one impressive swipe.

"Fantastic." I grinned and flexed my wrist.

She did the one cut thing again for my left hand. I did see a brief look of panic sweep across her face for a second. I didn't blame her. After all, she did just make a really imprudent decision.

I rubbed my wrists together and rolled my sleeves evenly. It suddenly occurred to me what one of the goons said. They were going to go ahead and blow this place up. I grabbed her wrist and peered at her watch. "No, this can't be the right time."

She looked down at it.

"It's broke; I just can't break the habit of wearing it."

"Why don't you get yourself a new one?"

She shrugged. "It's kind of a part of me. I don't want a new one. And it was only three dollars. I feel it's not worth paying to get it fixed." She was a peculiar girl, this nameless librarian. I let go of her wrist and pursed my lips.

"It's a particularly odd color of green…can I have it?"

She looked at me like I just asked her to give me her spleen.

"You did hit me over the head and tie me up." I crossed his arms.

She sighed and begrudgingly took it off.

It barely fit in the last hole on my wrist, but green goes very well with purple. "It's a little snug, but it goes nice with my ensemble." I voiced to her. Her face was curled in an adorable way. That fiery hair was quite distracting. Her pale peach face didn't help things either. What a looker…I pulled her face into mine. The bomb could go off soon so I didn't waste time. She was caught completely off guard. But she wasn't repulsed, which was surprising. No, this one was definitely not "normal," which was amusing. I very much enjoyed being inside her mouth. I smacked and released the kiss. But I didn't want to let go of her just yet.

"Interesting." I glared at her. She wasn't scared at all. My initial hypothesis was that she was suicidal and just didn't care. But if that were the case, she wouldn't have tied me up and tried to reason with me. This was a hard little button to button…

"What was that for?" Her lips asked- her head squished within my hands. She even had the fortitude to stare right back at me.

"Something to remember my little librarian by." I flirted, hoping she'd respond.

"You already have my watch." She slid back from me, I let her go.

She refused to flirt back, but in a cute way. "Nuh ha ha ha!" I slapped my knee and stood up.

"Come one, let's go." I put on my jacket and collected my various weapons, but I felt like I was forgetting something…But there really wasn't time for that. I pulled her up and rushed us down the stairs.

"Where are we going?"

"Now, I told you I wouldn't kill you. What good would that do if you were walking around this campus and one of my men did?"

"That would be unfortunate."

"Exactly, so I'm afraid you're going to have to tag along with me for a bit." I could see the exit, I'd live to torment another day…

"Wait! The books!" She shouted dramatically.

"Uh ta tat ta…We really should get going, especially since we don't have the right time." I warned as I dragged her out the door. The sad look on her face was painfully adorable.

I was starting to see her being in the library didn't add up. And now I was feeling more like myself. I _really_ don't like being tied up. "So here's what's going to happen ah, what's your real name Lucy?"

"I'd rather not."

"Oh come on, I'm going to find out anyway."

"Jane." She spoke quickly. I wondered if she was telling the truth.

"Jane…Jaaaannnnee." I tried it out. "Janie Jones…"

"Hardly."

"I'm sure. But Janie is more romanticized than Jane." I informed her. "In a tizzy, Janie and the Joker flew through the campus, all the police unaware and uninformed of where the infamous crime genius would strike next. Janie's soft, red locks blew in the wind as she moaned: "Oh Joker, where in the world are you taking me? And whatever could your master plan be?"

"You have plans? I was under the impression you just blew things up and caused mayhem at random."

"Bless your heart." I found another excuse to touch her; I gave her a quick hug. "You get me."

…

Several of my men began to emerge from the shadows and corners of the corridors and halls. They all gave me looks of fear and bewilderment. But most all of them were looking very closely at my new friend Jane. But none of them would ask anything out loud.

"Coming through, coming through. There might be a pretty little something to see here but that's none of you boy's business."

It was going to be a rainy/snowy day in Gotham. A perfect day for all its citizens to stay glued to their televisions waiting for reports that I've been caught, or waiting for reports that I've done something awful. I wasn't ready to go back to Arkham, so it would only be the latter.

I let go of Jane dramatically. She stood still for a moment, waiting for me to say something. The wind blew her hair for dramatic affect. I beamed

"Janie my darling red-headed vixen, I want to congratulate you for surviving a plot to blow up your university. I also would like to award you for being the first woman to tie me up not per a request for kinky sex."

She nodded.

"Though that might have been fun." I voiced, really to myself. I took a moment to think about what she would look like naked or bloody, or both…and just what that kinky sex would entail. But alas, I had places to go, things to destroy. I winked and decided I better get back to my hapless men.

…

I thought about Jane as the day progressed. The first time was right before I was about to detonate everything. She was right; I didn't really have to blow up the library. But she was being too sentimental about it. It was just a library. There are several more in Gotham in fact. And bookstores far surpass libraries in several ways. Besides, the University would put a new one up in no time. Sure they had archives and several classics and originals, but with people like Bruce Wayne and such, they'd find a way to make it just as impressive if not better. It was one of the bigger buildings at the University. The sky wouldn't light up half as much if I didn't set it off. But I was feeling a little soft. Right before I set it off I had a crazy go in to retrieve her little green bag she had collected and intended to steal.

Soon after, I detonated the bombs. The explosions were so massive; it shook the ground like an 8.9 earthquake. I lost my footing and caught myself on a bench in a mall area of the campus. The light show was fantastic. If I could invest in a Gotham-cam, I would just love to see the reactions of all its inhabitants. I was a little disappointed however that my friend in black didn't show up…or even the boys in blue. It was obvious my detonation would happen at Gotham U. Cytrail or Edgers weren't near as big and I did like to come back with the biggest boom possible…

I heard the police sirens as I was gathering my stuff up to leave. I shook my head. I suppose Batman wouldn't show up it being daytime and all…but come on, the guy's got to get over the whole light thing. The rain/sleet mixture gave us a little break from the smoke but quickly stopped. The clouds hung over the sky, just threatening to return. My kind of Gotham day…

I thought about sending a message, the best would be the news, but the stations were way across town, no I decided I'd wait until they came to me. The first I spotted was a trigger happy rookie, Thomas Cooley. His cameraman's equipment had a GCN logo on it so I was set. He was a little startled when I walked up to him. He took a few steps back, held up his arms. He wasn't even worth it, but I pulled out my gun and a couple lackeys behind me pulled out their guns, as he interviewed me.

He was shaking, his voice hopped up and down nervously. "I'm standing here with ….a witness to," He looked over to me as he clamored. I nodded for him to go on, he swallowed.

"A witness to the bombings today, Sir, can you tell me what happened here?"

"I sure can Thomas." I gave him a pat on the shoulder, with my gun. "I was actually in the school right before it happened! A ghost town it was, quiet halls and corridors filled with various dynamite and explosives. Set by me of course."

Thomas had fallen to the ground, gripping his shoulder that was oozing blood. His microphone was still in hand. I looked down to him.

"Do your job, Thomas! Or I'll put another in your forehead." I scolded.

Thomas struggled to sit up. His words stammered. "So, what…what was…uh…"

I didn't like Thomas very much. He lacked that degree of professionalism that all T.V journalists should possess. I reached in my left lapel for my special knife, but it wasn't there. Sure I had plenty of others but for threatening on live television, I wanted to use my pretty green one. This is the second time I thought about Janie…yep she was the only one, she must of stolen my knife. I gestured towards one of my men and he shot Cooley. Now the cameraman, he was a professional. He took a few steps back but kept on rolling. He remembered that I'd told him to, good man. I caught the microphone on Cooley's way down to the ground.

"Anyways, I hope you like my welcome back present, even though it's me returning. I suppose this is the part where I tell you what I want, and reveal part of my agenda…but, that would be too easy…" I laughed. I was about to walk off when I remembered.

"Oh and uh, I want my knife back!" I voiced playfully. I don't know if Janie listened to the news…but she'd hear it eventually.

The cameraman turned his equipment off. "We good?" The no nonsense fellow asked dryly.

I dismissed him with an arm and walked on. A couple of the crazies were following me, like I was going to have them over for dinner or something. I swiftly turned around.

"I know you're new but uh, this is where we part ways my dears. We'll be in touch." I nodded and walked off… but quickly whipped around. One of them was holding the librarian's green bag of books. I yanked it from his hands…Help these days.

…

I had a hideout not too far from the courthouse, which was twenty something blocks from the school. It wasn't stocked with anything, and I sure was hungry…given my high profile status, I can't exactly walk into a restaurant or a grocery store. Well, not unless I killed everyone. Then that would arouse questions as to why that grocery store or restaurant…then they'd start looking for my place, and I do not like uninvited guests. –Oh to be a celebrity, survival is so tedious.

It wasn't until then that I got a wacky idea. My little librarian did have my knife. And she sure wasn't famous. I could get my knife back and get some food…I don't know if it was the isolation in Arkham for all that time, but I really wanted some company…some lady company. Even though I knew her first name, I still needed to narrow the search down. I'm sure there was more than one "Jane" at Gotham University …and then again, she never really told me she was a student.

I pulled out my laptop and logged into the University's database. They run schools like they run a prison or institution, all with numbers and identification cards. I saw that there were 32 Jane's that either worked or attended the school. I narrowed it down by jobs. I didn't see my librarian as some sort of clerical worker for the school that narrowed it down to seventeen. I eliminated the five freshmen. She was no freshmen. She was definitely in her early twenties. It suddenly occurred to me that these I.D. cards had pictures. I zoomed in to search them. And there she was. Jane Archer was her name- sounded like a cartoon character, or a comic strip one, ha. She was a grad student working on her masters in Anthropology. That was quite the mouthful, and quite rare. Anthropology is practically a dead profession. I mean, what's left to discover? It was cute she pursued something so obscure. She also minored in Psychology. That might explain why she was so calm and collected. On the other hand, I've met a few dames that were psychiatrist. It doesn't necessarily mean you're the poster child for sparkling mental health…

The school was a little smarter than I thought. In order to obtain an address and more info, you had to enter credentials as an administrator. Administrator passwords were usually ones about their wives or pets, or favorite sports teams. Which contrary to popular belief, it is more difficult to hack numbers or codec's if you don't know the people personally.

Her name was all I needed though; I'd find her another way. It was likely she was listed. According to GPD database she had no adult record, a juvenile case number, but it was sealed, tight. The number was the only thing listed. It was never even transferred to a computer in other words. I was intrigued, but I could just ask her when I found her.

I checked various social networking sites but she wasn't on any of them. She had a term paper which won some kind of award, so she was a smart one. I'd assumed this before but I had no idea until I dug further. She was always on the dean's list, won several essay contests and received several academic merits-blah blah blah- what a winner! It looked like she was trying too hard. Though, at all the ceremonies, she was not in attendance. The papers had her name, but never her face. There was probably some explanation for it, but the mystery intrigued me. Fortuitous for me, so-so for her: the more I looked and found nothing, the more I became interested. And it was about time I picked up a hobby. In Arkham many of the residents picked up table tennis-I'd pick up Janie. Yep she sure was a shy one, from cameras and public exposure anyways. I couldn't find her face anywhere other than her school ID. It would be like playing Clue. I've never played that game though, so maybe not.

When I looked down at the time, I'd realized I'd been web stalking for six hours. I'd skipped lunch and moved right on to dinner. If I was going to find her tonight, I'd have to hurry.

To my dismay, she wasn't listed in the phonebook. No number or address. I looked at the school database one more time. I found out she was employed by her advisor, Dr. Kingsley Grant was his name. He was an academically decorated man himself. His office was at the school in the Anthropology wing, which I didn't even know existed, and I certainly didn't blow up. His computer would be hooked up to the school's intranet. I gathered myself up and decided to visit his office.

…

I hate going out without my face and suit, but when the occasion calls for it, I must adhere. It's much easier to go around town and not having people continuously stare and run in horror. It was freezing cold outside. I wrapped up in a black jacket to blend in with the rest of them. I wore a scarf to cover my face which is a lot easier in the winter being that it's just that cold. The wind was unforgiving, a cold front was moving in. Most people I passed covered their faces as well. It was a good hour's walk with the wind and the rain turned snow mixture. I was relieved when I reached the university. Its towering walls weren't so towering anymore. A few firemen still lingered extinguishing the last of the flames. Parts of the college weren't much to look at anymore. Most of the south side of the campus still stood. According to the map, that's where the Anthropology wing was. Upon arrival, I found out it wasn't really a wing, rather a run down, portable building and a hallway of classrooms. Dr. Grant's "office" was actually a classroom. And it was open, there was a mug of coffee sitting on the desk, but it was luke-warm. He hadn't been here for a couple of hours. I began rummaging through the desk, turns out, she's his assistant, and his only grad student…There was a strange note on his desk that read;

To library at 8:30 app.

Explosions 11:45…

Called De Luca's tomorrow if no sign...

This might or might not have pertained to her. I saw her around nine and ten. We were together…After rummaging through with no luck; I went back to the note- De Luca's. I used Doc's computer to look it up. It was a small butcher shop. I lowered my brow. I had my doubts. I was about to give up when I saw a picture in the corner of the screen. I enlarged it and there she was. The caption read:

"Our staff New Year's 2009"

She'd been working there for quite some time-as a butcher? I giggled. But the website didn't give me an address to her... I sat there for a moment, thinking. I needed that address. I had so many questions. Then went the light bulb-payroll! She'd be on the college payroll. That would be easy to get into via internet. Sure enough, there it was. It was on the lower-east side. She lived rather far from the university which was a downer. Winter was definitely here and it was freezing. I decided I'd have to wait till early morning. My bones were tired. My bed was much closer than Janie's- I didn't want to but I needed rest…

No such luck though. I'm not much of a sleeper. There are too many things to keep me awake. I don't really need it though. Sleep is overrated. They just want you to think you need sleep. As far as we know, sleep dulls the mind. Telling us we need at least seven hours could just be a ploy to keep us dumbed down. My mind's just fine with the little rest I get. I got up sprightly at five a.m. after lying down for a couple of hours. I was ready for my new red headed friend to make me some pancakes. Though, if she was out I'd settle for waffles. Surely a butcher would have meat? Maybe that's why she'd stolen my knife. Maybe she had a fetish for them. That's kinky. I don't have a fetish for them. I just like them. They're a tool. But I'd be willing to learn more about them if it sparked her interest. You have to be interested in _her _interests as well…Especially when they're interesting to you too.

I thought about all the food she might have in her fridge. I wondered if she liked to cook. I didn't mind. It didn't matter. I'm a modern guy- why should she have to cook if she doesn't want to? Food is food and sex is sex- simple as that. I'd have to wear the heavy coat today, but I'd put on my face. There was no point hiding who I was- it was still dark, and I'd get there before light. Only the crazies were out at this hour.

It was even colder than I remembered. The town was slowly being blanketed by white, icy snow. It was slick, but the layers were beginning to crunch under my feet. I was bundled up but decided to take the subway. I love the unsympathetic desolation the subway provides in the wee hours. One would have to be insane to ride it alone. All kinds of unsavor-ies ride that thing in the middle of the night to wee morning. Lots of fun stuff goes down. Being I'm at the top of the list of those kinds of fellas, I have no problem riding it-Though I do have a problem paying for it. I jumped the rails and hopped aboard. See, I've lived in this city a long time. I know the places to go even the cops won't tread. This morning was actually quite disappointing though. There were only a few lowly drug dealers on the opposite of the car and a stray dog with three legs hopping around. They pretended I wasn't there, the thugs that is. The dog didn't pay any attention to me after he found out I didn't have any food. He was too hungry to care… Me too buddy, me too. But yeah, people these days have no common courtesy.

I reached Janie's part of town. Her complex was only six blocks away. They say this is a city that doesn't sleep. But to me, it was just waking up. I like how people categorize themselves as morning people or night owls. Why don't they just sleep a few hours and be both? I can sleep plenty when I'm dead.

Janie's apartment was definitely mid-level. There wasn't anything special about the neighborhood. That's good though. I'd rather date someone without snobbery or pretention. Her complex was one of the larger ones. It had taken me longer to get there than I'd expected. I stared at it from across the street and looked around. Not a soul was outside. I was about to cross when I ate my words- a patrol car pulled in front of her complex. Lo and behold, it was the Police Commissioner. I would lie if I said I wasn't disappointed. I wouldn't think she would call the cops, but nonetheless. I sat on some stairs across the way and waited to see what happened. Gordon went up with an officer. I couldn't tell who it was. But a few minutes passed and the officer came back down. I was in luck! Good old officer Thales. He'd always provide me with crucial information-for a price. Oh happy day, I skipped across the street and got in the passenger's side of the patrol car.

Thales jumped. "Jesus," He grabbed his chest.

"Um, no it's me."

"What do you want?" He asked sharply. These people I tell you. I give them extra dough, their kids get to go to fancy schools and their wives get to stay home and eat pancakes all day. Man was I hungry.

"The girl Thales- Why are you here? Did she call you?"

"That's classified."

I rolled my eyes I didn't have time for this. I had to reach far enough in my memory bank, but it was there. "How's Loretta? Your wife? Do you think she might know anything about this?"

"Threatening, I was thinking more on the lines of..."

"How about I just don't kill you? Hmm?"

He reached for his gun but found and empty holster. Thales was a slow one. He swallowed and turned his head to the steering wheel. "What do you want to know?"

"The girl, did she call you?"

"No." His voice was dry.

I hadn't thought so. She would've done that the second she tied me up- if she had intended to.

"Then why are you here?"

"Some professor of hers reported her missing. She works up at the school and left her, bag or something up at the college. When he got there he noticed it. But there was no sign of her."

I hadn't seen her purse. That would have sped things up. "Reported missing? That usually is 48 hours thing?"

"Yeah well, she was the only person placed at the university at the time of the bombings. Finding her became a priority."

"Did she say anything?"

"I don't know. The Commissioner sent me down here to radio the station she was okay. He doesn't trust me."

"I wonder why?" I thumped him on the head with his gun. You can't jump both sides of the fence and not leave some torn clothing behind occasionally…

He groaned a little and rubbed the spot I'd hit. He looked out the window and let out a sigh.

"That's all?" I asked.

"That's all. Except…they're coming."

"What?"

"Look!" My attention turned to the apartment building. Janie and the Commish were coming down the stairs. I had to act fast.

"Here's what you're going to do. Get out and hold the door open for the girl. Don't let Gordon see me in the backseat."

"You're not going to harm the girl…"

"That's none of your concern. Would you rather I harm you?"

"Alright…just…get in the back and don't say anything!" He quickly unlocked the cage dividing the back from the front. I hurled my body over and got as low as I could. "Now it's your job I don't go to jail or get caught."

"The girl will say something."

"Don't worry about the girl. If you don't do what I say Loretta's going to be writing your eulogy."

Thales jumped out of the car and ran to Gordon and Janie.

"Commissioner…I…"

"What is it son?"

Thales had better be a good actor. But if not, I could improvise. I had his gun, and several knives.

"I saw…these two men, with guns. They were headed that way." He pointed. "I radioed the station but no one can get here quick enough. They looked crazy like, the Joker's men."

Janie eyed him strangely, she was sharp. I liked her.

"Calm down, now which way did they go?" Gordon pulled out his gun.

"Headed east, they ran down that alley." He pointed. "I wanted to go but I…"

"It's alright; I'll go check it out. You stay here with Miss Archer, keep the station posted. Miss Archer." Gordon excused himself and ran towards the non-existent perpetrators.

Thales took a glance back towards me- stupid.

"You should wait in the patrol car mam. It would be safer."

Jane took a glance toward the patrol car, damn. She eyed me immediately. Thales took note of her reluctance. He grabbed her arm and opened my door.

"What the hell let me go!" She struggled as he began to drag her. She leaned forward and kicked him in the knee and began to run off. I sighed. I'd have to intervene. I stepped out of the car and went off after her. This girl was fast, but I was in luck when she was stopped by a car as she tried to cross the street.

"Gotcha." I tackled.

But the fight wasn't over. She struggled underneath my grasp. She got dangerously close to kneeing my groin.

"Easy there Cherry, I just want to talk."

"Then why do you have a knife at my throat?"

Woops- natural reaction. "Why did you run?" I turned it around on her. "It's not like we're strangers!"

"I'd think it was a little obvious…once more- If you just want to talk what's with the knife?"

"So many questions we don't have time to answer. Now be still before the knife slips." She sighed and relaxed underneath me. The eyes on this one were full of rage, rage or something like it. I looked up to find luckily there still was no Commissioner. I lifted her off the asphalt and walked back to the car. Being in a cop car wasn't what I wanted but I needed mode of transportation. Unless I kept an eye on her, this girl was going to snitch on me. You just can't trust people anymore.

Thales looked towards her. "Miss, I'm so sorry."

Janie didn't accept his apology. She made this apparent when she kicked him in his other knee as we walked by. I laughed as I opened the door. "Okay, get in." I gestured.

She gave me an unreadable look as she stood defiantly. "Where are we going?"

I sighed. "Don't ruin the surprise now!" I spoke hurriedly. I looked down the street. Gordon turned and was heading back toward the car. It was almost sunrise; you could see his Irish silhouette sulking back in disappointment. He noticed me and started running. Janie struggled and started to yell. "Commissioner!"

Thales took charge and shoved her in the car and shut the door. "This is the last time I help you!" He spoke decidedly.

I dismissed this with a chuckle. The whole _I can quit anytime I want routine_- this was the same thing.

I climbed in the front seat passenger side. Thales got in and shut the door "I don't know how this is going to work." He voiced.

"It's not." Janie interjected. "Patrol will be called and someone's going to get shot...You're either going to jail or you're definitely getting shot. You're not going to come out of this."

"Or stabbed." I added. "But give good ol' Thales a vote of confidence why don't you?"

Janie sighed.

"You're right." Thales stammered. "I'll never get away with this; I'm in so deep I…" He took a glance to the backseat and looked at her. "I'm sorry miss." He gathered himself and sprung out of the car, leaving the door open.

I sighed. I slid to the driver's side as quickly as I could. I heard a gunshot go off behind the car.

"Well, we just lost Thales."

"What?" She asked dryly.

"Thales, the cop you kicked twice and just emasculated? The one who just left you for dead…Sounds like he couldn't endure the perils of being the duplicitous informant anymore…"

She turned around and saw what I heard. "Oh God…" She murmured.

I slammed the door shut and locked it. Gordon had run up and was banging on the window.

"Joker, let the girl go."

"Sorry I can't hear you!" I mimicked the words and held my hand behind my ear.

Janie reached for the door handle and began to jiggle it. I started laughing. "You've never been arrested have you?"

She furrowed her brow and locked eyes with me in the mirror.

"You think they're going to keep the doors unlocked from the inside? This is a cop car!" I started the engine and drove off. Gordon was trying to hold onto the vehicle.

"Joker, JOKER!" He yelled as I sped off. What a gallant fellow. He even chased the car for a block or two before I sped up.

"Now that we're alone," I shifted my attention to my completely silent companion. Either she was awestruck or she was angry with me. From the look of her face it was the latter. "Trust me Janie," I started. "This wasn't how I wanted our second date to begin either."

She ignored this and relaxed back into her seat, clenching her teeth in anger. "If you're going to kill me, go ahead and try."

"Go ahead and _try_? Are you implying that I couldn't?"

"It's possible, but it's also possible that I'd kill you first."

"That's interesting; see...if I pulled, let's say a knife on you, you'd fight me right now?"

"I don't have a death wish, of course I would."

"You wouldn't, try to make a deal with me?"

"What kind of deal? I don't have anything you want."

I squinted my eyes and tilted my head. "You don't? Are you sure?" She'd talked herself into a corner. She decided to change the subject.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know. Where do you want to go?"

"I know where you can go."

"To hell?" I spoke condescendingly. "Real original Janie,"

Her eyes closed. She was more frustrated than anything. "What is this about?"

She was asking too many questions and being quite pushy about it. "Don't you worry about that. Right now, we're going to go get something to eat. Let's go get some pancakes."

"Pancakes?"

"Is that such an outlandish request? Yesterday was a busy day for me. I barely had time to eat."

"You want to have breakfast with me?"

"Uh, yeah."

She was quiet for a moment mulling things over as "sane" people try to do. Then she said something that surprised me. "What about a Waffle House?" She shrugged.

"Do they have pancakes?"

"Yes. But, well you might have a little trouble going in. And Gotham doesn't exactly have a lot of drive-thrus."

"You're right." I glanced down at the odometer. I smiled. "Full tank of gas. Let's take the bridge and go to the Palisade's. There's got to be something along the highway." I took the exit to the right and entered the tunnel.

She shrugged. Her perpetual calm was getting under my skin. "You're not going to sit up here with me? I'm just going to be your chauffer?"

"I don't want to crawl through that hole while you're driving."

_Excuses, excuses. _"By all means…" I pulled over swiftly. Doing such caused a bit of a traffic issue. I threw open the door and got out of the car. I opened her door.

"If I help you out, you promise not to kill me?" She blurted.

"No."

"Well, to avoid a shootout in which I might die. Do remember that the Commissioner was left behind. He'll have called the station now. They all know you're in the patrol car….Meaning…"

"Aren't you a sweetheart?" I patter her head and pulled her out of the car. "But I have that covered. Why do you think we pulled over?"

I shot an oncoming Toyota's tire, prompting it to skid and hit the side of the wall. I ducked Janie and me down behind the cop car where no one could see us. A car following behind the Toyota slammed on the brakes but hit it anyways. A woman in a Jeep behind them stopped and got out. She ran to the other people's aid.

"Bingo," I murmured and dragged her along. I gestured with Thales' gun for her to get in the Jeep. She pursed her lips but quickly agreed. I got in and we sped off.

"That's better. That'll give us about an hour or two."

Jane sighed and leaned her head against the window- A little melancholy if you ask me, but she wasn't asking anything, or saying anything. "Let's play a road trip game."

"I didn't call the police."

"Oh, that came out of nowhere. I know that you didn't."

"Then why did you kidnap me?" She raised her questions in a soft, controlled voice.

"I'm not a bear in the wilderness. Stop treating me like I'm some animal that needs to be quelled and kept calm."

She took a deep, exaggerated breath. "Okay, I'm sorry. What game do you want to play?"

"That's more like it, what road trip games did you play as a child?"

"I actually didn't go on many road trips." She replied casually. I knew she'd come around. How hard is it to have a civilized conversation with someone?

"So you don't know any? Come on we've got several miles."

She retreated within her mind for a minute, and then suddenly came back. "I remember, when I was really young, we played my car-your car."

"Perfect…what is that?"

"It only really works on slow highways."

"I'm up for trying." I spoke fast, trying to speed the girl up.

"Okay, what you do is try to guess the model of the car coming up on the opposite side of traffic. Whoever guesses what kind of car it is first, wins the car."

"How do you win it? You steal it?"

"No, it's purely theoretical…you don't actually win the car."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"That's the only game I know."

"What a neglected little child you must have been…Alright fine, let's try it out."

We both concentrated on the opposite side of the road, which was dangerous but we _were_ driving in a stolen car which is dangerous within itself. I squinted as the first car came up. I couldn't tell anything except it was black.

"Toyota Camry-" She exclaimed.

I took a quick glance at her, and then the car as it came by. Sure enough! I furrowed my brow towards her.

The next car was definitely a pickup- it was red and…

"F-150." She announced.

"Are you going to give me a chance?"

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize I needed to let you win."

I grinned. That was a flirtatious comment-A flirtatious comment from my so-called kidnappee. I squinted; the next car was a ways away. I would have to time it just right. "And the next car is… mine!" I exclaimed as I jumped the median. I swerved into oncoming traffic, stopping the car that'd I'd definitely claimed.

She had her hands braced in crash mode; her right arm gripping the handle on the roof and her left pressed down into the consol.

"Ford Mustang!" I laughed as I jumped out of the car. The driver was cursing up a storm until I shot him. His hair was slicked back in gel and he was wearing those ridiculous 200 dollar sunglasses- he had it coming both literally and figuratively. I opened the door and pushed him out of the seat.

"Come on Janie…" I motioned to my date, who was still sitting in the Jeep. "We don't have all day…"

She shook her head in shock, and then glanced over to the driver's seat of the Jeep.

"Nuh-uh-uh!" I jumped out of the car and approached her. She held her arms up.

"What?"

"Don't play innocent. Now come on we need to put some miles behind us."

She reluctantly got out and followed me to the Mustang.

"This is much nicer. Why don't you drive?"

Janie shrugged. She was trying to recompose herself. This was a good sign. At least I'd finally rattled her a bit.

"Alright," She spoke numbly and got into the driver's side. I didn't have to ask; she drove back over the median and continued on the path we were going.

"Want to keep playing?"

"I don't think I'll ever want to play that game again."

"Now that's a little dramatic. I was just having some fun. You should lighten up…besides, we have a different car now, and it's not like he can report it stolen…and I can just tell the cops I won it fair and square in a game of my car-your car."

Janie glanced at me for a moment, then back to the road. She strummed her fingers on the steering wheel.

"Why Anthropology?" I decided I should get the conversation started.

Her mouth hung agape for a second. "Uh- I guess," She shook her head. "I've always been interested in other cultures."

"Did an aptitude test tell you that?"

A faint smile spread across her lips. She was trying her best to suppress it. "No, I want to travel; I want to see the world."

"So google it."

"That's not exactly the same thing."

"So what- you want to see the landmarks?"

"No, I want to see different types of people. I want to learn the way they live life. I want to understand life from a different perspective than my own."

"I'd say that's what you're doing right now." I leaned back the chair and propped my feet on the dash. "You don't have a criminal record you've never done anything like this."

"Why are you stalking me?"

"Stalking implies I've been following you. That's not the appropriate vernacular Janie."

"Cyber stalking then?"

"Call it, ethnographic research."

She laughed. "I'm not that interesting."

"I'll let you know." I informed. "But back to the anthropology thing."

She sighed "Alright,"

"Why are you so unhappy with your culture? Is it not good enough for you?"

"What?"

"If you want to travel so much, you're obviously searching for something. You can't be complacent."

"I wouldn't say that's true."

"I would. You can see it in your eyes."

"My eyes are on the road, you can't see in them."

"Look at me."

"I'm driving."

"So pull over."

"I'm getting hungry and we're almost to the interstate. There should be some places up there."

Janie was fighting me for control. I grinned. Straight ahead was some burger chain. She insisted they had pancakes.

"I hope you have cash." She announced.

"What makes you think I carry around cash? I can't just walk up and buy things like you do. Where's your wallet? Oh right, you left it at the University- How careless!"

"I was a little distracted."

"So it's my fault you don't have your wallet?"

"Maybe," She paused. She was about to suggest something morbid. Her mind had to square with that for a moment. But that was fine I'd say it for her…

"You think I took the guy's wallet when I shot him?" I acted appalled, "Well of course I did. I'm not going to invite you to breakfast and not pay for it!" I pulled it out and waved it toward her. She rolled down the window. A rush of wind came in, blowing her long hair all over the place. It was ethereally lovely. It went well with her fingers that moved it off of her soft face; so peach, pale, and pristine. For a second I thought I was in a Maybelline commercial…except she wasn't really wearing any makeup.

"Hi can I get two breakfast platters please?" She paused. "One orange juice and…" She turned to me. I shrugged. She pursed her lips and turned back. "Make that two…"

…

Threatening Janie's life or well-being certainly wasn't something that could quell her appetite. She ate her breakfast with appropriate gusto. Though it wasn't in such a voracious manner as I had approached it with-But a girl with an appetite was something to admire.

We had pulled over to a rest stop per my demand. It was heavily wooded. Where we parked you couldn't see the car from the road. Sated by the food in my stomach, I was feeling sprightly and ready for conversation.

"So, why is it, you're not afraid of me?" I asked bluntly. I was genuinely curious.

"Don't get me wrong, I have a reasonable fear of people who threaten me with weapons."

"But that's not me…" I corrected. "You've got me all figured out-Is that it? There's nothing to truly be afraid of…"

"Are you saying you want me to be afraid of you?"

_Touché Janie. _"I suppose I need to work through these very important issues. You have a degree in Psychology hmm?"

"You want me to be your therapist?" She asked scathingly.

"There's an idea."

"I _minored_ in psychology-there's a big difference. I wouldn't know how to be a therapist to anyone."

"Oh come on."

"I only took basic survey courses. I wouldn't know where to even begin..." She shook her head. "Why are we even having this conversation? Can we get to the point? Are you going to kill me or let me go?"

"Whoa, we were doing so well. Why ruin the moment?"

"What can I say, I'm a buzz kill. I've been exceedingly calm up to this point. But I can't take it… I don't like to play games with my life."

"Is it really all that serious? Are you like this on all your dates?"

"You wanted me to be real with you, that's what I'm doing. You obviously know a great deal about me already, what is there left to know?"

This was stimulating. She wasn't yelling, but certainly raising her voice… "Temper, temper, you want me to share with you? Is that it?"

"That would be nice."

"Want to know how I got these scars?"

"No." She spat.

I paused for a moment. I was a little taken aback. "No?" I mumbled through laughter.

"Why would I want to know that? Does that have anything to do with what you want with me? Do your scars explain why you decided to steal two cars and kill a guy to eat some pancakes with me at this rest stop? I think not! So why don't you start explaining things?"

I grabbed her chin and pulled out my knife. Her eyes and facial muscles tensed under my touch. The anger in her eyes was palpable. I studied her for a second. There was a brief moment when she broke eye contact. She looked down, studying other habitants of my face. I watched her carefully.

"You wanna know," I spoke softly, almost a whisper. "Why I brought you…" I fluttered my tongue and clenched my jaw. I decided. "Kiss me again."

"What?"

I grinned, her favorite word. "Kiss... me."

She shifted her focus. She eyed the knife.

"Forget all that just," I swallowed. "…do it."

She closed her eyes and leaned in. Her lips were cold, as were mine. But it didn't take a few seconds for them to warm up. There was no tongue this time, but this was even better-she was kissing me back. She'd initiated it. Of course it was per my request but that's just semantics. I could feel it; I could feel my body respond. It's the excitement that sets me on edge, the thrill that keeps me going. This feeling usually comes from massacre and mayhem-tools of my trade. But this was from the source of her touch, her hand on my neck. I hadn't imagined it. She placed it there for a brief moment then lifted it. She pulled herself away. I was still holding the knife in my right hand. It sliced her cheek as she moved herself back to the driver's seat. A few specs of blood dripped on the bottom left pocket of her green coat.


	3. Hungry Like the Wolf

**Chapter Three: Hungry Like the Wolf**

I was out of my element. I don't know what the hell had just happened. But I'd just kissed him again. He'd drawn a knife to me; I thought if I kissed him I'd get rid of that persnickety weapon. That was my problem for trying to think like a man…especially a man who colors his face like a manic-depressive clown with Ed Gein-esque intention. And now my cheek was bleeding. I had to pull away though. This was too intense. The warning signs were going off. This was dangerous; this was way beyond any kind of behavior I should have exhibited with him. I shouldn't have touched him. I don't know what had come over me. But responding to him in any way was practically an open invitation. I knew that. I knew that when I looked up to him. He was looking at me with new eyes. He also was mesmerized by the blood on my cheek. He stared at it with great interest. I could feel it beginning to trickle. He took his jacket off. There was noooo way that was happening...I began to reassure myself of this in my head. But instead of disrobing further, he took his long sleeve and wiped the excess off my cheek. He tilted his head. "You shouldn't be bleeding." He spoke in the softest voice I ever heard him use.

"I shouldn't have done that." I voiced that out loud. Damn.

"Sure you should have, don't beat yourself up about it." He eyes were locked in focus towards my cheek. His tongue licked his sleeve. That helped to wipe off the smudges.

"Eww." I murmured.

He grinned widely. "What, it's fine for me to be in your mouth but not on your cheek?"

_It's not fine either way._ I thought. But he still was holding the knife. "You cut me." I accused. I couldn't hold that in. "And now there's blood on my coat." Like that was even important...I needed to shut up.

"Neither was intentional doll." He finished cleaning my face, but looked unhappy. "It's still bleeding." He turned my face to look at it closer. "It's not that deep. I don't think it will leave a scar."

"How comforting…" I looked up to him. He was already looking at me. What an odd moment. I didn't know exactly what it was I needed to know from his eyes, but I wasn't getting it. I wasn't getting anything but an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"I need to go home."

He sighed. "A little scratch and you're ready to throw in the towel?"

"I'm tired. It was a long day yesterday; what with working and the University exploding."

"About that, your work- I'm interested to hear more."

"I'm really tired…And more than a few hours on a first date is a little overkill."

"Oh Janie you're right. So many things to do, now that I'm back…"

I started the car. You didn't need to tell me twice.

…

Per his instructions, I drove to the school. He assumed that my apartment would be swarmed with cops. That was a practical hypothesis.

"Oh this was a lovely time," He started.

I nodded. Anything to get away…And that I did. I got out of the car and began to walk. I closed my eyes. I heard him walking up behind me.

"Jaaanieeeey?" He called.

I turned around. He took my face in his hands and licked the spot where I had been bleeding.

"What the eff?" I spoke dryly.

He giggled. "You have a peculiar way about you that I find that deeply fascinating."

"I do?"

"Yes," He immediately responded. "You just haven't tapped into that higher potential of yours." We stared at each other for a moment. He swallowed. "Just curious, how was this as dates go?"

"Seriously?" I smiled a little. But he was dead serious. "For future reference, I don't like the whole killing people thing."

"I don't know," He scratched his neck. "You seemed disturbingly calm about it opposed to other people. I don't think it really bothered you."

I didn't want to think that.

He took notice of my distress. "Listen, don't let societal standards of feelings dictate yours. Don't feel bad for being yourself…"

"You're trying to manipulate me, to see things your way."

"What can I say? I'm a bringer of blood, this one's from the heart."

"Six Feet Under lyrics?"

"That a girl. It's good you get all my musical references. Next time I'll bring you a mix tape. Mind if I take the car?"

I shook my head.

And with that, he took off. I stood there motionless. Our visits seemed to have that effect on me. The only words I could muster were _dear God _under my breath_._ I waited until he left and I went closer to the school.

My assumption was correct- there were detectives still abound investigating the bombings. I got their attention. They called the Commissioner for me. There was no getting around it. I had to talk to him if I didn't want to go to jail…and it was the right thing to do.

Commissioner Gordon was there within twenty minutes. It was amazing how cops could do that-be anywhere in the city in twenty minutes. It took me hours to get places at times. He brought me a blanket as he gestured his arm to his car. "Let's talk."

…

I'd never been to the police station before… I sat and waited for Commissioner Gordon to clear an office. I got a few stares and glances. The paramedics checked me out. They cleaned my cut and put two small little strips of adhesive tape on it. I looked like one of those heroes at that end of an action movie. I'd been through hell but I got out of it with a measly scratch. I laughed to myself. I sure didn't feel like a hero.

The Commissioner came out of the corner office and gestured for me to follow him. I came in and he shut the door.

"Please have a seat, sorry about the wait."

"It's no problem."

He nodded, and then looked down to the table. "Oh I got you some tea and coffee. I didn't know which you preferred…Sometimes tea helps to calm the nerves."

I reached for the tea. "Thank you."

"I imagine you'd like to get this over with so I'll get right down to it."

"Sounds good-"

"I suppose you know that Officer Thales is no longer with us…"

I had a flashback of seeing him lying in a pool of his own blood. "Yes," I tried to shake the image from my mind.

"Could you tell me what you know happened?"

"He was, well I'll start from the beginning."

"Very good,"

"I found the way he was acting when we came out of my apartment was strange. When you left to chase after the criminals I assume don't exist he grabbed my arm and tried to force me in the squad car."

"And the Joker?"

"He was already in the squad car…It seemed like he had some deal worked out with him."

"And then, what happened next?"

"I," I closed my eyes. As I reached in my memory, I easily saw how I could've partly led to the officer's death. "I kept trying to tell the Officer Thales that whatever plan he had would not work out and how he wouldn't get away with any of it. He verbally agreed with me and that's when he got out of the car. The last thing he said was that he was sorry."

"And then, what happened?"

"You were already coming back. I heard a gunshot and turned around."

"I understand."

"The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself." I mumbled. He gave the quote a whole new meaning…

"I'm sorry?"

"Nothing," I shook my head. "You were there by then. The Joker had crawled to the driver's seat."

"I remember you had called out to me. When I got there you were trying to get out of the car."

"Yes, look I know this looks strange and sketchy on my part, but I have no idea why he was at my apartment."

"Did he tell you why he took you?"

"Yes, he wanted to go get breakfast."

Gordon gave me an incredulous look. "Breakfast?"

"It's just as absurd to me."

"Alright, he takes you in the squad car…"

"Yes, he tells me he wants pancakes…"

"Pancakes?"

"That's right. I remind him he can't exactly walk into a restaurant so he decides to drive out of the city into the Palisades. In the tunnel, he abruptly stops the car, shoots the tire of another causing it to crash and another behind it. A lady in a Jeep pulled over to help and he stole it."

"And you went with him?"

"He had Officer Thales' gun."

"Did he threaten you with it?"

"Not verbally, but waved it around and turned it towards me. I would have tried to get away if I could."

"I wasn't implying anything."

"Yes you were, but that's fine. I'd question me too. It sounds like a ridiculous story."

He smirked a little. "I appreciate your attitude Miss Archer. Please continue."

"So we go down the road a bit further. He went across the median and cut off this Ford Mustang. He…killed the driver."

The Commissioner started shuffling through his papers. "This is the Mustang just recovered a few blocks from the school…" Gordon was putting two and two together as policemen often do. "There were no witnesses to that and we didn't know what had happened." He shook his head. "Well, At least we know who killed the man."

"I suppose." I really didn't know how much closure I'd get if the cops told me my husband/father/brother was gunned down all because some super-criminal wanted his car. "Well I briefly thought about jumping over to the driver's side of the Jeep when he hopped out. But he caught me before I could. We went down the road some more, he made me drive now. We went to Burger Bros. and got two breakfast platters. After getting the food we parked at a rest stop and ate."

"Then what happened?"

"Then, after a while I drove back, back to the school."

"That's it?"

"Well, that's the basic structure."

"What did the two of you talk about?"

I understood why this was important for the police to know. They needed any and all intel on the Joker. Anything he said to me could be a step closer to finding and catching him. But somehow I still didn't want to talk about it.

"Initially I tried to be very calm and collected. He seems extremely volatile and unstable. But he didn't like that and he caught on to what I was doing."

"What did he tell you?"

"He said something like: _I'm not a bear in the wilderness that needs to be quelled._"

"Is that when he cut your cheek?"

"No, that was later."

"Can we talk about that?"

I nodded. I was suddenly at an impasse. If I lied, this would be the second time I didn't tell the Commissioner that he kissed me. I felt much guiltier this time. I don't know what it was, perhaps embarrassment…embarrassment that I'd let it happen twice. Or embarrassment that I'd actually participated and reciprocated…whatever it was kept me from saying anything.

"After eating, I was sick of him grilling me. Because that's basically what the bulk of our conversation was. He was asking questions about me and my personality. Anyway I kind of lost it. I told him he needed to share with me his intentions. I suppose he didn't like my demeanor so he pulled his knife out and held it to my cheek."

"What did he say then?"

_Say, he didn't say anything. Except for me to kiss him. _"Nothing, he just, stared at me."

"Hmm, did he say anything of future plans or if he'd return to see you?"

"In effort to get out of the situation, I did remark that more than a few hours for a date was overkill and I didn't want anyone dying on our next date. I didn't want to even acknowledge it, but I did in effort to get away."

Gordon's eyes lit up. "He told you it was a date?"

"More or less."

"I hadn't realized that…did he tell you…"

"Why he was interested in me?"

"Yes."

"He said I had a peculiar way about me."

"Do you?"

"Not that I'm aware of. Nor do I want to have anything that attracts me to him." I spat that out rather quickly. Did I mean that or was I trying hard not to incriminate myself?

Gordon put down his pen he'd been taking notes with. He took his glasses off and began to clean them.

"Miss Archer,"

"You can call me Jane."

"Jane, I don't think you wanted any of this to happen."

"I didn't."

"I believe you. But I feel like there are parts you're intentionally leaving out."

I suppressed the urge to swallow nervously. "Like what?"

"I think you're intentionally underplaying what happened."

I knew what he meant. I sighed. "You're probably right. I think it's just my way of coping."

He took a breath. "With that said, you've had a long and trying two days, I know you want to get this over with…but you're now one of the only, if not the only lead to finding and catching him. Since he's been on our radar he has not had any known accomplices to speak of. He has no family. You're now the closet known person to him."

"Oh God."

"I know you're not an accomplice, but for some reason he's taken…well he just seems to be taken by you."

"I don't know about that."

"This denial might be that tendency to underplay your importance."

I looked up to him. Everything suddenly became a little bit more real. I wasn't the best at reading the signs but it was obvious the Joker was attracted to me. But the gravity of that suddenly dawned.

"I don't understand why me? There's nothing special about me."

The Commissioner sighed a little. "Miss Archer please forgive my forwardness but you're a very attractive and intelligent girl. I can see where most all men would take a shining to you."

That was a little embarrassing. I know he wasn't hitting on me or anything, but it was still kind of awkward.

"As for why he "picked" you, I'm no psychiatrist. It might be circumstantial. I'm not going to pretend to understand him. It might be that you were simply there."

I nodded. I was still feeling a bit numb, but I was stuck in a sort of limbo between numbness and alarm. I couldn't decide which side to settle on because there was something else-something else that I was feeling. I really didn't have a name for it. In actuality, I just didn't want to name or acknowledge what was stirring in me. "I don't know what else…" My voice trailed off. I stared down at the table. My right hand had been gripping on my cup of tea but I hadn't taken a single sip.

…

I was never so happy to see my apartment. The Commissioner had warmed up my tea three times. I kept telling him it was unnecessary but he insisted. We went over and over what happened. Then we went over what happened the day before. It was nighttime before I got home- My home which now was apparently a fortress. I had my own protective detail in the form of a tan unmarked Crown Victoria that was too obvious for words. But I didn't care. I made sure my door was locked. I even went back a few seconds later to make double sure. I did not want any unwanted guests tonight. For the first half hour I just paced around. It was a trying day. It was justifiable. I wound up in my kitchen. I opened my fridge. I still hadn't gone shopping. It was a good thing I suppose that I actually had breakfast today. At least I ate one meal…I really needed to go to the store. I sighed and leaned back against my bar. I looked on top of the fridge. There was a bottle of wine my Mom had sent me for Christmas and a box of crackers…good old Mother! They were the only things in my kitchen basically. I sighed. This was a good time to pop the cork and eat some crackers. What a party!

…

There were only a few sips left in the bottle. I'd drunk it all….drunk…drank it all? Anyways, I sighed in discontent. This wasn't the best of ideas. I rarely ever got drunk. None of my thoughts were entirely coherent or even remotely intelligible. But that's okay; I was home and wasn't going anywhere. The day simply replayed in my mind. I thought over and over about its madcap occurrences. In a span of two days- I'd had intimate dialogues and make out sessions with the Joker- A person nay persona that was startling as hell but he interested me more than I wanted to admit. I peered out the living room window. The cops were still there. I could see their cigarettes light up the dark of the car. I turned back and practically fell onto my couch. Cops were outside and I lived on the 27th floor. It wasn't like anything was going to scale the walls… Hopefully I would fall asleep. I pulled the blanket over me and sprawled out on the couch. There would be nothing else to worry about tonight at least.

I was almost in la-la land when I heard it. Something had landed on the ledge of my balcony. I almost literally slapped myself. It seems like every time I deny something will happen-it does. I knew this was true because I saw whatever it was lift my window and let itself in. After that, it-he was just standing there. The dark eyes filled up my line of vision as it came into my apartment. It definitely was my drunken stupor- but I didn't get up. I still laid on the couch numbly. Surely this was a dream.

"You're tall. What are you doing here?" I asked the man, the man dressed in all black. He had a shell-looking suit on along with a cape. "Jesus," I sighed. "You're Batman."

"I came here to ask about the Joker." Well, he was no nonsense.

"Of course you did! Why else would you break into my apartment in the middle of the night?"

"What happened between you two?"

"Look, Mr. Batman I've had a really hard day. Can't we do this some other time?"

"Time is of the essence."

"It always is, isn't it? And couldn't you have just knocked?"

"I need to know."

"Well ask away. I'm an open book apparently…or at least the police seem to think so."

He looked at the empty bottle on the coffee table. "You're drunk." He surmised.

"I've had one of the craziest days of my life." I spat back. "You try doing that sober."

"What happened at the school?"

"That was yesterday...err two days ago. Can't you ask the police?" I was short with him. But I _was_ pretty buzzed. And I was particularly sick of costume characters interjecting themselves into my everyday life.

"I hoped you'd tell me."

"What is it you want…Batman? I didn't ask for any of this…"

"You may not have asked for it…but it happened to you nonetheless."

"Once more, why don't you just ask the cops? Speaking of which, why didn't they stop you?"

"The ones outside?"

"Uh, yeah."

"They didn't see me."

_A lot of protection they were._ I sat up now- a little too quickly if I might add. Everything was slightly swaying. I squinted my eyes and stared at the clock. "4 a.m. - How nice." I leaned my head back and scooted over. But he just stood there.

"Look, I'm exhausted. I've had two very stressful days with very little rest. I'm sure Commissioner Gordon will be happy to share with you the information I relayed to him. Now please go."

"You will answer my questions."

"I will kick you out." I glared at him.

"Did you treat the Joker like this?"

"He was threatening me."

"And I'm not?"

"There's no reason for you to threaten me. Oh, and you really haven't asked any questions."

"If I ask some will you answer?"

I sighed. I'd sort of just walked into that one. "If you will just cut the "I'm scary and dark"routine and sit down. I'm not some thug you need to interrogate. For all intents and purposes you're the thug- you broke into my apartment. You could be just a little bit nicer."

The Batman sat down on my IKEA couch. I smiled a little but I felt a little bad. "Do you want some water?"

"No." He spoke brashly, then quickly corrected. He cleared his throat. "Thank you."

I sat down next to him. I draped the blanket over my shoulders. It was cold. That's when I realized he'd left the window open. I got up to close it then returned to the couch.

"Look, I don't know what any of his plans are. I don't know where he lives- nor do I want to."

"Do you know why he blew up the universities?"

I shook my head. "I don't think he really knows. His plans are more sporadic than that I think."

"How many men were at the school?"

I closed my eyes. I thought back. "I saw at least twelve."

"Did you talk to any of them?"

"Not exactly, but I was in the library when two broke in. They didn't see me. They were arguing whether they should go on with the job with or without the "boss", then they left."

"How did they seem?"

I shrugged. "They were wearing clown masks- obviously it's a little weird to go out in public wearing a costume." I swallowed my words. But he took it in stride.

"Obviously." He might have grinned, but maybe not. "What about when you went to get pancakes?"

"Well," I stopped. "How did you know about that?"

"I read Gordon's report."

"Then-pardon me but why are you here?"

"I had to make sure you weren't lying about all this."

"Why in the world would I lie?"

"Maybe you're working with him."

"With the Joker?"

"I had to be sure you could be trusted."

"Trusted? Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I need your help…"

"My help?"

"Gordon and I both believe that he'll try and see you again."

Well, I was dry, speechless, and almost sober again.

"When he does, I'll be waiting." He started to get up.

"What?" I followed him and blocked my window. "You're going to use me as bait?"

"Yes," He spoke decidedly.

"I don't remember saying I agree to this."

"Would you rather me not help protect you?"

"You have a funny definition of protection."

"This is the first time he's shown any kind of softness or susceptibility. You understand we have to do this if we want to catch him."

"Okay, I'm not an expert on his psyche, but I'm pretty sure he's not above putting a bullet in my head or a knife in my throat to get away." I really had no idea, but I needed to cover my behind. "Let's say hypothetically he does come…" What was the word I was looking for? "To _pursue_ me; he'll see right through my act. I'm not a good liar. I can't pretend everything is normal."

"Would you normally pretend everything was alright if he came to visit you?"

"Well, no."

"Then I don't see a problem."

"He's too smart, he'll see right through it."

"Now it does sound like you're fond of him."

"I'm just saying I've tried to act with him before, and he immediately caught on."

"Then don't act. Once again there is no problem."

I was fuming. I don't know who I was angrier with right now- The Joker or Batman…or myself. "You're playing with my life here."

He stared at me for a moment. "I won't let you get hurt."

"That's a nice sentiment, but a bunch of people died a few months ago because of all this turmoil."

"That's not going to happen to you."

"You can't promise me that…" I rebuffed. I didn't want any of this. I missed my life from three days ago. I was already in deep, but now I felt like a seedy double-agent. I was playing both sides. I didn't like that. But I really was only on the side of my self-preservation. "I have to tell you that I am a survivalist. I will do what I have to do to make it out of this. And I won't lie, to anybody. Not because I have some moral code against it, because I simply can't. I'm not a good liar…"

"Fine," He voiced. "But I need to know the truth. How did someone like you get mixed up in all this?"

"Happenstance…" I replied dryly. "I don't know- how did you become a costumed vigilante? You have to know it's a mentally unstable cause."

"Fighting crime and injustice is mentally unstable?"

"No, dressing up like a bat is."

"It's a symbol."

"It's a costume…but hey, I wish you luck in all your endeavors. What you do is good for Gotham. I just think it has to be not so good for you."

"I manage just fine."

"I was intrusive…too blunt. I'd say it happens when I'm inebriated but this is the first time I've drank in ages…" I clumsily apologized and turned back to the couch. "I just don't know how anyone could handle…" I wasn't talking to anyone anymore. He'd left my apartment. To top it all off he'd left my window open again. I growled and went to shut and lock it. I was still a little dizzy, but my anger seemed to supersede my drunkenness.

…

The next morning came too quickly. I attributed that to the fact I didn't sleep a wink. I just laid there. I thought about all the interesting people I'd met recently- The Joker, Commissioner Gordon, Thales, and oh yeah, Batman was in my apartment a few hours before. It was around eight when I finally rolled out of bed.

To avoid sounding like a total pessimist, I thoroughly enjoyed my shower. All the filth and even the cold seemed to wash away with some soap and shampoo. I felt refreshed as I got dressed. My mind was all over the place so I thought it advantageous to make a list. I got a pad and a pen as I sat down on the couch.

1. Find phone.

-That should have been a priority last night, but I was too out of it. Then I had that bottle of wine and I was really out of it.

2. Get groceries.

-I was off today. I'd usually be working for Dr. Grant but I felt like would be unnecessary since the University was closed. Though I did need to get my bag from him- I wrote down the next thing.

3. See Dr. Grant.

That was as far as I got. I didn't need a list it was a stupid idea. I ripped the paper and waded it up. I threw it across the room. A attributed my bad mood to the past two days. I felt it was a bit justifiable for me to be angry. And there was no one around for me to be angry at so I got mad at the paper.

I popped up and began to look for my phone. They say you should always try to think of the last place you had it…but I don't remember. I knew it was somewhere in the apartment, but where? After ten minutes of searching I was even angrier. I plopped on the couch and tried to clear my head. In a few seconds it worked. I sprung up and ripped off the cushions. Sure enough, it was there. My ever-so-expensive (and unnecessary) smart phone-and it was turned off. When it woke up, it revealed I had six messages and several texts. I called my voicemail. The first one was from Dr. Grant.

"_Hey kid, you left your stuff up here. The school's closed cause of a threat. I think you're in the library but these cops won't let me back in the school. You need to get out of there. And we all need to get the hell out of dodge…or at least away from this school."_

The second was from a police officer saying I needed to contact him or the department pronto.

The third was from my Mother….

"_Jane its Nancy. Your Professor or something called and asked if you were with me. Justin and I are in Morocco and I don't think you have our new address in the Hamptons so I don't know why you'd be there. He said something about a school prank or joke and you need to call him because he's worried about you. If you're in any legal trouble I can get you a number to a lawyer."_

The forth was the cable company saying my bill was two days late-geez those Nazis.

The next were from Dr. Grant and the Police. I went through and deleted them. It dawned on me I'd have to change number two on my list to number three. Because Dr. Grant had my purse and my money- the only reason I had my keys was that they stayed clipped to my jeans. Thank goodness for my janitor-esque fashion sense.

…

Dr. Grant would be in his office no question. He spent the bulk of these past years in his office. I thought about calling him but I thought I might as well just go. It sounds selfish but I wanted someone to be glad I was alright and acknowledge they were worried about me…

"Well shut my mouth!" He sprung up and gave me a hug. "Why didn't you call me I thought you were dead and gone…or at least gone that is until the police called me." He offered me a seat which I accepted. "I got this call back from the police Commissioner finally saying you were alright but the station had no record that you'd been there…"

I lowered my brow. That wasn't comforting…or maybe it was? I guess it could go both ways.

"I'm sorry, I just found my phone."

"I even called Nancy." He spoke her name in a taut tone.

I laughed. "So, are you okay?"

Dr. Grant shrugged. "I'm fine…it's all fine. Someone hacked into my computer but hey- at least they didn't steal it!"

"What?"

"Looking up payroll for the school…I told the cops about it but that's the least of their worries." He looked up to me. His salt and pepper hair took up most of his head. His hair was thick and bushy. His beard, in contrast was quite neatly shaven. He was a large man, about six feet tall. He was stocky and rough looking. I guess world travel can do that to you. And I mean _world_ travel- Not tropical isles or tourism hot spots.

"So now that I know you're alive, I need to know if _you're_ okay. I need to know what happened."

"Do you have any food?" I blurted. I was evidently really hungry.

Dr. Grant threw me a bag of trail mix from his drawer. "Spill."

…

The story was lengthy, and I included a few more details than I did with the police. But I couldn't bring myself to tell him about the kissing parts either. I don't know, I just couldn't tell anybody about that...But I did tell him about our conversation and his quirky demeanor. I said earlier that I was an introverted loner. I wasn't exaggerating. The truth was Dr. Grant was probably my closest friend. That sounds really pathetic but it's true. I've never been one for many friends. I have a few acquaintances my age I'd done things with. I had a boyfriend I'd broken up with several months ago… But I'm positive no one aside from Dr. Grant had even noticed my brief absence. It's not like I hang out with Dr. Grant outside of the academic world. He just listened to what I had to say. And he listened to this story with great interest. His face was fun to watch (because of all the facial hair bouncing up and down with his expressions) as I told my tale.

He shook his head. "Jesus kid, if that story doesn't put pepper in the gumbo…" He shifted his jaw; he wanted to ask me something but didn't know how.

"What is it?"

"You've described the Joker in great length, but what's Batman like?"

I had to think about that for a minute. After all, I was in an altered state. "Tall?"

"Tall?" He repeated lamentably. Dr. Grant was a huge follower and fan of Batman. He read all sorts of psychology books and frequently visited theory and fan websites dedicated to him.

"I was kind of out of it…but he seemed…brash."

"How so?"

"In the way he asked questions. He was definitely no gibberish. He wanted to get straight to the point."

"That's just his M.O."

"And now I guess I'll just have to wait until they need me? Wait until any of them decide they want to visit me again? Aw hell..."

"I'd hate you to leave, but- have you thought about leaving town?"

"I guess I could do that but…" I mulled this over. If I left town would I feel safer? But maybe not… "No I couldn't leave."

"Well they better watch you like a hawk, you're like the daughter I never had-The daughter who I also talk about really incongruous things with."

I laughed.

His eyes lit up suddenly. "You say he took you from your apartment?"

I nodded.

"Hell, that's who hacked into the computer I bet."

I mulled that over as well.

"I bet he was the one who went to DeLuca's website also." He spoke as he browsed through his history.

"How disturbing…"

"Just, a little…bit." He finished. "Well, I'm glad you made it out of this…are your cop friends outside?"

"What?"

"The ones that were in front of your house- did they follow you here?"

I froze. To my recollection I hadn't even seen them.

Dr. Grant noticed my apprehension. "Christ on a crutch." He was full of expressions like that. Maybe it's a southern thing? He's originally from Tennessee.

"I think you need to call the Police Station…"

I thought about it for a minute. "Actually I think I'll pass."

"Jane, don't you piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'! You need to play it safe."

"If they're gone, they're either dead, or were called off by someone. That cop that was with Gordon worked for the Joker-I don't know who I can trust."

"Well, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know…maybe I'll go to the chop shop for a while…that always makes me feel better."

"You should at least call Commissioner Gordon. You said you could trust him."

"I suppose…maybe I just inadvertently evaded them?"

"Have Tony or whoever's at DeLuca's take you home. If they can't give you a lift, call me."

I laughed.

"I'm serious kid. You've got to be careful."

I nodded. "Alright, So, I guess this is goodbye for a while since the school's shut down?"

"No such luck, there's the Scholar's Colloquium banquet slash benefit this Thursday."

"They're still having it? After the bombings…?"

"Are you kidding? Nothing will stop these Yankees' and Yuppies from dressing up and drinking. No offense on the Yankee's part."

I shook my head and laughed. "What am I supposed to do?"

"What you always do, charm them with your cynical wit…and in the middle of it tell me I got an urgent message that my Mother is in the hospital…but there's an Opera so I'm not sure…it might be fun."

"Who's the singer?"

"Tonya von Dresner." He spoke through gritted teeth.

That was entertaining news. "Your ex-wife?"

"The one and only- I haven't seen her in a couple of years. It should be interesting."

"Sounds like it. Oh, hey do you have my purse?"

He pulled it out of his desk. "You have no right to call this a purse. It's a messenger bag. And it's heavy as hell…" He remarked. "I'll text you the details for the party. Now get out of here and go get some rest. You look like a strung out druggie."

"Gee thanks."

"It's not that bad but still…get some sleep!"

How I wished I could. Sleep was the foremost thought in my mind…well that and more food.

…

Tony was in the shop today. He was whistling up a storm. When he saw me, he started yelling things in his native tongue…Tony had a very profane vocabulary. As hard as I tried, I admit it sometimes rubbed off on me.

Tony mostly spoke English with Italian flair. What I mean by that is that he speaks English very fast, and very angrily. Everything is also a gesture or a movement. It's actually quite fascinating.

"Whyareyouheregetalifemygirl!" He threw his towel at me. "You are not to work today. Sal!" He called. "Jane is here because she doesn't have a life!"

Sal walked out and threw up his arms. "I guess you didn't get that dog."

I smiled. The normalcy was refreshing. For the first time in a couple days I was around people that didn't want to interrogate me about something. Thank goodness they hadn't heard about my escapades through the grapevine. But they obviously didn't need me to work today. I felt a little silly, and lame. I really didn't have a life.

"No, I'm just here to get some food. I'm all out of groceries." I quickly saved myself the embarrassment.

"What do you need my girl? Let us find you the best steak …" Tony started excitedly.

"Oh just chicken for now," Truthfully I'm not much of a steak eater.

"You're breaking my heart. Sal, do you hear what she says to me?"

Sal shook his head. "A butcher that doesn't like red meat, the shame."

"Good thing she makes good cuts, uh because otherwise…" He sighed. "Oh I don't know." He grabbed some chicken and began to prepare it. "You know your father never was one for the steak either. He thought it was unhealthy. He would always come in here _Oh Tony, I just want the chicken, or the pork, or the sausage…_ it must run in your family. He would have been proud you follow his traditions." He finished the chicken and bagged it for me. "Good, now get out of here. And don't come back tomorrow. You need sleep you look like a girl that…"

"Okay I get it…" I quickly stopped him. I didn't need another insult to my haggard appearance. "Thanks." I smiled.

"Anytime see you Wednesday!"

"Alright." I waved as I walked out the door. That was certainly a bust. I started walking in the direction of my apartment. I now had chicken that I either needed to freeze or cook…at least it wasn't a hot day. I much prefer the cold. It was also good the chicken wouldn't get warm on the commute home. I tried to keep my mind on these normal things…these normal things would help my mind from wandering to other dark corners…

-"Miss Archer!" A voice called from my left. I looked over to find the tan detective's car and two men sitting in it. I looked around for a second.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"It's our job to keep track of you."

_Job assigned by whom? _I silently wondered. "Okay." That was all I could say. I was really tired.

"Where are you headed?"

I didn't know if I should tell them. But they already knew where I lived. "Back home."

"Need a lift? You look like you're about to kill over."

I sighed. What tact…I was a little leery. I didn't know these men. And if they were following me why didn't they give me a ride at the school? But they were cops and Gordon had assigned them. There had to be some policemen that weren't crooked. "That would be nice." I nodded. The older one in the passenger's side got out and opened the door for me. He was probably in his fifties, his hair thinning just a little. But he was in pretty decent shape. The other was younger and far skinnier with jet black hair. So black, it was almost blue.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

"So, what are your names?"

The older one started. "I'm Michelson, this is Lee."

"Nice to meet you."

The commute was long, but it was much nicer to be in a car with a heater. I leaned my head against the window and closed my eyes briefly.

…

I didn't wake up by the arrival to my apartment. I woke up to a swift jerk of the car. I was jolted out of my rest. I looked around. We were in a parking garage. It was dark. I couldn't see anything but the time on the car stereo. "What's going on?" My eyes were adjusting a little bit more to the darkness. We were in the parking garage to my complex to be precise.

"We're going to walk you in your apartment. Make sure everything's clear." Michelson replied.

"What's with the erratic driving?"

Michelson quickly laughed my question off. "That's just Lee." They both got out of the car rather quickly. Michelson opened the door for me. I thanked him and we started walking-briskly. I got the impression that Lee was no nonsense. He wasn't much for conversation. All I'd gotten from him was a scoffing sort of gesture as he glanced over. Geez…

We were on our way until I remembered I'd forgotten my sack. "I'm so sorry," I apologized as I twirled around towards the car. "I forgot my poultry."

Lee let out an exaggerated sigh. "You're kidding me right?"

I gave him a weird glance.

"Take it easy Lee." Michelson laughed a bit. "That's fine; we'll go get her poultry."

"I'll go with her." Lee interjected. "You can go on ahead and sweep the apartment." He spoke begrudgingly. This guy needed to lighten up. "Have to call the wife anyway…"

Michelson nodded. "Keep an eye on him…and tell him to stop stressing about everything" He winked at me, but that last part seemed to be directed at Lee. It must have been an A and B conversation. I nodded assuredly.

Lee was silent on the walk back to the car. His stride was a little fast I had to work at it to keep up with him. He was exceedingly buff and I'll bet you could've bounced a quarter off his perfectly starched pants that I was checking out a little too much. I tried to look away. "So, how long have you and Michelson been partners?"

"Six years." He answered swiftly and dryly. Okay, I got the hint. I didn't ask any more questions. Well, that and the fact that we got to the car. He unlocked it and I crawled in the back to grab my sack of chicken. I said thank you but Lee held his hand up for me to be quiet. He was already on the phone. I complied and sat back in the seat.

"Yes, we got the …. Uh-huh then the other job. No, no we didn't…" This did not sound like a conversation between a husband and wife. "…Alright we'll leave it then check back." He hung up. He seemed more at ease now. He turned back to me. "You need to give us a schedule, and let us know if you're going somewhere." He scolded. I was dead wrong. Apparently he was _more _on edge.

"I didn't realize."

"You didn't realize that we're trying to protect you? And that your life is in our hands?"

I was a little taken aback. "I'm truly sorry to be an inconvenience, I…" My begrudged apology was cut short by a gunshot that suddenly echoed through the garage.

Lee pulled out his gun. "Shut the door and get down." He commanded. I quickly shut the back door and sort of leaned into the floorboard. He pulled up his radio. "Michelson? Michelson?" He threw the radio when he didn't get a response. "He's not answering. Alright here's what we're going to…" A bullet came in his window and hit him in the throat. His head fell to the right on the consul. I stayed completely still for a few seconds. I was afraid to even look in the direction of where the bullets came from. I needed to figure out what to do and fast. I peered over into the passenger seat where his hand had landed. I saw his gun. As quick as I could, I reached and pulled it from his hand. I wasn't very versed in the art of firearms, but I knew how to use one. I took the safety off and lowered it beside me.

It was about then when Lee pulled his torso and head up. He was coughing up blood. A good deal of it projected onto the steering wheel. He grabbed his throat and turned back to me. He had a hole in it that made it difficult for him to talk.

"Okay?" He asked coarsely.

I nodded. "I need to get you to a hospital."

Lee shook his head. "I'm dead, dying…and we're in too deep."

It seemed a lot of Gotham's police were "in too deep." There went my theory that they were decent cops…"In too deep? With what?"

His teeth protruded. He was trying to say something his mouth wasn't allowing. "Ch…Chechnya's."

"Mob gangsters?"

He nodded slowly. "Not involving you."

"We really need to get to the hospital…can you…" I closed my eyes and swallowed. "Can you move to the passenger seat?"

-"It's too late for him."

I jumped out of my skin. I turned to the window. Guess who was looking in towards me?

I didn't have much time to process. A bullet whirred through the window behind me and out the other where the Joker was standing. He moved over a step and it barely missed him. Then he ducked down. "Open the door doll."

"Nnn…No." Lee started. His hand reached back towards me but blood started dripping from his neck. He moved it back.

"You brought her into this mess. I'm just trying to get her out of it." He reprimanded Lee. Then he turned his attention to me. "You want to sit there and wait to get shot?"

I was at a crossroads…and I really didn't want to be. Did I stay and try to save Lee or did I leave him in attempts to save my own skin which would once more put me in cohorts with the Joker? That was a stupid question. "I'm staying." I told him then turned back to Lee.

"I cannot stress how much you need to get out of that car. There is a sniper and he is trigger happy."

Lee looked at me and nodded. Or I think he nodded. I hope that wasn't something I imagined to make myself feel better. But sure enough, his arm slid to the side of the door and unlocked it for me. "Go, keep the gun, and then run." He coarsely whispered.

I shook my head. "No, this isn't right…I" Another bullet flew in, this time, it went through his temple. I flew into the back seat, shaking while I did. Joker opened the unlocked door and pulled me. My legs gave out a little as they hit the concrete. He grabbed me under my arms and drew me up. "Easy now,"

"What are you doing here?"

"Saving your skin- Don't just get in a car with strangers you don't know!" He scolded as he pulled us behind a concrete pillar a few cars away.

"What can I say? I'm all about putting myself in dangerous situations uninten-." I was stopped by his gloved hand clamping itself over my mouth.

"Don't take this the wrong way," He whispered into my ear. "It's just, this wouldn't look good on my part…saving a life instead of taking one." He removed his hand but kept his arm wrapped around my upper chest as he stood behind me.

"What is this, payback?"

"It's all in good fun." He was still whispering. "But this deal here I don't exactly know what's going on…I just know it doesn't involve you or you'd have a bullet in the head and not those two cops."

"He, the cop said something about Chechnya…Chechens?" Why was I telling him this?

"Oh the Chechen?" He pleasantly voiced as he took the gun from my hand. "Stay here." He whispered and forcefully kissed my cheek. "I'll be right back."

"What are you doing?"

"He and I have unfinished business."

"You're just going to leave me without a weapon?" I blurted.

"Don't you have my knife?"

I pursed my lips. I'd totally forgotten about it. And no, it was in my apartment. I stayed behind the pillar and took a deep breath. I could hear Joker's footsteps. They were loud and unapologetic. That seemed to match him very well.

A few moments later I heard voices. One was the Joker's. Another was thick and foreign-sounding. I'm horrible with accents, but context clues told me it was Chechen…duh.

I couldn't make out anything from the discussion...but my vision was getting progressively better. I could see an exit about fifty yards away. I wondered if I could make it. But was it worth it? Where would I run to my apartment? The police station? These all were very unwanted dilemmas. Joker seemed to want to keep me safe for now. Maybe it was best if I stuck with him for the moment? I mentally scolded myself. I had once again left the chicken in the cop car. Not that it mattered all things considered… The good news was I had my purse hanging on me and my keys were on my belt loop. I squinted towards the exit. We were on the fifteenth level. My car was on the seventeenth. The exit was close, I could probably make it. If I stayed in the shadows no one would see me.

My semi-existential crisis was put on hold by gunshots; three of them to be exact. They were followed by someone running off and someone who was…skipping?

I couldn't take it anymore. I made a run for it. It was still really dark. But I could see the exit sign. It was getting closer very quickly. I made it in a few seconds. I moved my hands around to find the handle, and I pulled. I pulled as hard as I could but something was preventing it from opening- Something that was now pushing on my feet.

"What are you doing?" Joker was right behind me now.

"What?" I turned around. "I'm trying to get out of here."

"You were going to _leave _me?" It was more of an accusation than a question.

I swallowed. "Yes…But obviously there's some kind of thing blocking the door."

"You mean the cop?"

"What?" I looked down. Michelson was lying on the ground. He'd been the obstruction. "Oh God," I lowered my head, I felt as if I was going to be sick. I caught my hands on my knees as I leaned over. I closed my eyes.

"There, there..." He patted my back. "There's no use crying over dead cop."

"Did you kill him!" I yelled a little bit. I was wired. I could see everything clearer now, that wasn't a good thing. Lots and lots of blood…

He shook his head. "No, the Chechen's had some conflict with those cops you were with…laudi daudi da…I took care of it though. They won't be coming back here. It actually worked out rather well for me…my being here."

"I don't understand."

"Neither do I." He draped his arm around my shoulder and urged me to start walking with him. "Oh the perils of this day in age we live in."

"I mean, you killed the Chechen's?"

"Yeah. Well, all but their leader. I let him run off. I might need him in the future."

"You said you didn't!"

"Nooo, I said I didn't kill the cop."

"Oh well then that's okay I guess."

"See, everything worked out."

"I was being sarcastic."

"Oh course you were…you're so full of spirit!" His head turned as the sound of sirens echoed.

"They're always ruining the fun. Say Janie, you got a car?"

I sighed.

He tilted his head. "Where is it?"

"I don't want to go anywhere."

"Well we can't stay here. I don't think this is a good neighborhood at the moment. Where are your keys?"

I shook my head. "Can't I just stay here?"

"Oh, don't you want to see where I live?"

I was mildly curious. Mildly, but I'd never ever voice that out loud. However, I'd already fell into this odd journey, it was only bound to go deeper and get weirder and weirder.

He had been searching through my purse. I had wandered off into my mind, I didn't really notice. "Welcome back." He took my keys from my belt loop and jingled them as he grabbed my hand. "Come on."

We took the elevator to my parking level. He pushed the panic button on my keyless entry in effort to find my car faster. "There we go." We walked towards the car. He opened the passenger door for me. "I'm not trying to be sexist Janie; you just don't know where we're going."

…

His driving was pretty normal considering. That was a little surprising. Though I suppose everything with him would be unpredictable.

"This is a nice car." He started as we reached the first level. "What's it called?"

"A Chevy Malibu,"

"What year is it?"

"2010."

"Did you buy it with the money you made from being a butcher?"

"Yes."

"Well, that and your job at the college."

"That's right." I looked around at my car. The truth was I was rarely in it. I only really drove it when I went out of town…which was practically never. Finding parking anywhere in Gotham was simply out of the question. It was better to commute-better and cheaper.

"Which one do you like best?"

"Which one of my jobs do I like best?"

"Uh-huh."

"I like them both. I guess," I'd never really considered that question before. "I like…" I was going to talk about my relationship with Dr. Grant, and how I enjoyed conversing with him and what a good mentor he was. But it didn't seem wise to talk about other people…people I cared about. "I guess I like the chop shop most."

Joker laughed. "The chop shop- The butchers shop?"

"Yes," I paused for a moment. I was going to regret this. "What do you like most about your job?"

He seemed to have a hard time with this question. I understood that being he probably didn't have a reason for what he did. It was probably more of a compulsion.

"Why do you ask, trying to analyze me?"

"No, I just don't feel it's fair."

"Fair for whom?"

"Well both of us…" Here I was again, getting myself in deeper. "If we're going to get to know each other it has to go both ways."

He was surprised by this, I could tell. He turned his head to look at me. This was a tender moment. Well, tender for him and perilous to me. It was dangerous because it was then I could see the loneliness in his eyes-something I could easily identify with.

"Butchery-" He answered my question I'd forgot I asked.

"Huh?"

"The trade of a butcher Janie we're both butcher's see, we like to cut things."

"I don't think I'd enjoy cutting people up."

"Why not? It's the same thing except you actually separate the slices and pack it all up."

"You like to flay people?"

"Well, perhaps I'm exaggerating. I guess I prefer the stabbing. I'm no sicko. I don't want to eat them or anything…speaking of which- Who thought that it'd be alright if we ate cows?" He laughed. "I've never looked at a live cow and found it particularly appetizing…have you?"

"I don't know. I really only see them when they're dead."

"I guess that could change one's perception."

"It's still not that appetizing."

"But you can tell the beef…whether its quality meat or not?"

"Yes, I couldn't at first. But I learned with time." We were already a couple blocks away from my apartment. Three police cars sped by in the opposite direction.

"Hmm, wonder where they're going?" He smacked his lips.

"You know basically every time you show up I end up having to explain myself to the cops."

"This is only our second official date. I feel like two times doesn't exactly signify a trend."

"I'm already under close watch…I mean those cops were outside my house and…"

"Think about it; do you really even care they're dead?"

"Well, I didn't know them but…"

"But what? But you've been told you have to show remorse for things like that?"

"There you go, trying to manipulate my reason."

"And there you go again trying to resist me helping you."

"Help me?"

"You think you're…perfectly content don't you? Just, going through the motions day after day? Don't you ever do what you want?"

"I want to do the things I do. I like my job and…"

"You like your job at the school?"

"Well, parts of it yes."

"Why would you do something you only half enjoy?"

"Not everything is about me."

"I'm not talking about egotistical, selfish pursuits. I'm talking about what is logical."

"Logical? There's nothing logical about what you do."

"Of course it's logical."

"Do explain."

"There is no order. Everything is in disarray. The Cosmos, the universe, our little world…it's all a big string of nothing. We live in an aesthetic of decay Janie. We build civilizations just to see them fall. All we have is this single chance, this one stream of consciousness. These brief few years is all we get. Right now, you and I, we're in our prime. In twenty or thirty years however, the fun will all be over doll. So, with that, I ask again; why do something you only half enjoy?"

"What about religion? What about ethics and morals?"

"All made up by human temporality." He shook his head and dismissed my words. "It makes us… feel better that we can pretend to be enlightened beings."

"You haven't even given any of it a chance?"

"Sure I've read and studied. I'm not going to pledge my life to something without making an educated decision."

"I wasn't doubting you're intelligence."

"Aww."

"I just…" I was going into some dark waters here. There was no way I'd get anywhere in this discussion without going somewhere I didn't want to go. He had such a bleak outlook because he had to of had a horrid past. I did not want to get into that. In fact, I still couldn't believe why I was getting into any of it. I was having an existential conversation with him…very sound and reasonable. If he wasn't who he was, he had some valid points. Though, if he wasn't who he was, he'd have some code of morals or ethics.

"So what do you believe in Janie?"

"I believe," I paused for a moment. That was a loaded question. "I believe we should all strive to do our best."

"I do my best."

"I mean…our best to be good, to be decent."

"And why is that?"

"It's…"

"If you're going to bring me over to your side, you might want to state your case."

"Okay, let's say you're right. Let us say that nothing is certain, everything is chaos and we're just floating in this random stream of consciousness."

"Uh-huh?"

"Why would we not try to be the best we can be? We all have a light and dark, this internal struggle. Sure it's in our nature to question. And maybe you're right, maybe it is all random. But I'll be damned if I don't defy that notion and fight it. Like any other stupid, stubborn human, I want to matter."

"But it doesn't. None of it matters."

"Then I'll die having wasted my life. So be it…but I want to live…live and love."

"Are you saying I'm not capable of love?"

"You don't think anything matters."

"Right now matters. It matters we enjoy it."

I decided to keep quiet. This was the strangest conversation I'd ever had…either the strangest or the most interesting.

"Well that was fun." He decided. "I hear your point doll but still reject it. But I do so with the utmost respect for you personally. To each his own…that's what I always say."

"Really?" I asked incredulously.

"No…but in your case I'll make an exception… for now."

That was uncomfortable. I needed to change the subject. "Why were you in the parking garage?"

"I was…" He reached into his lapel. "Bringing you your mix tape." He handed me a CD. It was plain silver inside a paper covering. It had my name on it written in a red sharpie. Well, with his personally added "ie" to my name. I was at a loss for words.

"Should we… listen to it?"

He shot me a bewildered look. "Not while I'm here! How embarrassing! Talk about awkward."

I took a breath. "Why is it…?" I stopped.

"Why what?"

"I don't understand what you want with me."

"I'd think my wearing cologne would've given it away." He straightened his tie in the mirror.

"I'm not having sex with you."

"Geez Janie! Show some propriety. Not on the second date, that's just tacky." He took a beat… "Unless you're…"

"So that's it then? You just want to date me?"

"I like you. I've said this before."

"I don't understand why…"

"Please…let's not be modest…especially after propositioning me."

"I was _not_ propositioning you."

"You took my knife." Now he was changing the subject.

"It was, just to protect myself…you took my watch."

"And I'm still wearing it." He jiggled his arm. Where is my knife?"

"It's at my apartment."

"Obviously I have more regard for your watch than you do my knife. What does that say about you as a person?"

"It doesn't say anything."

"It's a nice knife."

"You can have it back."

"Keep it for a while."

"I don't need it."

"You might…"

I looked at the time. It was already late afternoon. Where had the day gone? And more importantly where had my mind gone? I tried to reason with myself and say it was outside my control. That's when I realized he didn't have the gun out anywhere in sight. As far as the police would see it…this was a voluntary joy ride. That was kind of the truth; he certainly wasn't interested in hurting me at the moment.

"Oh God." I sunk my head in my lap.

"What's wrong Janie?"

"I'm going to jail." I sat up. "That's what."

"You're not going to jail." He dismissed playfully.

"Those cops are dead; more are at my apartment complex right now wondering what happened. I'm missing, my car is missing."

"So? You went out."

"But my poultry…it's in the back of the squad car."

"So what? They don't know it's yours."

"They'll put two and two together. It's from the butcher shop I work at. And I should have called the police."

"Oh I get it…you want to spend time with me but you want to keep up the whole "I'm innocent" façade."

"I don't … I don't want,"

"I appreciate your stopping yourself. From what I've gathered about you…you're a pretty atrocious liar."

The traffic was backed up being it was time for everyone to get off work. We were surrounded by dozens of yellow cabs and work trucks. I looked around. I was amazed no one seemed to notice him driving though my windows are pretty tinted. We were on the Southeast side now, near the narrows' bridge. He pulled into a parking garage. This one only had about twenty levels…but it seemed we kept circling and circling up to the top. Finally he stopped and parked it in a slot.

"We'll have to stay here for a while. Make sure everything is A-Okay."

"Don't you have like, things to do? I mean… anarchical type things?"

He smirked. "Bombing your school wasn't enough excitement? I haven't seen you since yesterday morning. I've had plenty of time to handle other…things" He wiggled his tongue. "I'm an excellent multi-tasker."

"I just thought you'd be busy plotting or…"

"What's the matter? I'm not maniacal and daft enough for you?"

"Please don't think I have any expectations of you…of any kind. I guess I just presumed you'd be different."

"What can I say? You seem to have a palliative effect on me."

"I didn't think I'd get along with you so well." I clenched my lips. That should have been inner monologue.

"Janie, Janie, Janie…"

I didn't want to go to his place, whatever or wherever it was. I didn't need to. If I was too complacent with his company I was fooling myself. There was a chance I would never come out if I went in. (Both his apartment and these little conversations we were having) I assumed we were close to where he lived. I'd never come out alive, or he'd never be out of my life. I'd already accompanied him this far without him actually threatening me. I was starting to lose my grip on truth. He was a killer. However he acted with me now was irrelevant. And if he was a killer that made me one of those stupid women that have relationships with psychopaths in lock-up. They would interview me on television fifteen some years later. I'd move to some hot and dry climate to be closer to the prison they kept him in like Arizona. Or I'd move downtown near Arkham. I'd take up chain smoking and habitually drink white zinfandel from a box. I'd keep the letters he wrote me in a fireproof case. It would be bedazzled and say "Joker and Jane" on it. Dear Lord…

"Joker…!"

"What?"

"I can't do this."

"What are you talking about?"

"I want to go home."

He squinted his brow.

"I will not use a bedazzler!"

He laughed. "I'm an out there guy, but I have to admit I don't follow your logic."

"Take me home."

"We've driven all this way and you're changing your mind?"

"I see where this is going and I don't like it."

"My place isn't that messy."

"That's not what I mean. Look, just let me go. I won't lie I had…" I closed my eyes. "I do enjoy your company in a strange-effed up way. But now it has to end."

"Oh, stop being so scared."

"No, no I need to be afraid. I need to be cognizant of what I'm doing."

"You're just afraid of what everyone will think."

"That's a part of it." I nodded. "But that's justifiable."

"Arrugh!" He growled. "Fine, then I can do it…I can play your game."

"Game?"

"Listen," He moved my hair behind my ear. "You like me, I can tell."

"I don't."

"Oh yes you do. You've got…"

"A peculiar way, you've told me."

"Yes but that's not what I was saying. "You've got to stop all this nonsense with worrying about others attitudes about you."

"I'm sorry that's just…"

"I realize you're not ready. But I can work with that. I can play along."

"I don't understand."

"I can be the big bad wolf. And you can be…Little Red Riding Hood." He suggested excitedly. "And you won't even need the cape, you've got the hair. We'll make it look like you're unwilling…like you don't want to see me." He turned and sat correctly in the chair. He was mainly talking to himself now. "Yeah, I can do that for a while, I can do that for now."

"Except I won't be playing because I really don't want to be…"

"Hold on now Red, you'll ruin my great plan…" He seemed to be working it all out in his mind. The nervous and dangerous energy was returning to his person. It was almost a visible transformation. "I'll even let you pick. How would you like me to steal you next time?"

"What? No, I don't want you to…"

"Fine, it'll be a surprise."

"Joker…I don't want to do this."

"Oh it will be fun. Even advantageous, we can get the Batman involved…Gordon. We'll bring the whole team back together. You'll be the distraction. You'll help distract them while I do other things." He nodded.

"No." That brought me over the edge. "First them now you? I refuse to be everyone's pawn!"

He shot me a glance. "What are you talking about?"

_Fuck. _That was pretty stupid. I wondered if I should take an acting class just to work on keeping my composure…to not out myself alone in a car with him.

"I can't help but feel there's something you're not telling me."

I shook my head.

"Janie?"

I sighed. "I told them it wouldn't work."

"Told who what wouldn't work?"

"They wanted me," My eyes shot up to the ceiling. "They knew you'd come see me again."

"Obviously you mean the police."

_And Batman. _"Yes."

"What did they want you to do?"

"Me? Nothing. They wanted me to do nothing, to just sit and wait until they could use me to get to you."

"Well you wouldn't do that."

I laughed. "I'd be crazy not to."

"You're not crazy. You and me, we just speak the same language."

"I'm not sure that's true."

"Oh Janie," He turned his body to face me again. "You're just weary. You're all confused about the world." He took my chin and softly turned it to him. "Look, I'm sorry to of made you feel like a pawn. You're not a pawn; you're the, the girl…my girl. I'll take care of your…poultry was it?"

I moved my head back. His fingers slid off my chin. Our faces didn't need to be anywhere close to each other. "My poultry in the backseat of the cop car?"

"Hold on please…" He pulled out his phone. To be honest, I was genuinely surprised he had one. It had to of been prepaid…I watched with great interest.

"Good afternoon," He paused and waited for a response. He made a gesture with his hands to me showing how the person would not stop yapping. "Yes…now be quiet while I tell you what to do…"

…

I assumed he was talking to a cop, because a few minutes later the cop called him back. I'm assuming to say that my poultry was no more.

"Easy as that Janie." He shut his phone. "No one even knows you were there. Security footage is missing- thanks to the Chechens. And those two cop buddies of yours were into some very seedy dealings. Apparently they'd never reported they'd had you with them. So, you're free and clear."

I hung my mouth open for a moment. "I'm…" I was actually relieved. Things actually felt semi-normal…well except for being with him.

"Thanks, I guess."

He made this laugh/growl sound. "Now that you're a liberated lady and all you should really come inside."

"I told you, I don't want to continue this."

"That's the thing about you girls, you say one thing but you…mean another."

"I'm saying this in self-preservation."

"You're killing me Janie."

"Look, seriously I was honest with you. I do feel some…I've enjoyed your company. I just don't want to continue it."

"I've been watching your lips while you've been talking. They're so, cute when they're trying so cautiously to push out the right words."

"Okay, you need to leave."

"Leave? This is my complex."

"Well, this is my car." I turned back to him. His head was relaxing on the headrest. His playfulness and calm demeanor is what seemed to get me. I wanted to stay. I wanted to see his crazy apartment which was most likely horrifying. I wanted to laugh and talk about the uptight party I'd have to go to in a few days. All of this came about because I'd had a moment- a moment when I saw my likeness in his eyes. I'd saw the isolation in them. I'd seen the frustration and disdain for everything and everyone else. We'd connected. That had never happened to me before. This would not end well…

"You do that a lot." He commented.

"Do what?"

"You go somewhere." He surmised. "You're mind just-wanders off!" He laughed. "It's okay I like it…I get to stare at you and you don't seem to notice."

"I have a lot on my mind…But speaking of which, I'm not changing it. I'm not going to keep on seeing you."

"Oh Red, what big lies you have."

"You need to get out."

"I see this isn't going anywhere today…Especially not to my apartment."

"It's not."

"Hum-a-dee-hum-a-dee-hum-a-dee-hum…the things I do for you, Janie." He opened the driver's door and got out.

I wasted no time. I slid over and shut the door. He turned around and opened it back up. He took a knee grabbed the left lapel of my jacket and my right leg. He swung me towards him.

"You know," He swallowed and spoke in a lowered tone. "I'm usually not this calm."

"I wouldn't think so."

"You'd think right …" He tousled with my hair a bit. I tensed up. I was ready to get away because I was feeling things I didn't need to be.

"I don't know what it is about my Janie-girl but we're going to figure it out."

"Look, I already told you, don't..."

"That's alright, it's…alright." He slid his gloved hand down my cheek. The thick rubber was a strange sensation. "We know she's not ready, you're not ready. You'll change your mind!" He nodded repeatedly and assuredly.

I was itching to leave. I needed to leave.

"You will," He slid my legs and coat back in the car. "Just listen to the mix-tape." With that, he slammed the door shut. I immediately pushed down the lock. I took a glance in the rearview mirror but I couldn't see him. He'd disappeared just as suddenly as he showed up earlier. I started the car and put on my seatbelt. I took a glance at the CD sitting in the center cup holder. Having any kind of liaison with him was a horrible, nay a morbid and hopeless idea. I wouldn't just give in… But the CD- that was just too tempting. I'd wait until I was over a few blocks to put it in. I wouldn't let him see that I was so eager. But I had to know. We've all heard the saying: _Curiosity killed the cat. _I heard a great rebuttal for that in a book once: _Satisfaction brought him back._ And I am a great music lover…

It was starting to snow again. I turned my wipers on low. Like I said, I rarely drove in the city. It would take a long time to get back to the apartment. That was probably a good thing. Even though Joker covered up the fact I was involved in the parking garage incident; it still was fishy. Commissioner Gordon wasn't an idiot. I'd have to create an alibi for myself. It suddenly hit me. The solution was simple. I'd get groceries! I needed them and it was a legitimate excuse. I was extremely hungry. They say you shouldn't shop while you're hungry but I figured I could make an exception.

-Want to hear what was on the mix tape he gave to Jane? - Well I did that's why I created a link for it on my profile…enjoy


	4. Rocket Science

**Chapter Four: Rocket Science**

**-This chapter was inspired by the song "Rocket Science" by The Pimps- Do check it out!(if you want) I'll put a link on my profile **

I had things I needed to catch up on. She's quite the diversion. Her words-all the small little gestures…they get all twisted up in my head. She's like a plant, a vine- A vine that takes over everything and chokes the other plants. In this case, those other plants were all the things I needed to think about and get done. She still gets herself all worked up about the most trivial things. Her stressors are all based on circumstance and the opinions of others. Poor thing, but I'm confident all of that nonsense will soon change. She'll come around. She's really above all that drivel. This connection of ours- It's a mutual understanding, esteem if you will. I get her. I see her. She does the same with me but is just too startled to express it. It's not often someone tunes into my station. But Janie, she knows what the psychiatric community has taken years on and off trying to comprehend. It's not like it's hard. I don't hide who I am. I hate that air of mystery people try to falsely obtain. They pretend to be so layered. They live under layers and layers of naught. They like to pretend they're mysterious, yet they flaunt themselves around. I get it, people want attention. But I'm so sick of those who try to be special. Most of them aren't. But she's not like that. Janie's the opposite. She tries her best not to draw attention. She doesn't want you to know it but there's a mystery there. There's actually something stimulating…She has the makings of a cold hearted drifter type. There's a hint of schizoid personality disorder- the loner in there too. Problem is she doesn't fully fit the mold of that because she feels. Oh she feels. It's a complicated and thoroughly captivating case this one. I'll get back to you soon with my results…

Apparently I'm not the only one who has noticed her. She caught the attention of the Commissioner, and even Batman. She didn't tell me about his little middle of the night visit. She's a better liar than she thinks. It only works though when she's casual about it. That's pretty much her in a nutshell…ha-ha. She's calm and casual most of the time as long as she doesn't have to make up something. She has no problem leaving things out. Yeah Bats apparently came to see her. I heard Gordon talking to his new Lieutenant about it over the radio on their own little channel…I don't know why cops still use that… The Lieutenant and his partner are the new cops that are parked in front of her complex by the way. He seems at odds with all cops except Gordon. He's what they might call a "good cop." He and Gordon talk on their own frequency…I wonder how long he'll remain in that "good cop" category? Apparently Bats didn't get any new information from her. They're using her to try to "get to me." It won't work. She already slipped and told me about it. I don't like when they use people. I use people to make a point but I don't use them to get to others or to get info. Well, that's a complete lie. I do it all the time. But I don't like that they're trying to use her. She's not a pawn, she's not their little informant…she's not theirs! It's a good thing she's too smart for them. It's a good thing she has a hot little temper. She wasn't taken with the man in black. She likes men that wear color, men that don't hide behind a black cloak. She likes me.

Listen to me gushing… I've already gone off in my head about her again…but who can blame me? Well, no one since I'm alone. And I'd definitely give anyone that wanted to blame me a piece of my mind…Just not the piece where I think about her… But I needed to work. Focus, focus… A new problem had recently come to my attention- a copycat. I didn't know who he was. But it was all over the news last night. He'd killed a couple of women outside of a night club. When he was done with them he painted them up to look like me. They had smeared black around their eyes and red lipstick across their faces. Ugh, I get that the guy wants to kill but he needs to be original. He left a little Joker's card and on the back wrote "whose next?" First of all… "Whose?" Was he serious? It's "who's." The second problem was that he was holding a third one for ransom. He'd released a video to the news around the same time they found the bodies. She was tied up, all frightened and shaking. She was gagged and was holding cue cards. The first one read "who will pay my ransom?" She dropped it. The second one said "17,000 cash by midnight Thursday or I lose my life." The news went on to say that there was an address for the drop off for the money but police weren't releasing it. Good old media-they'd put up a video of a woman being held hostage but dismissed the notion anyone watching could possibly help. How comical…

This didn't make any sense. I get the fun of the mystery but why money? It's always about money for these people. Everyone always wants money. It's hilarious because it's so easily obtained. I don't understand how something so easily obtained can be such a precious commodity? Why not pursue something rare, something odd? - Something like a little red headed butcher. I have no patience for people with no ingenuity. I didn't like this one bit, it was embarrassing and sloppy. I never doddle over the details but this was absolute malarkey.

I had been so busy with blowing up the schools and making Janie's mix tape that I hadn't even noticed this had transpired. Someone was trying to get my attention. Someone wanted something from me. The guy, this copycat was a ghost. He didn't go on camera in the video. In fact, the video barely had any sound aside from the girl whimpering. Which should have been another clue it wasn't me…I'm in my videos. I watched it a few times. She was looking around in various directions. This led me to believe that there was more than one person in the room when they taped it.

Things weren't adding up. I have a theory about this though- my copycat doesn't exist. Well, he exists but he's deliberately being a mimic. This is just a method to draw me out. Who would want to draw me out? Well, lots of people. I certainly have more enemies then friends. This was most likely orchestrated by the mob. I'd have to be more specific. But I was pretty sure that's what it was. I made a few adversaries by burning up all that money-that and not killing Batman. After all, that's what they'd hired me for. But I couldn't kill Bats. They were boring and he was interesting. They were too scared to outwardly challenge me. That's why they hired whoever this guy was. There was the odd chance it could also be some crazy, someone trying to get my attention out of affection. But I doubted it. I wasn't amused either way. There could be other villains, there could even be other clowns but there could only be one of me. Anyone that wasn't a complete idiot could see inconsistencies. I've never asked for money from the public. It wasn't their pocketbooks I wanted. I wanted them to open their eyes and see. Maybe I had too much faith that the public would see past this though…People liked to compartmentalize things too much. It's the only way their small minds can make sense of things. Everything had to go into little boxes; everything had to be understood to go in their little drawers or compartments. Things aren't that simple. There's always a bigger picture. There is an undying energy that is existence. It can't be understood as one thing. It certainly can't be organized. It is chaos. It exists. It's energy. It's simply happening. But I digress…or do I? What Gotham must think of me now they've seen this little news reel… My goodness I probably look like a softy. That won't do. I had a repute to uphold. I didn't really care…but then again I did. But if this indeed was a trap I'd have to be covert in my investigation because the objective of this little project was most likely my head on a platter or plate, whichever.

The easiest route would be to get info from the police. There were plenty of mob informants working as policeman. I had a several contacts in all the departments. The problem with them was that they were my contacts via the mob bosses. They wouldn't give me much info being their bosses were the ones trying to off me. I could infiltrate the policemen. I could get info and such, but I had a little trouble finding recruits that were my own that could actually make it as law enforcement. See my guys usually had a bit of a background working against the cops. And for this I'd have to use my own guys and get to the bottom of this a different way.

I'd take care of the mob…whoever it was particularly…or all of them. I didn't care. They needed to be brought down a notch. While I did that someone else could find my impersonator. I had just the man for the job. I'd ask Blaine. Blaine was the most dependable crazy I'd ever worked with. He was a devout religious nut. He was into whipping himself and stuff like that. He had marks all over his body-mainly his back and shoulders from various leather belts or whips. Blaine had this compulsion for killing cops and all types of law enforcement. He believes them all to be crooked and corrupt. In Gotham, he was half right, but singling out one profession of people to kill just isn't just. That and he only kills when encouraged. Blaine disciplines himself for these homicidal acts by whipping his body. It's pure masochism if you ask me but I don't think he's asking. And as long as he does what I ask I really don't care.

I could usually find him at the big Catholic Church on 24th. This is because Blaine is a priest. His confessional was always empty. Most people would deliberately avoid him inside and outside of the confessional. You're not supposed to know who you're confessing to but people get wind of things. I didn't have that problem. I wasn't Catholic. Nor am I religious in any way. I wasn't afraid of the big, bad priest that was scary because of all his scars and creepy slit-like eyes. It was a quiet morning, about three. No one was around. I made it to the church and dropped my happy self into the confessional and started yapping.

"Forgive me father for I have sinned. When I was five I stole my father's wallet and snuck into a dirty movie. That's where I saw my first…"

"If you go that far back, we'll never get to the real reason why you're here." Blaine interjected- A priest who was a pragmatist go figure.

"I need your help getting some information."

Blaine sighed. I could see him through the flimsy screen. He was probably in his late forties. Well, if he was younger you couldn't tell. His scars were all over his face and body. They made him look like an aged meth addict with slightly effeminate features. Though I doubt he did drugs. His hair was pale orange and gray. He was balding a bit on the top. He was around 5'7, a little guy not that built and skinnier than a rail. Not a very attractive man, but unattractive men can serve their purpose. When not cloaked as a priest, he was quite the chilling figure. He looked too crazy for anyone to mess with. "What kind of information?" He asks me.

"There's a copycat out there. Someone is using my panache and killing some girls. I need you to figure out who it is and who hired them to do it."

"Why would I help you find some copycat?"

"I think the cops are behind it. They're trying to draw me out…" I paused. "By killing innocent girls…" It was easy to play on crazies' emotions. You just had to figure out what made them tick. The typical serial killer sees black and white. There is no room for the in-between. It's no different with this one. He saw policeman as evil and everyone else good. He didn't feel the need to justify killing them. He had no remorse for it. "Since you're so good at sniffing the cops out, I thought you perfect for the job."

"Swine," He seethed. "…The whole lot of them." He brought up his hand and pulled back the screen-no need for pretense anymore. "Do you know which ones did it?"

"Well I know they're working with a big crime syndicate somehow-one of the big families. You could get answers from them." It's funny he had no problem with organized crime.

"Those sinners, there's no hope for them. But the cops should know better. Judges 5:8 says – "When new gods were chosen, then war was in the gates. Was shield or spear to be seen among forty thousand in Israel?"

I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. I was bored. This was boring. I didn't understand why I needed to give someone I used as an informant so much information. It was a little redundant. I thought about Janie. I wondered what she was doing right now. I wanted to hang out with her. I wondered what she thought of my mix tape. She liked it. She'd probably give me an ambiguous answer when I asked her about it though. Janie sees a lot of grey and tries to handle life as such. That's good. It's only reasonable. I wouldn't say I saw things grey though, nor do I see them in black and white…maybe purple, red, or green.

I tried to picture in my mind what she looked like when she was working. She was undoubtedly sexy as a butcher- I could fancy her thrusting that cleaver up and down. She probably cut that meat into perfect little slices. Blood would be all over her gloves. She'd be tired from a long day's work. I could see strands of that angry red hair falling upon her face, trying to escape whatever she used to hold it back… I had to shake myself out of it. This was a church confessional I was sitting in. And the homicidal priest was asking me a question.

"Come again?"

"I said do you know where I need to go to get the info?"

"Yeah, there's this club, the girls were found outside of-GQ. It's owned by some Italians. They're the ones targeting…they're the ones working with the cops." Almost slipped there…

"The cops…they go to this club? The ones you think killed those girls?"

"That or the men they hired to kill those girls." I had to cover my tracks, because the cops most likely weren't involved in this. But Blaine didn't know that. His mind was too clouded with bloodlust. I could see it in his little beady eyes. The coercion was almost too easy. That's often true with serial killers. The urge to kill, it's like an unquenchable thirst. Killing a person will quell their darkness temporarily, but it will always return.

-Let me be clear; I'm not a serial killer. By definition I could be, but it's not that simple. In my formative years I studied book after book of psychology. I was sure I'd figure myself and everyone else around me out. Not to toot my own horn, but I've found out a long time ago that I'm a special case. It doesn't make me better it just makes me different. I don't have to kill if I don't feel like it. Or I can kill if I feel like it. It just so happens that most of the time I do simply because it's fun. It's a thrill, a gaff to break the mundane lull of the day-to-day. I have control over my impulses but I don't have control over what kind of mood I'll be in. Life is random and erratic. No one can predict what's going to happen. But I'm pretty good at guessing. Just like now, I'd assumed and guessed correctly that Blaine or _Father Blaine_ would be apt to helping me.

"I'll go tonight. Do you want me to call or text you to let you know what I find out?"

"I'll be close by if something goes awry-me and my men. We might even show up but naturally we won't be having a drink together. Contact me when you find something out."

"This night-club, it sounds expensive."

I rolled my eyes. Even the priest wants money! "I'll be sure to reimburse what you spend."

"Fine," He sat back upright on his wooden bench. "Say five our-fathers, and…"

I wasn't going to stay for him to finish. It was hypocritical for him to say that. Especially since he didn't let me voice my confession. People I tell you…

…

The snow from last night was all black and dirty now. The sky remained cloudy and kept all the cold in. Not that it would go away soon but the snow usually melted after a few days. It just remained there like a wet dog or blanket. It was like a reminder. It was worried we'd forget its eminent threat to snow hell of a lot more. We didn't need to be reminded of that…silly snow. This would be a bitter winter. How I loved it…

Like most mornings around four the trash men were making their rounds. I hitched a ride on the back of one for a few blocks. I popped off and headed back toward my place. It was too cold to be outside for extended amounts of time. Despite the temperature, I was all hot and bothered. It was so frustrating- I had all this stuff to do but when did I get a break? All work and no play make me a dull boy- and I only wanted to play with Janie. She wasn't at work, they weren't open yet. I changed my course and walked by to get a look at the place. An overweight Italian was there taking a shipment. I wasn't going to bother him. I have no qualms with the butcher. That is, unless he dated Janie or something but from the looks of it there was no way. And Janie might get mad if I did. She might be out of a job. And I really liked the idea of her being a butcher.

She wasn't at the school cause; well I blew it up and burned it down. She was most likely at home, at her apartment. It was still very early. She'd probably be in bed. I got around her neighborhood around five fifteen. The new cops were "guarding the outside." I'd have to go in somewhere other than the front. I slipped in the back of the parking garage. - I often rely on people's laziness. In this particular case, I assumed they hadn't reinstalled the security footage for the garage yet. I assumed correctly. I took the elevator to her floor, and walked right in. It was too easy. If there actually was a threat towards her, she definitely wasn't safe. The cops were lazy and stupid. Blaine wouldn't be happy. He'd probably kill the cops out front for being negligent, ha. That wasn't a bad idea…

I'd briefly forgotten which one was hers, then I remembered-27-6. I thought about knocking but she'd been stubborn last night with her trying to break up with me and all. She probably wouldn't answer and she possibly might alert the cops. I picked the lock and opened the door carefully. All the lights were out. It was pretty dark. The curtains were drawn and all I could hear was the hum of the heater. To the right was the kitchen and the left, the living room. It was nice and cozy- the kind of couch one could really relax on. Her bedroom was straight ahead. She had the door cracked open a bit, but mainly shut. I pulled it open and walked through.

Her bed was an amiable size, a full or a queen. I couldn't tell. She had this thick extremely cushy red comforter. Pillows were scattered everywhere. A yellow blanket was draped across it as well. It had a black frame- very stylish, very stylish indeed. Problem was she wasn't in it. I sat down on it for a second, how perplexing. Her bathroom was in her bedroom, and it was open with no sign of her there either. I walked to the window and peered outside. Her bodyguards were sitting there idly, none the wiser. Where had she gone? I'd say it was impressive she'd evaded the cops but, it's not like it's hard with Gotham's finest on the job…

I was a little heated. I was looking forward to seeing what she looked like sleeping…to see her hair all messy. I loved her hair. It was pretty every time I saw it. But every time it was also just a little bit disheveled…like supermodel-photo-sex-hair. She's confident enough where she doesn't try so hard, that's sexy. I took off my jacket and shoes and stretched out on her bed. It smelled good. It smelled like her-clean and sweet. Her heater kept her place warm. I clung to her soft comforter and closed my eyes.

…

I hadn't imagined it, her front door had opened and shut. I got up and sifted through the shadows of the apartment. It was dark, but I assume she was used to it because she didn't turn on any lights. She sat her keys on the counter and went to the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of water and took her hair down. It had been pulled back. She was wearing an army-green jacket. She really liked the color green- She'd obviously been working out. She had earphones on. I could hear the noise bleeding out from them.

I walked closer and the floor creaked. She wouldn't hear it. Well, that previous statement was wrong. She tensed up and grabbed a knife from her collection. There were several cutting knifes in a holder next to her stove. Okay it takes a lot to genuinely scare me but I swear I actually jumped a little. No lie- she took the knife and threw it in my direction like a ninja or something. I moved over in the nick of time. "Nick" really wasn't the word for it. More like jab. The knife landed firmly in the wall next to me. Poor wall…

"Who are you?" She demanded to know as she grabbed another knife and walked towards me.

"Did you sync the CD I made you onto your MP3 player?"

She evaded the question and put her earphones in her pocket. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to visit you."

"You weren't invited."

"It was a spontaneous visit."

She stared in silence for a second.

"You gonna put the knife down?" I laughed a bit. Maybe it wasn't good to laugh, but it's in my nature to laugh under several different circumstances.

A few seconds later she lowered it and put it back in its slot. She walked past me and yanked the other one from the wall.

"Where did you learn to do that? Some uh…" I fluttered my tongue. My mouth was suddenly very dry. "…Martial arts self-defense class?"

She sighed as she took her coat off. "Leave Joker, I'm tired."

What an interesting reason for me to leave…She didn't seem alarmed or fretful just annoyed. "If you're tired let's go to bed."

"You're not getting in my bed."

_I already had. _"Oh I see the temptation is just too great."

"Stop it; tell me why you're here."

"I've told you, I came to visit. If you're so tired why weren't you already in bed?"

She shrugged and sat on the couch. "I couldn't sleep."

This was interesting. "Got a lot on your mind Janie girl?" I propped next to her.

"Yes but," She stopped. This was getting easier. I'd already got down to the personal stuff. "Look, I don't need to discuss this with you…you have no right to be here leave."

"It's too late to act anxious now." I propped down beside her. "You're at least half excited to see me."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Look, I really do need to get some sleep. I have work tomorrow and I intend to spend today resting."

"You don't look tired to me."

She gave me a strange look, she even smiled slightly. It was the kind of smile you like to get from a woman. "That's weird because everyone…" She shook her head. "Never mind… get out."

I growled a bit. "Oh come on, what if I don't have anywhere else to go?"

"That's not my problem."

"Ouch, aren't we cold and heartless. What about brotherly love?"

"I think that's Philadelphia."

"And this is Gotham?" I laughed. "Is that you're point?" I moved a little closer. "Well, at least we agree we're all morally bankrupt."

"I'm not morally bankrupt; I'm just not going to let you stay here. If a little puppy was in my apartment I might feel differently."

"Fine, fine, I'll leave you be."

She nodded. "Thank you."

I went to her room and got the yellow blanket and a pillow. I brought it back into the living room. She eyed me curiously. "What are you doing?"

"You told me to go."

"I meant leave entirely."

"Oh, you're just trying to keep a strong resolve. I'll stay out here for now."

"Haven't we been through this?"

"Yes," I simply replied. "So what did you think of the mix tape?"

"Don't try and change the subject."

"It was worth a shot."

"Leave."

"You're crossing your arms in an attempt to show me you are closed off. But it's all about the body language-so unnatural. I'm telling ya, you don't want me to leave."

"Must you try to read into everything?"

"Sure I do. That is until you start being honest with yourself. No one knows I'm here. The cops are pretty inept if they didn't even check in to see if you were gone…Now, is it really going to kill ya to spend some time with me?"

"That's a feasible assumption." She got up and started pacing. Janie was all worked up again.

My response was stopped by a knock on the door. – "Miss Archer?"

Janie looked through the peephole. She cursed under her breath. I looked through. It was one of the cops supposed to look after her. Well, talk about irony. She looked at me. I started to laugh but she shook her head.

"No!" She mouthed.

"Miss Archer?"

Janie grabbed my hand and pulled me back into her bedroom. "Oh so now I'm allowed back here?" I voiced as I was pushed into the bathroom.

"Just, stay here and don't make any noise?" She whispered as she started to take off her clothes.

I tilted my head. I was both excited and confused. "What are you doing?"

"Just a second…" She called to the policeman and started taking her pants off. She was standing right in front of me.

"He's going to come in here and check the apartment." She reached to turn the shower on.

"How do you know?"

"The only time they come up is to check the apartment."

"What, so we're going to take a shower?"

"No, I'm going to make it look like I was." And there went her shirt…it was replaced with a towel that wrapped around her. She was wearing a nice black bra whose straps were lowered and tucked into the towel. It was all I could do not to grab her and…"He won't check in the bathroom because he'll be distracted. You have to get in the shower and hide."

"Such tenacity! Have you done this before?" I was thoroughly charmed.

"No, I'm just not about to take any chances." Janie took another towel and wrapped her hair in it. "Now get in the shower." She started for the door. I took her arm to stop her and turned her towards me.

"If you don't want to; take your chances of jumping out the window." Her voice was indifferent. She stared me straight in the eyes…I had to kiss her. I grabbed her chin and pulled her to me. She moaned slightly as she pushed herself away and headed for the door. She glanced back at me; I threw up my arms and headed for the bathroom.

…

Well the plan had worked. The cop apologized repeatedly. He kept saying that somebody had called to report someone was lurking in the parking garage. She explained that it was her. He chided her a bit for leaving without notifying them. She apologized half-heartedly promising she'd just needed a brief walk and she stayed at the complex. He went on to say he just wanted to check the locks on the windows and such. He did this quickly and cleared his throat in embarrassment. He soon left.

I didn't wait for her to come get me. She was too angry with me to do that. I emerged to find her in her bedroom pulling on some clothes. Her long sleeve thermal and shorts were cute, but she didn't need to get dressed on my account.

"I didn't see where kept your towels." That was a lie, I'd saw her take them out earlier, but I really like getting a rise out of her. It's becoming one of my favorite pastimes.

She walked behind me to the bathroom and got two towels from a cabinet. She walked back in front of me, trying not to look or acknowledge the fact I was practically naked. "Here." Her voice was quick and deliberate. She sighed a little. "Look even though your being here is your fault, I'm not an impolite person. I didn't want to be rude to you."

I didn't understand why she was apologizing. Though I assumed it was engrained at some point in her life to carry the unnecessary burden of guilt. "You shouldn't apologize for that."

"Yes I should. There's no excuse for being brash."

"Really?" I pondered this. "Then I have an awful lot of apologies to make." Someone was checking me out now. I raised my brow and grinned. "Please Janie, I'm a respectable guy." I wrapped a towel around my waist.

"So, somehow you're stuck here."

"How fortuitous."

"I'm not going to go to jail just because you broke in."

I smirked.

"I can, I'll put your clothes in the dryer."

"Aren't you a sweetheart?" I went to grab them and handed them to her. She weighed them in her hands. "You'll have to take out all of your…weapons.

I chuckled then followed her to the kitchen bar to disarm. She watched this with great interest. But mostly she just stared at me. I hadn't looked in the mirror but I'm sure my face had come off some. Curious, curious little Janie…

"I was right." She started.

"About what?"

"Your hair, it's brown." She spoke as if she was talking to herself.

"Oh you learned my secret. It's not naturally green."

She smiled a little. She was more relaxed now. Now that she was _forced_ to spend time with me. Oh me oh my.

The dryer was in the corner of her kitchen. It wasn't a very convenient place. But having your own dryer in Gotham is quite the luxury.

"Okay," She started. "I'm going to sleep. You can watch T.V. I guess." She threw up her arms. She was so flustered.

"That's it?" I teased.

"Uh, yeah pretty much."

"Did you listen to my mix tape?"

"Yes." She crossed her arms again.

"…and? Be honest I don't want you lying to me."

She pursed her lips. "It was a nice gesture, I guess. No one's ever made me a mix tape before."

I doubted that. "Well did you listen to it?"

She nodded. I shrugged.

"It started off entertaining."

"Started off?"

"Yes, but it quickly got," She paused. "Disturbing."

"Disturbing?"

"That's right."

"Well good. You understood what I was going for-my motif."

"If your goal was to creep me out then yes I totally got that theme."

"I didn't creep you out." Now I crossed my arms. "You knew every song."

"They're all very intense…considering." She was being ambiguous…what did I tell you?

"I woke you up."

"Woke me up?"

"That's right. To the fact that you and I, we're…"

"I'm still not entirely woken up. I'm going to bed." She slyly remarked and went back to her room.

"Cute Janie," I shook my head and started to explore. The light of the early day was shining in. And I was too energized to sleep. I guessed she wasn't sleeping either but I'd give her some time to pretend.

…

I'd gone through all of her DVR. She didn't watch much TV. All she recorded was Anthony Bourdain back in December. I watched an episode, a special on him going to Chile. He was a fun guy who had a way with words. He was also blessed with a very easy job. After that I flipped to the news. There were no leads to my whereabouts and the girl that I was supposedly holding ransom was killed. This was an interesting development. My copycat was upping his game. Killing her before the deadline was unpredictable. I'm unpredictable. He was trying to look more like me. I shut her TV off. She had some DVD's but I didn't want to watch a movie unless I watched it with her. I wandered to the kitchen and opened the cabinets. She had gone shopping recently. Everything was new.

"Janie, can I eat some of your food?" I called out. I wasn't going to ask but I wasn't going to miss an opportunity to bother her. She didn't answer. I shook my head and pulled out some cereal.

…

It was nine o' clock now. I was bored. My mood was starting to dampen. All of her really personal stuff was in her room. She didn't have any personal pictures hanging in her living room I could take. There was only a decorative painting and a couple of books. I suddenly remembered; I hadn't given her the library books yet. I'd have to save that for another time when she wasn't so touchy. Today would not be that day. Which was fine, I enjoyed her temper. I went to the dryer and pulled out my pants. I pulled them up, zipped and buttoned. I headed for her room and opened the door.

"You don't have to get up." I told her and leaned beside her on the bed.

Her eyes slowly opened as she growled angrily. The light from the window made her hair shine.

She was lying on her side facing me. "Oh that's right, you broke into my apartment."

"I didn't want to wake you."

"Then why are you talking and hovering over me?"

"Every guy likes to watch his girl sleep."

"I'm not your girl."

"Whatever you say..."

"Don't you sleep? I need sleep, I'm going back to sleep."

"Alright then…" I hopped over her body on the opposite side of the bed.

She was a little more awake now. "What are you doing?"

"It's not all about me, if sleep is so important to you…" I crawled in beside her.

She pulled the comforter over her head. "No, no no…" She spoke. The sound of her voice was muffled as she sunk under. I went under as well. We were in our own little world-Under the covers, nice and warm…

"This is a comfy bed."

"Yes, now get out of it!" She rolled over towards me.

"Give me one good reason."

She furrowed her brows. "You're getting make up on my pillows."

I laughed. She was so witty. "Do you really want me to leave?"

"Absolutely, leave my apartment!"

"I would see, but the police are looking for me. And you don't want them to know I'm here or I was here."

"At this point I don't care."

"Oh yes you do." She was so damn cute.

"Aren't you tired of this arguing? Can't you find some girl that wants to be with you?"

"Where's the fun in not arguing? But you do want to. You're just too stubborn. You're having trouble leaving your safe little station in life. It's too scary." I could see her a little bit. But as I said the comforter was really thick. I moved my hands around to find her. She swatted them away.

"You're right. It's definitely an obstacle. One I'm not going to get past."

"Why don't you kiss me?"

"No."

"Fine, I'll kiss you then." I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her. But she slithered out of them. She hopped out of the bed. She knew I didn't want to just kiss her. Kissing her was nice. But I could think of things that would be much nicer. I got up and went towards her. I guess I looked like I was ready to pounce because she looked like she was ready to fight right back.

"You need to get out now." She wasn't smiling. She wasn't joking. I took a breath to cool myself down. "You're a bad idea" She shook her head.

"What, you can't trust me? Or is it you can't trust yourself?"

She shrugged and threw up her arms. "Both."

I was surprised by her honesty. I'd barely realized we'd moved into the kitchen. She was pulling the rest of my clothes out of the dryer. She held them in her arms out towards me. I stared at them, then her for a second. I finally took them.

"We really need to work on this little problem of ours." I started to put on the rest of my clothes and re-arm myself.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"I like you too much."

"If you love something, let it go."

"Who said anything about love?" I chuckled. "We both know this isn't love. That's not what made you jump out of bed. That's not why you're afraid of being around me." I buttoned up my vest and rolled up my sleeves. "This is so beyond," I clenched my jaw as I put on my jacket. "This is so much deeper. It's like…I can feel you without touching you, your energy..."

She stared back at me. Her head was slightly lowered. But we'd locked eyes a while back. She hadn't broken the stare and neither had I. She looked like a predator. There was something so feral, so wild about her. That is, until she started laughing. It wasn't a chuckle, or a scoff. She was full out laughing. She walked up to me and put her hand on the small of my back. She guided me to the front door and opened it.

"Get out Joker." She smiled. I wasn't quite sure what had happened, but I'm pretty sure I was just beaten at my own game. But perhaps she was a little closer to losing her resolve, so close that all she could do was laugh.

"What are you doing tonight Janie?"

She shook her head.

"I'm going to pick you up at one." It would only take one more time. I was sure of it. Tonight would be it.

"Look as I've said before I like you…I like your company." She quickly corrected. "I'm so messed up for saying that…but unfortunately for you I like myself more."

"Come out with me tonight. If by tomorrow if you haven't come to your senses…or been honest with yourself, with me…"

"Then you'll leave me alone?"

I was a little bit startled for a moment. There was no way I would agree to that. I gave her the smallest nod I could muster. A nod could mean anything.

She took a breath. "That's tempting- Anything to get you the hell out of my life."

"Geez, you don't have to lay it on so thick!"

"Give me an address. I'll meet you there if I decide to go.

"Oh you better come. It will be so boring without you." I walked to the dry erase board on her fridge. I wrote down the address to the club. I'd for sure go if she was going. "We'll meet up outside here and do something afterwards." I was scheduling things a bit close but that was fine. I needed to make time for my personal life. "If you come early and go in…you'll get a chance to see your guy in action. It's going to get rough though so it would probably be best to pretend you don't know me until I come to you."

"I don't understand why you think I would risk being seen somewhere with you. Evading you in public is a natural assumption. I don't have a death wish. Nor do I want to be locked up in jail."

"You're such a meanie…Don't worry, the good cops don't go there."

She looked at the address, her eyes widened. "Why on earth would you want to go there? Are you…friends with them?"

I gave her a squinted look. "How would you know who owns that club?"

She smiled. "You didn't answer my question."

"I have some business with them."

"What kind of business?"

"So you're suddenly interested in my activities?" She just stared. But I was more than happy to tell her. "They ticked me off Janie. And I'm going to have a chat with their head-honcho or whatever he calls himself. Some…copyright infringement issues."

"I don't understand."

"That's because you don't watch the news."

"Why would you want to invite me to a place where I could get hurt? - Where you're most likely going to get hurt."

"Trust me; we're not the party that will be getting hurt. And you'll just be a bystander."

"But they're dangerous."

"What's wrong? I know you're not worried about me… Are you afraid? I won't let anything happen to you."

She rolled her eyes. "That's a popular promise…How about _I_ don't let anything happen to me?"

I shrugged. "I'll just be your backup then."

…

I doubted she'd come. I wanted her to, but it was fine that she didn't. That way she wouldn't give me flack for not keeping up my promise to leave her alone. Oh yeah, I decided to go to the club for sure…I needed to entertain myself. If Janie wasn't coming I wasn't going to sit around and wait for Blaine to call. That was boring, boring and desperate. But I knew I couldn't show up in the club this early. Blaine would be doing his research and people weren't near inebriated enough. It didn't take long to figure out who owned this club. I suddenly realized how unnecessary it was to even investigate. This was all Maroni's doing. Leave it to the dodgy Italian. He'd done me in and revealed my plans to the Commissioner. Who would have thought- a mobster with a conscience and boundaries? I was getting tired of all these surprises and inconsistencies in people's characters. I admired his betrayal in a way. It was bold, but on the flipside it was cowardly. He couldn't try to face me himself. Luckily, Harvey, two-face faced him. Ha, see what I did there? Well he got banged up a little in a little accident. Maroni flew from the vehicle. He walks with a limp now and had to have skin grafted from his leg to save his face. His jaw had to be realigned. Needless to say he's not the pretty boy he used to be. But I digress. What I was getting at was he's had it out for me ever since. It's some strange crusade of his since the cops and Arkham couldn't keep me down it's somehow his responsibility. Once again; since when did Mobsters dwell out justice? Well, justice is a loose term. Maroni didn't really care about _justice._ He cared about his repertoire. The girls were murdered at his club. He knew a little more about my M.O. than the general public. Thirdly, he knew this would tick me off. I wasn't like him and all his pals. I didn't want money and I didn't kill people without putting myself in the spotlight a little. I'm a performer. That was part of who I am.

Blaine texted me around midnight saying there were no cops but he thinks he has a lead. Some guys were talking about the murdered girls. I wanted to see for myself, but it was still too early. I'd have to wait for a little bit longer.

I'm no idiot. I brought men with me tonight. We'd have to take the club and corner Maroni. -Maroni and the guy he hired to imitate me, I had a bone to pick with him as well, or several. I'll bet he was banking on me showing up eventually. This could have been a trap but I had a few tricks of my own. And besides, I wanted to get this house cleaning out of the way. The club bouncers were big fellas. They were no nonsense but somehow not above bribery. Now that was consistent to their stereotypical character. I liked that.

One of them told me Maroni's men were a little heavier tonight…hmm…that there were five that followed him and three on the exits. There was one by the bar incognito in a blue pinstripe suit. Geez, it all was a little overkill if you ask me. Nine of them total. That's a nice number, but not as good as six. He gave me a general layout of the club, and even agreed to plant a few surprises in it…

We were congregated up in a van a few blocks down. There were seven of us, including me. I really liked the number six. I liked to always have six men. It had never let me down before. It was very symmetrical. In the event that something went wrong, I'd be the seventh man. I'd blend in and get the hell out of dodge…If they all died, well…then I'd just get six more.

I don't like group things though. They were all talking up a storm. They asked me various questions that I didn't want to listen to or answer. They only needed the instructions I gave them. I wasn't in the mood for talkative henchmen. I even thought about killing the one sitting to my left. He wouldn't stop yapping. But I needed my six, I liked my six. Maybe he'd get shot. I'd take joy in seeing that happen. No my mind was once again pervaded with thoughts of Janie. She had burst into laughter. She was losing her grip. But that laugh meant several things. One, she was resigning herself to the fact this wasn't one sided. Yeah she'd voiced it. But her laugh was more like accepting it a bit. I'm not going to waste my time on a girl that doesn't like me back. I'm not a masochist. I have no interest in torturing myself. Though I would have a seriously hard time after knowing her, to just giving up if she was never interested. Her laugh was also for catharsis. She couldn't let herself give in. She's too stubborn. I like that, but it's frustrating simultaneously. But what's a relationship if not torture? I'll be the first to admit I have some rather, dark intentions. If she wasn't who she was, I'd of broken her. I'd of kept her around for a while even if she was weak of mind and spirit. I would have, used her. It's easy to use people after a "trauma" like witnessing the bombing of one's school and chatting up and making out with a so called "terrorist." But not Janie, she couldn't be penetrated like that. Things that bother the masses don't bother her. Not in the same way anyways. Sure, she's troubled because she likes me. I'm a complicated guy, if you're genuinely into me there's something a little off about you. I'm just being honest. But there was the mystery. She liked me because she recognized herself in me somehow, we clicked. There's something dark in her that made her- shall we say predisposed to my charm. It made her somehow like me. Whatever it was gave her the ability to identify it in both of us. But whatever that is, it also makes her strong. She can like me, she can want me, but I can't control her. She's going to do what she wants to do. I don't like that. But I do. I still don't know if I like it. Because that makes me hers as much as she'd be mine. This wasn't something I was accustomed to. I didn't ever care what other people wanted. But I did with her. I wanted her as elated as I was. I just wanted her. I wanted her to let me have her. I wasn't used to this. What a conundrum. I just like using that word. I'll bet she uses it in her diary. Though I don't think she has one… I'd never met a girl like her though. Hopefully this relationship would evolve. She's delightful but she can't be that different. Eventually, hopefully I would break her. If not, I'd probably be sorry because there was always the chance she'd sail me up the river. She reacts to things in her interest and self-preservation. That's a little reckless for a so-called normal citizen. She also seems to lack empathy. Now, it might have been different if someone she loved was with her. If I threatened say her and her sister she might have operated contrarily. But who knows if she even has a sister. I don't care about her sister…

Blaine called me. He'd killed a cop, but the cop turned out not to be involved in this. Ha, but he found the place where the third girl was murdered. There was a back room with blood stains on the floor; he recognized it from the tape. Well that was gross. Why hadn't they cleaned that up yet? It's a place of business! I did need to wait a bit longer though. Things would unfold in due time…

I kept a sharp eye on the entrance. There was no sign of her. She wouldn't come. She wanted to. A part of me thought she'd also come as an attempt to get me to leave her alone. But she really needed some excitement. Young people well, interesting people in general shouldn't waste their time working and studying. It's not natural. With me, excitement was a guarantee. I thought I'd saw her once or twice but they were just normal girls. Maybe I'd drop by her apartment later and we'd have some coffee or sex or something…

I went in the club about one-thirty. It was dark and noisy. It was also pretty gargantuan. But I was very perceptive. I eyed the exits and the three men guarding them. I told my men to stay in pairs. Two of them would go along and get rid of the exit guards. Two of them would find Mr. Undercover at the bar. And the other two would stay behind me. I was important enough. I needed bodyguards too.

Whenever I go out, I always get looks from people. It's usually ones of horror and fright. _Don't make me laugh_ I think to myself. I could care less about all of them. Baaaaaaaa…They say a sheep will kill over if you simply yell at it or scare it a bit. I think the same is true for most humans. They'll fall over in fear if you simply look at them the wrong way. Yeah I caused a little attention. Some people are surprisingly still sober. Most of them think I'm not the real me though. That instead I'm wearing a costume. I blame TV and movies and video games. It's all the CGI and special effects. People's suspension of disbelief has lessened in recent times. They're willing to believe less and less even when they see it with their own eyes. Some of them even want to give me a high-five for my excellent costume. Whatever…

I scan the exits again. Two of them are clear. My guys work fast. They're on their way to the third. I can't tell if bar-man has been taken out but he will be soon. I'm already joined by my exit men. They've finished the job already. So efficient! Tonight I'd picked ones all from prison. I have to be careful in my selection. These were some of my buddies from violent crimes. They knew how to get the job done. I see no sign of Blaine…but he's a slight fellow and could very easily get lost in a crowd.

Maroni's VIP section was on the right. The music was awful. Janie and I didn't like this…if she was here. I'm sure this place was over capacity it was very crowded. Kudos for him for having such a popular club though! That was easy though for mobsters. They liked to have a lot of "family" around. Loyalty to them was loyalty to your own neck in these parts. As long as you played their game- you got to keep your neck. Too bad I'm not like that. No, I'm an equal opportunity offender. This goes back to the killing conversation we had earlier. Yeah Maroni had several friends, lots of people for his flock. I barely saw his slightly disfigured face sitting down at a corner round table. He had a broad with him and of course his five men. We got two of them almost immediately. He gave me a frightened look. This pleased me. At least he had the good sense to know I was angry. I sat down next to him as my guys finished his guys off

"Candi, will you give us a little privacy?" I looked at the woman sitting next to him. Her mouth hung agape. That was a good place to put a bullet…

She stared at me in fright. "I, my name is Kelsey."

"Isn't that what I said?"

She looked at Maroni for a second. He gestured for her to leave. She got up and jetted off.

"Well she was nice." I straightened my jacket. "How's it going, I hear you've recently been in an accident. How you holding up?"

He decided to straighten his own jacket. He was going to play this cool. "Not bad,"

"I like what you did with the face, gives you that deformed mobster look all the big-shots aim for."

He pursed his lips. He was cornered literally and figuratively. There really was nothing he could say, but he said something anyway. "You got a lot of nerve coming in here."

I laughed. "Oh, well, nerve is something I have in abundance…by the way, how's your leg?" I took my knife and stabbed him under the table. He looked down and smiled as the blood trickled down his pant leg. "Can't feel a thing." He shrugged.

"Really, how bout in this one?" I took the knife out and stabbed the other one. He groaned and leaned forward. His head was almost resting on the table. I leaned to his ear. "Stop grumbling. You won't hear what I have to say."

"You're a madman. This is my club. You won't make it out of here alive!"

"Insult, statement, threat- none of which were things I needed to hear from you."

"You're never gonna…"

"Shh! I said listen, I was about to praise you. It's pretty clever- the copycat and all. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery…"

He raised his head a bit and faced me now. His eyes were glassy. "I don't know what you're talking about." He voiced facetiously.

"Do you like your fingers? Because you do have ten of them, we could have a good time guessing which ones are your favorites."

"I'm not telling you nothin."

"I'm thinking the index finger. It's everybody's favorite. But it is the pose able thumb that separates us from other primates."

"What do you want?"

"Oh, what happened to _I'm not telling you nothing_?"

"So I hired the guy, to lure you out. It worked didn't it?"

I shrugged. "Well yes but not in your favor."

"You're here aren't you? Just as I thought… Curiosity killed the cat…" He laughed a bit and looked behind me. I quickly turned.

The bouncer I bribed and another guy were in the process of finishing off three of my men. I had three more around here somewhere…and Blaine. But I couldn't count on him. These were all mobsters not cops…I reached in my lapel and pressed a detonator. Luckily it went off. This bouncer really played both sides of the fence- he set up the detonators but still double crossed me? People screamed and scads of them flew out of the exits trampling over each other on the way out. I took Maroni and pushed him out of the booth. I picked him up and pulled a knife out to his neck. It was surprisingly more difficult to threaten a cripple than someone with all their walking capabilities. He was having trouble standing up at the angle I held him.

"You'll never get away with this."

"That's such a cliché thing to say…hush up! Now Sal, I need you, to tell me who it was that you hired." I kept my request simple.

"I ain't telling you…" I pressed the knife to his throat, enough to draw blood. Now would be a good time to assess my situation. I looked up. The club populace was getting pretty sparse. There were three of his men. There was one of mine coming up from behind. He shot one of them. There were two of his men. But one whipped around and shot mine. Damn.

"Seems like, you're not a very popular guy." Maroni mumbled. These gangsters- so much pride they just won't stop yapping. But he did have a point; my numbers were dwindling if they even still existed. I had been hasty in this. I also heard some guys running up from behind. I reached around and let the second detonator go off. It was close enough that pieces of bodyguard came flying towards us. Maroni lost his footing and fell to the ground. I stumbled a little but caught myself. Because now I'd have to take cover. The bullets started flying. I made my way behind a booth. I was greeted by one of my men cowering next to me.

"Boss we got the explosives but…well I'm the only one. They're all dead. Boss I don't know what to do we're going to have to blow our way out of here I don't mean to be a coward but…" He went on and on. This was Mr. Chatty. He would have been the one to _not _get shot. I gave him another gun since he was out of bullets and made my way to the bar. There were a lot of structures so I made it around the club quite effortlessly. Though there seemed to be an abundance of bullets from these two guards. Mr. Chatty quickly started firing. It took them by surprise. He hit one of the light fixtures and it fell to the ground.

"Would you stop messing up my club?" Maroni shouted angrily.

Chatty got one of them in the leg I think. Just in time too. I ducked behind the bar and grabbed some alcohol. I started to pour it everywhere. Soon after the bullets resumed. I searched and quickly found a lighter. This was heavily varnished wood. It would burn easily, but the alcohol helped. It quickly set aflame. Giving me just enough cover to get up and get one of his men. Well, my mission was accomplished. All except finding out who it was that was copying me. Any question that it was Maroni after me was squashed after tonight. I could find out my impersonator later. But I had underestimated Maroni's paranoia. I'd have to try to shoot him on my way out or deal with him later as well. Right then, I needed to get out of there.

I had the third explosion go off. This time chunks of the wall flew about. Maroni and his men ducked. The left back exit would be my quickest strategy. I made my way and was almost there when I felt it. I'd gotten one in the arm. I whipped around in the angle I'd been shot at. It was the bouncer.

"Really?" I giggled as I spoke, and then shot him. But this brought me face to face with Maroni and his two men. Well, one of his men. The other I saw was pulling the body of Mr. Chatty out from behind the booth. Well, at least he got shot.

Oh well, it was a good day to die as any. I'm not an idiot. Life is short for guys in my line of work. But I wasn't really going to go out this easy. I was kind of glad Janie hadn't come. Things usually worked out more in my favor. I'd just been lucky though. My plans were always impromptu at best. But it was partially her fault. She'd distracted me…and she was distracting me now. Focus, focus… I was about fifty feet away. I could threaten him with a grenade but I didn't have a clear exit. I'd die with them. I didn't want to die really-not tonight anyway. I held up my gun and shot. Ha, I got bodyguard in the arm. He grabbed it for a second, but it was just a scratch he quickly recovered.

Maroni laughed. "Looks like you're all out of party tricks."

I needed to think of a clever rebuttal before I shot him. I wasn't the best of shots but I didn't have to be with an automatic…there's a guarantee you're going to hit something. I shot him in his arm. What was it with me and the arms tonight? My arm was killing me…I fired again but I was out of ammo…eh, oh well…

Maroni laughed and switched hands for his gun. He and the bodyguard aimed for me. Then, out of nowhere number seven showed up. He was a short little man with a classic clown mask upon his face. About 5'6-5'7 I would say. Good old Blaine. Who knew he had it in him? Blaine had his arm around Maroni's neck and a gun held up to the bottom of his already-bleeding throat. The bodyguard flipped the direction of his gun back and forth. Poor guy didn't know what to do.

Blaine murmured something. I wasn't close enough to hear. But I assume it was the ever popular "drop it," because that's exactly what the bodyguard did. This wasn't really a standoff anymore so I approached them.

Blaine was dragging Maroni to the exit. I picked up a stray gun and pointed it to the bodyguard and followed. The guy was smart enough to stay put. I shot the bodyguard running towards the scene. This time I got the head, not the arm. This one was out of ammo now. I sighed and threw it to the ground.

"Darius said, you only had six men." Maroni murmured as Blaine dragged him.

"Well he said you only had nine." We were at the exit now, Blaine dropped him. I bent my legs and knelt down next to him.

"Well this has been fun. But I must say you're not very kind to your patrons."

"You'll, you'll…"

"Tell your impersonator to find a new occupation."

Maroni was shaking now. From all the shock I'm sure. That and he wasn't a fully well man when this night began. He'd lost a great amount of blood. He slowly nodded. Whether he was telling the truth or not, it was the smart thing to do.

"On second thought, I think I'll just tell him myself." I took my gun and aimed it at his head. Blaine, who was standing by me quickly, swatted it away.

"What, just because he's not a cop I…" I got a closer look at Blaine. Blaine had filled out. His jacket was black and heavy so I couldn't initially see what was underneath it. This might be too much information-but I was aroused. I don't care. I was that ecstatic. My grin stretched all the way across my face. "Well it was awful nice of you to show up."

"Blaine" took my gun from me and walked right out.

"What the fuck?" Maroni voiced. He was probably getting impatient wondering whether or not he was going to die.

"Take it easy Sal I'll see you soon." I gave him a little punch to knock him out. I got up and left the club as well.

I caught up to her, but it wasn't easy. She really was a fast one. I could hear sirens in the distance. I shook my head- Maroni would have someone call the cops. I, we needed to get out of there. She wasn't going to come with me. I played along, acting like I still thought she was the priest.

"Blaine, the cops are coming. We got a car down this way. I also promptly took the gun. It would just be safer for me if I had it…I was an excellent slide-of-hand.

She shook her head and kept walking. Well, that didn't work.

"Janie, come one. I've been in a few of these situations; we really don't need to be walking near the scene of a mass killing- Particularly a mob killing." She'd already known I knew it was her. That's why she'd run out…

The sirens were getting closer and she still was walking. I didn't have time for this. It was only reasonable to give her a fair warning. "Janie, I'm going to pick you up and carry you if I have to. We need a quicker get away than on foot."

"I'm not going with you!"

_She speaks. _But she probably also speaks the truth. Then again, so do I. I came up behind her and stopped her path. I grabbed her legs and swept her over my shoulders. She responded by taking my arm and twisting it backwards.

"Ouch!" I had to lower her a little. That was my good arm, and now it hurt too! It was enough for me to drop her and for her to get down. She smoothed herself and continued to walk. I laughed as I shook my arm. Luckily, I saw my getaway car. A black Civic was sitting with the passenger door slightly open. I acted fast and grabbed her arm and dragged her to the car. I opened the door and unlocked the rest. I took us around and had her slide in the driver's side to the passenger's. She fought me along the way but I was too fast. I held onto her until I got in and drove off. She was so feisty! It wasn't a few seconds after I pulled off three cop cars whirred past us towards the club.

"See!" I reached over and pulled the mask off from the top of her head. Her hair went everywhere. She smoothed it back out of her face. I smiled again. I was so happy to see her.

"Well, this certainly brings our relationship to a _whole_ new level."

She shook her head. "It doesn't. You had saved my life…" She paused for a moment. "So I saved yours."

"No, this implies you wanted my life to be saved."

"The whole point of me coming was for you to leave me alone."

"No, if that were true…you would have just let me die."

"Instead I end up saving your…I end up having to..." She rested her head in her hands. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…This is all so fucked up."

"It's not. Don't say that. It, that was…" I started laughing. I don't know how to categorize it. I was on edge, but in a good way… "You saved me." I voiced it slowly. "You just, took that gun and held it to Maroni's neck. We, you…we...did you shoot any of his men?"

"No, no!" She was having trouble with this.

"You were fearless, you just had that gun and you took action."

"I was stupid, I'm so stupid. What the hell was I…what am I thinking? I should have just left…I should have just let you…" She turned to me and stared in disbelief.

"There there." I turned over into an alley. I put the car in park. I grabbed the lapels of her coat and kissed her. It was my lucky day. Twice today I'd been able to taste those lips. I wasn't gentle, I wasn't gentle earlier in her apartment but I definitely wasn't now. I was so worked up. I could feel the blood in my veins. Everything was coursing quicker, my heart was beating faster. She responded. I knew she would. Her hand returned to my shoulder. She pulled it closer, clenched it so tight it kind of hurt. That's probably because there was a bullet in it a few inches down… I grabbed her neck and a handful of hair. It was soft, but quickly tangled within my grasp. I was going to have her. I moved back and we looked at each other. I knew if she showed up tonight this was going to happen. I'm good at guessing. It was that connection we shared. That part of me I recognized in her. It was the little spark of predictability. My personality and hers could only be patient for so long. It had been some time since I'd been with someone. But this was different. This was more than I ever could have expected. This was someone...this was Janie. She wasn't going anywhere. I could feel every particle, every little piece of her existence. It was on edge, just as much as I was. She wanted me. This was like a really good trip on some very mind altering drugs. But somehow everything was clear. Everything was as it should have been. I kissed her again, this time her neck. I was ready to explore. She tensed up. Her whole body did. No, no, no… She was trying to fight it off. She leaned back on her side of the car. I followed her, all of me. I couldn't help it. We were like magnets...or more accurately I was the magnet and she the metal. But I'll be damned if she didn't defy nature. She grabbed the door handle and swung herself out. My hands slid off her. My grasp wasn't tight enough to battle her inevitable apprehension. I stared at her. I hated her. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to punish her for being so stubborn, for defying what so desperately needed to take place. On the other hand, I should have known. Her resistant nature made her who she was. I would've respected her less if she wasn't that person. But at that moment I couldn't have cared less about respect. She straightened herself and looked up to me. She knew what she did. She was very astute. She knew that I knew. There wasn't a turning back for us. Our eyes penetrated one another.

"Don't do it, you'll regret it if you do."

She shook her head. "I'll regret it more if I don't." She shrugged and tightened her jacket around herself. She walked off.

She'd left me. The nerve of this one, I tell ya! She'd left me certainly wanting-wanting and furious. I could kill her. It would be fun, I'd be very creative. I was so wound up. It's not healthy to have so much unused energy. She was so obstinate…I could hurt her, I could make her scared. I could make her regret it. But that's just the thing. I could physically hurt her but she had me all twisted. I couldn't really do anything…I flashed back to accidentally cutting her cheek. I didn't want her hurt, I just wanted her. She was good for me. She was too good for anyone else. I moved uncomfortably about in the seat. I flexed my jaw and mouth. It had gotten very passionate there for a second…intensity was through the roof. There was this incredible wave of excitement and pleasure, and then the letdown. It would never be the same. I really didn't want to be in this car anymore. It had started snowing yet again and my line of vision outside was getting fuzzy. I backed the car up to the street and flipped on the lights. Her figure appeared almost a block ahead. It was still walking down the street. I clenched my jaw. She couldn't walk around here. She was tough but this was the narrows…I couldn't see them but I felt them. There were hunters and predators lurking in all the dark corners. They'd already been alerted of her existence. I needed to assert myself. No one was going to bother her tonight- No one except me. I drove a little then got out and followed her. If I let her go, if she even made it home she'd vex over what had happened. But she wouldn't apologize. And I wouldn't see her again until I made it happen. She's too much of a survivalist-helping herself in whatever way she deems best. That's how I would play this. Maybe she'd get back in the car if I could convince her it was in her best interest.

She had heard me, but she didn't stop. "Go away."

"Come on, there are a lot of weirdoes and crazies out and about in these parts."

She laughed and shook her head. I don't know what that was about…

"You're really going to walk all the way across town? You'll freeze before you get there. Well, freeze or end up dead in an alley. You're going to walk all alone on the bridge or tunnel?"

"I'll catch a cab."

"Not in the narrows doll- And not anywhere else since you're covered in blood." I grabbed my arm. I'd just reminded myself.

She stopped and looked down at her clothes. She finally turned to me. "I didn't get shot. Whose blood is this?"

"It's mine. Now will you get in the car?"

She stared at me for a moment. She was mulling this all over. "You got shot?"

"Why would it make a difference? Would you get in the car?"

She shook her head. She was contemplating it. She was still a bit wound up as well, but like I said-survivalist. "I don't particularly feel like freezing. But you can't attack me like some horny teenager. I'm not having sex with you."

"Okay, not tonight." I was beside her now, using my good arm to push her along.

"Joker, not any night, not ever. Try that again and I'll shoot you. And it won't be in the arm."

"You don't have a…" I'd reached in my lapel. She did have the gun. "Whatever you say Janie." Who would have thought it was me being shot that got her attention. She cared about me. I think I saw little cartoon hearts.

It was good to be back in the car. The thermostat read 11. That was cold. And it was only going to get colder. I turned the heater to high as I drove off. My phone illuminated in the cup holder.

"Could you get that for me?"

She gave me a bewildered look.

"It's just a text, just read it to me. It's not safe to text and drive- Especially when I have only one good arm."

She held the phone up and read. "It's from someone called _Whip It?_"

"Uh-huh."

"It just says _Victor Zsasz._"

That name sounded familiar.

"Oh wait…it also says _tally marks_?"

That was it. "Interesting." I voiced. "I didn't really think he had it in him. I knew good old Victor from Arkham. He was in one of the thirty nine rooms at Arkham. The guy likes to kill and cut a tally mark on his body for each of his victims. I guess he got out Fright Night…him and all the other crazies were let loose the night Ra's al Ghul decided to scare the hell out of everyone and almost destroy Gotham. That was a glorious night. Full of pandemonium and pure unadulterated rapture. I myself didn't do that much. I really just enjoyed watching. I'd never felt in such harmony with everyone…but alas."

"Well isn't that special." Janie's remark alerted me that I was thinking aloud.

"Where were you on fright night?"

"I don't remember."

"Sure you do. Don't lie."

"I was," She shook her head. "I was at a party."

"A party? You go to parties?"

"For my job at the school. I had to go. It was a fundraiser."

"Fascinating, and what did you see?"

"What?"

"Don't be coy, I want to know. What was it that you saw? Your fear?" Whatever it was she seemed to be envisioning it right now. "I can't articulate or put in words…" She swallowed. This was odd. I didn't know whether I wanted to ag her on or change the subject. I was conflicted. Luckily she took the lead.

"So, he copied you?"

"I know can you believe it? He starts…killing girls in front of Maroni's club and making it look like I did it."

"Wait…the club is, is that why you were there tonight…to get information?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Well, that makes more sense. But if Maroni was after you why would you go into his club, his fortress and attack him?"

"Now you're making it sound stupid."

"It is stupid."

"It's sweet you're concerned."

"That's not," She sighed. "That's not what I was getting at."

While she was getting angry again, I was getting a little woozy. Thank goodness we we're close to my place.

…

I'd made it. I didn't think I would but I made it. I put the car in park in the alley. Someone would come pick it up in a few hours. Now we only had a half-a block's walk.

"Where are we?"

"My place. You were just here…" I got out of the car. She followed suit.

"Okay well, thanks for the ride I guess. Stay out of my life now."

"Janie, that wasn't part of the deal…"

"Yes it was. If I didn't respond or change my mind by tonight…"

"You call what we started in the car earlier not responding?"

She was about to argue but she stopped herself. She knew her excuses had no validity. "I'm done." She shook her head. There she went walking again…I caught up with her.

"So what are you going to tell the police?"

"They don't know where I am."

"Yeah, but what about when you return with blood all over you? How are you going to explain that?"

"I left a note on kitchen bar in case they came in. I'll just spend the night in a hotel or something."

"No, you'll spend the night with me."

"That is not going to happen."

I put my arm around her. It was cold…but mostly I needed the support. Janie made my head spin but blood loss and an open wound made it spin even more. I fell on her a bit.

"Jesus." She murmured and braced me with her hand on my chest. "Where did you get shot?"

"My arm." I nestled my head to hers. I don't have a lot of inhibitions ordinarily. But at this point they were completely gone. "You're so stunning. Too bad you don't feel like having sex tonight." I kissed her neck. She tried to push me off but it was a bad angle.

"So you save me at the club but you're going to just let me kill over now?"

"Don't do this…don't make me responsible for you."

"All I'm doing is keeping us warm." My arm clenched to her tightly. She fit well in my clutch. I don't mind girls the same height as me, or even taller. But it was nice she was shorter. Janie, my little pillar of strength. I was getting dizzier. I'd felt like this before when I was shot in the leg. Though that had hindered my mobility even more than this was.

"Do you have some, underworld type doctor that you could go to?"

I laughed. "I'm not a mobster Janie. Besides, who needs doctors when we have the internet? Healthcare is just a farce to…"

"Save me the entropic philosophical theories please…" I couldn't see her face, but I hinted some despondency in her voice. She was either really worried about me or she felt obligated to help me when she reaaaaaallllly didn't want to. Probably a mixture of both…

My senses were getting a little hazy. Some of them were becoming stronger than others. Like, my vision was slowly deteriorating. But my sense of small was sharp. I could smell the cold, the wet air. But mostly I could smell her. She was my favorite smell.

I never thought we'd get here, but Janie was in my apartment. Well, the one I was using at the moment. It was a loft style, just on the edge of the island in the middle of Chinatown. I kept odd hours so I hardly ever ran into anyone. Chinatown also has its fair share of crime. Most of the citizens stay put in the wee hours.

My door opens like a garage door. It's nice because it just looks like part of the wall. I was telling Janie all about it in attempts to impress her…I think. My memory is a little bit fuzzy. It fades in and out. I have this mental picture of her opening the door and helping me in. I don't think anything happened next except she kind of dropped me on the couch.

"Thanks for the help Janie. I knew you wouldn't leave me."

She took a second and sat down beside me. My hands were busy trying to grab her. She was busy swatting them away. "Mark my words Joker. Tomorrow, I'm not going to be so nice. I want you out of my life. I want you gone. I will take measures to assure that."

I heard her but I didn't respond. There was no use. I was thinking about hot air balloons. I've never seen one in real life but I've always liked them. Maybe I had a model of one in my room as a kid? I don't know- I might be making that up. Janie left then came back with some towels. She told me to take my jacket off…then my shirt. I made a crack about that but she ignored it as she usually does.

"I can see the bullet."

"Wonderful, take it out."

"What?"

"Take it out for me doll."

She was nervous; she didn't want to do that. I moved my hand upon her cheek. My gloves were off. I could feel her skin. "It's just like cutting tenderloin."

"I should just let it get infected. Let you die here."

"But you won't." I pulled out a knife and handed it to her. She held it in her hands and stared.

"Now don't you steal it, it's to help get the bullet out."

She got up and left for a minute. I got angry. I didn't know where she went. She always leaves. But this time she came back. She had washed the knife and was burning it with a lighter. Something about the flame- I was a little more alert now.

"This won't sterilize it completely I don't think."

"I'm not really worried at this point Janie."

She sat on the couch next to me. She gripped my shoulder and looked up at me. "You ready…because I have to tell you I don't know if it's going to work."

"Then I'll die in your arms. It will be very poetic."

She pursed her lips as she gripped my shoulder and stuck the knife in a bit. It stung but not that bad initially. That was because she wasn't getting anything accomplished.

"You're going to have to…" There it went. I grabbed her thigh right above her knee. That knife hurt and I really needed to relieve the pressure. She didn't say anything, even when I squeezed harder and felt around a bit. "It's not in deep but it's like, lodged…" She put down the knife and brought her fingers up to it.

"What are you doing?"

"Just a second." She stuck her index finger and thumb into the wound. Somehow, I don't know how, but it hurt more than the knife. But wouldn't you know it- her barbaric method worked. Out came her fingers and out came the bullet.

"Where did you learn to do that?"

"I saw it on Swamp People."

"And here comes the blood…" I murmured.

"What?" She looked at the wound. I've seen it many a times before. Blood oozed from it like a mini-waterfall. She took a towel on her lap and poured peroxide on it.

"Way to warn a guy…" She took several paper towels and placed them on the wound. She looked around the place then got up again. I hate it when she leaves.

She came back with duct tape. She took it and wrapped it around my arm to secure it. I chuckled.

She relaxed back onto the couch in sheer exhaustion. I sat back next to her.

"You've really saved me tonight."

"I'm still mulling that over. Don't talk about it right now."

"The generator powers everything. I get water if you want to clean yourself off." Whoever said I wasn't hospitable…

"No," Her voice sounded somewhere far off. "I think I'm just going to sit her."

I nodded. "Alright Janie." I relaxed my head in her lap. She pushed me off…I laughed.

The hours passed like that. It was still dark but barely. She had fallen asleep and her body naturally leaned to the other end of the couch. I just watched her. It was calming. When she's not yelling at me or taking a bullet out of my arm she generally has that effect. I wanted to touch her. Touch is important in a relationship. Though right now I suspect I wanted it more than her. All she wanted to do was sleep. She'd told me so this morning. I wasn't much of a sleeper. I didn't understand the practice fully. But I found myself wanting to right now. I wanted to be comfortable and complacent. I thought about moving us to the bed but she might get the wrong idea about that and shoot me with the gun she had. Where was she hiding it? No I just continued to let her lie there, while I sat there, just staring. I really liked her. It was then I realized that whatever happened, I now had vulnerability. I never had regard for life before, but I did hers. She mattered. She was different and special. She was the one that I wanted. She could be mine. She understood me. As I've said all along, she'll raise above all the propriety.

Bats and Gordon thought they would use her to get to me. But that wasn't a problem. They were predictable. And they were the "good guys." They wouldn't put her in harm's way. It wasn't them I needed to worry about. Well, they wouldn't physically harm her. Maybe I needed to worry about them a little. They'd do their best to sway or convince her to not be with me. Though she'd never tell them…I didn't like them trying to manipulate her- in a small way they'd already done it but I could see where this was going. They were going to try and take her. I couldn't have that. I had to protect her from all those poison devils.

…

I don't know what surprised me more- The fact that I actually woke up in the morning or the fact that I fell asleep. Janie was gone, that was no surprise. She was a mover…always bouncing about- the girl had trouble staying still. I wasn't going to wake with her next to me. Up I rose. My head hurt. Why did the sirens have to be so loud? My arm was throbbing. I made my way to the kitchen to get some water. I needed to hydrate. My mouth was completely dry. I wasn't being paranoid, but the sirens were getting closer. I looked out the window. Well, it was a party outside. Police were scouting the neighborhood. They were searching for someone-they were searching for me. I was feeling pretty ambivalent about this. No one knew where I lived. No one, that is, except her. I pursed my lips. She wouldn't call the cops on me. There was no way-not after what we went through...

They were in my building now. I had a way out. I always had a way out. But that wasn't the issue. I took a quick scan around the apartment. This was my favorite one. It was a loft; it was bigger than all the rest. I looked around with no avail. She wasn't there. Of course she wasn't. This wasn't good, to wake up and almost immediately become so angry. I gathered up my coat and picked up my laptop. I threw it across the room until it broke. I had to do something. I'm not the type of person that let's anger fester. I let it out. But I opened the window anyway and threw it out towards my greeting party. They hadn't made it to my floor yet. I can't believe she called the police. I must say; my suspension of disbelief was in question now. We'd been through stuff. She'd saved my life. I'd saved hers. We had a moment of clarity, a breakthrough in her conduct. Oy Vey! She did say today would be different. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised.

I pick these places for a reason. They're connected to the city water lines. There's an underground system that connects everyone to running water. It's actually quite peaceful. There's a walkway for the maintenance men and everything. Honestly though, it's a bit disturbing. It's quite scary to think we actually drink this stuff. There are all sorts of critters running down here and several cracks in the pipes. But I suppose that's about par. Everyone has their own pipes it runs through first so I guess it doesn't matter.

I emerged an hour later. My other place wasn't that far. All I had to do was go down an alley. It was risky but I had to go up and get some fresh air. It was a bit warmer today. Just enough to make you think you can walk in it. But not really- when the wind bounced off the buildings it bit you. In my case, it bit all my sore spots. It was particularly cruel toward my arm. Janie had fixed up my arm. She fixed it up just so she could sick the dogs on me. What a naughty girl. I didn't like this. I was mad at her again, like I was last night when she jumped out of the car. She had a lot of guts, I'll give her that. If I didn't know better, I'd say balls. She has a lot of balls. She certainly wasn't cowardly in her approach. There was no mystery that it was her. And we were doing so well…

I got into my other apartment and flipped the generator on, then the heater. It was even colder than outside if that was even possible. I wish I had some firewood. I'd start a fire in the middle of living room if I had some. But alas…I didn't have any firewood because I wasn't prepared. I didn't have my laptop because I'd gotten angry. In fact, I still was. I was very, very irritated with her. I was all about teaching lessons…I'd have to perform my magnum-opus for Janie. She'd gotten close to me, and then she betrayed that confidence. She deserved nothing less than my best effort. Because of her I didn't have my girl. Well, I didn't have her like I thought I did. I'd have to up my game. But this wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault she was so stubborn. I'd never asked or wanted her to insert herself into my life. She'd done that all on her own. My girl was not ignorant. She was entirely cognizant of her actions. It was her fault, but not all hers. We'd have to have a little heart-to-heart about this. No, no- she'll come around. I'd already guessed this would happen. On the other hand, it was _my_ job to step up and shield her, I'd been too indulgent. I needed to man-up. I needed to protect her from them. I couldn't say exactly who it was that helped her come to the decision to double cross me. But I'm really good at guessing.


	5. All or Nothing It's Written in Blood

**Chapter Five: All or Nothing- It's Written in Blood **

**-I don't know how happy I am with this chapter-Probably because it has less Joker/Jane… but you deserve and update and certainly you deserve for the story to move along. Sorry for the ridiculously long delay! **

Every story has its themes. There are motifs and subjects that sprinkle themselves on top of or inside the narrative. In mine, in the chronicle of my life- One of my themes is this city. Gotham has always been a part of me. I've travelled, I long to travel more. But I'll always come back. I can't help it. This is the worst city on earth. It's also the greatest city on earth. It will always be those two things. You have to take the bad with the good I suppose. Well not really, places like Bucyrus, Ohio don't have seedy yet opulent night clubs owned by mob bosses…do they?

So, I don't know when exactly it was I befitted the role of a moron. Perhaps it was when I didn't run like hell out of that library. That was definitely a good time to cash in the chips. But no, that's not what happened. I could have even let it slide that he came to see me those times. I didn't invite him. No my intelligence and tact was damaged beyond repair when I decided to go to that club. That was solely my decision and my fault. Unfortunately, that was the beginning of a series of bad choices and split decisions I would make. What a dolt I'm turning out to be. True, I could make excuses for all of my actions. It's in my personality. (As it is in a lot of us) I try to make sense of things- and excuse myself for being stupid and not thinking clearly. I could blame stress, insomnia, and especially the Joker. But no, the choices I made were my own. They were rash and they were beneath me. I should have thought things through…And as much as I don't want to admit it, I was playing right into his, well… I was playing right into the hands of danger.

GQ is one of the largest night clubs in town. Well, that I know of. I'm not a big night club person. I'm not much of a dancer so I never really go out. This should have not been an exception. But I wasn't in my right mind. I was stressed out. (Here I go with the excuses)… I didn't need him to keep stopping by in my life. He was giving me an out. Was he a man of his word? I don't know. But the cops weren't any help. Batman obviously wasn't on my speed dial. But first…let's start with the fact I'd somehow found my way into Joker's apartment.

After I fixed up his arm, we sat in silence for a while. I had fallen asleep. But something had jolted me out of my fragile rest. I don't know what it was- I'd like to say it was self-preservation. I love sleep. I usually get plenty of it. But the past few days have been awful. I guess being an idiot and making horrible decisions really wears you out. I was beyond frightened that I was still there. I'll tell you in case you never find out- there's nothing like seeing blood spilled all over your clothes and all around you for wakeup call. Everything falls into perspective a bit. There was no excuse for my behavior. I was treading down a dangerous path- far too dangerous for my taste. I looked over to him. He'd fallen asleep some point after me I suppose. He said he's not much of a sleeper but he'd lost a fair amount of blood. A fair amount was also on my shirt and coat. I was getting way too much blood on all my clothes. That's totally unimportant in the scheme of things…Anyway, he was off in slumber land somewhere, dreaming about whatever homicidal clowns dream about. His breaths were very slow. I don't know if it was the blood loss or him being tired, but he looked peaceful. Before I knew it, I had two of my fingers in his hair. It was obviously disheveled. I pushed some of it back. Now I looked at his face, his cheekbones, and his scars. I almost reached out for them but quickly stopped. What the hell was I doing? I retracted and sat back on the couch. I felt the overwhelming need to rationalize and to reflect on what I thought I was doing. But there was no time for that. I once again had the Joker defenseless next to me. He was all nuzzled up with one of the bloody towels I'd used a couple hours ago. It served as his pillow. I needed to leave. I got up as quietly as I could and put on my jacket and purse as I searched for the door. I made a fair amount of noise opening it but he didn't seem to stir. Maybe he'd lost so much blood that he'd slipped into a coma? That would definitely give me a break for a while. Did that even happen? That's what I get for studying liberal arts and not medicine…

I had no idea how to get out of this building. It was like a dreary funhouse- dark and creepy as hell. Except instead of mirrors there were white walls that bounced off fading the moonlight. I'd been out of his loft for almost several minutes but I was still inside somehow. I was in some middle atrium. There was no roof on the stairwell I'd reached. It was freezing and windy. I wrapped my arms around myself and started my ascension down. I wasn't greeted by anyone- not a soul. But that was fine with me. I had someone else's blood all over me and was in no mood to be friendly. It was likely he lived in an abandoned building. I feel like no one would want him as a neighbor…

I finally made it out. It was still quite dark in the neighborhood. But nothing out there could scare me. I embraced the cold open air and closed my eyes. I knew what I needed to do. This whole affair or whatever it was had to stop. I needed to stop being available to him. Cause let's not lie- I had been somewhat. I don't connect with a lot of people. It's not that I'm that dissimilar from everyone else I don't think. Well, I hope not; I think I'm just lazy. I've spent most of my life being disconnected from the masses or any group for that matter. Sure I had my close few, but that was all I ever wanted. That was all I needed. And then he came along. He immediately started whispering sweet, anarchical things in my ear. Joker is different. There's no pretense. In fact, he won't allow pretense. It was refreshing. It is stimulating. But, along with that comes something darker. It's like there's this point in my mind- in everyone's mind. We all recognize it. There's that one point that if you cross that certain line, or break that final rule, there's no going back. That's what he wants me to do. I'm not sure if everyone is capable of abandoning such or even if I am… but somehow he acknowledges me as a contender. His whole bit is turning people to his side. It's not like Star Wars though- the whole dark side and the force thing. No he thinks in terms of entropy. Joker wants to continually push. He doesn't see it as evil. He sees it as logical. He thinks like in science we all should engage in random, messy motion. He believes the masses to be predictable and chooses to separate himself from them. He wants to squash the desire for order and scramble it about. Like I've said, this stems from some horrible happenings in his life. The terrifying part is; I can see his point. If he just wrote a book about all of it like Thomas Pynchon, I might consider sticking around. And that's what scares me the most because he is so dangerous. As much as he believed it to be, this wasn't some game. This was my life. I'd had my sick and twisted adventure. But this had to stop. I couldn't continue down this path. Yes, there's a part of me that likes him. I get along with him and in some strange way he seems to understand me. And I'm attracted to him on a very palpable and strong level. But – I needed to tell on myself. This had gone on long enough. This wasn't conducive to my well-being.

I found a cab. I did have to walk a bit but I found one and hopped in. I took my phone out of my bag and turned it on to check the time. 4:49. At least it was still dark. But I was surprised. Had it only been a few hours? These last few 'hours' or whatever they were – were a blur. My mind dove into them. They were fresh with memories of fright, danger, touch. Joker had an odd smell of petrol, exotic spice, and some sort of cologne. His smell still lingered all over my person. I hadn't ever felt this, stirred by someone. But he was right. This wasn't love- nothing close to it. Love didn't want to hurt you. Love didn't want to consume you or eat your soul. The closest comparison to our relationship thus far was incubus/succubus. Every encounter was just one step closer to destruction/death. Though it's naturally assumed he'd be the demonic or mischievous sprite that caused me torment- I'd rather not think this endgame finished in my demise. If need be I'd be the demon.

It wasn't likely the police had noticed I'd been gone. Before I went to the club- I tried and tried to think of an alibi so they'd let me go without being intrusive. I couldn't come up with one. I thought back and wondered how the Joker had got in and out so easily? After thinking further I surmised that they still hadn't fixed the security footage at in the parking garage- I just went out that way. It was kind of scary easy.

I rested my head on the taxi window. I stared out at the shops passing by. One of them was open. An idea quickly surfaced.

"Could you pull over please!"

He looked to me strangely. "You just got in."

"I'm sorry. I remembered I forgot something."

"You want me to take you back?"

"Here will be fine." I tried to act as calm as possible. "Thank you."

He shook his head and pulled over. I gave him some cash and hopped out. I walked the opposite direction until he turned the corner. I whipped around and walked into an electronics store.

The clerks gave me a bewildered look. I'm sure I looked a little disheveled, disheveled and bloody. And it was still very early. They probably were criminals of some kind. What kind of electronics store needed to be open 24 hours?

"Can I help you?" One of them asked. His voice tinged with suspicion and curiosity.

"Yes, my…" It was probably better if I came up with some kind of story. "My little sister is going off to college in a few hours. My parents are refusing to get her a cell phone-they're really old fashioned."

"Okay?"

"I was thinking one of those…pre-paid ones would work well until she gets a job and all. Do you sell any of those?"

"Sure." The clerk muttered happily- looking strangely to the other two men in the store. He walked around the counter and took me to the right wall of the store. This was a little ridiculous- I only needed it for one call. Maybe I was being too careful. I picked the cheapest one- thirty dollars. That would be the most expensive phone call I'd ever make.

The clerk rang me up and I was on my way. I quickly ripped it out of its bag and threw the bag and packaging in a trash bin outside. I tried to ignore how cold it was this morning. Sometimes it seemed colder when it wasn't snowing. I don't know…anyways I turned the phone on. You didn't need to buy minutes to make an emergency call- I found out. (After buying the minutes along with the phone.) I walked a few blocks before dialing 9-1-1. I took a breath and inhaled the cold air into my lungs.

"9-1-1 please state your emergency."

Damn, this really wasn't an emergency per se- more like an impending doom on my part.

"I have information on the whereabouts of the Joker."

The operator was quiet for a moment. It wasn't an emergency but it was certainly an interesting call…

"Okay," She said. "Are you…being held captive?"

Well I'd already seemed to incriminate myself. I tried to get out of it. "No, I just was in Chinatown and I could have sworn I saw him walk into a building."

"Um, okay let me transfer you to the tip line…"

Before I could say anything, that's what she did. "Tip-line," An officer started. "I understand you have a possible location of the Joker." I bit my lip. I had to do this. But I was dejected. Sad and frightened- If I did this, it was going to get perilous for me. He'd see this as a betrayal. Well, it was…but it was for my own good. But I'm nothing if not resolute. This was my only chance. He was weak and practically comatose. And even if he wasn't… I wanted to believe I could handle a fight.

I quickly blurted out the address and hung up. I also tried to speak in a lower voice. Maybe he'd be confused of my gender. I laughed at myself a little. I had just done it. I gave the police his location. There really wasn't any way he wouldn't know it was me. Maybe I should have told Gordon…maybe an anonymous call wasn't the safest of ideas. It also wasn't the bravest-but I think it was the smartest. I would rather them think me some kind of brat that was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'd rather remain above suspicion in their eyes. Better that than the kind of girl that stays out all night with a homicidal clown and helps him beat up a mob boss, make out with said clown- then dress his gun wound.

My phone began to ring. I guess the police station had star 69-ed me. I quickly ended the call and ripped the back. I took off the sim card and threw it on the street. I also ripped the flip phone in half. It wasn't necessary after taking out the sim card- but it made me feel better. I threw the phone in yet another trash bin and hailed another cab.

I pulled out my own phone. It began to ring as I was staring at it. I almost jumped out of my skin. It was Commissioner Gordon. This was bad. Wasn't it? Maybe it hadn't worked out as well as I thought. I let the phone ring before I picked it up. I answered in a groggy voice.

"Hello?" The cab driver looked at me strangely. I tried to ignore him.

"Miss Archer?"

I had gone too far this time. I'd been caught. Well, maybe he couldn't get to me in prison? "Yes?"

"I'm sorry to wake you- It has been an interesting morning." I could tell he was driving somewhere rather quickly. I think I knew exactly where. But I reminded myself that innocent Jane didn't know anything about this. "Did, did you catch him?"

"Not yet, but we will. But right now- I just need you to stay put. Stay in your apartment. I'll send someone up if you feel uncomfortable."

"No, no I'm fine."

"Jane, this might be preemptive. But I just thought you should know there might be a development…I just needed to check in." He paused for a moment. "I know you have been through a lot I just wanted to let you know we're doing what we can."

This almost moved me to tears. I wasn't heartless- far from it. It just so happened my heart was ridden with guilt. He was a good man. I was a not-so-good person. I didn't deserve his help- or sympathy.

"Thank you, thank you so much."

"I'll call and inform you if there are any developments."

"If you have the time. I'm just fine right now. Don't make me a priority."

"Miss Archer, take care."

"Thanks, you too."

If my head wasn't reeling about the first phone call it was reeling about the second one. That was it. It was set in stone. I had drawn a line. I had told him that things would be different. I didn't explicitly tell him I would give the police his location. But he was smart enough to read between the lines. I felt guilty on all sides. I didn't know which side outweighed the other. In a dark, twisted alternate universe I could be with the Joker. I could enjoy it too. But that was fantasy. The reality was I was playing a stupid and treacherous match. And I was playing both sides… Were the police and Batman stronger forces than the Joker? Well, I would soon find out.

…

I had the cab driver drop me off a few blocks south of my complex. I would attempt to come in the back of the parking garage. I hurried as fast as I could without causing attention. I slid rather effortlessly through the shadows of the garage. My fingers and face felt frozen. I couldn't wait to get inside and take a hot shower before work…

I made it into the dark hallway. I sighed in relief as I pulled out my keys and put them in the door.

"Going somewhere?"

My body stiffened. I turned around to see a dark figure standing ominously behind me. Batman emerged from the shadows.

My mouth hung open. "I'm, going to a hardware store."

"You're lying."

"Excuse me?"

"You're just getting in."

I was immediately angry with him. I don't know exactly why. "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk."

"About what?" I spat.

"I know you're lying about some things. I need to know why- and what exactly you're trying to hide."

I sighed and opened my door. It's not like I could say no… "Come in."

…

There was no way I could tell him the whole truth. He'd throw me over his caped shoulder and take me to jail. And it would be justified. I felt guilty but I just couldn't bring myself to fess up fully. This was becoming a pattern, and not a very healthy one…I set out to do the right thing-I try to go along with the good guys and tell the truth. But I end up lying. These versions of mine- they're too far from what happened to be called truth. I wasn't helping anyone but myself.

I told him about the times Joker came to 'visit' me- parts of them. He was silent. I don't know what he was thinking. I explained that Joker told me if I went to the club that he'd leave me alone.

"And you believed him?"

I shrugged. "I don't know what to believe.

"So what happened at the club?"

It suddenly dawned on me that information was the only reason I wasn't in jail…they needed me to help catch him. I suppose this is why people commit perjury. Because if you tell the truth you end up in jail anyway! I really needed to stop justifying my actions. I was about to speak when his expression changed. He got up without excusing himself and went to the kitchen. He pulled out some gadget that looked like an I-Pad and started messing with it. I welcomed the break. My mind searched and searched. I needed to figure out what I'd say about the club…Because I certainly couldn't tell the truth.

-I'd gotten to the club about one forty or so. The bouncer gave me a strange look as I paid. I guess most people there were regulars. But he let me in anyway. When I got in my eyes immediately shot up to the ceiling. It was very tall and sprinkled with various types of lights that were swirling and twirling about. The whole place looked like one big spherical amphitheater. The music was awful, and awfully loud. You couldn't even hear yourself think. But I guess that was the point. People don't go to night clubs to have metaphysical dialogues. People certainly didn't dress for it either. It suddenly came to my attention that I was the most clothed woman in the place. I'd thrown on my jeans and a button up long sleeve top. It didn't even occur to me to dress up. I commended myself for a moment. I mean, at least I wasn't trying to look good for him. That's probably why the bouncer had stared. I looked like I was going to the grocery store.

As soon as I stepped in I immediately felt the urge to leave. This was obviously a mistake. He wasn't going to leave me alone. And if I remember correctly all he gave me was a nod, not even a verbal promise. My eyes scanned across the place. There was no sign of him luckily. But it was very crowded. He could very well be there somewhere. But I wasn't going to wait around. I quickly made my way up the stairs to the restroom.

Like any club it was hot and crowded. But I didn't care. I needed somewhere to isolate myself. After waiting my turn I pushed myself into one of the stalls and shut it. I took a deep and uncomforting breath. I needed to go home. I needed to call Gordon and tell him to put me in the relocation program. Well, that or the asylum.

It wasn't long after that I'd heard gunshots. Several of the girls screamed. But to my surprise all of them poured out of the restroom and left. That was odd. I opened the stall to find I'd had the place all to myself. I guess they knew the drill. Gunshots must just happen here sometimes. There's probably some exit strategy I didn't get the memo for. I heard voices running down the hall asking various questions like "what's going on?" At least I partially knew the answer to that. I didn't want to be a part of it. But I was, and it was my fault…

I'd emerged a few minutes later. All the action was going on downstairs. The club was almost completely cleared out. The men in suits were shooting at the men in clown masks. And Joker had that famous Italian mob boss by the throat.

I needed an exit strategy. If I stayed there was no getting out. I'd either be killed by one of the mob guys or I'd get shot by one of Joker's men. It was then someone grabbed my shoulder and yanked me around.

I almost yelped but he held a finger to his lips. He was a short man, about my height. He had orange hair and was very thin. He stared at me suspiciously.

"You're not dressed for a club. What are you doing in here? Are you a cop?" He suddenly asked.

I shook my head. "No, I just, I lost my group. I was in the bathroom and…"

"There are two back exits downstairs," He pushed me away. "I'd try the back right. It's likely no one will notice." He spoke dismissively and stared back down at the battle.

I looked at him strangely. "Aren't you coming?"

He moved his head slightly to look at me. It was a very placid expression. It only lasted for a second then he turned back to watch the fight. One of my little alarms went off. There was no reason for me to worry about him. I took off to the staircase.

So far no one had looked up. But that was just fine with me. It took a couple of minutes but I made it to the first floor. Now I just needed to make it to the exit.

The Joker had started a fire at the bar. And they were all so intent on killing each other that they didn't notice me. That was just dandy. I tried to stay behind couches and tables. The sides of the club had a lot of furniture I could duck under. I'd actually begun to crawl. Which was fine, I'm not above crawling. A chandelier fell down and shattered into a million pieces. I began to panic when one of Joker's men came running in my direction. I moved back against the wall into the shadows. But he was running directly towards me. My body tensed and a braced to fight him in whatever way I could. But before he made it, he fell to the ground. He had been shot twice straight through the chest and fell a few inches from my feet knocking over a lounge chair which put me straight into everyone's view. I panicked. I didn't want to be seen by anyone. I cringed as I reached for his clown mask and put it over my face and shoved my hair in it. I gave a brief glance at the dead body as I took his gun from his fingers. "I'm sorry." I whispered. Even if he wasn't dead he could barely hear me. The music was blaring…it was distracting and terrifying simultaneously.

This was a stupid idea. But at the moment, I couldn't think of anything better. At least no one would know who I was. I continued to crawl. I was about twenty feet to the exit. This was the homestretch. I would have to run for this one. I stood up slowly and continued to lean against the wall. I began to scan the club. It seemed all of the other clowns had fallen. Except Joker of course- He was squared off with Salvatore Maroni and one of his men. The other was dragging the body out of the clown I'd stolen the mask from. He looked over in my direction and I ducked. This was really stupid. Putting a clown mask on was making me more of a target. I yanked it off and centered my eyes towards him. Joker wasn't winning. He tried to fire the gun but it was out. I quickly convinced myself that it wasn't my problem. I had no loyalty to him. Nor did I need to develop any. I inched closer to the door and reached out for the handle. All the while I kept my eye on the situation. They were about to shoot him. Yes, I'd liked him but it was going to happen anyway. If not tonight then it would happen another time probably in the near future. I flashed back to my parking garage. He had saved me from that sniper. He even covered my bum and made it to where I wouldn't be implicated at the scene. But none of that was my fault… But in a way, he'd saved my life. They were all turned towards Joker. I could do it…I cursed like a million swear words under my breath as I ran up behind the mobsters. I put the mask back on. I took the gun and pressed it under the Italian's neck.

Batman came back and stared at me. I told him about the shootout in the club. I explained how I tried to get out but his men found me and thought I was one of Maroni's girls. Joker recognized me and took me with him…

I did tell him about afterwards…Not the almost-sex part but the whole going to his apartment and helping with the gunshot wound. In this version- it was because he 'made' me. I told him I'd luckily slipped out when he fell asleep.

"You went to the club; you said there was a conflict between the Joker and Maroni - Something about a copycat?"

"Yes. Okay, in the car the Joker's phone got a text. He asked me to read it. It was from someone he put down as "Whip it," the message said "Victor Zsasz, and Tally Marks." I shrugged. I felt bad for telling the Joker's secrets. I mentally slapped myself. I didn't need to feel bad… but I did anyways.

"Victor Zsasz…" Batman murmured. "He's a serial killer. Escaped from Arkham the night the toxin was released to the city."

"Yes. The Joker said he liked to carve his skin- a mark for each person he killed. From what I surmised, Maroni had hired him to imitate the Joker in some…attempt to lure the Joker out."

"Zsasz used to work for Falcone. He obviously still works for the Italian mob."

"Okay." I shrugged. "I don't know anything else."

"Why didn't you contact someone the first time the Joker came around? Didn't we have a deal?"

"It's not like I have your cell number or anything. And they were all during the day. They say you only come out at night."

"There are ways I could have helped you."

"So you're the Clark Kent type during the day? It will just so happen you show up without your costume and act inept as possible. But somehow manage to save me?" He was stoic. There was just no break with this guy. "Look, a part of me didn't call because I did not and for the record; still do not want to be used as bait."

"We needed to catch the Joker."

"Well I figured out another way. Could I trust him? Could I tell Batman he was anonymous? Well, I had a feeling he already knew."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

I wanted to be sure. The other part of me seemed to know this was far from over. I furrowed my brow. "Okay, then why are you here and not trying to help the police catch him?"

"After putting two and two together- that you are the one that most likely made the phone call…I thought he might be coming here."

So he was here to protect me. What a bitch I was being to him. I apologized for such. I might have seen the slightest smirk.

"You're not a bitch. You're just trying to survive this."

It was weird, hearing him use that word. "No I've been kind of discourteous- not to mention ill-mannered." I tried to speak with sincerity.

"For next time- I can give you a number," He started. "…A number where you can reach me. It's likely, when he gets away that you'll be one of his main targets. You calling the police on him might simply have angered him further."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. And all the while I thought I was being strategic." I spoke through a clenched jaw. A fresh wave of fear began to sink in my bones. Well, fear and anger. Batman was absolutely right. I did what I thought needed to be done. I thought I'd pull a fast one and get rid of my little problem. But the fact Batman was pointing it out really grinded my gears. I don't know why he brought out the brashness in me. In a way he and the Joker had that in common. It was an entirely different dynamic though. I'd have to reflect on that later.

He was silent for a moment. "You did what you thought needed to be done. I've yet to meet someone who has outwardly challenged him. It's bold."

Why was it I could be somewhat calm with Joker but tense with Batman? Or was I just all making this up in my mind? That was also likely. I could be making this up he might not sense it at all. But I still felt bad about it. I crossed my arms. "Look, I'm sorry I'm so… I think what's happening is you're getting all my fury and pent up aggression. I know you have to keep this persona for your…image because no one can be so, persistently impassive in real life." How was it I apologized and once again insulted him? I quickly changed the subject. "You wouldn't happen to know…a hardware store nearby?"

"What do you need at a hardware store?"

"A, a lock…I was going to buy a new lock for my apartment."

"I can, it can be arranged for you."

"Thanks but, I'm going to do this on my own. There's something about doing it by myself…I'll just know." I knew as soon as I finished talking there'd be an awkward silence. I was right. "Well, take it easy Batman. Let's hope you're wrong about the police not catching him."

"Let's hope." With that, he opened the door and disappeared.

…

My new lock was flipping awesome. It was called a Cyber-key. It absolutely cannot be picked because it has no keyway. It's all through a computer and password that I set up that no one knows. It cost a little bit, but it certainly gave me a bit more piece of mind. Though it took me an hour and a half to install it, I was pleased. I stood for a second and stared at it. I had a brief flutter of regret. If he wasn't arrested, this was definitely going to make someone even madder. It's weird, but I already kind of missed him...err the excitement. I quickly shook myself out of it. That was ridiculous and I had no business thinking that. I grabbed a granola bar from the pantry and made my way to the shower. I still had a bit before I needed to head off to work and cleaning clown blood off my body was a must.

I had missed work. I loved being there. It would be just me, my music, and the meat. That was how I liked it. That was how stress was relieved. I turned on the shower and peeled off my clothes. I would be tired but hopefully the coffee and adrenaline would get me through the day. I could sleep when I got home. I would have to if I was going to survive the fundraiser/benefit tomorrow. Those always lasted forever. Luckily Dr. Grant would have me come up with some excuse to leave early. But his ex-wife would be there. No, he'd stay the whole time. In turn I would have to stay a bit longer. I'd probably slip out anyway. I hate those things. Part of it has to do with having to dress up I think. I really have to be in the mood to do that. And you really had to look your best. Which was annoying…I have the feeling I'm just going to complain about everything for a while.

…

Work was just what I needed. I had my headphones on and I worked in the back while Tony watched television and sat upfront. I didn't mind. I'd rather work in the back anyway. I kept a very meticulous playlist. I liked to change it up every couple of weeks but I knew which songs I wanted. Which was why it was so surprising when I heard Neil Diamond. I halted my motion for a second. I hadn't put that on there. That must have been his doing. Sure enough- the next song was on the CD he'd made me as well. I was a little distressed by this. I tried not to dwell on it. But I couldn't help but wonder exactly when he had put this music on my player. They were all good songs- but that wasn't the point.

The problem with this playlist was all the songs were so incredibly penetrating. They were all very intense involving a relationship, sex, or both. A couple of them were obsessive, others were at least fanatical. See, I'd heard all the songs before but not in that context- not from him. He put a lot of thought into it. Which if it was anyone else it would be kind of sweet but from him it's just spine-chilling. Though, there was a strange sense of enchantment I got from it. There was a strange sense of enchantment I got from him. I almost threw the knife across the room when I looked up. Tony was standing in front of the table. He laughed at me.

"Why are you so jumpy Jane? Something is different about you this week."

"I guess I'm just feeling a little displaced. The whole- not being able to go to school thing is kind of getting to me." What a liar I was.

He nodded. "Well then, why not get off early today? Run and errand then go home."

That wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to stay here. It was safe here- safe in the respect it was normal.

"I have a delivery I need you to make. Then you go home. I demand you get some rest."

"A delivery?" That was odd. We rarely made deliveries.

"Yes, it is actually for that party you're going to tomorrow night."

"What is it?"

"Buffalo."

"Buffalo?"

"Someone really wants to impress. I have it all packed up in the back but I need someone to deliver it. I would ask Sal but he's big and scary looking. We don't want to scare such a special customer."

"Who's the client?"

"I'm not sure if it's him personally, but you know the party is at one of the hotels owned by Bruce Wayne. Apparently they are giving him an honorary degree from the University. He insisted on hosting the event at his expense."

"So he's throwing himself a party?"

"It was going to be a school event, but he stepped up when the venue…well your school was the venue."

"Ah, but he's buying his own reception food?"

"This I don't know. They just called us yesterday. I had to have it shipped in overnight from Montana."

"Wow." Tony knew more about this party than I did. Apparently it was a dinner, banquet, and show. And the honorary guest was kind of…throwing the party for himself.

"They paid us a good amount so I want to impress. If we had a public figure, Jane it would definitely be you."

"Aw shucks." I went over to the wash bay to clean myself off.

"So I will get you a cab, you will take it to the hotel and caterers." He handed me a slip of paper with the address to the hotel.

I shrugged. I guess that could be fun. "Alright." I grabbed my purse and put it around my shoulder and put on my jacket.

"It's heavy so we'll load it together. They say there is someone there to unload it for you." I followed him to the back to pick up the case. It was a large ice chest. My eyes widened.

"That many people are going to eat buffalo?" We picked up the chest and brought it out to the front.

"You must at least try some. I don't want to hear anymore of you just eating chicken."

I smiled as he hailed a cab. We packed the chest in the trunk and I climbed in the back.

"So I'll see you on Friday?"

Tony shook his head. "Take the weekend off."

"That's nice, but I don't need to."

Tony shook his head. "I don't care. You need to get some rest. You've practically ran this place for a couple of years now. Running it for the weekend won't kill me."

"Really, I'm fine."

-"Time is money." The cab driver informed.

"No discussion. See you no sooner than Monday." He shut the door.

…

I didn't want time off. I wanted things to be normal. I wanted them to go back to how they were. But, alas. I suppose life isn't always about what one wants…

The hotel was immaculate. I felt a little underdressed in jeans and boots. But a pea coat always dresses someone up. My green coat was my favorite. I'd just have to make sure I covered the small blood stain with my purse.

I was greeted by a woman in a black pencil skirt and reading glasses she obviously didn't need. She wore them too low to possibly see through them. She smiled curtly as she approached me. Not far behind a man in a pinstripe suit followed. He certainly needed his glasses for he was searching furiously on his clipboard.

"You're the…" She gave me an up and down. "Butcher?"

"Yes, I'm with DeLuca's. I have a delivery for the party tomorrow evening."

"The… Buffalo ?" The man looked up at me, hopeful he was correct.

I nodded politely.

Two men came out of the revolving doors. Without asking, they went to the cab and grabbed the ice chest.

"Follow me." The woman said as she started walking back into the hotel. Her clipboard assistant trailed her.

I followed curiously. The lobby was all marble. All marble and all black. "Do I need to sign a receipt or…?"

She sighed and turned around impatiently. "You need to go and give instruction."

"Instruction?"

"Instruction on how to cook the meat from your store… you are the butcher aren't you?"

"I'm a butcher."

"Let's not be sarcastic. This is a big event with lots of important people. Mr. Wayne wants to impress. Now if you please, follow me." She took off without another word. Clipboard guy lingered behind.

"Sorry, she gets stressed whenever she plans parties for Bruce Wayne. It's nothing personal."

I had half a mind to punch her in the face. Hopefully that was just bottled-up stress from the past few days…

…

The ballroom was enormous. The tables were set elegantly and the stage was pristine and grand in its own right. It was daunting to look at all the place settings. Buffalo was not the only thing they would be serving…Each table was set up in the style of a Japanese steak house. The table was the skillet or pan if you will. Its entire surface served as such with appropriate wooden sides to eat upon. Each was circular and sat ten. There were about twenty of these. I sighed. Leaving early might be harder than I originally imagined.

The men came in with the ice chest. They took a couple filets out and placed them on the table. They took the rest to the back somewhere.

"He'll be here shortly." Fake glasses informed me and walked off. Clipboard was right on her tail.

Okay…I thought to myself. Who would be here shortly? I sat down in one of the chairs. All I could do was wait I suppose…

-"Sorry about the delay." A voice came from behind me. I turned and stood up.

"Bruce Wayne." He extended his hand. "You're…DeLuca?"

"I'm Jane. I work at DeLuca's." Well this was a surprise. I've met such a variety of people this past week.

"Oh, well these party planners…they don't exactly relay information the same way we normal people do…it's all shortened abbreviations and acronyms…" He laughed. "So you're a butcher?"

Here it goes. I've got this countless times…

"I'd expected a big, six foot, three hundred pound…"

"That's my boss." I smiled through my teeth. It wasn't his fault he was unoriginal.

He laughed appropriately. "Well, I must say it's a very, enjoyable and pleasant surprise."

Oh dear…I was in no mood for that. "Did you have any…questions or concerns I can help you with?"

"Yes, I did. I needed some proper instruction on how to cook this. Being I'm a novice at the whole Buffalo thing…"

"Don't the…chefs usually need to know that?"

"Well it just so happens I'm going to be a chef. For my table anyway…"

"Interesting… I wasn't aware guests of honor took such an active role in their receptions."

He gave me a strange look. "How do you know so much about this party?"

"I'm actually attending tomorrow night."

"Oh, do butchers usually take such an active role in seeing how their products turn out?"

Touché. "I work as an assistant to a Professor that's attending. It's sort of, another job of mine to attend."

"Ah, a woman of many masks."

I lowered my brow a little. He was a little more astute than the papers and tabloids let on. But did I need any more high profile men involved in my life? I think not…not that I was interested. "So tell me, what are your concerns?"

"Everything. I want to impress my table by cooking the buffalo, but I don't know how so…"

This I could handle. Meat- I knew. Meat- I was comfortable with. "Okay…well the first thing to remember is that it is highly similar to beef and can be interchanged in… virtually all beef recipes. But Buffalo meat is very lean. It needs to be handled and cooked a bit differently."

He lifted the two filets from the table and slightly waved them. "Could I encourage a visual demonstration?"

Seriously? I wasn't a chef. "I don't have the tools utensils or…"

He pulled out a drawer from under the table. It had all cooking utensils, spices and oils you could imagine. I shrugged. "Okay, let's get started. Do we…have a place to wash our hands? We wouldn't want anyone getting sick."

He looked around, then back to me.

I searched under the little bay area and found a box of gloves. "Here we go." I handed a pair to him, and then put some on myself.

He seemed pleased, and eager to learn. I took off my jacket and set it aside. I rolled up my sleeves. He appropriately readied himself as well.

"So how many jobs do you have exactly?"

I wasn't in the mood for small talk. I wasn't in the mood for this…but I didn't want Tony to miss out on such a big client- "Just the two. Are you ready?"

He took off his jacket and looked around. Out of nowhere a man came up and took it for him.

"Two drinks as well." He ordered, and then looked to me. I shook my head.

"Just the one then." He nodded for the man to fetch the drink. "Don't tell me you're one of those stuck up-prude women that keep to their work and never have any fun?"

"Um, no just not thirsty." I was biting the side of my cheek. Maybe the papers weren't really that far off- what a tool! I couldn't hold my tongue for much longer.

By now, the man had returned with a drink. Bruce took off his gloves and swigged it down. "Nothing like a scotch."

I tried really, really hard not to roll my eyes. I decided I'd ignore this and get to work. "The only mistake you can make about cooking Buffalo is comparing the time to cooking a steak. Like I said it has minimal fat therefore it has hardly any insulation." I turned on the stove table and spread a little oil. "Have you ever cooked a steak before?"

"I…" He seemed to be having trouble recalling. He looked at me and smiled. He shrugged unashamedly. I had to hold back the urge to laugh.

"Well, we can keep it on high heat then since we don't have to worry about comparing it to cooking steak." I unwrapped the packaging. He put his gloves back on and did the same with his.

"It is flawless meat as you can see with no marbling. It would be best to keep it chilled or even slightly frozen until tomorrow night since cold meat takes longer to cook. And this is only really good or…it's at its best when medium or rare. Turn the dial to high."

He did such then raised his eyes to me.

"Okay, we can put it on now."

"Do we want to add any spices or…"

"Uh, if you want. But it's a very worthy and tender taste. I wouldn't want to overpower it. Just the slightest hint of pepper would be okay. But as long as we use EVOO or butter, if you want to marinate- it will be great."

He looked to the filets. Should we flip them?"

"Not just yet, to retain more juices, and reduce the risk of overcooking, let's only flip it once."

"When should we do that?"

"When I tell you to."

"Yes mam."

I smirked. Cheeky bastard…I would have been much more comfortable if he were more intently studying the filet than me. "Usually cook both sides three or four minutes. I'd also press down on the cooking meat once or twice after flipping the wake up the juices."

…

"Alright then," He turned off the burner and pulled out a plate. He took the tongs and put the filets on it. He stared at me for a moment. "Is that your natural hair color?"

I tried to ignore this, but he asked again. "Yes."

He nodded. "It's pretty."

Thanks for your approval. I thought to myself. I couldn't bring myself to verbally thank him for the compliment. I felt his flirting was somehow inappropriate. It wasn't like I was attached…I couldn't figure out why I felt that way.

"Shall we try it out?" He pointed towards the meat.

I shrugged. "You go ahead. Taste your efforts."

He sat down with a fork and knife. He closed his eyes as he chewed and swallowed. "That's amazing." He looked up to me. "You know a lot about what you do. It's obviously something you're very passionate about."

"Well, everybody has something."

He shook his head. "I wish that were true. Trust me, not everyone has a discernible passion."

"Sure they do."

He smiled a little and sat his plate down. That was my cue. "Well, you're all set." I smiled and started to gather my things.

He seemed a little shocked. "I've heard of eating and running…but you haven't even eaten. Are you sure you don't want a drink?"

"I'm not really much of a drinker…" Aside from my most recent late night wine-fest. "Thanks though."

"I knew it. You're a conservative spoilsport. You're very pretty but no fun at all."

I couldn't hold it in…my anger was overwhelming my tact…here goes. "Look, I don't know what makes you think you can talk to people you just met that way, but you don't know me. You haven't the slightest idea of my personality. I did you a favor today- This was nowhere in my job description. Even if I were a prude or spoilsport- that is none of your concern. Show some degree of professionalism."

He stood there and absorbed my admonishment. His eyes shifted to the left. "I'm…sorry. It wasn't my intention to offend you. I was just having a little fun."

Maybe it was the stress, maybe because of the past few days I was just used to telling men what for…But like with Joker and the Batman, I felt bad.

"I'm sorry to attack you; I've had a stressful past few days. I was harsh."

"Maybe I needed it."

Now I felt really bad. It was time for me to go. "It's just, I really should get back." I couldn't bring myself to say 'work.' Even though I was already technically lying…

"Oh, of course…I'm sure you have lots more to do today. Thank you for your help Jane."

"No problem." I nodded. "Nice meeting you."

He nodded as I walked off. He was sending me some very confusing signals. It's not like he was checking me out necessarily…more like- he was studying me under a microscope. It was a little overwhelming. And then I went and made him feel horrible. But maybe he was right- maybe he did need it. I was right to ignore his advances. Even if he was the nicest guy in the world, I wasn't exactly available for dating…in various senses of the statement.

"One more question…" He walked up behind me. I turned.

"The caterers…I…what kind of wine would you suggest?"

"Well, I'm not really a chef, but I'd go with beer."

"Beer?" He spoke incredulously. "Don't you think that's a little informal?"

"Well serving buffalo is unorthodox. Unorthodox and informal go together quite nicely. As will buffalo and beer."

He pursed his lips and smiled. "Good point. Thanks again, I look forward to seeing you tomorrow night."

I nodded. "Yes." That was all I could say, because I wasn't looking forward to tomorrow night at all.

…

So I have this dress. It's silk, navy, and strapless with a small brown belt to tie it together. I've worn it to the past four soirees with no complaints. It's simple enough to where I'm pretty comfortable in it. Well, as comfortable a girl can be in a cocktail dress and heels. It was freezing but it had stopped snowing I think for the day. That was good. Even though it was at a nice hotel, you still had to commute there. But I would definitely be taking a cab. Any Gotham girl knows not to take the subway after six dressed to impress…I took one glance in the mirror. I thought I looked pretty. Pretty but tired. This was my new permanent look apparently. I didn't get much sleep last night. Not because of any unwanted visitors or anything…but because of a call I'd gotten from Commissioner Gordon. He called to let me know that there was a lead but they had not caught the Joker. I wasn't terribly surprised. But that didn't stop me from being awake most of the night half-anticipating his angry arrival. But he never came. I took a mental note of this. Who knows…maybe he was done with me. Maybe he got the hint and decided to move on. I didn't know how to feel about that. Firstly, I didn't think that was true. I'd gone almost two days without any contact. A part of me was already kind of used to his constant insertions and not having them was kind of strange. I was left feeling uneasy and a bit on edge. So basically, I was in a cheesy horror movie. - Just when you think you can relax the bad guy pops out of the shower and stabs you several times with a dirty knife. But my shower curtain was drawn back, and real life didn't always work like the movies…maybe I actually was going to be okay. Maybe he wasn't going to bother me anymore. And maybe, hopefully, eventually I would stop thinking about him.

I always shared a cab with Dr. Grant to these things. When I got outside he was being grilled by the police. They'd asked for his ID and everything. I nodded to the lieutenant and his partner.

"Just be sure to check in when you get back."

"I will." I assured as I climbed in the cab.

"Jesus kid, you have to go through this every time you go out?"

"Just about…"

Dr. Grant looked nervous. This was probably because his ex-wife was going to be there. He was still in love with her. I only knew what he told me; but it seems the only reason they split is that they never really saw each other. I thought I'd distract him.

"Oh so, we're having buffalo."

" Buffalo ?"

"Yeah, I actually delivered it yesterday…it's going to be quite a party."

"So you delivered the food and you're going to eat it?"

"That's right. And I met Bruce Wayne."

"Really? You're just meeting all kinds of illustrious men…"

I gave him a look. He laughed.

"He was there while they were setting up everything…He'll be one of the chefs. He wanted me to show him how to cook buffalo."

"I'll bet he wanted to cook your…"

"Don't even finish that sentence. He had requested help from the butcher. He didn't know who it would be."

"Sure kid."

I shook my head.

"This has got to be one of the most ridiculous parties." He started. "First it's a scholar's colloquium. We were just going to hand out a couple of awards. Then they change it… Now we're giving out an honorary degree...having dinner and then an opera…" He shook his head. "I guess we're partying it up since half the school is burnt toast."

I shrugged. "Don't you find his involvement…I mean his depth of involvement in his own party…strange?"

"Who Wayne?" He shrugged. "I guess we really don't know what goes on in a billionaire's head. Who knows what he's does or thinks when others aren't around."

I shrugged but nodded in agreement. We were at the hotel now. A man opened the cab door for us. "Welcome. Will you be staying with us or are you here for the Banquet?"

"The Banquet."

"Well, if you sign in with Judith in the lobby someone will escort you to the ballroom and your seats."

Dr. Grant and I shared a glance as we walked into the lobby. "Well isn't this fancy." He commented.

Wouldn't you know it; Judith was my new best friend fake glasses I'd made the day before. She gave me a strange look. She was a little taken aback. "Hell…Hello." She smiled.

"Hi. How are you?"

"I'm fine." She swallowed. "Could I get your names please?"

"Dr. Grant, Jane Archer- We represent the underappreciated and underpaid anthropologists." Dr. Grant jested.

She gave him a strange look then searched her list. She glanced up at me, then back down to the list. It was as if she was discovering some shocking truth.

"Is everything alright belle?" Dr. Grant spoke in the friendliest southern accent you've ever heard.

She pressed her lips to a smile and nodded. "Of course, right this way…"

She led us into the grand ballroom which was even more lavish than the day before. It was incredibly decorated and glowing with a dim but amiable light. Scads of people were seated already- the sound of the several conversations created that dull roar you always hear in large crowds. Judith led us to our seats. "You enjoy your evening." She quickly sauntered off.

"Wow," Dr. Grant looked around. We're in the front, center stage." He looked around. "Half of these people don't even know there is an anthropology department."

"Tell me about it. Maybe it's a mistake."

We were soon joined by the Dean and his wife. Yes, the dean of the entire University. He greeted us with slight confusion.

"Dr. Grant, how are you? You remember Carol?" He just nodded towards me. Who was I? I'm just a student that put money in his pocket. You're welcome…

"You think they got the names mixed up?" I muttered. He laughed slightly.

The next guest was a shock, and shook things up a bit. It was Tonya von Dresner. The worldwide-acclaimed Opera singer and my Professor's ex. She was accompanied by an unidentified male…that she didn't seem to want to introduce. No one else seemed to say anything. He kind of stood off behind her. Oh high-society…

"Kingsley," She spoke with a thick Austrian accent. She was beautiful. She had a short, sophisticated brown bob and a white long sleeved dress. She was a portrait of elegance. It was kind of amusing to imagine my Southern Comfort-esque Professor coupled with her.

He rose and helped her to her seat. "It's good to see you Tonya."

"Ebenso." She gave him a seductive smile. "You look well."

"As do you sugar..." He flirted. I smiled slightly. I was glad this wasn't awkward for him. Though I can't think of an instance where Dr. Grant seemed uncomfortable.

"My assistant/grad student… Jane."

"Jane." She smiled gracefully. "Kingsley has told me so much about you." Well, that wasn't true. He'd barely spoken to her in years. I guess that's just a polite thing people say.

"Nice to meet you." I smiled. I was already ready to go. But, then again…things were just getting more and more interesting.

-"Mr. Mayor! Evelyn!" The Dean stood up and shook the Mayor's hand. He kissed the hand of the Mayor's wife. I guess he'd forgotten to show that courtesy to me of Dr. Grant. My eyes widened as I looked towards my professor.

"We're going off half-cocked this evenin'." He muttered to me through his teeth.

"You can say that again." I smiled as the Dean introduced everyone around the table.

"It's nice to meet you all." Mayor Garcia nodded, and then looked up behind us. "Now there's the man of the hour."

Bruce Wayne came up and gave the Mayor a sturdy handshake. He came and stood to the chair next to me. "Dean Holbrooke, Carol, Evelyn…" He started.

Carol smiled. "Have you been around the rest of the table Bruce? This is Tonya von Dresner." She skipped over her unidentified man-date.

"It's a pleasure to meet the man of the hour."

He lowered his head. "The pleasures all mine." He flirted and kissed her hand. I rolled my eyes…cheesy.

"This is Dr. Grant. Dean of the Anthropology Department and his assistant…"

"Jane." He interjected. Carol gave him a look of surprise. "Jane and I are old friends."

Carol began to eye me suspiciously. Dr. Grant snickered.

Everyone started to sit down and began to get settled. It seemed I would be the only one to feel awkward…

"So tell me Mr. Wayne," Tonya started. "How is it you know Jane?"

"Well, it's a funny story actually. She helped me…" He was interrupted by the sound of a loud speaker thumping on. It was so loud; it brought everyone's conversations to a halt. After that, classical music began to play.

"I certainly hope I will not be that loud when I sing!" Tonya laughed and prompted everyone else at the table to start a light chuckle. The man was coming around pouring champagne. I went ahead and took a swig when no one was watching.

Tonya tilted her head. "So Bruce, go on…"

The speaker once again popped. It sounded as if someone were changing the music. "You Belong to Me" started playing by the Dupree's. My heart sunk. It actually began to flutter nervously. That song was all too familiar. That song was on my playlist Joker had made me. I shook my head. It was a popular song. It had been played and played for almost fifty years now. I needed to stop being paranoid. Bruce gave me a glance as I was taking another drink. "Are you alright?"

"Just a little startled."

"Well, I was a little startled when we met." He spoke louder, inviting everyone else into our conversation. "See, Jane here, is a butcher."

"A butcher? How odd." Evelyn remarked.

Everybody had an opinion…

"She helped to teach me how to prepare and cook tonight's dinner."

"Oh really?" Dr. Grant elbowed me almost sarcastically.

"Really." I nodded passively. My only goal was to get through this night…if I could just make it through this night I'd be okay.

Luckily some more people came to the table to greet all of our distinguished dinner buddies so they were distracted. There words were jumbled and soon became lost in a sea of useless chatter. It was all boring praises for Bruce and Tonya. That was good because I could barely concentrate. Bruce was burning holes on my person. I could feel him almost constantly staring at me. But even that barely bothered me. The song was almost over. I was intently listening to see what the next one would be. So much so I was practically holding my breath. Things were alright though. It went on to play a song by Billie Holiday. I let out a large breath. Dr. Grant nudged my elbow.

"You okay kid?"

I nodded. "Yeah it's just...I'm on edge after the past few days…"

He sighed, looking a little guilty. "You can go home if you want. You don't have to stay here."

"I'm fine. I just got rattled there for a second. It's hard to explain."

"I just thought you might want to go back to normal…but it seems this night is quite strange."

"That's exactly what I want. I want to go back to normal. It's just…" The next song started. It was "Stepping out with My Baby" by Fred Astaire. My heart began to flutter again. I wasn't necessarily scared. It was more of just a growing urgency. I needed to leave. My change in character suddenly drew the attention of more than just Bruce and Dr. Grant. Their eyes were all glaring at me strangely. I didn't want anybody to be harmed. But sadly, because I'm a horrible person… that wasn't my biggest worry. I really didn't want to be the center of attention. Like I said; the Joker didn't care for pretense. He didn't care if he embarrassed me and ousted me in front of all these people. He was a loud, undeniable force. He was just like the loud speaker, he'd burst into my life. That's why I knew it was him. I couldn't ignore it. I couldn't ignore him. The music stopped mid song- everyone looked around and began to complain at the invisible yet horrible DJ. "Who's Sorry Now" by Connie Francis began to play. This wasn't on the playlist but it was certainly meant for me.

"Okay I need to leave." I said a little too loudly.

Dr. Grant and everyone else at the table looked at me gave me strange looks.

Dr. Grant pulled me up and away from the table. "Excuse us." He announced as we walked off. "You just said you were fine…Jane tell me what's going on."

"I have to go. Don't follow me, Just…if you don't hear from me in the next day or so…"

"Jane!"

I shook my head. "I have to go." I went back to the coat check to grab my coat and purse. The guy could not have been any slower. But I finally got my things. I put my jacket on and headed to a side exit.

The hall was dark. Maybe I really was in a horror movie. I took a breath and started down it. I would face whatever came up or behind me. I'd have to face it eventually. A part of me was a bit excited. I mean, at least I got to leave the party… I told that part of me to shut up. I stuffed it down deep inside. Another part of me thought I should have brought a weapon. Maybe it was that last thought that had me swinging when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Bruce barely dodged my assailing fist. He laughed a little.

"Are you that afraid I'll undercook the buffalo?"

I sighed and lowered my hands to my side, what an egotist! "It's not that."

"Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine. I just…I need to go."

"Go where? It's not like you didn't plan to be here tonight."

"I…I forgot I had to…" For the life of me I couldn't think of an excuse. But you can't really blame me; I was under a little duress.

"You can't even think of an excuse." He took a step back. "Look, I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday. You probably think I'm…I put you at my table as a way to apologize. So you could see that I could behave…"

I was only half listening to him; I didn't have time for his little existential crisis.

"Bruce, it's okay. This isn't because of you." I yelled a bit. "I have had…in these past few days…" I took a breath. "I can't explain, I just need to leave and you need to go back with everyone in the party." I looked around. No sign of him- no sign of anyone.

"Are you rejecting my apology?"

I growled a bit. "Jesus Narcissus this isn't about you. I HAVE TO GO." I didn't let him say anything back. I was leaving. I pushed my way through the closest door I could find. I'd made my way into the kitchen. The staff stared at me strangely. I shrugged a bit sheepishly. "Where's the nearest exit?"

One of the chefs pointed at the opposite end of the kitchen. "Bad night?"

"You could say that." I nodded. "Thanks."

The chefs smiled and nodded as I hurried across the enormous room as they all watched me. But finally, I was outside. It was the side of the hotel, an alley. I took a deep breath and relaxed for a second against the wall. I was finally out. It was quiet- quiet but freezing. I didn't really have a plan. I guess I'd just go home. I kind of felt like this little face-to-face with the Joker was inevitable. I kind of just wanted to get it over with. Of course being the head-case I was- I was kind of looking forward to it. The other side of me wanted him locked up and out of my life. I thought about calling the Commissioner. He'd come pick me up, or meet me at my apartment. But I really had nothing to report.

Yes I was at this party when songs from the mix tape he made me started playing. I got panicked and left. That didn't exactly justify police protection. Maybe I was losing my grip. Maybe leaving wasn't the best of ideas. Now I was alone. There was no one there just in case he really did want to kill me. That was a likely assumption.

I decided I wasn't doing anything in the alley. Basically I was dangling myself in the open for him. Alleys are a bad guy's playground. I started to walk to the front of the hotel. My only plan of action was to hail a cab and go home.

I started walking when I saw a figure walking towards me. I squinted a bit, but I couldn't make out if I knew whoever it was. As I got closer, I could tell it wasn't the Joker. He has a walk about him- it's inimitable.

The man gave me a slight nod as he walked down the alley. He was in all black with a white collar.

"Good evening." He may or may not have murmured as he passed me. I pursed my lips. He was a priest. That was random- what was a priest doing in an alley in the middle of the night? I quickly shrugged it off. It was none of my concern.

"Excuse me, Miss!" He suddenly called back to me. I turned but kept heading towards the front of the hotel. He may be a priest but that doesn't mean I'm going to consort with him in an alley.

"You dropped this!" He held up an object in his hand. I couldn't make it out. But whatever it was he was bringing it towards me.

Gotham City Rule of the Streets #1-

If someone you don't know says "You dropped this," Ignore them. They are either a criminal or a thief.

I continued to head forward, but his pace was a little faster than mine, he wasn't wearing heels. As he got closer I took another look at his face. He was familiar. I'd seen him recently. I just couldn't remember where…I stopped for a second.

He was getting closer now. My eyes focused to what he was holding.

"Shit." I remarked and began to run. I certainly hadn't dropped a syringe.

I could hear his pace quicken as well. This was just great. I really was in a horror movie. I'd be alright though as long as I didn't trip…There would be people, at least a doorman in front of the hotel. If I could make it I'd be safe. This alley went on forever. It was then I made the fatal mistake- I turned around to look at him. This was a bad idea. It was bad because I wasn't watching where I was going and I tripped on something. And down I went- cliché and all. It didn't take long for him to stand over me and stab my neck with a needle. Fade to black.

…

I didn't know where I was but it was freezing. I was still outside. And I was either blind- or blindfolded. I shifted around a bit to discover my hands were bound to whatever chair I was sitting in. My head felt dizzy and my body thrown around. This definitely was not good.

I remembered the man now. He was the creepy little guy that was at the club. It threw me off because he was dressed like a priest. I sighed and tried to pull at my constraints. As I moved around a bit more I realized I wasn't blindfolded…but there was a sack over my head. I could see some city lights or something through it. But I had no idea where I was. I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to know. I could be an inch away from a ledge or something. The only plan I had was to get out of the restraints. I did not want to be tied up.

It was then I heard a door of some kind opening. I could pretend I was still unconscious- that was an option. Or I could just get it over with and face my captor.

"I saw her, I was going to the party to try and catch her alone. But she left out the side so I didn't have to."

So he wasn't alone. And yes, leaving by myself was a stupid idea.

The moment of truth was now. I couldn't pretend I was asleep. I kept my eyes steeled and open. I was ready. He pulled the sack off of my head. Now it was cold like everything else. My eyes immediately looked past my captor to his guest- who burst into laughter.

I flexed my hands angrily and nervously. The Joker was still laughing.

"Look, this one…she was at the club…then she got in a cab- I followed her and there were cops at her apartment complex- she's an undercover cop. And she's working with the mob somehow. I know she has to be involved in the murders of the girls." He was less stable now this man. He had a knife in his hand and it was shaking. Don't get me wrong, the Joker scares the hell out of me but this guy was getting a little too close with the knife.

"Well this is curious. What a twist of fate!" Joker remarked as he gave jumped about and paced around.

I looked at my surroundings. We were on a roof I think. And my jacket was pushed back because my arms were. It was freezing. I turned and looked back towards my company. "You brought me up here?" I indicted the Joker. I should have known.

"Surprisingly not," He shook his head and laughed some more. "But you know it's making me rethink my whole philosophy on divine providence."

The orange haired man with the knife looked back and forth between us. "You know her?"

"I don't know…do I?" He spoke to him but looked at me. "You might be right- she might be a cop." He walked behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. "You know Janie- Blaine doesn't like cops."

"I'm not a cop."

"Now isn't that just what a cop would say?" Joker remarked. He was toying with both me and this Blaine fellow. Blaine however didn't seem to catch on. His breathing was accelerated and his eyes were ablaze. He took the knife and steadied it. He took a quick jab towards me. I tried to move back as far as I could with no avail. But Joker took the chair and leaned it back on only two legs where Blaine's assault missed me. Blaine looked up to him- confused as all get out.

The Joker came from around the chair and kicked Blaine to the ground. "I did not say you could touch her." His voice turned deep and menacing. It was horrifying. I had never heard it in person- only on his news videos.

"But she's a cop she..."

"She's not a cop. And you are not allowed to try and stab her." Joker informed as he turned towards me. "This is who I have to talk to when you're not around."

I didn't know how to react. He had just saved me. I think…all I could do was shrug. Blaine was getting up now- he had a sort of rage in his eyes-a blood lust. All of it was directed towards Joker. I gestured with my head and Joker turned around as Blaine tackled him. It pushed my chair back a little. It was getting a little too close to the side of the building. And I didn't know how tall this roof was.

Now Blaine was a much smaller than Joker. He was no taller than me but he was a good fighter. The two scuffled for a few moments before I could even tell if anyone had the upper hand. And honestly- I didn't know whose side I was on. I guess the Joker's. I mean he hadn't tried to stab me…yet.

Blaine got free and ran towards me. He put his dirty knife around my throat. I was dazed, numb and cold. I didn't want to die…but there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it.

"You seem to want to protect her." Blain surmised.

I was apprehensive to say anything. Did he want to protect me? Because I did not mind at the moment if he did…but his face certainly didn't look protective. It looked confused. He didn't know what he wanted…of course he didn't. But he was getting there. 

"Well, you're certainly not going to kill her…" he informed him. Joker took a gun and shot Blaine in the shoulder. He fell backwards over the ledge. But he managed to catch the side with his good arm.

Joker didn't look at him. He looked at me. I was petrified…That type of fear and exhilaration where adrenaline rushes to all various parts of your body. I tried to steady my breathing. But the fear wouldn't let me…the fear and the freezing temperatures. I guess it's also what stopped me from speaking.

Blaine had somehow managed to pull himself back up. He walked around my chair in front of me facing Joker. He held a knife shakily and pointed it towards him. Then he looked back at me but I couldn't move my gaze from Joker. Joker tackled and was on top of him in a flash. He gave Blaine a devastating blow to the head with the handle of the gun. He repeated this action three or four times with various feral growls to his opponent. Blaine resisted the first two times…but after that he pretty much became a pile of blood and bones.

I took a breath, and then loudly let it out. I didn't know whether or not I could be relieved.

Joker straightened his bloodied self and straightened his jacket and turned to me.

"So, Janie…how've you been?"

True I had seen him murder before. But I was in shock. This was different. I pretended not to be but I was. This was exactly what I was afraid of. I was a irrational…bad person just like him. I was glad Blaine was dead. He was threatening me and that threat was eliminated. I couldn't help but see that there was a sort of recognition that resonated between us. I swallowed.

"Thank you." The murder was gruesome. It scared me to no end. But a part of me was glad. What a sicko I was…"Can you untie me now?"

"Oh, I think there's still time." He grabbed my chair and pulled it further away from Blaine's body.

"How's your arm?"

"Why? It's sweet you are concerned." He furrowed his brow. "But…based on the way you're looking at me- I don't think that's why you're asking."

"You're right…I need to know your weaknesses. You do have me tied up here. I need to weigh my circumstance."

"Wait…is Janie girl…scared?"

I hadn't realized I was visually shaking, but I was. Well, hell yea I was scared. I wasn't really in control of my life at the moment. But he didn't need to know that.

"It's below freezing…and my jacket is pulled back with my restraints."

"Like I said- there is plenty of time to be untied…but first we need to have a little talk."

"Could you at least fix my jacket? Joker please?"

He looked at me like I was his next meal. He growled playfully and walked towards me and pulled my jacket up around my chest. "That's an awful nice dress Janie. Were you trying to impress someone?"

"Look, I know that…I've sent some…confusing signals…"

"Stop it Janie. You know you missed me."

I couldn't deny that. But I wasn't going to verbalize it.

"You called the police on me…the police Janie? Really? Did you actually think that…"

"I don't know what I thought. But I'm not going to apologize for it."

"I wouldn't expect you to."

"I told you that night the next day would be different."

"Yes but you really didn't warn a guy as to just what you meant." He lowered himself in my lap and wrapped his arm around me, anchored by the back of the chair.

"What are you doing?"

"You were…freezing."

"You fixed my jacket."

"Like that's going to help…there's nothing better than body heat…and what about me?"

"Are you going to kill me or what?"

"Janie, Janie…always ruins the moment."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"I haven't decided yet, somehow even though you're playing both teams…I find you…charming."

"Yeah for me."

"Tell me how much you missed me."

"I'd be more inclined if you would untie me."

"No, you'd be less inclined. See, you're like this little lioness. In chains or behind a cage one can just pretend you're a kitty cat."

"I still don't understand…I'm not that interesting or complicated."

"There you go selling yourself short. Could we please just drop the act?"

"You were playing songs from the CD…" I reminded him- trying to change the subject.

"You got the point?"

"Yes, it was very clear."

"You can't keep pretending."

I knew that. I knew that all too well. "I did- I stopped pretending. I called the police on you I chose my side."

"Nu-uh. That was you running scared…but you weren't running from me."

"That's exactly what I was doing."

"You were running from yourself." Something was different about him tonight. I could feel it. He was confused and hostile- more than usual. But his hostility wasn't directed towards me- thank God.

"Will you please untie me now?"

"Doesn't feel good does it?"

"Let me loose."

"What an interesting choice of words. Sure, I'll let you loose." Without warning- he stuck his tongue down my throat. It was forceful and feral. I still managed to keep my calm demeanor. But I began to feel it again. The excitement- the acknowledgement I was doing something wrong- that I wanted to be consumed by it. We all seem to fall for the bad boy- but I was taking it to a whole new level. It was impossible to justify what I was doing…but I'd try.

I was tied up, I couldn't exactly get free.

But there was one little problem- the fact that I was kissing him back. Was this some form of catharsis? Was I trying to let go of all the stress this evening had caused…no. He was the source of my stress…but that had quickly changed he was now a source of my body heat…and all other types of heat.

Fuck.


	6. The Things We Couldn't Kill

**Chapter Six: The Things We Couldn't Kill**

"_You chew my mind up…"_

I read a book once or an article…a scholarly journal if you will. Well I don't remember what it was exactly. I read a lot. But I'm a busy guy. I shouldn't be expected to keep track of where I read or hear things. Anyway, it was about the phenomena of semantic satiation. Semantic satiation is the act of repeating a word long enough; it temporarily loses its meaning. I've tried it several, several times in some of my slower-moving days. Mostly I used the word "wall" because…well that's all I was staring at for months. I would rock back and forth- because that's what they expect from patients in an asylum. They'd put me in a strait-jacket the day before. I'm not sure if I recall why, maybe it was when I had convinced Amygdala that if he poured battery acid on Dr. Arkham's head- he would be convinced to let him out. But I really can't be sure. There were days at Arkham where you certainly could stretch the reaches of the imagination. You had to work hard to entertain yourself. I don't know how anyone could stay sound in there. But I deviate from my original point…semantic satiation. I found out that it doesn't really work unless you help it. I mean, if you want a word to lose its meaning you've got to help it lose its meaning. For 'wall,' I had to clear my mind. I had to concentrate on nothing, and everything. It's kind of like being hypnotized. Only susceptible minds are able to be hypnotized. A strong mind will resist it. A busy or clouded mind will resist it. The same thing goes for SS. In order for a word to achieve semantic satiation, you've got to help wear it down.

But let's be honest, I'm not really talking about a word. I'm talking about Janie. She's keeps saying no, but I rigorously believe she needs to delete that two letter trouble causer from her lexis of speech. She has said that word sooooo many times. I'm beginning to think it's just a natural response at this point. I mean, come on. She doesn't really mean it. Let me explain why- right now is a prime example. She _says _no, she says she doesn't want to be with me, but she's kissing me back. Her eyes slowly rise to look at me. Her breath is uneven, all over the place. She gets me all excited when she's excited.

"I'm cold." She speaks softly.

"You seem to be warming up."

"That's because you're sitting on me." She swallowed. "Normally I'd protest but I've been out here forever, I'm freezing."

I fiddle with her coat. She has that adorable befuddled look painted on her face, her lips. She can't comprehend or understand why she can't assess and control the situation. Smart girls don't like being topsy-turvy.

"Is there something you need to get off your chest?" I ran my hands up and down the lapel, pulling on it.

"No, everything on my chest needs to stay on. I don't want…" She's murmuring. She probably didn't mean to. This whole situation has caught her off guard, which certainly brings a smile to my face.

"Oh but you do...whatever it is, I'm more than positive that you…want it." I exaggerated my consonants. I do that when I'm accentuating a point. She was all hot and bothered. Well, bothered. It was quite frigid out. I don't understand how it is I wasn't angrier with her. Maybe it was because she was dressed up so nice. Maybe it's because a dress isn't really a whole lot of clothing. It's a very thin layer of fabric that barely covers the skin. Hers was a particularly soft one, most likely silk. My presence in her lap pushed up most of the part covering her legs. And let's be honest here, any red blooded man would want to see what's under Janie's navy dress. But it wasn't just her physical presence. It was her anger and rage- her lack of pretense…I needed to sift through all of that, I needed more. I needed have her. Listen to me, what a poet I am! She did this to me. It's her fault. I usually don't care about the details. But with her, I couldn't get enough of them. I wanted to savor every little strange, eccentric slice of time. I wanted every moment to be deep and intense. But simultaneously, I needed her uncomfortable and nervous. She deserved it after what she did to me. She should be petrified, she had it coming. My eyes had been locked to her face this whole time. She was looking back at me with bewilderment, and perhaps a little terror. I slid my hand up and tussled her hair a bit. "Why don't we start with you telling me why you did it?"

Janie eyed me cautiously. I wasn't sure how to act towards her new found fear and apprehension. It probably had to do with her being tied up. But she could take it, I wanted her to.

"Did what?" She spoke dryly.

"Janie," I scolded.

She sighed and took a breath to speak but her words were interrupted. Someone threw open the door to the roof.

I turned to eye them, hoping my look would literally kill. It was some couple from downstairs. They were laughing and carrying a bottle of booze. From the looks of it, they'd already had plenty. The man had obvious signs of male pattern baldness but seemed to think the toupee he wore covered it up. He kissed his shiny blonde companion's neck and she let out an awful cackle. The kind of cackle you just want to choke the life out of… I let out an annoyed growl. This was no time for guests.

"…you can never have a minute alone in this city." I murmured to Janie. "Other people are always going to interrupt your private time…"

"Joker, just… leave them alone." She spoke with weak resolve. But I was barely listening. Our moment had been knocked off track- we were getting somewhere, and these vermin had to go and disturb us.

"Joker, wait."

I cleared my throat and walked up to them. "Uh, excuse me?" Well I accomplished something right off the bat. The woman stopped making that awful cackle of a laugh. The man dropped the bottle of champagne, but it didn't break. I picked it up and popped the cork with my knife. I took a sip.

"Look," The man held up his arms. The woman instinctively cowered behind him. As if it mattered…

"Can't you see we're having a private conversation?" I pointed back to Janie with the tip of the champagne bottle then sat it down.

The man and woman looked over to her. The woman clasped her hand over her mouth for some reason. I pulled out my gun. "Alright now, you two follow me."

They stood still until I gestured again. "Now!"

The man went first, and the woman behind. I lead them over by Janie and the remaining pieces of Blaine. When the woman saw all the bones and blood, she began to scream. I looked to the man…trophy wives I tell you. "Quiet her down or she's getting another noise hole."

The man put his arms around the woman. "Honey, honey, you need to be quiet." He asserted.

She had already made a mess out of her makeup. Her tears were black from her mascara. She quickly reduced her scream to a small whimper. It was kind of eerie looking. Janie had mascara on tonight…but she hadn't cried any of it off, even after being kidnapped!

Speaking of, I turned to my girl, who was solemn. No, Janie wouldn't cry over spilled Blaine. She actually had thanked me. This is because she was special, made out of tough stuff. But her eyes were low and disapproving. She didn't want me threatening these people. I held up my hand, asking her to allow me to explain. I walked over to her.

"Are you thirsty?" I put the champagne to her lips. She gave me a glare.

"Don't look at me like that. It's not like I have this…innate desire to shoot or stab them. But if I don't, if I let them go- let them run back to the party do you know what's going to happen?"

Jane shook her head. Of course she knew, but she wasn't going to voice it. Stubborn, stubborn,

"They're going to tell all the little members of the café society that we're on the roof. Then, the security guards, the cops, and the whole fire brigade will come surging up here. And then we won't be able to finish our conversation sweet cakes."

"Just let them go." She said plainly. "We're not having any more conversation."

I hated when she did that. Janie spoke in a lot of declaratives. And it wasn't like she didn't mean them. I took a not-so cleansing breath and turned back to the man. "See what you did? Now she's shutting off again." I wacked him on the head with the gun. I guess I also nicked him cause a little blood splattered on my jacket, jeez. He fell to the ground. The girl toppled after him, but scooted as far away as she could. When the chips are down, you don't bet on the woman that married you for your money to help you…

"Stop it," Janie implored. "Just,"

I turned back to her. "It's adorable that you're suddenly getting shreds of your humanity back, but it's a little too late. You can't just pick and choose who is worthy of dying!" Her face seemed offended. But really that was her settling with the fact that I was telling the truth. I continued.

"It's not like this couple contributes more to society than Blaine did. I mean, Blaine was a man of the cloth. He baptized a lot of good little Catholic babies. And…" I added. "He also killed cops. Most of which were dirty mind you!"

"Stop trying to convert me. We're obviously not going to see eye to eye. Give it up!" She took a breath, she was getting all flustered.

"Uh, I'm not going to just give up on you. There's hope for you yet!"

Then, I'll put it this way." Janie started, but seemed to be having trouble finding her words. "You kill these people; I won't..." She shook her head, seeming to lose her train of thought as she closed her eyes. Janie seemed a little dizzy. I rubbed and cradled her cheek with my hand. Her eyes slowly opened as she tried to collect herself. I couldn't feel her skin, but I had before. Every delicate piece of her, I just wanted to eat it up.

I knelt down in front of her. "No offense hot lips, but it's not like you're going anywhere." I stood and turned, and then turned back. "But I really do mean no offense- you should know that if you weren't all tied up and such; I would take you ever so seriously."

She was trying really hard to look angered, and not to smile.

The man was trying to sit up now, he rubbed his head. "Please," He started. "Just let us go. We won't say anything."

"See now, they always say that. And you know what happens? You always do."

"No," The woman corrected, grabbing the man's arm. "We won't! We promise!"

"The problem is all that adrenaline pumping in your veins, it makes you dreadfully predictable. This is where you're trying to bargain with the captor- which would be me. You try to appeal to me by telling me what I want to hear. But I've just heard it too many times. I know it isn't true. Besides, even if you were telling the truth-you would leave a perfectly innocent girl alone with me… Just to save your own skin?" I looked back and shot Janie a wink, and then looked back to the couple. "To shame!"

"Joker! Let them go. Put down the gun!" Janie shouted a little louder now. But her voice was breaking and tired. Since she didn't want any champagne, I needed to remember to get her something to drink before we left…But I kept my eyes on the couple. I didn't feel sorry for them. The poor woman was staggered. She did let out another whimper, she knew what was coming. "Please don't kill us."

"You know," I started. "Maybe if you sang your pleads- or…tap danced." I mused. "That would at least be creative."

"Put down the gun!" A raspy voice commanded. I almost shivered at the sound...not out of fear, just because it was awfully unpleasant. "Well," I turned to him. "Haven't heard from you in a while, how've you been?" If you ask me, the way he was perching looked less like a bat, and more like an owl.

"Joker, put down the gun." He voiced just as looming as ever. Actually, he sounded like someone had shot his mouth up with Novocain and he'd just had his tonsils out…and he'd been a smoker for 45 years.

"Everyone wants me to put down the gun…"

"Go," Batman looked over to the couple. The man quickly scooped the woman up and they jetted for the door. I thought about shooting them but that was just going to cause more attention. I turned back to Janie and shrugged. "Are you happy?" But she wasn't looking at me.

She was looking at the Bat, which I didn't care for. I looked back to him and he was eyeing her guardedly. They weren't exactly communicating anything, but they obviously weren't strangers.

"Joker, let the girl go."

I looked back to Janie. "This one?" I laughed. "Oh I didn't do that,"

He stared at me with an unreadable glare. I continued. "No, no, see…I…_saved her!"_ I spoke truthfully as I stepped over leftover Blaine. "See," I pointed towards the blood and bones. "He was the attacker, he tied her up, and from the looks of it he obviously drugged her. I was just…doing my civic duty, being the hero." I reminded him. "Where were _you _when she was being kidnapped by the serial-killer priest? Hmm? Because he tried to kill her you know. And he would have had I not intervened…Looks like someone is falling down on the job."

"If any of that were true, which I'm sure it's not- then there is no reason not to let her go."

"There's where you're wrong. She and I were having an ongoing dialogue. We were in the middle of something before everyone decided to rudely interrupt us."

"Enough of this let her go she's just an innocent girl."

That made me laugh - a lot. Well obviously he didn't know her very well. But I did not appreciate the way he was looking at her. I know looks. I've given her that look. I caught my composure and furrowed my brow. I was starting to reevaluate my whole friendship with the bat. It was one thing to have me arrested and sent to Arkham. It's a whole other ballpark to try to steal my girl's attentions. This night was not going as I had hoped. Janie and I were certainly not getting the alone time I'd wanted. But, being the great thinker I am, I had anticipated for something to go awry. See I figured we'd have one or two interruptions. It was just bound to happen. So on cue my men burst through the roof door. Guns, knives, and all they came blazing, just ready and eager to get their tails handed to them by the Batman…which they promptly did.

In all his flaws, I have to say he is a pretty skilled fighter. But he was outnumbered. That at least kept him busy…

Meanwhile, Janie girl was just sitting there quiet as ever. But I understand, she couldn't risk having her duplicity exposed in front of anyone, let alone Batman. I went over to her and knelt behind the chair. "Now, are you going to leave with me or do I still have to play your little game? Am I going to have to make you?"

"I'm not going with you, I need to… I need to go to the hospital." She murmured.

"Don't be such a baby… he probably just stung you with a muscle relaxer, you'll be fine in a few hours." I sighed and cut her hands free from the ropes. I lifted her up by her arm and heaved her along with me. I was surprisingly met with a little resistance. But not enough where it was a serious effort on her part, after a few seconds she resigned her pull and allowed me to drag her.

We carefully moved around the swarm of fighting people and made it to the door. I swung it open and took one last glance as I pushed Janie inside.

"Joker!" Batman called after me.

"I'm just looking out for her well-being." I shrugged. "It's cold out here." I chuckled. And with that, I shut the door. I love it when things happen on cue. I looked around and found an old broom and stuck it through the handle. I was just in time too- Bats had predictably thwarted the men, and was banging on the opposite side.

"You're just going to leave all of them out there?"

"All the things we've been through, and that's what you're surprised about?"

She fell silent and started to shiver. I find it interesting people always shiver more after they are inside, but I needed to cut her some slack. She had been out there a lot longer than I was. Her hands ran up and down her arms as her teeth visibly chattered. "I think," She looked around. She seemed to have forgotten what she was about to say.

"Come on," I nudged her. "We have a party to go to." I pushed her again to go down the stairs. She stumbled a bit and fell sideways on the wall. She stopped for a moment and stared at the hand she'd used to catch herself. I furrowed my brow and pulled her up by her arm. "Have you been drinking?"

She shook her head. "But, I told you he…with the needle." She looked up to me in perplexity, having trouble forming her words.

Now I know I don't always make sense to a lot of people. But she wasn't making any sense at all. She was acting as if she was completely hammered. Without warning she slid down the wall and landed sluggishly on the step. She looked around, then up to me.

Her eyes didn't have any kind of sparkle in them. They only looked confused, and quite reticent. She wasn't lying; this must have been an effect of the drug Blaine had slipped her, obviously hindering her ability to walk. It was either that or moderate hypothermia- or both. I sighed and reached to pick her up- A task that was harder than I'd imagined. Her coat added and extra ten pounds. And her legs were quite long, the bulk of her body felt like deadweight. The Brightside was she didn't put up any kind of resistance. But somehow, I found myself wishing she was…

This hotel was far too large. There didn't seem to be an end to these stairs. And Janie was fading in and out. But I kept talking to her- they say you shouldn't let a person sleep until you know what the problem is.

For a moment, she was more alert. She looked around then asked, "Why are you carrying me?"

"You sure one of those guys at the table didn't slip you something else?"

She didn't answer. Her lazy eyes stared down the corridor.

"Who was that man you were sitting next to, at the dinner?"

"Bruce?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, the old cowboy."

She smiled. "Dr. Grant," She swung her head and laid it on my chest. I giggled a bit. "He's my Professor. And you know what? He's my onlyest friend." She played with my tie. "Isn't that sad?"

"_Onlyest _huh? I'm hurt I thought we were friends."

She shook her head. "You just want to fuck me." She looked off again. "Or kill me." She sighed softly, and then started humming "Tainted Love."

-And people say I'm crazy.

"Where are we going again?" She asked. Her mental capacities seemed to be dwindling. I felt like I was talking to a three year old. I didn't really care for that.

"We were going to the party. It's still going on…" I looked down to her, she was getting really heavy.

"You mean…you wanted to unnerve me in front of everyone? Just because I ratted you out to the police?"

"Actually, that was exactly my plan."

"I told you I was going to do it."

"No, you told me that things would change the next day. Not that you would make me lose an apartment."

"You should get over it." She suggested casually. "It' not like you got caught."

Well there was Janie, if only for a brief moment.

"Just know that when I say I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it." She declared. "Now, do we really have to go to this birthday party?"

There she went again…"Well now, I don't think it would serve any purpose…being you're all drugged up. You won't even remember what a lovely evening we could have had."

"I thought about what it would be like if we had sex." She brought that up, for no apparent reason. Her fingers lightly traced down my chin to my shoulders. "I think it would be decent, I mean you're - You're outwardly aggressive but you have all this…pent up, stuff." She kissed my neck softly, which caused me to almost drop her. "I just think that energy would convert well to sexual energy."

This was rough. Normally, it would have been a good thing. I don't mind a woman being forward. But this, this wasn't right. She was off, obviously not in her right mind. But nonetheless she'd gotten me all excited. It didn't take much; we'd already warmed up on the roof earlier.

I slid her down next to me for a break. She plopped lethargically on the steps and rested her head on my shoulder. This is when my humanity started to worry me. She was right, both fucking and killing her had certainly crossed my mind. But at the moment, I was mildly concerned for her well-being. Blaine's drugs had done something to Janie, because this wasn't her.

She looked at her hand. "I got your face makeup on me, but I can't feel it." She looked over to me and gave me her hand.

I took her hand and nodded, "Uh-huh," all the while realizing I was her caretaker at the moment. I'm not sure how I felt about that.

She looked away. "Did my Dad come tonight?" She asked innocently.

"To the party?"

She nodded. "He comes to all of my things. He's so busy but he always makes it. He might be late but he makes it."

"That's nice Janie girl."

"It is." She decided. Her eyes were glazed over, as she remembered more detached things of her past. "It wasn't an accident you know." She decided.

"What wasn't?"

"When Dad died, the fire," She spoke quickly. "They started it. I know that they did. They just never got caught for it. But no one believed me- they thought it was me!" Suddenly, she was sad. She stared glumly down the stairs. All I could do was listen, it might be hot air but she was opening up.

"Who started the fire?"

Her eyes were closed for no apparent reason. When she opened them, she looked at her hands again. She shook her head, and then looked up to me. "My hands are strange. I need to go to the supermarket."

I laughed. "Okay girlie let's not go _all_ illogical." I sighed and scooped her up. She was trying to tell me her hands were numb, I got that. That was a symptom of something.

…

The lobby was full of people I could hear it on the other side of the door. Normally I'd storm right through them but there were a bunch of policemen waiting on the opposite side for me to come out. Well that and I wasn't sure how much time she had to get somewhere warm. I growled in annoyance. My men were a complete waste- they couldn't organize to save their lives, let alone Janie's. I pulled out my phone and dialed, but no answer. I threw it against the wall. It didn't solve anything but it made me feel better. This night was not going as I'd thought it would…but then again what ever does?

I looked over to her. "No! No!" I slapped her cheek a few times. "Stay awake!" I scolded.

She looked at me with empty eyes.

"Tell me more about your family." I suggested, hoping I'd get a text back soon.

"Family?"

"That a girl."

"They killed him!" She insisted, visibly upset. I assumed she was talking about her father again and some mysterious fire. Well, that was a taboo topic for drugged up Janie. I wanted to press more, this was a first. She was telling, showing me her scars, the ones she would never willingly sanction. Too bad she wasn't making any sense.

…

We took the emergency exit to the alley and emerged on one side of the hotel. I looked around, there wasn't anyone in sight. But both ends of the alleys were a different story. I could see cop lights reflecting both ways. I shrugged. That really was my day-to-day. Truth of the matter is I would be pursued even if I wasn't holding an incapacitated young woman in my arms.

It was then that something incredible happened. It was as if God, Brahman, or Allah himself showed me a path. A door flung open to the neighboring building a few paces down. A lone policeman emerged nervously pointing his gun in both directions. I fell back into the shadows and put Janie down next to the dumpster. I know, it's gross but it all served the greater good. We could take a shower later…

"It's all clear here." The policemen radioed before I bashed him on the head. He fell over like a sack of potatoes. I went back to pick up the out of order butcher, who was now passed out. I'm not a doctor, but that isn't exactly a good sign. But we needed to gain some ground. I carried her into the building.

…

I had no idea what this building was, but like many in Gotham, it was abandoned and freezing. It wasn't much of a change from standing outside. Well, that's a lie, it was a lot quieter. The police sirens and voices were very distant. All I could hear were my feet stepping on broken glass, but that only lasted for a few seconds- they were joined by the sound of someone else's feet.

"Joker! It's over!"

I snarled and slowly turned. It wasn't even halfway over. I laughed. "You really need to work on your prophecies."

Gordon held his gun carefully and steadily as he studied my girl. "Is she alive?"

I was offended. Like I couldn't take care of her…

"Who Janie? She's just taking a nap."

"What did you do to her?"

"What's with the accusations tonight? I didn't do anything! I rescued her," For some reason, I had to keep reminding everyone of the fact. "But she is sick Commish, sick and drugged. The way I see it you have two choices- let me take her and save her, or let her die in these…cold, Gotham streets."

"If you want to help her," He chose his words slowly and carefully, like any Police Commissioner would. "Let me take her. I can get her to a hospital."

"You? You're getting old Gordon. I can't count on you to carry her and help her in time."

"I promise I will, just…give her here."

I laughed. "Normally I would explain to you exactly why that isn't going to happen, but frankly I'm getting rather sick of interruptions." I ignored him and kept walking.

"Joker!" He shouted. "Hand her over now!"

I ignored his request. "You're not going to shoot me, not while I'm holding her."

"Look, I know we both want the same thing. We want Jane to be safe."

If I wasn't holding Jane I'd of certainly pulled out my gun, or knife. Gordon was really starting to irk me. When it comes to her, I'm positive Gordon and I don't see eye to eye.

"She's your…friend I know." Gordon infantilized his speech as if I were a child. "But you have to understand, she needs medical attention. You can't give that."

"I can handle my affairs Gordon. And don't insult my intelligence. Also, don't assume things you don't know." I turned around. The only way to get this over with was to threaten. It's the only thing he seemed to understand. "Now, if you don't put down your gun and your radio down, I'm going to put two in her head."

According to his silence, he was conflicted. He swallowed. "You're not going to kill her."

A laughed, now I was being tested, tempted. "Let's not pretend you're a psychologist, they can't even figure me out. Also, let's not pretend you have the slightest idea what my motives or objectives are." I promptly dropped Janie to the cold concrete. It made Gordon jump in shock. But it also jolted her out of her slumber. She woke up and looked around in utter confusion. My poor girl…I know what you're thinking- but it was only a few feet, she was just fine. But it was enough to get a rise out of Gordon. He took this opportunity to aim his gun and fire. But I moved over then reached for Janie.

"Up we go," I wrapped my arm around her neck and pressed the gun to her temple.

"Wha…?" She looked around, then presumably up to Gordon. "What's going on?"

"What's going on is Gordon doesn't seem to value your life very much. He told me to shoot you."

"No, I did not. Joker, let her go!"

She was quiet for a moment; her hands reached up to my sleeve and held on to it. "Are you going to?" She asked somberly…

"Now that's up to Gordon and whether or not he's going to put his gun and radio down."

If I would've known, I would have tried to wake her up sooner. I couldn't see so I'm only guessing. But I guess she gave him some sort of look, for he quickly put his gun and radio to the floor. It must be those big, doughy eyes of hers. All the poor saps fall for them, present company included.

"Looks like you get to carve another day," I teased her then shot at Gordon. Janie jumped in my hold and began to squirm.

"Hold still Hon,"

She was trembling now, physically shaking. "Let me go."

"We need to leave Janie."

"No! Gordon!" She called.

I hadn't killed him. I know when it's a kill shot. But she was being such a drama queen about it. Gordon was still on the ground, but he made some grunting noises and shifted a bit.

"You see, he's fine. Let's go!"

"I'm not going. I can't leave him."

I much preferred her being my little solitary librarian. She didn't need all of these extra…friends.

"I'm not going with you." She spoke decidedly.

"That's just the drugs. You'll be fine in a…"

"No, I'm not!" She shook her head. She meant what she was saying, but she was far too weak to even let go of my arms. They were all that was holding her up. "No one knows where he is, he could die!"

"So?"

"So I'm not leaving him! You're going to have to drag me out of here."

"Now you're just giving me ideas…" I could hear someone else breaking into the building now, probably some of Gordon's men. That was the last thing I needed. I didn't have time for this. I lowered Janie to the ground and walked over to Gordon's radio. I picked it up and flipped it on. In retrospect, maybe I wanted to help him. I mean, maybe if Batman still had Gordon to help or take care of, he would stop trying to steal Janie…

"Yeah he's just laying here, gunshot wound; you're going to need to come get him."

A man on the other side of the frequency sounded confused. "Commissioner? Who is this?"

I dropped the radio and sighed and peered up to the heavens- which at present were a leaky ceiling in dire need of repair. Apparently whoever was up there intended on me being Mr. Nice Guy tonight.

"Alright, now are you happy?" I turned around and headed to Janie. But someone else answered my question.

"I am now that I finally found you! You're a hard man to find" He was holding Janie. He had his hand wrapped around her neck and held an instrument awfully shiny against it.

He wasn't a very attractive man. I mean, there's someone out there that finds him attractive I'm sure… but he was far from debonair. He was bald and whiter than flour. The only visible hair was a moustache and goatee. But it didn't matter what he looked like- he was yet another interruption. This whole night was just fated to be a constant stream of them.

He looked down to Janie, who was trying to get out of his grasp but she was worn-out, and there was the issue of her evading the knife. He had a sleazy smile and was for the most part uncharismatic. I shook my head. I knew who he was, but he was the one who showed up unannounced. He needed to declare his presence.

"I've been looking for you for quite some time." He continued, rude!

"That's nice, but what are you doing here Zsasz? I don't mean to offend, but this party was kind of invite only."

"This girl here, your little accomplice… Turns out she's a little easier to track than you are. She was on the security footage from the club…easy enough to find. She had papers, documentation. In the past few days she seems to be showing up wherever you are." He looked down to her. "Or is it the other way around?"

I didn't like the way he was touching her. It was almost too easy to take advantage of such a vulnerable girl. It was lazy. It's like he adopted his criminal persona from a Lifetime movie…

"Let me go." Janie tried to shake him off. She was so consistent in her demands. She didn't care who it was.

He smirked and looked up to me as he leaned close to her ear. It's a male thing, I know-posturing and all. But I'd like to think we'd evolved some. But I felt an all too powerful urge- I wanted to kill him for touching her, so I suppose we haven't evolved much.

"You know, I didn't believe it, at first. You're not the kind that is known to have any associates…or companions." He smiled. "I thought you were like me." He shrugged. "Guess I was wrong." He decided. "But I have to admit, she is pretty cute."

He might as well be puffing his chest out. All in all, I was unimpressed by this first encounter. "I've got a spot for you," He whispered to her, but loud enough for me to hear. "Right under my shoulder blade- top of my chest." He took his knife and sliced her skin in the spot he was talking about. She let out an unpleasant yelp.

I didn't flinch though. That was what he was trying to elicit. This guy- criminal handbook 101… But Janie looked up to me, the same doughy eyes I assume she gave Gordon. That was the last straw; people don't get to hurt Janie.

Janie's brow furrowed, as if some recognition had suddenly swept throughout her person. "Tally marks?" She asked me suddenly.

"Uh-huh,"

She nodded, "Oh, Okay," with that; she kicked him sharply in the shin with her pointy heel. He stumbled in his footing. I chuckled. She wasn't going to be the victim when she could help it. But it didn't take me long; I was going to keep consistent with the theme of the evening- me being the hero. I was there, again to catch her. My girl had had a rough night- being attacked by two serial killers and all. She was getting to the point where she really couldn't stand. Drugs, the cold- it was taking a toll on her. I lowered her to the floor and went to Zsasz. Surprisingly, he was already up and ready for a fight.

"You know, I would have expected more out of you. Copying my MO? Couldn't you be a little more creative?"

"It worked like a charm. You followed the bread crumbs to the club. I just didn't think you'd figure it out that fast. My compliments, but count yourself lucky, if I was there you would not have left."

"Oh now, let's not get excessively buoyant. You did just get out-thwarted by a grad-student." I grabbed him and tackled. Victor was a surprisingly good fighter. He was agile and quick. But he lacked a bit of the muscle that was necessary for this type of combat. For this particular battle, I needed to use a knife- that or my hands. I felt as if I simply gunned him down, he wouldn't get the message. And Victor Zsasz needed to hear me loud and clear.

I pulled out my knife and did a little tally mark of my own- a horizontal line right under his eye. Since all his tally marks were vertical, I figured I'd screw around with his psyche a bit. He flinched, but not as much as I would've hoped. So then I got creative.

I elongated the line to where it curved up on both sides. Then I put two smaller, vertical lines on top…a smiley face.

"Always look on the bright side of life." I exclaimed. But wouldn't you know it; he slithered out of my grasp and backed up a few steps. I stood up and begrudgingly held out my gun.

"You're a creative guy." I gestured, sweeping my hand across my chest. "-with the tally-marks and all…Too bad you waste all that talent on doing jobs for the mob."

Victor laughed and shrugged. "They pay good money." He mused, letting the blood ooze freely from his face.

It's always about money isn't it? But something told me it wasn't for him. Something told me he was lying.

"I think you took this particular job for a different reason."

Victor's eyes met with mine. We had a sort of moment of recognition. My opinion of him altered just a bit. "Ordinarily, this is where I'd offer you some kind of position. But I just don't feel like you'd be right for my team."

Victor sneered. But our attention shifted as we heard breaking glass nearby. He looked up to me and shrugged. "Another time then, that is, now I know how to find you." He momentarily eyed Janie, and then ran off into the shadows. What an odd fellow…I liked him. I would definitely kill him the next time I saw him.

Janie had found her way next to the Commish. I sighed and rolled my eyes. Maybe she saw Gordon as a father figure…I don't know. She did have that little spell in the stairway. Maybe she had daddy issues. But I don't think she really did. From her display in the stairwell, she loved and seemed to admire her presumably dead father. It was then I remembered the juvi-file I'd seen when I was researching her. Perhaps that had something to do with the mysterious fire she was talking about. – Definitely something to look into later.

Gordon had sat up a bit now, and was bleeding from the shoulder. I went and sat down next to the two them. "You're a tough old guy," I gave him a jab in the shoulder I had shot. He groaned a little, but took it in stride. Then I looked over to Janie. She was definitely fading, but she was eyeing Gordon's discarded gun a few feet away.

I reached for it before she could get a chance to. She sighed and looked up to me.

I shrugged. I knew she was conflicted, and when one is conflicted the last thing they need is to be shown door number three…

"Joker, please just…leave Jane alone."

"Relationships take work, Gordon." I reminded him.

"For the last time, I'm not going with you." My more lady-ish half informed me.

I've been the ever consummate gentleman all evening. I rescued the damsel and even refrained from killing some people…I was quite tired of it. That's when I did something, archaic. I picked her up and threw her over my shoulders. She gasped in utter shock. I snickered. "This is outmoded I know, but you asked for it." I replied and started walking. "You're going to get us both killed, or worse- detained."

"Is this you being logical?" She spat, I giggled. I had and hadn't missed that. But I needed it. I needed to know she hadn't totally lost her Janie spark.

"Put me down." She spoke sternly as I stomped through the shadows.

"No." I stated simply, using her favorite word.

"I'm going to be sick." She announced.

"Then be sick. It's only the back of my coat. But you're sending it to the cleaners…"

…

My guys had a delivery truck strategically placed right outside the police blockade. Well, they weren't completely useless. I smiled as I stared, and even waved at the swarm of dozens of cops. None of them had even noticed us standing right outside the tape line. I plopped Janie in the truck then hopped in myself. I pulled out the sack Blaine had used on her and placed it over her head.

"What are you doing?"

"You're not making me lose another apartment."

"This is so fucked up…I'm so fucked up."

Janie had quite the mouth when she felt the situation warranted. I think it's cute, she's such a pretty- cursing is actually an endearing quality. It makes her not so doll-like. She's a little rough, a little dirty. "Don't be so hard on yourself. I'd prefer to think you and I are…intellectually enlightened or elevated."

"No, I mean…I need medical attention."

I laughed at the fact my passenger had a sack on her head. "Oh I'll give you plenty of attention. And I'll get you help, the best money can't buy."

"What are you talking about?"

"Why, Google of course."

"Google?"

"Yes,"

"So what if there's something wrong with me? What if I die?"

"Well, I had half a mind to do just that myself this evening. So I guess we'll just see how it goes."

She let out an exaggerated sigh. I chuckled and gave her shoulder a pat.

"From the way that you're acting, the drugs are wearing off. That solves most of your ailment right there."

"So where are we going?"

"Let's think critically here. If I wanted you to know that, would I have put a bag over your head?"

"I guess not."

"You'd guess right."

…

This was my forth favorite apartment. I had five left. I did have six. I like the number six. But having a woman in your life always changes things. Because of her I had to give one up.

I pulled the sack off of her head after I situated her body on the couch. Her cheek had a little splattered Blaine on it. I guess it was on the sack, but I wiped it off.

She looked around then up to me. Apparently the ride over had made her mute.

"You need to take off your jacket."

"No, I'm freezing." She pouted.

"You also have a knife wound on your chest. It needs to be cleaned. You're still bleeding out."

Janie slowly nodded. With some difficulty, she tried to move her arms around. But with each movement, the pain from the wound seemed to stop her.

I leaned her forward and told her to hold out her arms as I pulled it off. She leaned back on the sofa as I looked at the cut.

"Have you had your tetanus shot recently?"

She gave me the 'I'm not amused' look.

"I'm dead serious girlie- Zsasz doesn't seem the type to practice safe knife use. Cutting you with that knife was like connecting you to every other person that knife's ever been with."

She laughed a little, at my morbid joke- making me wish she was better. Then we could do things that were more fun.

The blood from her cut wound had stained her dress; I went and got a wet towel. She sat back wearily as I wiped the excess blood from her shoulder and chest. She cringed a bit but let me continue. Janie girl was notably banged up, like some drunken frat guy had just had his way with her.

"You dropped me." She suddenly accused, looking at all the bruises popping up on her body.

"I also carried you…I think it evens out." I retorted and went to get my laptop.

After a few minutes of inquiry, I'd decided she had mild to moderate hypothermia. I think it was mild, because she could still…basically form her sentences. She was in and out…but she still had her personality intact at times. I think her slurred speech and such was really from whatever tranquilizer Blaine had shot her up with. But that was starting to wear off, if it hadn't already gone completely. I had a thermometer; I got it out and went to the couch.

"Open wide."

She stared at me with curious eyes. Yes, I was still being her caretaker. But we were never going to get anywhere if she was dead.

Her temp was down to 95.9. Yep, that explains it. But it was only mild, not severe. It wasn't as if she'd done any- paradoxical undressing yet…unfortunately.

One of the steps online said to remove the wet clothing. Her clothes were a little damp from the snow. But you really couldn't call that dress clothing. It didn't make a bit of difference. I grabbed the comforter off the bed and put it next to her.

The next step was to replace the cold with warmth. Well, there were multiple choices for this. But I chose the skin to skin contact one. I stripped down to my underthings and sat down next to her. I mean, I was cold too. I'm not a pervert, well, I might be but body heat was what the website said.

"What are you doing?"

"You have hypothermia. You need my body heat."

"I might need a lot of things, but I don't need…"

"Shush Janie. You want medical treatment or not? Now, quiet down while Dr. J does his work." We were both enjoying this. Of course she had to protest a bit- it's just in her nature. But she liked the attention. And I didn't mind giving it to her.

"Now this is strictly business, don't get any ideas, but you need to take off your dress."

"Really?" She asked sardonically.

"No, you're right. I'm thoroughly open to you taking advantage of the situation."

She slowly peeled off her dress. I watched as it slid over her head.

"Well, this is ruined." She declared and threw it across the room.

"You don't sound terribly disappointed."

"I hate those parties."

"Of course you do, they're beneath you. They're stupid. Now, come here so you don't die."

She grinned. "I'm not going to die."

"You need to warm up Janie. Do your really think you'd be this comfortable doing all of this as your normal self?"

"Good point."

I secured my back on the end of the couch and dragged her back to my chest. I attached myself, wrapping my skin with hers. I pulled the comforter over us.

This was nice. I was not opposed to this method. Her skin was soft, the kind of skin you expect a young, attractive girl to have. It was quite colder than mine though. This was partially her fault- going out in the cold in that dress, in a get up like that. I told her so but she didn't respond. She didn't know I'd be at that party. Who was she trying to impress looking all fancy? I suppose you have to dress up to those things though. And in the time I'd watched her, she didn't seem to be having a good time. Her comment confirmed it.

Her breaths were slow and calm now, but they were still there as she steadily fell asleep. She moaned a little, so cute, so fragile. I wanted to be enjoying this, but I felt like I was enjoying it too much. My complacency was starting to worry me again. She had this, exceedingly calming influence on me. This made me wonder, to ponder. I have not been the caretaker many, if any other times in my life. I never saw the sense in it. But I could see the appeal, I could feel the appeal.

…

My eyes were closed but I wasn't sleeping. Janie stirred a couple hours later. She was silent for a bit, taking things in. We had slid down the couch to a lying position. After a few moments though, she shifted her body and turned around to where she was facing me on the couch. I opened my eyes to meet hers. But neither of us said a word.

I'm a smart guy, a genius savant if you will. But I'm not about to try to understand anything about that second, or what my feelings were exactly. But alas, I like to live in the moment; the problem was this moment was equally perplexing. Neither of us knew whether or not to start fighting, or fucking. Naturally she was the one to break the silence. It's a control thing, she couldn't help it.

"I'd be angrier about this if I didn't know it saved my skin, literally." She swallowed. "I don't," She sighed. "Thank you."

"How else were we going to finish our talk?"

"I still hate you." She informed me.

"Stop playing that card, the irony is you have nothing to truly hate me for. Sure, other people might- other people do, but you don't. I've been nothing but advantageous and obliging to your welfare and survival. Me on the other hand- concerning you…" I couldn't in good conscience finish. The truth was I didn't hate her. I thoroughly enjoyed her. She was my favorite toy, and I'd only begun to play.

"This isn't going to work out." She spoke in a deliberate yet small voice.

"You have no reason to say that."

"Oh but I do, I'll tell you exactly why. This isn't going to work out because I'm losing my resolve, my grip on sanity. I don't like losing control. I need that control back. I can't function properly without it."

I grinned widely. "What a beautiful soliloquy. Too bad your assertion for control is futile...no one truly controls anything. You can't control or change how you feel. Having said that, I think there's something you need to say to me…"

She furrowed her brow, but quickly relaxed it. "You saved me."

Actually, I was talking about her explaining herself some more. But I had a feeling that was never going to happen. So I went with the flow. "That's what I've been trying to tell you. I've been trying to save you all along."

I shifted my body around a bit, to assist the tension in the air, and her nerve endings. She moved her body nervously, unable to actually, physically move away.

"You're not saving me; you're dragging me down with you. I'm drowning." She spoke decidedly.

I laughed and wrapped my arm around the back of her neck. "We're all drowning in disillusion, depravity…but who are we if we can't give in to indulgence?"

"We're going to…" She stopped; I could feel her chest rise and meet mine as her breath accelerated. "I'm going to have to pay for it."

"We're not going to have to pay for anything." I quickly corrected, quite startled at my use of the plural 'we're.' But I guess all along that's what it was coming to. She was going to be mine one way or another. I'd known it the second I figured out what it was I'd truly found, she was more than just some fun and a fuck. She was more than that.

"You're with me now." I decided aloud. It was the truth. She was with me the second my eyes opened to meet hers in that library. There was something about them that I as a guy couldn't repel. I would adhere to them, to our feelings. Whether she liked it, or not…

She smiled a bit, a face I'd rarely seen on her. "I suppose now is the part where you want to make love to me?"

I gave her a hearty laugh. "I wouldn't know the first thing about how to do that. But we sure can f…"

"Let me stop you right there." She spoke; her verbal jousting skills seemed to be returning. "I never consented to being with you."

"You really have no argument here. You're lying, practically naked in my arms."

"Because I have hypothermia," She argued.

"Had, and you know, delirious Janie didn't protest the idea of us having sex. She even revealed that she'd thought about it, on many occasions."

"I can't."

Alright, I was getting impatient. I'd given this back-and-forth routine ample time to perish. The problem was, I didn't want to get all rapey. Some women would find that a turn on, but Janie would probably just knee me in the groin, storm out- then tell the cops my location. Oh what a bother. But nonetheless, my anger, resentment towards her was returning. She turns me on, she lets me down. It's like a demented carousel ride. The carnie worker went on break and I've been riding on this plastic horse for half an hour. The circular motion, the cheesy yet eerie repetitive music- it's all starting to get to me and I think I'm going to be sick…or explode.

"Stop it! Stop lying!"

"I'm not going to lie I want to, with you. I…" She closed her eyes. "I do want to. I'm not going to pretend that I don't. But that doesn't mean I'm actually going to. Because once I do it, I can't, I won't be able to…"

"Pretend anymore?"

"Well yes." She continued her crusade, her inner-battle for whatever shard of normalcy she had left. I don't know…at least she was being honest.

"You're not even going to give it a chance. What about giving things…life the old college try?"

"I've had sex before."

"Of course you have, but not with me."

She grinned as she tucked stray locks of her hair behind her ears. "Right…"

"Listen Janie, you've been trying to figure yourself out for too long now. You know who you are. You always have. Your refusal here, it's just an excuse you use to not fess up to reality. Me, I know who I am, and I know who you are- and I'm not even a very level headed guy- but I know you don't want to go anywhere, you want to be here. I was really just a chauffeur. And deep down," I shook my head. "Nope, you don't even have to dig that deep down; you know you don't care about any of them."

She began to shake. This whole conversation was doing something inside of her, something was waking up. But simultaneously, something was dying. A single tear fell down her cheek.

"Stop that, don't do that." I quickly wiped it off.

"I do care." She spoke in a weak voice. If I weren't so close to her, it would be hard to prove she'd even muttered a sound.

"No you don't, but that's sweet. And if you want, you can still pretend. As long as you don't do that with me- don't pretend with me because I know better, I won't tolerate it. We both know better. You barely even interact with them; you just go through the motions."

She clenched her jaw. It stung, I know, the truth hurts. But that's just fine, because I kissed her. She stopped shaking now. A lot of her shaking was from her internal turmoil. She wasn't that cold anymore, and she wasn't afraid of me. She was afraid of herself. We'd had this conversation before. It got both of us pretty rowed up. But that's alright- as drugged Janie said- I had a knack for transferring my energy to where it needed to be. I had no problem letting her know my intention. I grabbed the back of her hair and clutched the soft locks, but not hard, a ladies hair is important to her. I pushed her back as I looked at her. Her skin was soft and glowing. I stared at the sight for a moment. But she didn't let me idle for long. She had her hand on my back and dragged me towards her. She kissed me now. Her hands were light and tender, but the touch urged me. She was begging me to speed things up. And that we did. I swept us up and onto the bed fairly quickly- a bed I was a bit ashamed of. Hers was much nicer. But at least I had the decency to not screw her on my bloody couch. And I don't mean that in a British-curse word kind of way- it actually had quite a bit of her and my blood on it. Hers was new but mine was old. But she didn't seem to care where we were. And I was clouded with lust; we could work out the semantics later.

I moved on top of her and situated her beneath. I pushed our bodies closer. What a wonderful evening this was turning out to be after all... We had a moonlit rooftop rendezvous, a little action in an abandoned building and now Janie was finally yielding to what we knew should have happened from the beginning.

I took a few seconds to study her. Her fiery hair was spread ubiquitously across the pillow, full of secrets and hidden wonders. She looked up at me. Her eyes full of power and far too much clout.

Her beautiful chest was rising and falling in some sort of nervous expectancy. But in contrast to her peachy pale skin, deep red blood danced across it. Her cut from Zsasz was now mildly bleeding. It trickled from her chest to my sheets. I looked at my own chest, red-smeared evidence that I'd carried her to the bed. I pulled her up from her lying position to unite us, kissing and licking the excess blood above her breasts. I liked tasting her blood, having some of it inside me.

"Look at me Janie."

She met my eyes, and I met hers, they were frantic and heavy. I guess she took notice of my rage; her hand guided my chin to her lips. She kissed me. I could taste more of her metallic blood, a poison that I'd consumed under my own volition. I don't know what this was, but it didn't feel like foreplay. And the pace we were going at was disconcerting and uncomfortable. On one hand, I wanted to speed things along. On the other, I was quite enjoying the thorough and meticulous attention she was giving to me. She had soft, distinctive kisses and caresses. Her touch was powerful yet delicate. I was clouded, confused. I wanted to let it happen, but I hated it. Talk about cognitive dissonance.

"You don't belong to them," I shook my head. The more I looked at her, the stronger I felt about it. "Not Gordon, your Professor, not, Batman! None of them, you belong to me." I looked her square in the eye, making sure she understood.

She laughed a bit, in a dismissive sort of way that made me exceedingly angry. Her hand reached up, it ran through my hair softly. I shuddered as she gently scratched the back of my neck, a sensitive-ticklish spot. She wasn't taking this seriously. What did I have to do, brand her?

"Joker," The first word she had spoken in quite some time. "Stop talking."

I fumed. I hated how she did that. She ignored my words, my demands. She had a way or rationalizing them, and dismissing it… And nothing about me was rational. I wanted the things I wanted, and got them.

Apparently the gods of the evening were not in my favor. Immediately following her words she unwrapped herself and separated us from our union. I couldn't catch my breath. And it wasn't because of surprise, it was because of anger.

She had already found her dress and slipped it back on. She now was searching for her jacket. She found it and slipped on her shoes.

"No," I walked up to her and grabbed her wrist. "You can't do that, you're not going to do that."

"Yes, I can." She made sure to look me square in the eye.

"So you're just going to go back to your so called life? Pretending that you're someone you're not?"

"I don't understand where you get this…notion that I was pretending before I met you or that I didn't know who I was. I'm a grad student who likes carving meat and watching Anthony Bourdain reruns in the middle of the night. I occasionally-when the weather is nice like to go on long walks and get lost in parts of the city. I love dogs and cats and I hate reptiles and most birds. I have a Mother who'd prefer I didn't exist and a dead father whose death was partially my fault. I know exactly who I am, I always have!" She shrugged, yelling a bit now. "That's never been an issue for me."

This was like speed dating- I was learning so much info in such a short amount of time. "Come on Janie, if you weren't looking for something else, something…better you wouldn't…"

"Who isn't, Joker? Life is…hard. All we can do is look for something better." She sighed. "Life is a cruel and unforgiving. But you know what, we deal with it. And I've been particularly good with dealing. That is, until you came around."

"This is all very existential doll, but none of it explains why you're here. And don't you lie and tell me you don't want to be. Now I was, generous and kind enough to help you. The cops and even the Bat still think you're some innocent girl- and that I'm some sort of kidnapper."

"You did kidnap me." She jerked her arm from my grasp.

"No, I picked you up. I gave you a ride. I'm not interested in forcing you, though you make it quite tempting." I glowered. "No, I've given you ample time to work through this whole crisis and confusion of yours. It's time you fess up, and stop running from what you want."

"I'm protecting myself. Honestly, would you be with you?"

I shrugged and laughed. "Of course I would! I actually look for reflections of my character in others. That's why you're here. I see you. You're different. You understand things everyone else neglects. You're a loner because you see them for who they really are. Like me, you're repulsed- thoroughly annoyed by it… And I'm repeating myself. To be honest this sales pitch is getting quite old Janie girl. It's about time you've fessed up to it."

"Understanding you and being like you are two entirely different things."

"If you say so, but you're not leaving here, until you admit that I'm right."

"You need me to say it?"

"I need you to do more than say it."

"I don't owe you anything." She turned and walked towards the door.

That was it. I'd had it with her Gemini fickleness. I grabbed her arm and yanked her back. She flailed them and resisted until I pinned her against the wall. Her breaths were heavy and loaded again.

"Let me go." She seethed, staring me directly in the eye as she struggled under my hold.

"You're not going…anywhere." I informed her, using all of my bulk to make sure of it.

"If you _see_ me like you claim to, you would know that I don't appreciate someone trying to control me. So, in that aspect, you are right. We are alike- we don't want or let others dictate our lives. You ordering me to admit such and stay here is a double standard. You've become the very thing you claim to despise- oppression and order."

I was a little taken aback. And I was back to hating her. This wasn't where I'd expected this conversation to go. I didn't like this. She knew she had power at the moment. I was rendered to the point where only my physical stature deemed me the dominant. I wasn't used to this. I could easily kill her, I could destroy her- and scare her but then I would be without. I wasn't ready for that quite yet. All of these thoughts had run so quickly through my head. She didn't even give me the time to retort.

"Yes, I see you. I understand you to a very limited but certainly pensive extent." She offered. "You propose to give me freedom from a world that I've grown to resent somewhat. But the price I'd have to pay- I could never go back to it. And you're unpredictable. You want me now, but you might want to kill me tomorrow."

"Oh Janie, I want to kill you now." I reassured her.

"Exactly." She exhaled shakily. I took this as my cue and lead us to the couch.

"There, there. You're all worked up from your speech. Calm down now."

"How am I supposed to stay calm? You want to kill me."

"I want to fuck you more."

"What happens when that isn't the case?"

"Janie, Janie, Janie…I've told you before, I'm not a serial killer. I can control my impulses. I'm not just going to go and- kill my girl."

"You're not going to let me leave tonight," She declared rather than asked. But I promptly replied.

"No, you're going to stay here."

Janie brought her arms to her chest and pushed outward, causing me to stagger a bit. "I'm tired." She spoke in an exhausted voice. "I need to go to sleep. I haven't been getting any sleep lately."

"I have a bed."

"Then I'm going to bed." She started walking towards it, but on the way turned around to look at me. "You coming?"

- Women.

_"And spit my heart out."_


	7. JaneJanie

Chapter Seven: Jane/Janie

There was blood everywhere. The light of the loft was unforgiving. Everything was painfully illuminated the second my eyes shot open. His apartment was appropriately decorated with weapons, aged- rugs, and blood. I felt like crap. Well, that's an understatement. I had the hangover from hell. I'd been drugged and left out in the cold. Oh yeah- I'd also been thrown around and dropped like a ragdoll. I felt as if I couldn't move. Every part of my body was sore and tired. There was no point in trying to favor any particular part because I was black and blue just about everywhere. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but I could feel various pressure points without even moving. I think it's fair to note that that I didn't feel nauseous, which would usually accompany a night like the one I'd just been through. But alas, physical ailments were the least of my problems. I was in his bed. This was under my own volition I'll have you. It was my fault, no excuses this time. I could have fought, I could have tried harder- but I didn't.

It probably was at that moment I finally had the cojones to admit that I was changing- evolving into an aspect of myself I couldn't fully understand. The boy was wearing me down; he kept and kept at it. And it was working to a certain extent. Did I want to admit it? No. Did I want to accept it? No. But I was at least acknowledging it to myself. I liked him; I wanted things from him that I shouldn't have. The mere entertainment of that concept brought a shiver to my soul. I had to square with the fact that I was slowly and meticulously being carefully unraveled, undone.

It took me a few seconds to realize I was the only occupant of the bed. There was no weight or movement on the other side. I turned over. His side was cold and hadn't been occupied for quite some time. I don't know what scared me more; the fact that he'd woken up before me, or the fact that I didn't know where he was or what he had been doing.

_-"She shines, in a world full of ugliness. She matters when everything is meaningless. Fragile, she doesn't see her beauty, she tries to get away… sometimes it's just that nothing seems worth saving… I can't watch her slip away…I won't let you fall apart…"_ I wondered if I was dreaming. If I wasn't, Nine Inch Nails was playing somewhere.

All of my nerves stood up. I hadn't been awake thirty seconds and I was already feeling all sorts of incompatible emotions. It's kind of like having a cat. Well, in my experience anyway. I used to have this cat- Loki. I'd named him after the God of Mischief because that's exactly what he was. Whenever I got home he'd be hiding somewhere, just waiting to attack me when I was least expecting it- leaving various scrapes and cuts on my person. Eventually I had to give him away to a neighbor. For her, he's an angel. He doesn't pull the same things with her-only did it with me. Why couldn't Joker find someone else to bother? But did I want that? The truth is, I miss Loki- I miss that cat. But Joker isn't a cat. I couldn't just hand him off to my neighbor, unfortunately. Anyways I'm more of a dog person…

I quickly sat up. I didn't care how much it hurt. It was then that I first noticed the enormous window that spread the expanse of most of the west side of the apartment. Just like any other day it was gray and dreary. But right now it was particularly dark, and it was raining. I sighed- as if the streets weren't already enough of a mess let's add freezing rain! But I could leave that worry to the city; I needed to get out of that bed. As soon as I did I realized where the music was coming from. It was my phone. It took me a few seconds but I spotted it on the coffee table by the couch. I looked at the caller ID, it read "Me." Obviously he'd been messing and looking through my phone…I love NIN but that wasn't my ringtone. I took a beat then quickly picked it up.

"Hello?"

"I had a dream that you were in my apartment last night and we had mind blowing- pelvic crushing sex. But sadly, I woke up to find that instead we'd just argued about things that didn't matter…but you _were_ in my apartment." He exaggerated a sigh. "Anyways I trust you slept awful. How's the…well how's your entire body? I know after a night like that all I'd want was some Vicodin or a nice bottle of…Stolichnaya Gold Vodka."

I pursed my lips; he'd been in my apartment.

"Oh, by the way, I borrowed some Stolichnaya Gold Vodka from your apartment, along with some other things. Why do you keep Vodka in your closet?"

I was apprehensive to ask or say anything.

"You're awfully quiet," He started. "I can see that adorable befuddled look on your face… Or perhaps you're nervous… what with, all the implied intimacy of the night before. I'm sorry…I left you all alone. But I made sure to call the second you got up. Tell me, how's the morning after, well- afternoon?"

I swallowed, not wanting to talk about my current state- or anything about me. "What," I took a breath, trying to stay calm. Something was up. "What's going on?"

"You tell me."

The cops were certainly looking for me, I'm sure. It all came rushing back like a lightning bolt to the head. I was starting to remember. I was shaking now, visibly. I just had a horrible feeling in my gut. He had certainly been busy. Something was about to happen.

"Where are you?"

"Why, do you miss me?"

"I mean, why aren't you here?"

"It's sweet you're so worried, I was out running some errands you know- while you were sleeping off the stresses of yesterday evening. But let's not get into details; Presently, I'm enjoying the view."

My eyes darted across the loft. "Enjoying the view from where?"

"-A view from which I can see you pacing nervously in your bra and underwear."

I walked to the large pane window, maybe he was in an apartment across the way? I had to squint; I could barely see a thing. Then, in a rush a helicopter flew by. It was so close it shook the building. I almost fell backwards in shock.

Joker laughed, obviously able to see my reaction. "Hey Janie, Remember when you gave the cops my location?"

"Yes," There was no point in lying…

"Well, now I gave them yours."

I was frozen. "I don't understand."

"You might want to put some clothes on." He chuckled.

That was enough of that. I angrily hung up the phone.

The helicopter by flew again, this time with a huge spotlight shining in. The window was huge, you could practically see everything. I ducked quickly behind the couch.

"This is Gotham P.D. We have the building surrounded. Come out with your hands up."

"Jesus," I whispered to myself. This wasn't happening. I was clenching my phone so hard I'm surprised I didn't break it. I stared at it in disbelief. This was not a good start to the day, well I realized when I looked at the time it was 5:44 p.m. I guess I'd slept most of the day… I looked next to me. Hanging on the back of the couch was his purple jacket. I shrugged. I didn't want to- but I wasn't about to meet anyone in my underwear. Plus, I wasn't about to go wasting time looking for mine. I could hear various sirens along with helicopter blades. I tried to catch my breath. I honestly didn't know what to do. I certainly hope they didn't come in shooting.

"Release any and all hostages immediately." The man on the helicopter intercom announced.

It was then it hit me- I took out my phone and dialed him back.

"Yeees…" He spoke. His voice was laced with tickled amusement.

I allowed myself a small grin. "So this was your plan? To turn me over to the police?"

"Well, that's wishful thinking."

"You know, you did kidnap me. If anything they're here to rescue me." I walked towards the door.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you…" He warned.

I halted my motion. I could hear footsteps pounding on the stairs. They were running up swiftly to the apartment. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, take a few more steps back, this is going to get messy…and I'd hate you to mess up my jacket," He paused. "Well, any more than it already is..."

I walked backwards as I stared at the door cautiously. "Joker,"

"Just make sure you stay away from that doorway." The police kicked the door open. Three lasers from their guns aimed themselves at my chest.

"Walk backwards slowly, they're not going to hurt you." He assured. "After all, they're here to rescue you right?"

The man in the front stood at the threshold. He nodded towards me slowly. "It's okay Miss- where is he?"

I immediately recognized him. He was about sixty years old- 250+ pounds with a bushy gray moustache. My jaw dropped. I felt as if I was punched in the stomach. I had actually involuntarily grabbed a hold of it. Nothing, no face could have shocked me more. A mixture of anger and fear swam through my veins.

He obviously recognized me too. His mouth hung slightly agape. He took a moment to register then ordered his men to steady their guns off of me, all the while trying to ignore my stare.

"Now here's the test," Joker continued. "Will she go with the boys in blue, or won't she? What's it going to be Janie girl?

"Why are you doing this?" I had completely forgotten I was holding the phone to my ear.

Officer Harold Shive took an uncomfortable breath. "Is that him on the phone?" He asked, trying to focus on the task at hand "Give it here."

"Put me on speaker Janie, I'll tell him what he needs to hear."

I shook my head; it was a no for both commands.

"It's okay," Shive started to assure me. "It's going to be okay."

I tried to remind myself of who I was- and everything I'd been through. Because briefly I was 15 again, 15 and helpless. I needed to steady myself, and my thoughts. It was hard though, being face to face with my past. But at present, he was trying to help me…I think.

"Listen doll, it is very simple- I'm giving you an easy out- the perfect reprisal of vengeance. Now, I know you know the old cop heading up the others…the one staring at you with a mixture of guilt and utter disbelief."

I swallowed.

"And I know what he did; I did a little research while you were sleeping."

"What of it?" I spoke quickly, trying to steady my breathing.

"Like I said, it's very simple; they step through door, you get your revenge. Officer Shive, the one that caused you all that unnecessary turmoil will die, your choice."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what I said." Joker spoke plainly. "He steps through the doorway he dies. Now, you can tell him or you can let it be. What are you going to do?"

Before I could say anything, Shive interjected.

-"Jane, just give me the phone!" He stepped through the doorway, when he did there was a sort of popping noise, like a string cutting loose. Various clanks and clinks organized themselves. It took me a moment, but I finally understood.

"Don't!" I shouted, but it was too late. Some sort of bomb set off. Three police officers body parts were blown into dozens of pieces.

I can't remember if I screamed. I had simply sunk to the floor, clenching my stomach. I felt like gagging, throwing up. But my stomach seemed empty. Nothing would come, only shallow short breaths and coughs. I'm not sure I could process anything yet, but the phone remained molded to my ear.

"Now Janie, I know that was eventful- but you've got to make another choice. In about a minute and a half the second wave of police will be coming up. So I'm going to let you chose- deal with them-or come with me? One minute ten seconds."

I was speechless, I could hardly move.

"…Janie! Come on, come on, I need an answer."

I shook my head and dropped my phone. I heard a growl from his end and a loud noise from behind me. Joker emerged from a room I didn't even realize was there.

"What are you doing?" I spoke numbly.

"You were taking too long!" He grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. Somehow I started walking with him.

"I thought you were going to let me choose."

"Next time," We stepped over the various body parts. My bare feet slipped on the mixture of their blood but Joker saved me from falling and dragged me out the front door.

"Wipe your feet dear; we wouldn't want to leave bread crumbs." He gestured towards the mat sitting outside his doorway. My feet begrudgingly did so in unison with his shoes. I shook my head, rattled by the fact I'd done that so casually. He nodded in satisfaction then quickly yanked me down the stairs.

I was becoming a little more coherent now. And the more I became aware, the angrier I grew.

"You look good wearing my jacket." He mused and continued down another flight and threw open the corridor. There was a small maintenance closet at the end of the hallway. He opened it and gestured for me to go in. I could hear the police coming up the stairs. Joker gestured his hand once more in impatience. I sluggishly and ruinously took those few fatal steps. He shut the door and locked it behind him.

"Now," He started. "How did you sleep? Are you feeling better?" He turned to me. The room was small and crowded with cleaning supplies.

"What the fuck was that?" I spoke, almost too winded and angry to speak.

"Janie, you should probably keep your voice down, Shive's friends are about."

"Why did you do that?" I repeated.

"Just doing you a favor Janie, just a favor." His hand ran through my hair, I smacked it away.

"You had no right to go digging into my life."

"I must say it wasn't easy. Your juvi-record was sealed pretty tight. It was hard finding the actual file…but sure enough- it was in the archives." He looked up to me, judging my reaction. "What I don't get is why you cooperate with the police at all. I mean, after them not believing you, after Shive gets a commendation for bravery!" He laughed. "When in truth…"

I was fuming from the inside out- and without thinking, decked him on the left side of his face. Joker tumbled backwards and tripped over various buckets and maintenance tools. He finally caught his balance by placing his hand on a small metal table to the right of where we were standing. I'd caught the side of his lip; blood fell from his red smeared lips to his white chin. He grinned a little, but his jaw was set in anger.

I couldn't keep up with my breath, everything was surfacing. In that moment I had a frightening clarity. I unexpectedly became aware of what it was we had in common- trouble reconciling with anger and hurt from the past. Generally, his anger was much more dangerous. The rage arose from the darkest and most painful dreaded depths of his mind. They couldn't help but pull at his person, forcing him to be the monster that he was. He knew no other way. Unlike me, he'd never been particularly good at hiding it. But in that moment, I could hide it no longer.

I matched his glare; I then precipitously understood his eyes. Yes, they weren't threatening, but mostly they were frenzied, chaotic- just like his heart. He was never at rest. Too many demons were swirling about in that head of his.

"You remind me of the things I hate in myself." I carelessly spoke aloud, a choice of my own volition. I grabbed his arm and pulled it toward me. I gasped in shock of myself- not really sure of my actions. I hadn't the slightest clue what possessed me to do it, to grab and hold him like that. Not that it mattered though; all he needed was the smallest of invitations.

He took his hand and slid it under the jacket, resting it firmly on the small of my back. He brought me closer with a substantial jerk. I almost coughed at the force. Instead I mistakenly let out an '_Mmph'_ noise. He grinned a little, letting me know he was in charge. I rolled my eyes.

"Get off it." I smirked angrily.

He scoffed an airy laugh then pushed me backwards, my back smacked hard into the wall. His frame was in merger with mine in seconds, but his height glowered over me. His eyes attempted to guarantee once more his dominance. He decidedly smoothed back the hair on my right side and settled his hand on my neck.

I took my own hands and pushed on his chest. He flew backwards a few steps in laughter, making a mess of whatever metal objects he was tripping over. All the while he was rubbing his hands to his face, making it more of a make-upped mess than it already was.

"Stop making such a ruckus," He playfully chided. "You've got to learn to calculate your movements..."

I walked towards him and grabbed his vest. I pulled his glance down just enough to kiss him. Our eyes closed in unison. He tangled his fingers in my hair with one hand and unbuttoned with the other. He quickly removed both his vest and jacket. He had to release our hold for a moment as he worked on his shirt- all the while staring at me with jumpy and precarious anticipation. I'll be truthful- at the moment I was briefly apprehensive. A wave of panic swam over me. But I pushed it down, down as deep as I could. It could just be repressed and temporarily forgotten- just like everything else.

He was shirtless now, the dark room didn't allow either one of us to see much, only close up glances. But we made up for the missing sense in touch. Joker lifted me up from the ground and slammed my spine against the small table.

He was upon me fast, making sure I knew he was there. "So, finally, with great exultation I shall conquer my red headed beauty." He narrated as he abruptly pulled his pants and effortlessly slid down my underwear. He pushed inside of me.

I had no time to even react. My face was set, my mouth slightly agape as he occupied my body. He'd warned that he didn't know the first thing about making love. Clearly to him it was a waste of time. Slow and careful movements were not his forte. No, he would seize each thrust with zest, with unnecessarily excessive and treacherous gusto. I hardly had time to become cognizant of what had happened. The only feelings I felt were that of quivers and shakes. Having the awareness he was inside me, it was almost too much to endure. It wasn't good or bad- anyone who's had a similar experience knows what I'm speaking of. It's an overwhelming feeling of abandonment of oneself. But simultaneously you are uniting with this other life-force, this other being. You are, for a brief moment- one. My eyes shot this awareness towards his. To my horror, he was already looking straight at me. He knew my revelation before I'd made it known, because he'd felt it too. He continued to triumph over my reason with erratic and constantly changeable strides, and I allowed it. I laid back on the table, he fittingly and tactfully followed. We locked stares now fully; naturally this did not terrify him as it did me.

"Shh," He commanded, speaking only to my thoughts- the millions of fluttering worries scurrying about in my head.

It was only the first few seconds that I was idle. Shortly after, I found to moving my hips and body along with his, wrapping my legs around him. Like I said, it was dark. But I could feel. His entire body was cruelly decorated with various bumps and scars. It was not the body of a man of leisure. The bumps and scars spelled out stories and patterns that no one, including him, would ever wish to know- that is except for me. I wanted to see him, know all of him. It was an infatuated approach that at the moment was the only thing that could possess my consciousness. He had entered me in more ways than one. I could feel him, I could feel him clouding and sinking into every aspect of my being. I couldn't contemplate and feel anything but. The only comfort or solace I could take was that I knew my feelings were fully reciprocated. There was no doubt he felt the same way. His actions let me know this. I felt his gloved hand slide beneath the fabric of my bra. He moved his palm up and down. It was a weird sensation – the leather dancing up and down my skin. I giggled a bit. He quickly retracted and removed his glove with his teeth and the other with his newly bare hand. After that brief task, he returned to his exploration. This time his other hand joined in. The sensation was palpable, and I was eager to revel in it. Like all men he was fascinated with breasts. He played with them, toyed with them. He particularly enjoyed squeezing them until I yelped in slight discomfort. Truth be told I was beat up and aching all over… His squeeze paled in comparison to the other pains I felt, but was trying to pay no attention to.

He laughed a little and grabbed my hands. He placed them on his rear as a starting place, encouraging me to start my own exploration or expedition. I leaned upward and kissed his lips. I tasted blood on them- probably his. But I also remembered the grotesque gaping cut I had on my chest. There was a probability that it was my blood as well. I briefly thought of the smeared makeup I would have all over my face. A strange smiled spread across my face in the awareness. I ran my hand up through his hair; Though I wasn't as gentle with his as he was with mine. In fact, I gave it a nice, hard jerk. I don't know exactly why. Maybe it was payback.

"Ow," he scolded and looked to me. I was angry with him, for a multitude of reasons. And if looks could kill, we'd both be dead. His punishment came in the form of his thrusting deeper and shamelessly into my person, pressing my body harder into the table. It really was an awkward position. And if it weren't for his insistent 'pangs of pleasure' we wouldn't have stayed in place as long. But he took notice of my struggle to stay situated and lowered us to the floor.

I don't know what it was exactly. Maybe it was the cold, unforgiving concrete on my back. I was suddenly forced to contemplate other things. My mind began to wander, and Joker quickly became aware and was very ever so intuitive of the fact. He tried to entice me. He tried to bring my focus back by firmer thrusts and adamant attention to his rhythm- a violent and not at all tactful approach. I looked up and glowered at him and bucked my hips in a halfhearted attempt to knock him off. He laughed but continued his persistent invasion. But I did it again.

"Stop it Janie."

I turned my head away, only briefly, but it seemed to infuriate him to no end. He even growled.

"Look at me." He told me in the softest yet sternest voice possible, still wanting to maintain his role as a lover. His hand hurriedly turned my chin towards his face.

"Look at me." He repeated. His coal-lined eyes penetrating mine, ever so intent on their purpose.

I didn't blame his effort. He wanted that connection back. He wanted it to be as deep and penetrating for me as it was for him. But it was- that was the problem.

When I resisted, he seemed to abandon any softness in his being.

"You're thinking about all of them. I can't have that, you're better than that. Let it go," he commanded.

I shook my head.

"Yes you can. You know why? Because unlike aaaaalll of them," He took a beat and leaned down towards my ear. "I see you, they don't. No one will ever see you like I do."

My brow lowered in a pensive contortion. He slid my back across the floor a bit as he sat me up in his lap and pulled me in. We fit well together on the floor but I knew what he was doing- he needed to be closer. I'd never admit aloud, but I wanted it too. I wanted to know I wasn't alone in this determined darkness- that I wasn't facing the calamitous maelstrom that is life by myself. I needed to know it just as much as he did. Plus, this was a window of opportunity for him to remove the jacket and my bra. After that, we were chest to chest. My breasts pressed against him. His arms, his body was like a serpent. He clung to me, and stayed. I tried to subdue my breathing, and somehow in the process found my forehead pressed against his. It took a little courage, but I looked directly at him. He was truly handsome- scars or no. His face was sculpted, it was strong. And those eyes, he didn't need bright eyes, that's okay- mine aren't bright either. No his eyes were/are stormy and dark. His were so dark that one couldn't really stare at them for too long. Like a black hole they sucked you right in, just like he wanted. His smile was bigger than Texas. This was always his goal- to conquer, and get that acknowledgment. But in that moment, there was no way I could deny him what he wanted. In defeat, I moved my head past his and rested my chin on his neck. I could definitely feel my knife cut now, blood seemed to effortlessly trickle out of it. I struggled with the mild pain, even vocally cried a bit. But I was close. Having a girl climax first is a rare coup. But with us girls, it's also very cerebral. And he'd been stroking my intellect like nobody's business. In fact in looking back- ever since he'd met me it was all foreplay. I tried to find something to hold onto as I trembled with pleasure in a delectable frenzy. My arm flailed as I scrambled around with no avail. Startlingly, his hand was quickly there to take ownership of mine, as if he knew, enveloping his larger fingers in my smaller ones. He moved my hand to his neck.

"Hold onto me." He insisted, uniting us fully. We intertwined again. I wanted to relax, but there was no chance, I was stuck there. Perpetually in that moment I would stay. He was working up his own culmination, which quickly followed another one of mine.

…

I was exhausted. First of all, I wasn't in the best of ways going into the process. But I don't know how many more times we had sex, three? four? I could hear someone walking about in the hall outside right about the time I traced my finger from his back to his neck, causing him to shutter deeply and collapse on top of me. It's always the little things that get men. Anyways, Joker said that it was probably the homeless man gathering recyclables down the hallway. He says he usually comes around eight-eight thirty. He then laughed and said he was _coming_ at the same time too. We were sweating from head to toe. Normally, I hated being so hot. But being that I'd been one the brink of death because of coldness as of late, the warmth was welcome. People speak of sweat as if it's such a nasty thing. But sweat is natural and particularly natural after such a workout. I was in a haze. I could only concentrate on the intense and exceedingly forceful manifestation of man that I had just disastrously decided to have sex with.

We were laying skin-to-skin, but had separated our arms and legs to catch a little oxygen. We were staring up at the ceiling that we really couldn't see.

"This is boring, I can't see anything." He remarked after a few seconds. He turned his side to face me. It took me a little longer to turn to him. I was petrified whilst I contemplated what had just transpired. I slowly turned to face him. I was lying on one of his jackets. He pulled on its sleeve to slide me closer. His arms latched themselves around me as if I were one of his most prized and costly belongings. All I could do was look at him, honestly too afraid to say anything.

"Janie, Janie, Janie… it's like you reached into my chest cavity and wrapped your fingers around all the sticky, stringy parts. And I don't mean it in a sappy way doll; I mean it as you have your claws sunk in. They're all bloody and starting to become a natural part of my insides."

I was in shock. That was, overwhelming to say the least.

"I surmise this is why I desired to kill for you and didn't just kill you this morning." He laughed as if it was no big deal. "But I, in pride must also speak well of my own sexual prowess…not just yours."

My chest was rising and falling, I had just had sex with a man that has certainly killed more people than years I had been alive.

"I can't believe we just did that."

"Sure you can."

"Okay, I can't believe that I just did that."

Joker laughed. He laughed a big and hearty laugh. His chest I was laying on shook in utter amusement. "Which time Janie?"

"I know better, I know better but I did it anyway."

"You have a very dual temperament, very changeable. One minute you're hot and next you're cold. But I'm not entirely convinced of it."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, but they've tried to beat you down doll. But not quite, there's that extra oomph that you possess that they can't quite seem to steal. You only pretend to be inconsistent, because you're told to be afraid of what you truly feel. Be-cause what you truly feel is not in check with what they want you to feel. It's a level of cognizance that is disturbing to them. It goes against their so-called morality- the only means of keeping all of the sheep locked in the gate."

"I've acknowledged that you're right concerning that,"

"Only from a safe distance," he rebuffed.

What he was saying resonated pretty heavily. Obviously with Joker there was no light pillow talk. But of course- there were no pillows because were in a maintenance closet. I was beaten up, sore, hungry, and thirsty. But no I had to wake up and have sex with a sociopath cause- you know, those are the kinds of decisions I'm making these days. Like I said earlier, he was wearing me down. And he did in a way- obviously. But I had to; at all costs maintain my obstinacy. I also needed to stop flip-flopping with my mind. I needed to stop trying to find logic in a situation where there was none. I needed to face the reality at hand.

"I want to go home." I spoke rather resolutely yet sounding like a ten-year-old in the process. But I did want to go home, I needed to go home. I needed to get away from him and sort myself out. I needed to go back and retreat to my solitary existence. I was safe there-

"Even if that were to happen, you couldn't go back to your life Janie. That is long gone now."

I tightened my face, an attempt to deflect his words. If I could deflect them, they could not hold any meaning. My lips moved to form a 'Wh' word. I just didn't know which one to start with.

"Why do you say that?"

"You know," Now it was his turn to deflect. "You have all the makings of a criminal mastermind- very unpredictable."

"Oh no, You're not about to make me your little sidekick. Just because I had sex with you doesn't mean you've won anything."

"Oh I'd beg to differ," He grinned.

"I'm not about to take to a life of crime."

"Haven't you already done that? Having sex isn't a crime, but running around with me- saving me from Maroni…not cooperating with the police sure is."

"Well, no more than I already have then." I paused. "Why did you do that? With Officer Shive?"

"The question is why didn't you do it long ago? And he's not an Officer anymore. His corpse pieces don't need or deserve your respect."

"I didn't want him to die."

"Don't lie to me." He placed his hand on my cheek. "Of course you did. This way it just happened. It was guaranteed. And you can sleep well in knowing he's dead."

"I was already sleeping fine."

"Let's not deal in semantics- why don't you tell me the story?"

"The story?"

"The one about your father, and the fire."

"You already read the file."

"Of course I did, since you're so closed off what else was I supposed to do?"

I laughed. "It's not like you've shared anything about yourself."

"I have nothing to hide. As I said before, what you see is what you get."

"You don't even know what you're saying. Something made you what you are. You just don't know what it is, you can't remember. Either that or you just don't want to." I was being bold, my words scaring even myself.

"It doesn't work that way with me doll. It's not like with you- knowing my past isn't knowing me. But it is with you."

"That's not true, your past is everything. It's what makes you."

"Not me."

"All of us, you're no exception."

"Why are you so afraid of what other people think?"

"What can I say; I have average fears about getting in trouble with the law."

"They can't do anything to you; I won't let them touch you."

"They can sure as shit shoot me, or arrest me… lock me up."

"I think I like it most when you swear." He rolled on top of me, "Swear some more."

"You didn't give me a choice, with Shive. He was going to die regardless of what I did."

"Well that's true," He quickly sat up, dragging me along. "Everyone dies eventually." He moved us to where we were leaning against the wall. He took his jacket and draped it over my shoulders.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"You could have told him, you knew the second he busted through that door that it wasn't a coincidence."

"Why did you do it?"

"What do you mean why did I do it? I just did it. It was the only logical thing to do."

I had to laugh; his statement was so morbid, only Joker could truly be serious while saying it.

"Think of it, as a gift." He started. "Like I said, the guy had it coming. I mean, blaming a fire and the death of her father on a kid, come on now that's mighty unkind."

"So you're a vigilante now? Seeking reprisal for others?"

"You know better, my intent is not even remotely that pure. I was merely taking an interest in you…now, about that story."

I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to repeat it. "Why?"

"Because you need to let it out, I'll bet you haven't told a soul, have you? You like to push it down, to let it simmer. It makes you tough- helps your mind and thoughts to become impenetrable."

"Now you're my therapist?"

"That's right, now- tell me Archer, what really happened the night of your father's death?"

I had no desire to go through this. But I know exactly why he was doing it. He had dug in my past and found that focal point, that one isolated incident that changed me forever. He had one of those or several…

"I'll tell you what the police report said then," He began. "… Your father- a one William Archer, retired military, had a custom weapons store," He stopped. "That's my kind of guy and I'm surprised you didn't tell me Janie! It explains your lure and knowledge of weapons."

"Can this be all?"

"But I'm not done,"

"Yes, you're done. I know who my father is and you read my statement. I didn't see it then but it's obvious now. It wasn't a standard robbery; he dealt weapons on a large scale. Something went wrong and he got in with bad people. They made his death look like an accident. The only problem was me- the loose end. I just happened to be there, watching three men run away from the store. But that's fine because this is Gotham- the most corrupt city on earth. Of course they had cops that would cover up their bloody tracks they left behind- making me look like a clumsy junior arsonist." Joker was right; I'd never voiced this to anyone. But this was what he lived for- his purpose. He wanted to point out the meaninglessness of life and its random occurrences. He wanted to prove to me that our scars were the same.

"You said last night that his death was your fault…fault implies you taking a certain action directly towards the subject, and you didn't."

"How do you even remember that? All I did last night was babble…"

"I remember everything."

"If I would have done something,"

"Don't do that, you're too good to have regret. You said it yourself- Gotham is corrupt. Honestly the odds weren't in your favor…But that was then see, now- just earlier you were able to get retribution."

"Is that what you call it? Making me face Shive then blowing him up."

"He certainly got a surprise. But that's only the beginning. I think you can do so much more. We can kill them all."

"This isn't some revenge movie. And I don't know who it was my father was involved with."

"We can easily find out…"

"No, I don't want to."

Joker laughed. "You don't have to pretend with me, of course you do. Admit it- didn't it feel good, Shive's surprise…the look on his face right before he blew up in several pieces."

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't relish in the sight of strewn body parts as much as you do."

"I'm not some sort of sadist."

"You are the very definition of sadist." I corrected.

"No no, see I take pleasure in everything- because everything I do is what I want to do."

"The majority of what you do is inflicting harm upon others."

"I don't harm you, aren't you an 'other'?"

"But you want to harm me."

"Oh, not right now." He pulled me in and tucked my head under his chin as he gave me a squeeze. "Okay, maybe I do take pleasure out of inflicting pain. But it's just so much fun. But you enjoyed seeing Shive blow to smithereens, I know it."

"Oh okay, and there's nothing wrong with letting the other cops die along with him?"

"There are always casualties in a battle."

"This is not a war."

"Shush cherry, of course it is. All is war. Human beings are never at peace. There is always...something. It's in our nature Janie. Now," He caressed my neck and craned it towards him gently. My eyelids fell, anticipating the kiss I knew was coming. I mentally slapped myself, but sure enough it came. His lips were as fervent as ever. "I'll take you home, because it's what you want. But you can't stay, you won't stay." He insisted- shaking his head feverishly like the fanatic he was. Not to blow my own horn, but it was obvious he was just a little bit taken by me. But the problem lied in the fact that he knew without question his attentiveness and curiosity was reciprocated.

And I was respectively terrified by his threat. But I was adamant. I needed to go home- even if it meant facing the cops and feeding them yet another inaccurate story. I needed a shred of normalcy; I needed to savor it, treasure it, and protect it. I knew that if I didn't I would never see that normality again.

I nodded and fumbled around for my- _clothes._ I shook my head, feeling shame rise inside of me.

"I don't even have clothes." I laughed, as if anything like that even mattered in light of everything else.

Joker had stepped up on top of the metal table. He knocked a panel of the ceiling over. "Not to worry, I brought you some." He aptly tossed me my blue duffel bag and climbed down. He began searching for his clothes as well. I opened the duffle bag. I was relieved to find a pair of my jeans and my navy sweater. I put all of my clothes on in record time.

"Why did you go to my apartment?"

"I wanted to get you some things, you know- to keep at my place. And I put some of my things in yours." He shrugged. "That's what you do when you're in a relationship- you share things."

I shuddered at the thought- wondering what surprises awaited me- not at all wanting to face them.

Joker was dressed now as well. He climbed back up to the ceiling and lowered his hand.

I looked up to him perplexedly. "We haven't heard the cops in over an hour." The truth was, I was entirely too sore to do anything but walk. I wasn't sure if I could endure crawling through metal vents.

"They're still around, and they know we're in here."

My eyes widened in horror. "What?"

"They're held up just down the stairs and up the stairs to ambush us whenever we decide to come out."

"What do you mean?"

"What, you're surprised? I mean- Gotham PD is inept sure- but not that inept."

I reached my hand up to grab his, the awareness was sinking in. "We just, they heard everything?" Well, my life was over. I crawled on top of the favor and climbed up to the vents.

Joker laughed at my shock. "No Janie. They know we're on this floor. I made sure all the doors are impermeable."

"Why would you make them think you're on a floor that you are actually on?" I was right, crawling hurt. All I wanted was to lie down.

"Like I said, it's Gotham PD. They would never figure it out."

This ceiling was like a labyrinth or maze. All I could do was follow him- all the while feeling like a helpless, gullible idiot that I was.

After some time, Joker stopped and kicked a panel down beneath him. He took the duffle bag off of his shoulder and opened it. He pulled out a rope and tied it to the poles that held the structure up.

Joker turned and grinned…not that I had completely figured him out or anything- but I'd seen that grin before.

"Last chance Janie girl, come with me? We can uh," He pressed his tongue to his cheek. "Catch a movie or something…"

I shook my head. "I'm not changing my mind. I need to go home."

He chuckled. "I figured as much," without warning, he grabbed my arm began to tie my wrist to the rope.

I tried to jerk it back, but he pulled me back. My eyes widened. "What are you doing?"

He didn't say anything; he just kept tying my right arm.

"Joker!' I raised my voice.

He seemed to be finished tying now, He looked up to me. "My girl's so pretty," He remarked as he ran his gloved hand down my cheek. He grabbed my chin and pulled me in for a kiss. His lips smacked into mine- hard and immovable.

I moaned, unable to really do anything but- it was cramped and his hold rather overpowered my tired, worn person.

He released the kiss, but held onto my chin. He smiled and took a breath. "I'll miss you Janie, don't go flirting with other costumes now, I think you know who I mean. Now," He started. "Hold on."

I lowered my brow in confusion. "What?"

He grabbed my waist and pushed me past him. My legs dangled only for a second. He then quickly pushed me the rest of the way down through open panel. Luckily I quickly understood what he meant by "hold on," I grabbed the rope with my left hand above where it was tied on the right and held on for dear life. The fall knocked the wind out of me a bit; I struggled, trying to catch my breath. Now I was swinging, dangling about twelve to fifteen feet above the floor of his loft. My hand was stuck in the knot of the rope, I couldn't wiggle it out. I looked up to him.

"What are you doing?" I spoke through shallow coughs.

Joker looked down towards me with counterfeit compassion. "I know- you're already so tired and beat up. I'm sorry, but you said you wanted to go home…"

"So you're going to just leave me here to die?" I pulled my head to look back up towards him.

He laughed heartily. "Sometimes you're so dramatic my pretty. Of course I'm not. Plus, we just had hours of sex. You're not in that bad of shape that hanging from a rope would kill you." His words were laced with shock. "Of all the things…" He moved his eyes to gesture outside towards the window. "Keep your eyes on the night…your soldier in the sky will be here soon enough."

I suddenly understood. I was bait- bait for Batman.

"Unless you've changed your mind, I'd love it if you came along…There are so many things to do in the coming days. And being we're officially an item now…"

"You're trying to pull me away from the world and isolate me. It's not healthy, no matter the way, I have to go home."

"Alright stubborn girlie," Joker chuckled. "It's not like it's hard though, look how you live…you were already certainly on the peripheral…long before I came around. You're very much like me in that aspect. My presence in your life was not even enough of a change to dignify with an explanation doll."

I moaned a little, I had to lower my head. It was hard to keep it raised.

"Maybe it's good we can have this little break, though I'm not fond of breaks…" He mused. "And I'm not going to be without you for very long. I just never seem to get any actual work done when you're around- You're quite the distraction."

I didn't care about his flattery. I was livid-furious. But I was also helpless. I suddenly understood that probably his goal. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Oh Janie, I'm doing this for you. It will keep up your little good girl charade- keep them all going for a while longer. But simultaneously- I needed to embarrass that ego of yours a bit. Being you did call the cops on me…" He took the rope and started to swing it.

"Stop it." The strain on my wrist was starting to ache.

"See, the balance and weight of our relationship- it's just not fair." He began, "It's all out of whack, and you know like anyone else that relationships are all about sharing and being equal. This will set it right sweet cheeks. And let's be honest, I need that gratification. Give and take Janie, give and take." He said as he continued to swing the rope.

I was silent. I was dizzy, my vision blurry. I tried to shake it off. I had to fight it.

"Don't worry, he'll be along- he can't resist being the hero…even if he pretends not to be one. And I'll be around, just in case." He was silent for a moment.

This wasn't a game of cat and mouse anymore. I now understood that I was somewhat of an adversary to his gains. It made sense- that's how he understood the world to work. Everyone is at odds with everyone else. We're at odds because we all have different goals.

I wasn't going to pass out anymore. In a way, I had him to thank for that. He' fed me the anger, the will to hold on. His venomous and distorted words made me stronger. I lifted my head again and glared into his dark, coal eyes. "I hate you." I voiced. It took all the strength I had to push those words out, but I did it.

"I believe you." He grinned and winked. "See you soon Janie." With that, he disappeared into the shadows.

I lowered my head and looked down around me. The police had set a perimeter tape outside the door. From the looks of it, they hadn't come in the apartment yet. They were probably afraid there was another bomb. I knew better though. Joker had already proved his point, there wasn't another one.

I took practiced slow breaths now, trying to maintain my wits as my left hand gripped to relieve my right one. I stared at the cold, dark night- a reflection of the person I was turning into. The rain had turned into snow again. It was just black and white- and darkness. I stared through the glass- taking solace in the fact that the night shared my detachment, the lack of feeling in my soul.

Not a moment later, I heard various thumps. Gadgets that looked like tiny digital watch faces appeared on the window. Their timers counted down for a few seconds and blew the glass to pieces. A black arrow connected to a cable shot on one of the rafters about three or four feet next to me. In seconds, the black crusader had swung almost instantly to my side.

I smiled to him. A bit relieved that I would soon no longer have to hang on display like an ornament.

His long arms wrapped around my waist. He took a curved knife off of his utility belt.

"When I say," He began, "You will need to let go…can you do that?"

I scoffed a bit. "Without hesitation." I assured him. He nodded and cut the rope. I let go of the rope and he caught my arm. The other I wrapped around his back.

"The apartment floor is fine; there's no bomb. We can walk out the door."

"I'm not in the business of taking unnecessary risks." He dryly remarked and shot another line of cable outside the window. In seconds, we swung outside. My feet were still bare; Joker had neglected to grab any of my shoes. My feet pressed down on the metal stairs on the side of the building. Even though it was slightly painful, it was a welcome relief from their numb dangling.

"Can you stand?" He asked briskly. I realized his arm was still holding me up.

"Let me try," I started. His arm moved and so did I. I swayed a bit and caught my balance on the railing. Batman took notice of my bare feet. I guess this was the time he became acutely aware I wasn't in peak condition.

"You're bleeding." He spoke hastily; blood had oozed out from my knife wound through my sweater.

"Oh yeah, In addition to the Joker- I also got to spend some time with Victor Zsasz last night."

Batman was silent. I'm not sure if he was concerned or just condemning of my jesting about the whole situation.

"What did they do to …" He stopped. I guess he was not entirely sure he wanted to know what they did to me. "You need to get to a hospital."

I shook my head. "I'm bruised and cut. I need a shower, food, and some strong pain killers." I decided.

"You need serious medical…"

"Didn't he just blow up a hospital a few months ago? I'm not about to be the reason he blows up or terrorizes another one."

He'd lowered us to the ground now. The cop cars and ambulance were about a block down. His large, threatening vehicle was parked next to us. He opened the doors and slid me in the passenger side. Sitting down was a welcome relief. I immediately rested my head on the window. The inside of the vehicle was warm. No sort of outside air got in.

Batman got in the driver's seat and drove off.

"Thank you, for saving me." I spoke, more conscious of my injuries now I was at rest. "He said you would come."

"Who said?" He asked, knowing full well…

"The Joker,"

"What did he tell you while he had you?"

"I don't think I'll be able to stay awake long enough to tell you everything." I shook my head. "Is Gordon okay?"

"The bullet went through his shoulder blade. He's going to be alright."

I felt like crying in relief. Well, I wanted to cry for a lot of reasons…All of which were in that moment bubbling on the surface. "How do you do it?" I turned to him, eagerly waiting, needing his response.

"Do what?"

"How do you reconcile with all of the darkness? How do you balance the anger stirring inside of you- the rage? You do good things for people. You have fury in your heart but you still persevere. My question is how in the world is that possible?" Maybe it was my deteriorating condition, but I felt as if I had to speak to someone about it. I could feel a tear fall from my cheek. I'd never been able to actually cry, ever since that night my father died. I'd never been able to actually just let go, let it fall. But what I had been through, what I had done was all coming full circle. And he was the only other person, besides Joker that could possibly comprehend what I was talking about.

He was silent for a long time. I guess he didn't want to speak. I took a shaky breath and decided to ignore it. I didn't deserve an answer. He'd saved my life- he'd saved it when I didn't have the good sense to try and save it myself.

"I face it." He spoke firmly, as if that was his final answer.

"What?"

"I stare at it square on, and I embrace it. Because what it truly is, is fear. The darkness for me is a tool. I use it to relate to those who abuse it-my adversaries. I use it so I can ultimately defeat them." He spoke surely, all the while keeping his eyes and head staring forward.

"Doesn't that get…desolate and lonely?"

His face was placid. There might have been the slightest twitch, but I couldn't be sure. "Lonely is a state of mind, it can be overcome…just like everything else."

I nodded. I supposed he would say something like that. "Maybe you just need someone to share your secret with…to quell the darkness." I looked down, embarrassed at how presumptuous I was acting. It was obviously the influence of the company I'd been keeping recently…

"You have the capacity to face it. I've seen that ability in you." He spoke, evading my forward remarks.

"Thank you, I'm just not entirely sure I can be trusted with it." I spoke, before even considering what I'd just said- Both of us simultaneously realizing that that was a confession.

"You can make that choice for yourself, Jane. Whatever happened, you control how it affects you."

"He kissed me, several times." I blurted out, horrified but relieved of my admission. Though we did do so much more- I would never admit that.

"I know." He spoke surprisingly.

I lowered my brow. "How?"

"His makeup, it's all over your face."

Thank God it was dark, I turned bright red. Though I was eternally grateful I was clothed. Upon quick reflection, it was obvious further evidence of him was all over me.

"Did he," Batman was hesitant to go further. Naturally…

"He didn't rape me." I spoke assuredly, and truthfully.

He gave me the smallest of nods, acknowledging and accepting my words.

"But," I started. "He's…he likes me and his attachment to me I can certainly see…it's dangerous."

"There's something you need to see." He aptly spoke, as if he wasn't listening at all. I had no choice but to nod, and wait for him to show me whatever it was.

…

My apartment was ransacked-torn apart by a combination of Joker and the police. Things were in total and utter disarray. I walked in and ducked under the police tape. Batman came in quickly behind me. Everything was destroyed. I suddenly understood what the Joker was saying earlier…this was why I wouldn't stay home- I had no home to go back to.

My couch was ripped apart, my bed- artwork was missing- the kitchen was destroyed. Every book I'd ever owned was gone. My laptop was missing. I barely recognized the apartment I was standing in.

"The Mayor appointed a new provisional Commissioner; Harvey Bullock. He is heading up the investigation now- in trying to catch Joker. You're now seen as a person of interest- a possible accomplice."

"What?" I turned around to face him, not wanting to believe what I was hearing.

"Orders of Gotham PD are to arrest you on site. And keep you for holding and questioning."

"Can they do that? What about Gordon?"

"With Gordon in the hospital and the level of people affected by the Joker's activities, the Mayor wants this resolved. You're being used as bait- to catch him."

"What? No I,"

"They're going to hold you, to keep you in jail. Your face will be highly publicized- spread across all the outlets of media. It's an attempt to lure him in to come get you."

"Isn't that, that's what the news said you did with Harvey Dent? He pretended to be you to lure Joker out?"

"That's why it won't work. He'll immediately recognize it for what it is."

"So, what are you going to do?" I took a breath, preparing myself for whatever was to come.

"That's up to you. I want to help you Jane. I know enough about you to know you would hate the idea of being in any sort of spotlight."

I nodded aptly.

"But I don't know if I can trust you, I know you like him."

The words stung me, but only because they were true. It's just that someone else was aware of it. The awareness that he _knew_ was unnerving. But Batman was being genuine; he was trying to help me.

"I'm also know that you know better. He wears people down, gets in their heads. But I believe you're strong enough to resist, you can help me- we can catch him Jane."

I'll have to be honest; it was nice to be called Jane. I'd been with Joker so long, I'd started to reconcile with the fact that I was in fact this Janie girl he spoke of. But he was only partially right, I was also Jane…I was both.

"But I need to know I can trust you… to know you are a woman of many masks- but you need to be able to discern between them, and know what is right."

I squinted, recalling a certain billionaire playboy making a similar remark…what a weird effing week. But I quickly shook it off. Batman was giving me a chance here…In spite of the fact I wasn't as forthright as I should be.

I nodded, not entirely as confident with my competency as he was. Could I betray the Joker? I wanted to quickly rebuff that and say that he would do the same to me- but I wasn't sure. Not after what had happened. I felt as if we were attached, bonded together through the fever of desire… The rare achievement when you actually and truly connect with another human being. Not two hours ago I was in his arms, his clutches. Now I was being asked to betray him.

I got the overwhelming feeling that Batman knew exactly what I was thinking- what I was mulling over. He was acute, sensitive to the sort of emotions that were surging through me. He understood with perfect clarity. He understood and knew a hell of a lot more than he let on. It was written on my face, and he read it loud and clear.

"I am giving you this chance, Jane." He informed me with perfect transparency.

"I understand." Yes, I'm now your personal informant- your personal information bank for everything Joker…your key to his downfall. In that moment, what choice did I have? I didn't know what I was capable of. I've recently learned and been smacked in the face by both Batman and Joker about my duplicitous nature. And both of them wanted to use it- for their own gains. "What do I have to do?"

"For now, you need to get well. I'm going to take you somewhere safe. Grab some of your things Jane. It's time to disappear."

…


	8. The Hearse Song

Chapter Eight: The Hearse Song

According to one of Janie's psych books, laughter is one of the least understood of human behaviors. Scientists have found that during a vigorous laugh, three parts of the brain light up: A thinking part that helps you get the joke, a movement area that tells your muscles to bounce around and burn calories, and finally there's the emotional region that elicits that giddy or lightheaded feeling. But it remains unknown why one person laughs at frat-boy party jokes while other minds chose to chuckle when a serial killer cuts a chick's skin off and wears it as a dress. Perhaps my laughter is a spirited response to incongruities — I laugh, at things that that disobey and violate conventional expectations. In the same paragraph- another 'scientist' points out that laughter is simply a way to signal to another person that their actions are meant in good fun. Well, that's certainly true. I do everything 'in fun.' It's the only way to live. Why else would you do anything? It makes no logical sense…

I got to thinking about this whilst I showered. Janie has a very nice shower. I was in it before, but I wasn't able to enjoy it. Her showerhead is one of those powerful ones that makes sure that all of her long hair gets silky clean. I made quite a mess of her shower-all kinds of colors are going down the drain. But let's be honest, she doesn't care. She's not even here. The cops already wrecked her place plenty. They tore it down piece by piece- looking for something to link her to me. Well they didn't find anything- I didn't have to do any digging to figure that out. Well, I think they may have found my green knife, it wasn't anywhere in the apartment. Either that or Janie must have it. Though, I don't remember her having it while I was inside her- she was pretty naked, she was downright, unreservedly naked in fact. It was time to turn off the shower…I shook myself like the wet dog I was.

But shaking didn't help; you can't shake something like that, what happened between us. My memories are fresh- they are visual, nearly tangible flashes that if I didn't know any better… I could reach out and touch them. Whenever these thoughts surfaced, I had this strong, visceral need to physically react. Being that she wasn't near, I could only envision her. I shut my eyes. But I did not see Janie. At least, I didn't see her in actuality. In this imagining- her hair was still long, but black. She wore a tight fitted dress and heavy layers of 1940's movie-magic makeup. It was more of a snapshot I saw- her lying there in my mind. A dark- no black dahlia! As soon as I accepted my vision; sharp, red cuts grew on both sides of her lips. Janie wasn't necessarily a 'smiling' kind of gal. She wore a frown, a striking yet dreadful frown. Yes, her smile had to be created- painted on. I could see her darkness with perfect clarity- everything became so clear. This was the real Janie- an ethereal and fantastic splendor. Every understanding I knew of her had surfaced- materialized in this 'Dahlia' manifestation.

In one momentous wave, I recalled every little movement, every little gesture and expression her face and body made. That's the problem see, I wasn't lying when I told her- I remember everything. There's no filter- I just take it in, I see it all.

This is why I'm so successful in my ventures. I don't miss anything I witness- just like I didn't miss that little smile of hers when Bats came bursting through the glass. I remember the look he gave her and his costumed arm wrapping around her-touching her as if she needed to be indulged and secured. That wasn't in his job description. She was turning him soft- she has a knack for that.

I slapped the shower curtain aside and stepped out on her rug. It was soft and gray, the kind of foamy one that absorbs all the water. I laughed and opened the cabinet she kept her towels in. As I pulled one out, something flew out and fell on the tile.

"Well hello there." I spoke aloud to my knife. The poor guy had been hiding all this time. I sat it on the counter and dried off the rest of the way. Her bathroom cabinets were all searched through- they'd even gone through her makeup. Not that Janie kept a lot around- it's just such an intrusion on their part- it's rude to rummage through a woman's things.

I opened her mirror-cabinet and looked around. I took about five or her ibuprofen- because that was all she had in there. I figured as much, she wasn't one for altering her mind…

I shook my head at the sight of her bedroom. It certainly wasn't what it was a few days ago. Her comforter and mattress were ripped apart- her yellow blanket was god-knows-where. The way they treated Janie's apartment I tell ya.

Harvey Bullock is now the Commissioner-du-jour. It's kind of ridiculous. I mean, Gordon only had a little flesh wound. Maybe the higher-ups felt he was slacking…no telling. It's too bad; I rather liked Gordon as the Commish-he was consistently consistent. Harvey is all brash action and no talk. He's not a reasonable man. I'm not either, but let's be honest- we all know I don't like copycats or imitators. His plan is to get Janie good and locked up at the station. He wants all of Gotham to know who she is. Then, he wants me to bite the hook to come and get her. I don't care so much for this Harvey Bullock. Janie is not their bait. She's not going to be used like that.

Thankfully, I have an ally in all of this. Bats apparently wasn't particularly fond of their little plan either. That's because he's smarter than all of them. Well, he's already tried that trick once with Gordon and the other Harvey- this is why he's stolen my little cherry and hidden her from the big, bad boys in blue. I know I sent her off with him, but there's just something about him whispering those so-called levelheaded things in her ear, she can't be corrupted like that, enough is enough. It's time to pick her up from her little play-date.

These past three days have been quiet. Nobody seems to have seen her. And there are a lot of people looking... I noticed some of Maroni's men scouting her apartment yesterday. They pretended to just be passing by when they noticed the police tape. I laughed at the thought of it. They could have just as easily waltzed up in here and looked around, if they just had the sense. Heck, I've been here for three days. But you can't give them much credit- they're the mob after all. They normally don't follow paths of logic.

I'd really brought this conundrum upon myself. I mean, she wanted to go but I did just let her. Bats wanted her for the same reason the police did-to get to me. He just wants to be smart about it, he knows better than execute repeat performances. Poor Janie, she doesn't know how to find me. She is probably a little annoyed by all of this. I laugh when I think about her eyes; they're glaring up at me as she hangs there like a Christmas ornament- _"I hate you,"_ she states, haha of course she does. But there's a fine line. I'll bet a kidney she sure misses me now. I laugh at the thought of it as I make myself a sandwich. I mean, her food is going to go bad if I don't eat it…

After I put my clothes on, I go downstairs to the mailboxes. I want to know what kind of mail she gets. I take her key and unlock it- ad, ad, catalog- I throw them all away for her. She doesn't care about that garbage… She did get something from Berkeley University …no idea what that's about. I tucked it in my jacket; I'd give it a look a little later.

-"Yeah, the cops have been in and out." A voice interposed itself into my realm. I slid into the mailroom and leaned against the wall as I listened.

"I only saw her, never talked to her… she sure as shit was hot." Another voice spoke. I guess they were doormen.

"Fucking weird though- worked at a slaughterhouse or something. She was kind of a freak if you ask me…"

I decided I was going to kill them. I pulled out my green knife, in her honor, and came up behind the first one.

"What the f…" His tacky profanity was cut off by my slitting his throat. He made a gargling sound then fell to the ground.

The other doorman held his hands up. "Look, I don't want any trouble."

"You know, you should really be more careful about idle gossip. You might hurt someone's feelings."

"What? I didn't mean anything; we weren't talking about you..."

"I know,"

"You do?" He nervously swallowed.

"You were talking about Janie."

"Janie? Who is…27th floor?"

"I don't take kindly to you calling her a freak, well, I don't take kindly to you acting like it's such a bad thing."

"It's not!" He quickly corrected. "Who doesn't want a freaky chick in the sack?"

"Now you're just being inappropriate…"

"Listen I…" I went ahead and stabbed him before he finished. I must've hit something, blood started to bubble out of his mouth like a mini-waterfall. I never understood why people speak of things they know nothing about… I mean, are their lives that uneventful? Probably…

I called the police on the front desk phone. I told them there were people waiting to be let in the complex, but the doormen were slacking. They'd be here in four minutes. At least it would throw them off for a little bit.

As much as I hankered for a Harvey Bullock shakedown, I needed to take care of that little mob problem first. I knew my Cherry, and as much as Bats wanted to hide her, she wouldn't stay put. Despite her denial, she wanted to get out- she wanted me to find her.

But I already stated the obvious enigma- I wasn't the only one looking for her. If I could find her, the other boys in the yard could. And I had the irksome feeling that they already had. See, Maroni's men didn't come by today on their little scouting trip. Either they'd got a lead, or they already got her. I needed to get one of those… a lead that is…and a Janie.

…

Thales was dead, so I had to find another cop to be my informant. There were plenty ripe for the plucking, but I chose Jenna Lerman. She was in her late thirties- early forties. Not bad for a haggard, crooked cop, at least she had kept in shape... She'd enjoyed a lucrative symbiotic relationship with the mob for years. I'd put her on the backburner in my mind. I always knew I could count on her for just the right task-

"Evening Ms...Oh excuse me- Officer Lerman, How's it going?" I got two of my guys to come with me to her home. Fortunately she came through the door with groceries. I bagged up what I wanted while the boys tied her up.

"What do you want?" Her thin smoker's lips pressed tightly together.

"The world on a blood-soaked spike," I chuckled as I mused through my plethora of thoughts. "But right now, information."

"I wouldn't tell you a thing. You're a psychopath."

"Whoa, no need for name calling! But if you insist, you might want to get it right." I pulled one of her dining chairs and sat in front of her. "See, contrary to popular belief -'psychopath' is merely a term, not a diagnosis." I laughed. "They don't just put me in Arkham and say, _well he's a psychopath, show him to his room._ It doesn't work like that. A doctor labors tirelessly to diagnose a patient. So, when you call me a psychopath you're really insulting them, and their entire profession."

"And I'm supposed to care about all of this because…?"

My, she was tetchy. "I'm getting to that don't be rude Lerman…in the… surplus of things they have tried to diagnose me with, one of them is called Anti-Social Personality Disorder. Do you know what that is?"

"It's the…it's the sickness serial killers have."

"Mm, some of them, yeah…but it's so much more than that… A very key component to it is lack of remorse…I don't feel bad about the things that I do."

She sighed, her demeanor quickly changing. This was incredibly easy…Plus, this was all fresh in my mind since I'd read that psych book earlier.

"For those suffering from Anti-social personality disorder- there is no gray area- two sides to every coin- black and white- order versus chaos. It's the same for people. They see people as they really are…good or bad- selfish or giving. Now, whether or not I really have ASPD is still up in the air…but for argument's sake- let's say I do have two of its criterions. It is all about choices Jenna. You know in movies they always threaten people's loved ones. But I'm not gonna do that with you. See, if I did that I would be overestimating your humanity…I would be overestimating you because you're one of the selfish ones, right Jenna? …right?" I clicked open my green knife. I missed the sound of it- it was my favorite.

"What is it you want to know?"

I laughed, so, so predictable... "Maroni, where is he…hanging out these days?"

"His club?" She shrugged coolly.

"Oh come now Officer, they want you to tell me. Maroni and I are due for a little chat,"

"They'll kill me,"

"Not if I kill you first."

"Alright," She snapped angrily, "In the narrows, there's an old warehouse."

She was lying, I was impatient. This wasn't a good combo. I growled and stabbed her in the leg. She screamed out in pain as she closed her eyes. "But I just told you,"

"You were lying."

"I don't know anything."

"You know, you're quite the masochist," I stared at the blood on my knife as I pulled it from her leg. "Lucky for you, it has recently been brought to my attention that I am a sadist. It's perfect really, for this juncture. You seem to enjoy pain and I…relish in inflicting it."

"I don't know where they are," Her voice was raised now. "They move from place to place."

"Well then why don't you find out?"

"I'm just a stoolpigeon. They don't give me that kind of information…"

"I know good and well you spent a few nights in Maroni's bed. Don't give me that."

"They're going to kill her you know," She spoke abruptly.

I lowered my brow.

"That girl you've been playing with. They found your weakness and now they're going to expose it." She dared herself to smile. "Before, you didn't have a weakness- there was nothing to hold over you…but now that they found her," She shrugged, "I'm sure you'll feel remorseful about that…"

I had kind of wanted to see where she was going with this but I didn't want to listen to her chatter anymore. I took one of my guy's guns and shot her in the head. Her brain- splatter on the wall resembled a Rorschach ink-blot. It seemed so appropriate- considering our conversations we'd just had. Too bad most people don't notice such poetry…

I threw the gun back to my guy as I walked out the door. Both of the men aptly followed.

"Boss what do we do now?" One of them asked. I didn't look back to see which one. I didn't feel like answering.

"Boss…?"

This is the problem with relationships, they get you all worked up. I sure wasn't going to let some thug or mobster be the end of her days. Jenna was right, I did like playing with Janie- far too much to let anybody else do it. But weakness? No, she wasn't a weakness. Her welfare was only temporarily a concern. Once she was actually with me, there would be no problem. Once I had her again, no one else would or could get a hold of her. Plus, there were things they didn't know about Janie- things she was capable of.

So the fates decided that I'd find Maroni on my own. Sure Lerman would have been a good informant, but she was too testy- not at all a pleasant person. She was a bad egg. I did the force and the mob a favor.

…

Turns out one of my guys used to work for Falcone before his stint in Arkham. It also turns out that the mob really is the cliché everyone thinks it is- and they do meet in a warehouse at times. But he said Maroni had changed the old practices. He bought out an old dance studio/gymnasium in the lower east side. He said that Sal told the public that it would be remodeled as a 'safe' haven for underprivileged youth- an after school program if you will… Yeah, and I'm going to volunteer to go read stories at the old folk's home…

It was going to be dark soon, which meant that sleet was beginning to fall on the ground. For some reason it reminded me of Eastern Europeans. They always seem to think they're still in their respective motherlands. What I mean is they never show that they're outwardly cold. It's as if it's some terrible flaw to be cold…I guess it's the fact that they all are born in the icy, desolate nothing. Their personalities are born to suit those barren lands. To their credit, Russia has never lost a land invasion- so…that's something. I then thought of the good old Chechens. It quickly occurred to me that they were now…technically my men. This was useful information to suddenly recall…thank you sleet.

…

I knew exactly where the Chechen's stayed. This made for a very effortless roundup. Their leader, because of our little chat in Janie's apt garage and a recent, but not as recent brutal dog attack, was quite compliant and acquiescent to meeting my needs. He set up everything as I requested, and gave me an excess of leathered lackeys.

The gymnasium slash dance studio was quite barren for the little children it was supposedly being built for. But there certainly were a lot of cars parked out back. It's nice to know I'm on the minds of so many- that so many people are thinking of me… even if it is to plan my demise.

I decided to go incognito. I wore an Eastern-European-I'm-not-cold puffy jacket sans my face. We all wrapped up with scarves to block the blustering wind.

I had the Chechen call ahead, saying he wanted to help 'get rid' of me. Maroni was all too happy to arrange a meeting. Though, mobsters will be mobsters. We still were greeted by several of his own leathered lackeys armed to the whatever…We were indistinguishable. Tomato-Tomato.

Alek, the Chechen's number 2 man put on his bravest face as he walked in. He gave a subtle glance back to me out of his peripherals. He was terribly shaky. I ignored him and looked around. There were three doors that I could see. They might have been keeping Janie behind one of them.

Maroni had a large table set up, ready and raring for business. He gave a condescending nod to Alek. "Where's your boss?"

"He's uh; having his stitches removed…he couldn't make it."

I tried really, really hard not to laugh.

"How am I supposed to take this seriously if he don't have the decency to show up himself?"

"He would be here if he could, I promise." There was a sort of, unspoken hierarchy when it came to organized crime in Gotham. A- Totem pole- biggest to smallest if you will. The Italians were definitely largest endeavor. I think the Chechen's only really evolved because of Crane's fear juice trade- anyway they continued their stare down for a few moments until Maroni gestured for Alek to sit down. The rest of us weren't high up enough for chairs.

"So, what do you know?" Maroni started.

"All I know is that," Alek spoke shakily. He was giving a terrible performance. Luckily Maroni mistook his fear of me for fear of him. "We have a common ground. Both of us want the Joker stopped."

Maroni leaned forward a bit. "I would think that was quite obvious…Otherwise, what are we doing here at this meeting?"

"Yes, I…" Alek spoke unsurely.

"Kid, all I want to know is how your boss is going to help us get the psychopath?"

Well, I guess I knew where Jenna got the term from- pillow talk and all.

"We uh, got a guy that used to work for him. We think he will talk."

Maroni was quiet for a moment then quickly shook his head. "You don't know the guy…he doesn't tell anyone else nothing…his guys don't know anything. No good, what else you got?"

"Uhhh," Alek shrugged.

"Alright," Maroni held up his hand. "Shut up and listen. I'll tell you what we're gonna do…"

_Finally!_ I was getting rather impatient…

"Lately, he's been running around with this girl this, college-student-butcher…whatever she's a freak."

I love how uninventive people are with their adjectives…

"She's different. He's never had a girl before…she knows things. Anyway, we go get her again, and lure him in…but we need your help cause there's also the issue of…"

"Wait a minute," Alek interjected. "You mean you don't have her?"

Maroni lowered his brow. "How'd you even know about the girl?"

Good grief Charlie Brown, Alek was botching this up. I tried to refrain from shooting Alek. I reminded myself that the character I was playing wouldn't do that.

"I, I haven't. I mean, I did but I just didn't know…" Alek quickly halted his speech. "I'm sorry sir; I'm just really terrified right now."

And he wasn't lying. Alek was shaking, visibly.

"Calm down kid, just do your job."

Alek nodded slowly. "What do we have to do?"

"Like I said, we go get the girl. The cops had the same idea, but she up and disappeared, gave the police, all of her friends and family…everyone the slip. But _we_ found her. I got a guy that's going to go…"

My ears and mind drifted away from their conversation. Where oh where could my Janie girl be? I don't know whether to be impressed or angry. I mean Maroni was right- she disappeared from everyone. I guess I felt a little bit of both…I knew she wasn't stupid enough to go to the university. She wouldn't visit any friends…well, if she had any. Drugged-up hypothermia Janie had said that her only friend was her professor…wundebar!

Now it was my turn to interject. I needed to create a distraction- to throw them off a bit because I needed to get to her first. I pulled my gun out and fired into the air. Gotta love automatic weapons! Everything almost immediately turned to pandemonium. Maroni's eyes immediately shot up towards me.

"You!" He shouted.

I flashed him a quick smile. More shots fired and he cowered under the table. Everybody started shooting everybody; bullets were flying copiously without regard. I would've laughed if I weren't so perturbed by the whole situation- what an inconvenience. I didn't want to see any of these people unless I had to… Jeez Janie. I ducked and swerved through the turmoil, quickly made my exit stage left…

The door lead me to an outer hallway- no matter, I would find an outside door soon enough. I couldn't believe she wasn't there- I was just sure of it. I wonder if Bats knew anything about this…

Speak of the mischievous Chiropteran - on cue- he crashed through a window beside me. I held my hand up to deflect the flying glass, but I wasted no time. Before he had a chance to recover, I attacked him.

I had a lot of wrath pent up, I had just wasted a perfectly executed rescue mission- and she wasn't even there. That's women for you- But most likely- it was all this guy's fault. I got a few pretty good blows in before he was able to react. I'd got him on the floor and pulled out a little knife. I stabbed his arm. I got him a little, but his armor mostly deflected the jab. He knocked the knife out of my hand and pushed me backwards into the broken glass. I chuckled a little…what an impromptu reunion. It had been awhile since it was just the two of us. But I only had one question on my mind.

"Don't take this the wrong way I'm thrilled you stopped by, but what are you doing here?"

"Where is she?" He asked not a moment after I'd asked my question.

I pursed my lips. This was certainly perplexing. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"Where is Jane? I know you have her."

I usually love it when things like this happen- without these little plot twists- life would be so exceptionally boring. But I couldn't make myself chuckle- I was ambivalent at best.

"So she gave us both the slip. Devious one …is she not? But it's really none of _your _business. I mean, you shouldn't meddle in the affairs of Janie and I's relationship…" I tried my best to be friendly about the whole thing. But as usual, Bats failed to see the wit. He took my collar and pinned me up against the wall.

"You're hiding her," He growled.

"Me? You're the one flying through the sky and swooping her up bird to worm."

"You don't have her then." That raspy voice, I couldn't tell if he was asking or declaring…

"Let's not get redundant…" I kneed him then kicked him to the ground. I peered down at him as I straightened my collar. "Anyways, I'll repeat- what are you even doing here?" I asked, knowing he wouldn't answer. "You weren't invited to this shindig."

"You're coming with me; I'm taking you back to Arkham." He spoke as he started to get up. But I didn't let him; my territorial virile senses were kicking in. I could feel the testosterone running through my veins. I needed to blow off some steam…and by 'blow' I mean deliver a swift kick to his face.

"Not right now Batsy. I just got out of there…maybe later; I'll give you the grand tour- you've got to meet the lunch lady Georgia. She makes the worst Cordon Bleu."

He reacted plenty. Bats curled his arm up to shoot some of those little do-dads at me. But like I said earlier- I'm not a fan of repeat performances…fool me once…or something like that. I ducked and they landed on the wall behind me.

"Tsk-tsk, let's bring more to the table Batman!"I promptly lunged for his torso. It was rather effective. I could hear the glass breaking- stabbing into his back. We were literally at arms now! Haha- mine pushing his- his pushing mine. Our muscles were shaking, aptly challenging the others. But alas, we could not fight like this all day, something had to give. Luckily, two of my guys emerged at the end of the hallway. They shot a couple of bullets in Bat's direction. I took this opportunity to release my hold and be on my way. Predictably, my Batman called out after me.

"Joker!" He spoke as he fought off my men.

"Don't worry! I know where she is, I'll go get her." I assured him with a wink then aptly walked off.

…

I put my face back on in the van while my men drove me to Teacher's neighborhood. There driving was a little jerky which caused it to smear… but I'm not trying out for a pageant any time soon…besides, beauty truly lies in imperfection. I was getting all kinds of animated…I think it was Nietzsche that said "The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." I think he's right…that's all I ever want- danger and play.

The neighborhood was naturally on the opposite end of town, near but right outside the palisades. Believe it or not, I had a little trouble getting into his front door. Contrary to popular belief it's older locks that give the modern bandito all the grief. Sure, copies of the keys can be made but who has the time for that? But that was the first clue she was there- these neighborhoods all have high, high security. It's when you leave your gated communities in Gotham that you get all the trouble. People in these types of places rarely bother to lock their doors.

My men parked a few houses down. I took one last glance out into the street before going in; I just had this strange inkling…

Now, if I were to guess what an Anthropology Professor's home would look like- this would be it. He had various statues and figurines…paintings and etchings. His house was a miniature museum.

I saw the good old Professor first; he was sleeping by the fire, in his leather chair. Lucky for him-he was alone. I honestly don't know what I would've done if he was with her- even in the same room. I can't be held responsible for my need to claim proprietorship over her; it's been a long day.

But his relationship with Janie was a peculiar one, to say the least. I suddenly found myself at an impasse: kill the teacher or find the girl. Ultimately, I decided on the latter- after all, I needed to make sure she was actually here before I went completely on the aggressive.

The hallway had three doors, only one of which was shut. That's the one I chose first.

_What light through yonder window breaks_? Well none, it was pitch dark. Luckily, the light from the hallway bled in a little. And alas, there was a Janie girl- sleeping as sound as could be. I chuckled, after all that ruckus and hustle-bustle she was sleeping- without a care- completely oblivious to all the fuss that was being made about her.

I went over to the bed to watch her for a moment…obviously in the deeper part of her sleep cycle for you could barely hear her breathing. I played with her hair a bit. Janie is the heaviest sleeper I know…it takes a bit to wake her up. When she was at my place the other day, I carried on a full conversation with her…in the normal decibel level of my voice without her once waking up. She was such a fragile thing yet, so terribly formidable. Duality bathes in perfect symmetry…

"Janie," I whispered now, shaking her shoulder a bit.

"Mmm," Her slumbering-self protested.

"Get up Janie." I shook her again…this wasn't working…

"_Do you ever think, as the hearse goes by_

_That you may be the next to die?_

_They wrap you up in a long white sheet_

_From your head down to your feet_

_They put you in a big black box_

_And cover you over with dirt and rocks_

_And all goes well for about a week_

_And then the coffin begins to leak_

_The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out_

_The worms play pinochle on your snout…_

_They eat your eyes they…"_

"Okay, I don't know who the hell sang you nursery rhymes as a child, but if anything that's going to do the opposite of lulling someone to sleep…"

I grinned as I slide into the bed next to her. "Well that's just fine doll cause, we need to go soon."

"Wait, where's Professor Grant?" She sprung up in a startle.

"Shh shh shh…" I pulled her back down to where we lay facing each other. "Last I saw, sleeping in his chair. I'll have to admit it's kind of exciting…brings you back to younger days. Like, I'm sneaking into my girl's house; we try not to wake the parents while we do unmentionable things to each other's bodies…" I pulled her to me. As perturbed as I was, I couldn't help myself as I rolled on top of her.

"Mmh," She moaned, shifting nervously underneath my touch- of which the more I felt around it was starting to get slightly confusing…

"Why are you all dressed?" I asked, a little disappointed as I felt around. Places that should usually be easy access in the bed weren't so…

"I wanted to be prepared." She pulled herself out from under me, turning her head.

"For battle?" I mused playfully.

"So to speak."

"And just who do we think we will be battling?" I took her chin and guided her stare back towards mine.

"I knew that you would find me," She spoke plainly.

"Of course you did, and I know that you knew I would find you…were you all dressed up in preparation for me?"

"Amongst other things…"

I liked this kind of Janie, she was adorable, albeit a little too susceptible. She must not be fully awake yet…

"So, did you miss me?"

"I, I don't know." She shrugged, her eyes trying to avert mine."

"You missed me, of course you did…"

She grinned, letting out an exhale of a laugh.

"Come here," I put my hand on her face and kissed her. Her lips were warm, she was warm…of course-she wasn't the one running around Gotham looking for her. She had an apology to make. But at the moment, we were busy kissing. She could do that later…

_Click Click_, _Boom. _I know that sound. That's the sound of a double barrel shotgun going off. The light to the bedroom was quickly flipped on.

Janie shot up and looked towards the doorway.

"Wait, it's not what it looks like." I chuckled through my speech.

"Get the hell out of my house." He spoke as he reloaded.

I sighed and pulled out my knife. I'd say I hate to keep using her as a shield, but I don't. It's really kind of fun- and convenient.

"You're going to let go of her son." Her Professor spoke in a Southern-drawled voice. He eyed me like an angry father who'd just caught me fornicatin' with his onlyest daughter.

"Uh, no I'm not."

"Joker, let me go."

"Oh Janie, you don't know how much I've missed your relentless demands." I smoothed back her hair with my free hand.

"I got a clear shot Archer,"

"You can't shoot him." She quickly came to my defense…

"Awwwww," I grinned as I smashed my cheek to hers. I curved my lips and kissed it. "You heard the lady." I shrugged. I'm not going to lie; I was swelling with superciliousness, pride…all over.

"Like hell I can't! Kid, you're not in the right mindset, you…"

"I didn't mean it like that." She quickly corrected. "I mean this isn't the Deep South; you just can't go shooting people, regardless of who they are. You'll go to jail." Her and her half-truths...

"Oh come now Janie," I playfully scolded, "Don't listen to her Kingsley," I started. "You and I both know that's the only way she's going to stay here with you."

"Fair enough…" He cocked his gun. I laughed, I mean- you have to admire his cojones.

"No don't!" She asserted, fretfully clenching the back of my coat. I shivered in pure delight. "Dr. Grant, you can't…"

"Jane, listen…" Before he could assert his pseudo-paternal role, he was bashed on the head. Janie let out a little yelp, clenching tighter around me.

I knew someone was following me! I've got to hand it to him; Zsasz had a knack for impromptu appearances. But that's not necessarily a good thing. He's more like one of those annoying flash mobs. You think they're interesting at first…but really you just wish the idiots would stop dancing to those stupid pop songs so you could slip by them to get on the subway…

The hall light revealed a slimy smile spread across his face. I sighed, "Hold on Cherry." I got up and approached him. Jane followed but went directly to her Professor. He had been hit pretty hard. Blood was oozing from his head somewhere.

"I didn't know you made house calls for the mob as well as run errands."

"I go where I'm needed." He shrugged. "I was going to just take her but now- unfortunately my employer wants me to bring you and the girl alive. I don't get my time to play with her yet."

I'm not much for metaphysical showdowns with adversaries unless it's with the Bat…that's mostly because as a bulk people are completely unoriginal. Zsasz was rather amusing with his whole tally mark motif but other than that he was an utter bore. He looked a little different now- wearing my insignia-smiley cut right under his eye. And just like last time all he did was try to push my buttons- but in an awfully uncreative way. There was however a solution; I had made myself a promise, a promise to kill him the next time I saw him. The most pleasurable way would be to grab that giant shotgun Kingsley had and blow a hole through his stomach. I kicked around to feel for it with my foot but I couldn't find it. I looked down.

Janie had the gun in her hands as she stood up next to me. "Alright it's time for you to get the fuck out." She pointed the gun towards him.

"Careful now," He started. "You even know how to use that thing?"

Janie smirked then rested it right next to her shoulder blade. Well, there was his answer. I was thoroughly impressed, and thoroughly aroused.

But Zsasz wasn't a regular victim. Instead of stammering and holding his hands in the air, he merely stood there, grinning. "Tell me," He started. "You ever took a life? Do you think you're capable of it?"

Janie was silent.

"There's no changing your mind once you do it you know. There are certain people that are capable and others that are not. You might be attracted to the obscurity, the darkness… but you're not part of it. I just don't think you have what it takes to pull the trigger. I'll tell you one thing though- you better have the guts little red, because if you don't, I'm going to carve you up."

I didn't like that he gave her a nickname- that was my thing. Also, I wanted to intervene, to quit all this nonsense…this is not where her attention needed to be focused. But my curiosity far outweighed my ego…It was time for me to put my theories about her to test. I wanted to see if she'd actually do it.

After a few moments, Zsasz smiled. "Just another zombie- constricted by society's…" Janie interrupted his soliloquy by smacking him across the face with the back of the gun. He fell to the ground. But he quickly smiled, then looked up to her.

"I said get out."

I giggled in excitement. But enough was enough, it was time to say goodbye to Zsasz. "Okay, just kill him Janie,"I sighed.

She pointed the gun down towards him, her aim was perfectly steady, but her eyes were lowered, nervous…

"Janie…." I started.

"She can't, Joker. She's not like us. She might have had to potential to be, I saw a spark of it the other day in her eyes…" He spoke while wiping blood from his mouth. "But you blew it clown- you let _him_ take her; you let him insert his misplaced philosophies in her mind. He's already too deep in her head." Zsasz sang then looked over to her. "Isn't that right?"

I didn't like what he was implying. "Go on Janie just shoot him!" I looked over to her; she took an unsteady breath as she swallowed.

This wasn't right, he couldn't be right. "Shoot him, Janie." I spoke louder now, I was boiling over, losing my patience. There was no way that Zsasz was right.

"No matter," Zsasz put his arms behind his head and relaxed back on the floor.

"SHOOT HIM!"

She jumped a little but re-aimed the gun. That instantly made me feel better. She would do it… I grinned and looked to Zsasz.

"Alright doll," I put my hands on her shoulders and stood behind her. "Just pull the…" Before I could finish I was yanked to the ground. Janie fell along with me, causing the gun to go off. I scrambled a bit and looked around. Zsasz had been nicked by the shot…but not enough. He stumbled backwards but shot himself up and quickly disappeared towards the front of the house. I turned around to find that good Ol' Professor Grant had a hold of my pant leg. I gave him a disapproving head shake. "Just like a father- just doesn't want to let her grow up."

He lifted himself up and went next to Janie. He grabbed his shotgun pulled two shells out of his pocket. Surprisingly, he tossed it to me. "If you want it done, go kill that son-of-a-bitch yourself! Be a man! Don't make her do it. But I want you gone, you're going to stop coming around and messing with her. Do you hear me?" He blatantly stated.

Something about his arduous words just irked me- rubbed me the wrong way. He somehow became painfully familiar. I felt the thick gun in my hands- I had half a mind to use it on him.

"No," Janie stood up and looked me square in the eye, I matched her stare. She shook her head, as if she knew what I was thinking…who am I kidding- she did know.

"Don't," She shook her head some more, pleading with me.

I stared right back at her; she needed to make a choice, and she knew it.

"Okay, let's go." She spoke decidedly, making sure she was directly in between me and her Professor.

Call me a petty, primal chap- whatever you will….but I enjoy even the smallest of victories- the tiniest of triumphs. Sure, sure- she didn't want me blowing a hole in her substitute daddy, but she wanted to go with me.

"Jane, you're not going with him."

She quickly turned around towards him. "Yes, I am." She nodded while speaking. "Dr. Grant, I'm so sorry…"

"Kid, don't…"

She quickly turned around and grabbed my hand. I took one glance back at the good doctor and shrugged before I led us out the front door.

…

My men were standing outside by where I'd parked. As soon as they saw me, they ran up.

"Boss! We heard a gunshot!"

"You don't say?"

"And, this guy…he went running off that way- all bloody!" He gave Janie a quick once-over, confused by her presence. He looked back to me. His partner-in-cluelessness ran up quickly behind him.

"Keys…" I held out my free hand.

"What?" The first one asked.

I cocked the gun and shot him. Boy, was it powerful when wielded properly! The second one started begging, stammering, but only for a second because I hit him over the head before tossing the gun to the ground.

"Could you…fucking stop!" Janie yelled. "Do you think you could not kill every single person you come across?"

"Uh, yeah I think so… Did you manage to kill one single person?" I snapped back. "No you didn't! And it's not like it would have been that hard- Zsasz isn't exactly a saint. He would love nothing more than to cut you up in little slices. But me, I didn't kill your dear old Professor, even though he was asking for it… "

Janie took a breath then pushed me back into the side of the van. I quickly recovered and went towards her but she punched me in the face. I chuckled and relaxed my hands on my thighs as I leaned over. I grabbed my chin and rocked it back to its correct alignment. "Might I point out that out of two of us- you're the one who always incites the violence in this relationship. Maybe you're a little bit of a sadist as well, hmm?"

"No," She walked next to me and leaned on the van as well. "I don't like you threatening people I care about."

"I don't like that you care about other people." I told her plainly.

Who else did she care about? Who was she talking about besides her professor? She was making me angry. It's like, all of the sudden she's little Miss Popular and everyone is her friend…I was mad at her, that's why I didn't tell her that most likely some mobsters would be here soon- that they may or may not use her professor as bait to get her… to get me. I was really doing her a favor- she shouldn't have to worry about that old man.

She rested her head on my shoulder. "You're so fucking possessive."

"You sure say 'fuck' a lot when you're angry."

"Well f…" I shushed her as I put my arm around her. She was cold already-her Gotham University sweatshirt was not conducive to freezing conditions. "Come here," I pulled her to me. I know I know…everyone would most likely tell me '_Get out of there! Get out of that relationship Joker! Escape while you can you're too good for her! She's physically; mentally/emotionally abusive…she's no good!_ Call me a beaten down housewife- I keep crawling back. But she was so soft, so fun to play with… maybe I'm a bit of a masochist too. Maybe I was both- maybe we're all a little bit of both.

…

Janie was much better company than my men. I found her much more pleasant to look at and converse with…and boy did we have some conversing to do.

"Back there, you were afraid that Kingsley was going to shoot me. You clutched, nervously the back of my jacket." I looked over, judging her reaction.

"I didn't want you to die," She shrugged, her voice monotone.

"Well isn't that nice."

"I suppose it is nice for you…and I have no reason to feel that way, but I do…Joker," She muttered, eyes closed. "If … fuck what is wrong with me…?" She brought her knees up to her chest and buried her head.

"Say what you're trying to say, don't beat around the bush Janie, we're way past that."

She shook her head. "I'm not going to be able to go back now...I mean… I chose you…" She was telling both me and herself. She also was saying that her fate was now in my hands. Poor thing, how unfortunate for her…how fortunate for me.

"That's what I was counting on." I spoke, not sure if I should have told her that, but I did anyway.

Janie looked over to me slowly nodding. "I know,"

…

I didn't blindfold her, I didn't see the point. She was acting like this was her funeral march, but she wasn't going to tell anybody. We parked a few paces away from my building as I grabbed all my newly acquired groceries- and people say that Gotham PD is useless!

This was my third nicest apartment. I was still a little leery of showing her my favorite. She was and is unpredictable. So am I…but they're my apartments. If possible, I'd like to dispose of them at my leisure…

Janie looked around, her face deadpan as she walked in.

I'm not accustomed to this aspect of a relationship. I'll be honest when I say at that moment- I wasn't sure if I'd made a mistake or not- I suddenly had to ask myself if I'd even wanted her to stay if she was going to act so passive…I mean, I didn't like it but I didn't dislike it either. I guess that's a relationship for ya…So I just waited, waited to see what she would do…

Janie grabbed a hold of her sweatshirt and pulled it over her head. She took her flats/slippers and slipped them off her feet. Her jeans- she unbuttoned and unzipped them. Janie was in her bra and underwear, record time. She ignored me and walked to my bathtub, which was in the same room (the entire apartment is the same room) and turned the water on.

Janie stepped into the tub and sat herself down. As the water rose, she fell deeper into it until I couldn't see her anymore from where I was standing.

I went over and looked down in the water she'd submersed herself in. Her eyes were closed, but I guess my shadow alerted her of my presence. She brought herself up and hugged the side of the tub, splashing water over to the floor. I turned off the water and sat on the ground.

"You still have your bra and underwear on."

"Do I?" She sat up a bit and looked down. But she quickly shrugged and returned to her leaning position. Her body was wet, and shiny. Her skin was beautiful, enticing… not that she's exceptional in that; most women's skin is like that...but that doesn't make it any less appealing.

I stared at each, delicate finger. I took my fingernail and scraped the little bit of red polish that was left on her thumbnail. "You've seemed to have made yourself right at home."

"I'm complacent with you because I have to be. What other choice do I have?"

"Really Janie? That's how you're going to be? Say such hurtful things?"

"Yes, and despite my complacency, I'm going to be obstinate, difficult, and on guard. Because, realistically what else should I do? This is all your fault."

"All my fault?"

"Mostly, yes..." She slid herself back into the water. "I'm hungry."

"I'm hungry too."

"How do you manage that, I mean- aside from stealing my groceries?"

"I manage just fine, people are quite benevolent."

"No they're not."

"That's the spirit! But you're right, they're not…But don't worry about me Janie, I make do."

"I wasn't worried, I was curious."

"I know,"

"Do you have a towel?" She didn't move when she asked, but her eyes shifted towards me.

"I found my knife in your towels today."

"You were in my apartment?"

"I housesat for you while you were away. By the way, where were you? Where did Batman take you? I know you were somewhere other than your Professors for the past few days…" I needed to know where she was…also, I didn't have any towels.

"You said you had taken some of my things? My clothes?"

"Clothes are such a formality; you don't need to wear any clothes around me doll."

She may have grinned a little, but she quickly covered it up by going back under the water. I shrugged and decided that I'd join her. I pulled off my shoes and jacket then jumped in. She sat herself up to make room for me. For about a minute, we stared at each other- face to face without a word.

"So, what do we do...?" She shrugged a little.

Why would I know? It's not like this was meticulously planned…I'd only brought her...I also figured we'd be having sex by now.

"I guess I mean, now that I'm here, I don't know how to act around you. We're not fighting, running, or having violent sex…"

"We could be …"

"What I'm saying is- I'm pretty sure you don't live in this realm of existence typically. You're not one for downtime."

"Are you saying I'm not capable of it?"

"I don't know. What I do know is I don't want you to up and kill me out of boredom."

I grinned at her- so honest, but she was making a valid point. How did I feel about her when I wasn't trying to fuck her, kidnap her, or convince her to do something? I pressed my tongue to the side of my cheek as I thought about it…

"I don't feel like killing you right now." I decided, aloud.

Janie laughed. It was agreeable; I hadn't heard her laugh in a long time, let alone see her genuinely smile. You could see almost all of her pretty teeth. But as much as I enjoyed it, I didn't like her being _that _comfortable…she didn't deserve it. I didn't feel like killing her but she wasn't telling me things, things that had happened. It was then I started to notice all the bruising on her body, bruising I hadn't noticed a few days before.

"You're going to tell me, what happened after Bats took you…"

Her smile faded as she looked up to me. She let out a very visible sigh. "Well, he took me to an apartment."

The thought of them being alone wasn't something I'd taken into account when I handed her over. But I certainly thought of it the second he took off with her.

"He said I needed to stay there, until he figured out how we were going to catch you."

People these days have no boundaries…is nothing sacred? Well, no- nothing is…but the nerve him trying to plot her against me…then again I knew he would try to do that.

"Well, I stayed for a night…but then I just," She shook her head, her eyes were far off- she was remembering. "I found that being alone with my thoughts was a hard thing to do. So I thought I'd try to go to work…to DeLuca's…I'd work in the back…just for a while. They were the only ones that hadn't figured out yet all the stuff that had happened. I just wanted some normalcy."

I suddenly flashed back to something Maroni said…he said something about getting Janie, but he said get her _again. _

"Maroni got a hold of you,"

Janie nodded.

"What all did they do to you?" I leaned forward and started examining her, noticing a few newish abrasions. Though it was hard to discern where they all came from, they could have very well came from our night together. I pushed her hair back and looked around. "And which of them did what?"

She shrugged", allowing me to touch her. "They really just threw me around a bit. Other than that," She shook her head. "I think…I think almost they were afraid to hurt me." She concluded. "I suppose I have you to thank for that." She spoke softly, almost muttering.

I grinned a bit, she should know better than to stroke me ego... "How did you get away?"

Janie swallowed. "Batman saved me."

I didn't know how much I liked that. I had allowed him to be her hero twice now.

"I'd…" She shook her head. "I just didn't want him to worry about me anymore. I didn't deserve his protection…so I left again; I went to Dr. Grant's but…but I shouldn't have…I don't deserve his help either."

"It's not that you don't deserve it, it's just that you don't want it."

"That's… not true,"

"You know, in this aspect you've been one of my greatest challenges Janie- you just never quite seem to want to…fully commit…or admit to anything do you?"

"I'm tired."

"A minute ago you were hungry."

"I'm both," She shook her head. "But mainly I'm sick of hiding. I'm sick of looking over my shoulder."

"Then don't." I grabbed her legs and pulled her to me. She slid forward and wrapped her legs around my lap. She shifted nervously.

"Stop that, you know you want me to touch you, and I certainly want to touch you…It's a win-win Janie."

She laughed again, I could get used to this…

"You're right I…I'm losing it." She smiled.

"You've just got cabin fever," I shook her gently, holding onto her hips. "We should go out."

"Out?" She spoke cynically.

"Yes, the opposite of in."

"How do you go out? Where…where do you go?"

I moved my legs around and stood up in the water. I stripped off my wet layers. "Let's change clothes then we'll leave." I informed as I stepped out of the tub.

"What, where?"

I held my hand out to help her up. She pursed her lips and accepted my help.

"It's a surprise."

"As long as I don't have to be blindfolded…"

I laughed…now she was giving me ideas.

…

So, new fact- Janie is petrified of heights…well, inside a building is fine. But outside she's a shaking bag of nerves. She followed me closely, clinging to my coattail as we climbed up the fire escape ladders onto the roof.

"What building is this?"

"Shh! Jeez Janie, whisper…"

-"Hey, what the…" A guard opened the door and shined his flashlight towards me. I blinked several times before grabbing it and bashing him on the head.

"Stop it!" Janie took the flashlight from me and threw it.

"Come now, you really don't care,"

"Y, Yes I do."

I laughed and grabbed her hand.

"Come on, If I didn't do it, we were going to be late."

She looked at me wearily, but followed me quickly into the building.

We were immediately flooded with the sound of piano. In fact, it was the only sound. I turned back to Janie and held my finger to my lips, but it was unnecessary. She didn't need to be hushed. Her entire demeanor had changed. She looked back to me. Her face was set in utter disbelief. As if, I weren't capable of culture. It's all about these moments, the utter surprise you can elicit from a person. Just because I enjoy slicing people up doesn't mean I can't also enjoy other fine arts…

There was a spiral staircase next to where we were standing backstage. I gestured for her to go first as I followed behind. It went up almost seven stories. The Gotham MET is pretty impressive. It's housed many famous artists throughout the years... I met up with a light tech that just walked in front of me out of nowhere- sandwich in hand… but I killed him before he, or Janie could even notice it. She was quite a bit ahead of me so I quickly pushed him aside on the metal part of the rafters…away from our pathway. She turned back to see what the ruckus was but I just shrugged so she turned back around. She'd unavoidably see him on our way out…but that was later.

Janie stared down at the stage. It was really far down but it was a clear view. It was late, so they were just rehearsing. It was strange, such a big place being so empty. I think that's why I liked it so much- it was all mine. That's exactly why I wanted to bring her here, so I could say the same about her…

There was just the piano player and the ballerina on stage. He played his music attentively as she pirouetted along with the soft melody effortlessly- as they seem to do. Janie watched with great interest.

I walked next to Janie and glowered. Women are strange creatures, I mean- sure, men can feel a certain way by art. They can be moved by it…but not like a woman can. It's as if it reaches somewhere deep into their psyche and tugs on whatever deep seated sadness or happiness they have buried…whichever is more prevalent.

"The last time I was here, I was with my father." She spoke suddenly, all the while still staring down at the stage.

(See what I mean)

"And now I'm here with a homicidal super-criminal…who paints his face like and clown and likes to fuck me."

I snorted. She always knew just what to say.

She looked over to me "Are you trying to impress me?"

"Not really. I'm just taking you to a place I like to go. I like to go lots of places in Gotham." I guess that was a lie…a man, who is honest with himself- does most things in efforts to impress a woman while courting.

She laughed a bit, then sat down on the rafters and hung her legs over the edge. I sat down and did the same. "What ballet is this?" She muttered.

"Giselle. It's about a dead lady that protects her lover from evil girl spirits."

"How lovely."

"It is Janie…protecting your love even from the grave- now that's monogamy!"

"How do you know so much about ballet?"

"I know a lot about everything."

"I don't doubting you intellect. I guess I just want to know the lesson."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're always trying to prove something to me, or make me see things a certain way."

"Do I always have to have an agenda?"

"Yes," Her voice was low and flirtatious. I liked it.

She smiled, and then suddenly stood up.

"Where are you going Cherry?"

"I wasn't lying when I said I was hungry…I'm going to their dressing rooms to see if I can find some food. I'll be right back."

I felt so proud- an aspect (albeit small) but an aspect nonetheless of my criminal mindset was rubbing off on her.

She turned to walk off, but swung back around quickly. She knelt back down next to me.

"Okay," She nodded.

"Okay what, Janie?"

She rested her hand on my neck, but only for a moment…almost immediately after she leaned in to kiss me. This kiss was different, her lips were different. She was deliberate, and hard…like the other night. But she wasn't apprehensive like she was before, not one bit. I really liked that. I reciprocated, like usual…what a sap I am!

When we released, she smiled at me…an excitement was being born in her eyes. She knew that I'd recognized it, so she bashfully smoothed her hair back and stood up as she licked her lips.

"Okay, fuck." She shrugged and threw out her arms.

I chuckled…so, so silly.

She turned around and walked towards the stairs, soon disappearing down the twisted, spiraling metal.

…

It took me a few minutes to realize it could have been an act, then a few minutes more to realize she'd been gone too long. The dressing rooms were right through the back of the auditorium. With no one there it would take five minutes tops... I sighed as I got up to go after her.

I walked through the backstage area after I got to ground level. The black curtain was great cover as I slipped through the shadows. Had she really just pulled a fast one? I was once again struck with ambivalence towards her…I guess I just had to accept that this was the nature of our relationship.

The whole auditorium was dark, the light only barely illuminating it. I'd almost made it to the corridors when I heard it- a voice.

"Enjoying the show?"

I squinted my eyes and looked to my left out into the rows and rows of seats. He was sitting on the very back row, about four seats in.

"I've always liked ballet…the freest form of artistic expression."

I didn't know who he was, but he knew something I didn't and I wanted to kill him. People didn't catch me off guard- it didn't work that way.

"Ballet is a dance executed by the human soul." I spoke as I walked to the chair next to him. "Dance and I have that in common…executing souls and all."

"Alexander Pushkin, to think –a homicidal-clown, who is also an intellectual." He smiled as he looked towards me- revealing several blackened teeth. He was a pudgy fellow…not much to look at- but something about his eyes though- I could always recognize that glint…that faint yet prevailing homicidal glint.

"I don't believe we've met, Oswald Cobblepot." He extended his hand. I stared at.

"No, I suppose you wouldn't be apt to such formalities…being you're not even in control of most of your actions…" He started as he rose.

I couldn't help but wondering…was there a point to me not killing him yet?

"I have a business proposition for you clown." He took a cigar and lit it while he held it in his teeth. "You and I have common interests."

I laughed. "Who are you?"

"What's important is what I am to you…and that depends, on whether or not you do what I need you to do."

Now, I really didn't like him. I pulled out my knife. "You know, the last guy that threatened me was my father, and it didn't turn out very well for him." I shrugged. "Besides Wobbles, I don't play well with others."

This Oswald fellow pursed his lips, seemingly unfazed by the knife dangling eagerly over his face. "You seem to play well with the little red-head." He smiled a blackened smile. He gestured for me to turn around. When I did, I rolled my eyes.

"You again?" I spoke; I was reeeeaaaallly tired of seeing his smarmy face in Janie's presence. He was holding her-once again with a knife to her neck. I was about to swing Wobbles around but he was a hefty one- I decided I'd move myself behind him-makes easier access with the knife anyhow.

"You thought I was actually just a runner for the mob?" He smirked, seething unmerited cockiness,

"Um, yeah, I don't have the highest of opinion of you Zsasz."

He smile quickly frowned. "Well," He swallowed. "You'll feel quite differently once I slice up your little…"

"Not just yet, Victor." The portly penguin man interjected. "The Joker and I were just working out a deal…weren't we?"

I could tell he was asking me, but I wasn't going to answer him. I've already said, I'm not the victim in these kinds of situations… It simply doesn't work that way. I do tire of having to go through this over and over…people just don't get it. I'm not a bargainer. I don't make deals…And neither would Janie. At least, she wasn't going to anymore. I locked eyes with her. As usual she had that glare of annoyance and anger. There wasn't much that scared that kid…really messed up childhood I suppose. But that's alright, it builds character.

I grinned at her, and to my sheer enchantment she grinned back. I reached in my pocket and threw my, her…our green knife towards her. She quickly ducked out of Zsasz' grasp and caught it.

See, there were things they didn't know about Janie- things she was capable of.


	9. The Blood of Reptile

***Some Songs **_**(for his/her pleasure- these will maximize the size of your pleasure and chapter reading experience )-**_** "Me, I'm Not" and " Reptile**_**" **_**By NIN, "Lullaby" by a Perfect Circle, "Fight Them Soft" by Soley, and "I Can't Hear You" by The Dead Weather**

**Sorry for the looooong arse delay. I PROMISE to update sooner. I'm graduating (woot woot) so I will have infinitely more time. I love you all so very much!**

**Chapter Nine- The Blood of Reptile**

When I was 6 years old, I got pneumonia. Unfortunately, being sick was something I was used to. I had all the disadvantages that came along with being a tiny, pale, and feeble ginger kid. I was the girl with seasonal allergies, a proneness to sunburns, and any and every virus that was 'going around.' My father was used to getting calls from the school- telling him to pick up his ailing youngster.

But this particular time was different. I had been up coughing all night and Dad had had just about enough of it I suppose. I supposed so because he came in my room and told me to get dressed.

"No more coughing, we're going to end that tonight." He informed me as he went to my closet and got my jacket.

I remember us arriving at the minor emergency clinic at what I imagine around midnight. Through my coughs and watery eyes, I observed as my Father filled out paperwork. I looked around at all the different kinds of people. To me, it was fascinating. We sat down next to a lady; she was probably in her fifties. She had a dirty, black fur coat on and a fake magenta flower poking out of its front pocket. I remember her moaning, rocking. She simply could not sit still. Looking back, she was probably coming down from some kind of high and needed a fix- but naturally I didn't understand that then. I couldn't see her face, for she was hunched over. I watched her for what I believed several minutes, a welcome distraction to my relentless coughing. There was something, unnerving about her. But I couldn't look away.

"How long is this going to take?" She screamed. Everyone in the waiting room looked up at her.

Not a second later, a nurse came through the corridors and called out my name.

My Dad took my hand and the nurse led us to the patient rooms.

"I was here first!" The woman screamed, she had walked up behind us and grabbed the nurse's shirt. She began to tug on it to jerk her around.

"Mam, I'm going to have to ask you to sit down." The nurse pulled away in the politest manner possible.

"I've been here for over three hours!"

"We go by priority and availability of doctors. We have a pediatrician on staff and…"

The woman interrupted the nurse's speech by pulling out a knife. She lifted it up and stabbed it sharply into her own leg.

"Oh my God!" The nurse gasped.

"Now am I priority?" She screamed, looking around at everyone in the room.

My father grabbed my arm and pushed me behind him.

The woman pulled the knife out and threw it to the floor. She placed her hand on her wound then took it off. She stared at the blood on her hand- examining it…as if it were some extraterrestrial substance- the blood on her skin.

"The blood jet is poetry and there is no stopping it." She exclaimed- seconds after, she passed out.

Security came rushing through. The nurse took a moment to gather her wits. She then turned her attention back to us.

"I'm so, sorry about that- right this way."

My father sighed and picked me up as the nurse took us through the corridors.

"This damn city…" My father murmured. "Don't you ever let it scare you, Jane. Not any of it, don't you dare."

…

So here I was- staring at my hand- reminiscent of the magenta flower woman I'd seen all those years ago. But, instead of my own blood, it was someone else's.

Why do I remember this story now? Well, my father didn't know it… but he'd inadvertently prepared me for this very moment. Sure, he never in a million years would have thought I would be in _this _situation, but he had prepared me for it nonetheless. It all became hideously clear. All of the sudden, I wasn't afraid anymore. Zsasz, the Mob, Joker…They didn't scare me at all…none of them. The only thing that did scare me- was myself.

My stabber-provocateur, Zsasz had stumbled back a few steps and taken to leaning against the wall. He clenched his stomach, glaring at me in disbelief- shock.

I felt an arm move across my back and drape itself over my shoulder possessively- proudly. Joker was at my side. My whole body shook from the power and force of his laughs. In a flash, he turned me towards him and planted his lips on mine. His kiss, like always, was unmeasured and forceful. His tongue asserted itself into my mouth. I could barely breathe, but I was caught so off guard that I didn't think to pull away. He was awfully enthusiastic; copious in his PDA…it was as if he were rewarding me.

When he released, he gave me a gracious grin. I smiled back, unsure of what exactly I was smiling about.

The moment was disrupted by movement to our right. Joker and I looked over.

"Look at this one, Janie." He gestured towards the suited man, Oswald? I think that was what he said…

"He just walks out, leaves his injured employee behind." He turned back to Zsasz. "Hope he provides a good health plan." He laughed again and gave me a squeeze.

"I'll be right back." Joker whispered… a promise whispered somewhat seductively if I wasn't imagining…he ran out the foyer doors behind the suited man while I just stood there for a moment, trying, without success to rationalize everything.

I looked back down at my hands…at the blood. I felt like I was in a David Lynch film. I studied it; the red substance on my hand…everything seemed surreal, dreamlike.

Strange and peculiar thoughts started swimming through my head. The blood was a different consistency than water. I had the impulse to lick it…to smear it, to do something with it other than just leaving it on my person. I quickly suppressed those thoughts- what the hell was wrong with me? I looked at Zsasz…the man whose blood I was sporting.

To my surprise, he was already looking at me, grinning. "I owe you an apology," He started.

"Well I stabbed you; I think that more than gets you back for cutting me…and threatening my life."

"Not about that, I mean about insulting you- I didn't think you had it in you. I was wrong. Be sure to tell your boyfriend that. He'll love it."

"Who?" I couldn't really process what he was saying- or the fact I was having a conversation with him.

"Joker, not your bat."

My eyes lowered. Even a serial killer was judging me.

"Do you want me to…" I swallowed as I walked up next to him. "I can get you to a hospital."

Zsasz laughed. "You really are new to this. People like us don't go to hospitals. Your Clown- he likes to blow them up."

His words made me shiver…us? Was I now initiated into the world- the unspoken brethren of villains-criminals-killers? Was there a listing?

"How do you take care of things like that?"

"It's no matter …Joker's going to come back in a second and kill me."

"What?"

"He's been all over the place looking for you…he got you back, but I followed you from your Professor's house- to his apartment… I threatened you again. Girly, regular-everyday-dentists commit crimes of passion when someone messes with their woman. Think critically; think about who you're fraternizing with."

Was, is that romantic? I couldn't help but ask myself. But I knew the answer…no, it's obsessive, fanatical, neurotic, and particularly dangerous. But I'm not going to lie, the idea was vaguely impressive. That's right, I was losing it.

"Enlighten me, what's your next plan of action? Or are you just going to let me sit here and bleed out?"

"I don't want anyone to die," I spoke aloud decidedly…as if I had some sort of authority over these things. "But you're just going to try and kill me again, aren't you?"

Zsasz grinned, "Now she's figuring it out."

"So, you can't…stop it? I mean, why can't you just leave me alone?" I slid my back down on the wall and sat next to him.

"You ask some stimulating questions…all with particularly complex answers."

"Why don't you try and answer…you're not going anywhere…"

Zsasz gave a laugh that quickly turned into a cough, clenching his wounded stomach throughout. "Because I like you…I like the way you're angry all the time, and I particularly like how you fight back."

"But you kill all kinds of people…"

"All of which possessed some quality I liked."

"So you kill people because you like them? That doesn't make any sense." I knew better than to say that- it obviously made perfect sense to him.

Zsasz shrugged. "Why not? The world is an unfair, unjust place. It's full of perversion and travesty. I'm doing them a favor- ridding them of the filth they have to live in. It was either me or something else that would kill them…there's no such thing as a natural cause of death, especially in Gotham."

It seemed every one of these killers had their own collection of philosophical concepts…all of them had a certain motives for doing what they did…I guess I really wanted to see some kind of pattern- some reason they all shared for committing these atrocious acts- but I wasn't finding it. "Doesn't it bother you, living this way, having no self-control?"

He gave me a strange look, as if _I _weren't making any sense. "No, but it's going to bother you…it's those kind of statements- now I'm on the fence about you again."

"I can't believe all of this." I pulled my knees to my chest and laid my head on them.

"What's your name again, Jessie?"

"Janie..." No! "Jane." I quickly corrected.

"Well Jane, if you're looking for a way out- now would be it."

I lifted my head and looked over to him "What do you mean?" I mumbled.

"I mean you're playing with fire, little girl. You've taken up with the most notorious, dangerous criminal Gotham has ever known…you've permitted him into your life, in between your legs…"

"Okay, that's enough; you don't know what you're talking about…"

"I know exactly what I'm talking about. You just don't see it, because you're not like us, you're too conditioned by society so you can't see it."

"See what?" I was getting rather sick of sociopaths telling me who I was.

"His obsession with you,"

"His," I stopped myself. "He doesn't…He just likes…" I couldn't really lie, of course he was…I just wasn't going to say it aloud.

"That's the problem-You don't live on the same plane as we do. You're normal, relationships- connections with people…we don't function on the same levels. You're just so afraid to acknowledge the extremes in people. How long do you think you can keep it up, Jane? How long do you pretend you have everything under control?"

"I do have it..."

"That's another thing you people do, you live in denial. All of you are so unwilling to accept that they've went too far- that they've crossed the line."

I never thought I'd get cautionary counsel from a serial killer. Especially one that had previously tried to kill me…

"I can handle it." I kept trying to give him short answers. He was telling me things I didn't want to hear- truths I didn't want to grant any value to.

"Jane, no one can handle Joker...he's a force more than a man."

I could almost feel his words planting themselves in my mind. Zsasz chuckled. "Look, the way I see it you've only got one out. If you want to leave- to try to escape these life choices, this is most likely your very last chance. And when I say right now I mean right now-right this second. Because I can almost promise you, you're not going to get another chance. He's not going to let you go...trust me, I know the type- I am the type."

It quickly sunk in. I was in serious trouble if a serial killer could see it and I couldn't. But he was right. I was in over my head. I didn't know what to think anymore. I was so deeply involved in this world that was living minute to minute.

So yes, I could leave. I could slip out of the back of the building and find a cab. I could run, I could get away and maybe I'd have a chance…

"What if I stay?"

"There's that spark again…but if you're going to stay, you're going to have to get over those commitment issues of yours. With the Joker, with any of us- it's all or nothing, black and white, friend and enemy."

I took a moment to let that sink in. He was absolutely right. It didn't matter how much I didn't want to admit it.

"Well, too late for all that. Looks like it's been decided for you." Zsasz remarked. I was so lost in thought I couldn't comprehend what he meant until I looked up.

Joker was walking towards where we were sitting. We both looked up to him casually, as if we were just two friends talking about the weather.

He lowered his brow as he approached us. "Janie, what are you doing?"

"Talking," Ok, even I was impressed with how casual I was being about everything. Well I was either impressed or horrified; all of those differentiating lines that used to be so clear were starting to get blurry.

"I was just telling Janie here about our club…though she has potential, I'm still not sure she's ready for the full membership."

"You don't get to talk to her." Joker spoke firmly.

I raised my brow incredulously... Suddenly feeling like I was his property.

"I'm pretty sure I already did." Zsasz corrected.

"I don't know why it is you keep crawling out of the woodwork…" Joker knelt down in front of us. "I sympathize, I really do. You're trying to take your place on the mantle. But I've had just about enough of it. So let's not pretend this ends with us getting coffee."

"I'm not." Zsasz coughed then looked over to me. "See what I mean? I told y..."

"I said don't talk to her." Joker snapped.

"I get it, Clown." Zsasz spat. "We all know she's your pet."

"Well that's wonderful." Joker spoke cheerfully and pulled out his knife. "That will make things quicker; Janie and I have things to do." He grinned at me.

"Stop it." I interjected.

Both Joker and Zsasz looked over to me perplexedly.

"What is it, Janie?" Joker tilted his head like a curious puppy.

"I can't take this, this,"

Joker laughed,

"It's not a fucking joke! I can't take it anymore! I'm not anyone's property." Obviously, my words were true, because I could feel it all boiling up inside me.

"Poor choice, girlie." Zsasz warned.

"Shut up, Zsasz- Janie's talking."

I felt my heart accelerate, as if I were having some sort of panic attack. I couldn't take it; I sprung up and headed for the back of the auditorium.

I heard an exaggerated sigh from Joker and a laugh from Zsasz.

"I was right, Clown!" Zsasz spat. "You know I'm right about her."

No matter what I heard or thought I heard- I was unwavering in my resolve not to turn around. I was determined to walk; where was I going? Well, I hadn't quite figured that out yet.

But I'll be truthful- I knew he'd follow me. Not because I'm such a catch or because he was in love with me or anything like that- it was because he liked the chase. He longed for the chase; it was his one and only thrill. This was what he enjoyed. He wanted to pursue and conquer.

And yes, I did want him to follow me. I wanted to stop having to see the truth about what a mess I was in. I wanted to stop seeing dead and dying bodies. If there were no bloody bodies in sight, I could pretend that this was just some twisted fantasy- one of which I would soon wake up from.

I felt his hand wrap around my arm, I jerked loose but he grabbed it again.

I flipped out. I began pushing, kicking, and flailing.

"No." He growled as he fought me back, trying to gain control of my arms- which seemed to be his most eminent threat. He caught a hold of my right arm and dragged me to the stairway in the foyer that led to the balcony.

"Let me go!" I struggled under his tight grip on my arm.

"As soon as you stop squirming, my flippant little fox. We're going to have another one of our chats." He informed me as he tossed me down on the stairs.

I glowered at him like an angry child. I would say that was a reasonable reaction- but I honestly didn't know. I was beginning to realize I didn't know anything anymore. Every action I made, every action he made- they were indistinct. Nothing made sense.

Joker crossed his arms and sat down next to me. He was silent, waiting for me to start. I shook my head.

"Spill it, Red."

"I can't do…"

"No!" He yelled immediately, stopping my speech. "I've had enough of that. Your little see-saw act has been beaten into the ground. At this point, you're just pulling straws."

"I don't want this to be my life." At that moment, I was telling the complete truth…or so I felt that way. All I wanted to do was get away from him; I couldn't think clearly when I was around him. I placed my hands on the step I was sitting on and raised my body upwards. But he was adamant. His body shadowed mine in conquest and pushed me back down.

"Really? Then why do you keep coming back to me, hmm?"

"You found me," I corrected.

"You _wanted_ me to find you."

"No,"

"Yes. Don't lie to me, Janie. At first it was fun, but now it's infuriating…and unreasonable."

"I'm,"

"It belittles our relationship…" Joker cast his eyes down across my person- bottom to top…this was turning him on. "If you didn't want me to find you, you wouldn't have stayed somewhere so obvious. But let's make this exceedingly clear- you needed me to find you before we even met."

He was quick with words. For my every rebuff, he had a rebuttal. I swallowed.

"I was just fine."

"Your life was mechanical…robotic; you could barely call it an existence."

"Stop it." I couldn't take any more of this, I tried to get up, but he pushed my back down again.

"No, you're staying here. We're going to finish this once and for all."

"I don't remember where I contracted to do everything you say." I challenged.

He laughed. "Of course not, that would be un-Janie like."

"I want to," I stopped and shook my head. "I need to be alone."

"Well that's not going to fly anymore. I don't trust you to be alone."

I lowered my brow.

"Oh dear," He cupped my face in his hands and pursed his lips. "Just because I like you, Janie- just because we had magnificent sex doesn't mean for one second that I trust you." He mused. "Aside from myself, you're the most inconsistent person I know." He pulled me in for a kiss but I pushed him off of me. He caught his balance on the rail as he fell backwards…but he managed to pull himself back up. "Don't act so offended," He laughed. "It's not like you trust me either, obviously."

The truth was I wasn't offended. Truly- I was just tired, tired and weary. I didn't know how long I could keep this up- both physically and emotionally. "Why do you keep…?"

"Why do you ask? Do you need a little reassurance? Feeling insecure?"

Now it was my turn to smirk. "No, you've made it abundantly clear that you like me and my body…I just want to know why, why can't you just let me go?"

"Now, before Zsasz and Cobblepot showed up you were finally…"

"That was then." I quickly corrected. "As you said, I'm inconsistent."

Joker tilted his head for a moment. He flashed me an amused grin. "You're a NIN fan,"

"So?"

"So let me explain in a way you'll comprehend- you_ let _me do all of this. You let me violate, penetrate, and utterly complicate you. Key word is _let. _ There's no going back. You're not in the slightest naïve Janie; you knew…and know exactly what you're doing."

He was looking at me now with those predatory eyes. I felt consumed by it. It's amazing what a few lyrics can convey. I could see it all with perfect clarity.

I made sure to look him square in the eye. "You always say you don't have plans but that's bullshit…You want to take me away, to follow you into the obscurity…You're trying to steal me away from the world." And I had to admit (but only in my head) that honestly, it was an alluring prospect. As of late, the world hadn't been particularly nice or fair to me. And then there's that other thing…

-The more and more time I spent with him, the more I didn't want to be anywhere else. This is how I knew my sanity was slipping.

It turns out I didn't need to say anything out loud. Joker already knew what I was thinking. He was clever enough to know he had won this battle…in fact; he was already savoring his victory in his smile.

"Come along, Janie girl." Joker sprung up. "We don't want to miss the show…"

I was confused by his statement- what show? I pulled myself up and just stood there for a second. My head was fuzzy, I was truly losing my mind…and for those of you that don't know, it's not a pleasant occurrence- it's an ugly, ugly thing.

"What about Zsasz?" I murmured.

Joker turned and looked back to the auditorium. "Oh yeah, I forgot about him." He pulled out his knife. "Let's go finish him off, I guess we have time." Joker said without missing a step. He was already in the auditorium before he finished his speech.

I stood there for a few moments in silence, trying to gather myself. Per my personality- I was trying to find clarity. But the truth was I just wasn't going to. My sanity was something I'd have to sacrifice for the time being.

…And what was he talking about-having time and missing the show? Something was going on. I had a terrible feeling in my stomach.

"Wait!" I sprung up and went after him. As much as I disliked the slimy serial killer Zsasz, I was sticking to my guns… Joker was good at what he did. He knew exactly just how to get to me. Yes, I'll admit it. I wanted to be with him. That's completely fucked up. But that didn't mean I would turn into him. I'm not a murderer; I still didn't want anyone to die. And I would stop it if I could.

I arrived in the auditorium with no Zsasz in sight. All that was left was a pool of blood where he had laid.

Not a second later I heard Joker's laugh. Shortly after there was another familiar voice. They were both coming from the stage.

"Tell me where she is." Batman demanded.

Joker laughed, as he rose from a fallen position- chuckling all throughout. "Isn't this familiar? Same question, different dame. But this one's not tied to a bunch of barrels of gas."

The door slammed behind me and they both looked over.

"Oh Janie, there you are. Bats was just yelling about you. Were your ears burning?"Joker asked.

Batman looked over at me. He stared at me, in disbelief. I don't blame him; I'd be disappointed in me too. I had to break our stare first, I looked over to Joker.

Joker had jumped off the stage and was headed towards me. He grabbed my hand but I resisted. Joker lowered his brow and gave me a threatening look. But I wasn't about to give in. Was it duplicitous? Yes- but just couldn't bear letting Batman down- not after how gracious he was with me.

Joker could tell I was deep in thought- and he never liked that…not unless he thought I was thinking about him.

"She's being shy…you know, I wonder about our mutual friend, Bats…don't you? I wonder where her loyalties really rest."

"Leave her alone, Joker." Batman approached slowly and carefully.

Joker ignored Batman's command and jerked my body forward until my arm was almost pulled out of socket. I begrudgingly followed. He had his knife out, so Batman carefully followed. We caught glances a few times, my eyes apologetic all throughout.

Joker was up to something, he'd dragged me back up to the stage. Batman followed suit.

"Now, you're probably wondering why I asked you here, Batman. I know your schedule is just nuts these days."

"You didn't ask me here, I found you."

Joker laughed as he put his arm around my shoulders. "No, no, I wanted to be found." He made sure to emphasize that last part as he looked over at me.

I had no idea what was going on, and I'll be honest- I was terrified.

"You'll be sad to hear that there's trouble in paradise. See, there seems to be a lack of communication in Janie and I's relationship. I understand that everyone has their rough patches," He squeezed me tighter. "So that's why I thought I'd bring in a third party." He gestured towards Batman.

"Joker…" Batman continued. He looked over to me.

"No, no…let me finish."

"What is this?" I asked under his hold.

"Call it a baptism- an initiation, Janie. You've been neutral for far too long. It's time to get inducted one way or another.

Oh God…

Before I could say anything more, the stage doors flew open. Batman whipped around. A bunch of men came running in. It seemed Batman didn't even take a breath, he immediately started fighting them.

I looked to Joker.

He didn't take his eyes off of the fight. "In all fairness, you were half right, Janie- I do make plans. But they're all spur-of-the-moment- unrehearsed."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Cobblepot. He offered me a deal- if I could get Bats here."

"What kind of a deal?" I looked over to Batman, who seemed to be fairing quite well, considering he was outnumbered 5:1. "These aren't your men?"

"They're Cobblepot's. Call it, an audition."

"I don't understand."

"Of course you don't, you weren't part of making it happen…"

One of the men knocked Batman down, another pulled out a gun.

"Watch out!" I shouted.

Batman dodged the bullet- funny; it didn't seem to make a sound when the man had shot it. Batman shot a cable up in the air. It caught onto the metal railings and he lifted himself off. "Jane, hold on, I'll come back!" He reassured me- something I didn't deserve.

Joker lowered his brow. "Now, I wonder what he meant by that? It seems to me that Bats still thinks you're some kind of innocent…"

Cobblepot's men ran up the stairs to go after Batman. I looked over to the Joker.

"Is that what this is? You're jealous?"

Joker smiled. "Of his gullibility toward your true nature?" Joker laughed. "No, I'm just setting things straight, Janie. Trust me; it's for the good of our relationship…and, I'm also doing this for him as well. He doesn't have what we have."

"So you brought him here, somehow- so he can see my so called true nature?"

"More and less, Janie...more and less."

"What about these men?"

"Cobblepot wanted to meet our mutual friend…he just asked if I could get him here- and I knew I could…or, you could."

"I can't take this."

"Well sure you can…and you're going to. But more importantly, you're going come clean. We're going to lay all the cards on the table. I've been far too lenient towards you for far too long, Cherry."

"This is ridiculous."

"I actually think it's all quite hilarious…like some kind of vaudeville variety show." The stage doors opened again. Oswald emerged through them. He nodded curtly. "Clown," He stared at me for a moment. "And whatever it is you are?"

"If she had a criminal name, it would be "Chameleon."" Joker declared as he kissed my cheek.

"They'll never outmatch him."

"Who?" Cobblepot mused.

"Oh she's talking about your men versus the Batman." Joker answered.

My mind was thoroughly warped. This was all a game to him.

"He's too strong for them." For some reason I needed to say this aloud as some verbal reassurance to myself.

Cobblepot shrugged. "I know."

Joker smirked.

We all were distracted by a large thud from above. Joker took my arm and dragged us out of the way as Cobblepot's men came down from the rafters- three of them dragging Batman down with them.

I watched in terror as they dropped his body in the middle of the stage- it was like some theatrical gothic-horror play.

"We don't want to kill him, at least, not right now." Oswald began. "I just want to see who's behind the mask."

"The gun…" I started.

"How do you subdue a rabid bat….? Tranquilizers." He explained.

Joker laughed, "See?" He shook me under his hold. "This is all very entertaining."

I looked over to him. "You don't want this."

"I don't care, Janie. I only care about afterwards."

One of the men reached towards Batman's mask. He was immediately shocked by a surge of electricity.

Joker giggled. "Oh, I forgot to tell you- it does that."

Cobblepot flashed Joker a look of disapproval. "Alright then, you do it."

"That's not how things work. I did my part."

Cobblepot smirked, "Well I'm changing it…If you're such an expert- you take off the mask."

I knew immediately that wasn't going to fly; Joker wasn't going to being told what to do. "You know what; I've changed my mind, too." Joker pulled out his gun and aimed it at Oswald.

His men immediately aimed their guns at us. But Joker didn't waver.

"You have five guns pointed at you, I'd put yours down."

"All of which are tranquilizers…Mine has bullets." Joker giggled.

"All of them are perfectly effective…" Oswald warned. "You'll be sedated, just like the Batman."

"Not immediately- not before I put two real bullets in your head…They shoot me I shoot you, now tell your underlings to put em down, Wobbles."

Oswald gestured for his men to put their guns down. As they did, Joker quickly shot three of them in procession. The two left scrambled for their guns but Joker quickly shot them as well.

"Janie girl's right." Joker spoke while turning his gun to Oswald. "I don't want this…see, Bats and I have a special relationship, and I don't want you going and spoiling all of our fun. Who do you think you are?"

"You have no idea who I am- and what happens to the people that cross me."

"Threats don't really work on me." Joker rebuffed. "But thanks for trying." With that, Joker shot him as well…Humpty dumpty went tumbling down, grabbing his gunshot wound on his shoulder.

I laughed a little, it was just too perfect not to be funny…dear Lord, I sure do miss my mind.

"This is why plans should always be impromptu; …they never turn out as intended anyway." Joker ruminated.

"This was strange and pointless…" I stared Cobblepot- he was bleeding profusely as he scrambled on the floor for his gun.

Joker went up to him and kicked it away. He took his own gun and smacked Oswald on the head- knocking him out.

"As is everything, Janie. As is everything…So, now that we're alone…let's see if we can't get to the unveiling ceremony."

It took me a second to realize what he was talking about. I quickly rushed over and stood in front of him and Batman. "Oh, no."

Joker sighed. "Janie, we've been through this. First your Professor now Bats? Are you just going to be everyone's protector?"

"I wouldn't need to if you weren't so insistent on hurting everyone."

"I don't want to hurt him much…I just want to have a face to face."

"We don't need to know who Batman is."

"No, I really want to know…and this goes way back- beyond this whole '_we' _business you're bringing up."

"That doesn't matter."

Joker smiled widely. "So, we're actually being decisive on something…come -come, Janie. Just a little slice of the knife…just a little peek."

I shook my head. "Once you know who he is- you could use the people he loves…You could hurt them. And I'm not going to let you do that."

Joker tilted his head as he walked closer to me. He lowered his brow as he pulled out his knife. He pointed it at me with it. "You know who he is…don't you?"

Actually, I didn't. I didn't understand where he got that idea. "No, no one should know who he is."

"You know, Janie."

"I don't…"

"Why is it I never believe you? Not that I'm complaining- it's astonishing yet, adorable at how bad you are at lying."

"Joker, I don't know who he is."

"No, you do…you just don't realize it."

"What?"

"Come on; let's see if your theory of who it might be is correct…" He walked towards me some more. I looked on the ground near Cobblepot; his gun was right next to me. I quickly swooped down and got it. I cocked it and pointed it towards him.

"What, now you're going to shoot me?"

"I said you're not taking his mask off."

"Janie, Janie, Janie…" He continued to advance towards me.

"Stay there," I commanded. But he wasn't listening. I tried to shoot the gun to scare him off but he smacked it away, I watched it fall into the orchestra pit. I wrestled with him for a second but he whipped me around and put the knife to my neck.

"It saddens me that this is what we've come to. It's like we're an old married couple." He mused, "In that way I guess we've grown."

"No it doesn't…"

"You're right, no matter the circumstances- you and I always have so much fun together. But I'm growing reeeaalllly tired of you trying to act all ethical whenever if suits your fancy. "

"You're not tired of anything. This is what you want… defiance. You'd be uninterested- lost without it."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"I am. I saw you earlier," I challenged. "This turns you on." I struggled under his hold but he wasn't letting up.

"Lots of things turn me on when it concerns you; you'll have to be more specific."

"You want the challenge."

"There's where you got it all wrong…I want you to…"

"Then I'll correct myself- You either want a nemesis or servant."

"Unfortunately for you I already have an adversary, Cherry. You're standing in front of him."

"Unfortunately for you the whole subservient thing doesn't do it for me."

"Trust me; you're not suited for it either."

"I'm not going to be your live-in lackey that you like to have sex with."

Joker chuckled into my ear. "Such a way with words…" He licked the side of my cheek.

"I'm serious."

"I know…" He continued to laugh. "But I think I've always been one for equality. Where is this all coming from?"

"Why did you want Batman here? What is it you want to happen?"

Now was my chance. I put my hands up on his arm and brought the knife down. He almost effortlessly allowed it- which eased my worry a little less and simultaneously a little more. I had clout over him. But that sway was on a very delicate scale, I could easily lose it. I carefully slid around to face him.

Joker took his hand and slid it up my cheek. This was my biggest problem; I was way too responsive to his touch. In fact, with every reaction he gave me I attached myself to him more. He was insecure; he wanted reassurance that I felt the same way about him as he did about me. In that way- it didn't matter what Zsasz said-Joker was still a man. There were still very basic and intrinsic things that all of us humans desire. Joker's just happened to be intensified.

I made a small, involuntary moan. Joker grinned. "Tell me how you really feel."

-"Jane," A voice called from behind. Batman had come to.

My eyes darted sideways for a moment. I could feel the energy in the room immediately change. That was the problem- as I had said earlier…he wanted to steal me away from the world…that meant from Batman- in particular.

Batman had given me a chance. He'd given me a chance and I'd naturally screwed it up by running off to Dr. Grant's. But Joker was right. I had wanted him to find me. I wanted to see him again. I could feel a haze settling in my mind. He had his hooks in me. True, I did want both worlds. But at the moment, I could only choose one.

I took Joker's chin and lowered it for a kiss. This time, it was my kiss. It was soft, but deliberate in its intent. I only let his lips softly brush mine. It was an odd and unusual being he was always trying to play tonsil hockey with me…but it was pleasant. I liked having control, and I particularly liked the look in his eyes when I gazed into them. Joker was surprised…surprised that I'd made a choice…and somewhat surprised that he enjoyed something not initiated by his own volition.

I tried to ignore the fact that Batman was staring holes in my back. I couldn't worry about that right now. Right now, it was my job to keep him safe- and try to convince myself that was the only reason why I was choosing Joker over him.

"Janie, Janie, quite conflicting, how does your head not explode from all the treachery?" Joker asked, almost somberly.

"Not anymore, because I'm doing what I want, I'm making a choice."

Joker pursed his lips. "Interesting,"

"Joker," Batman tried to pull himself up but was having some difficulty. "Let her go. She's only acting interesting in you to protect me."

I had to square with the fact that that wasn't really true- but shut up, Batman.

"First of all, I have a whole janitor's closet full of reasons why you're wrong." Joker started. "But that's a long lengthy Harlequin novel of a story-one of which is particularly X-rated and frankly none of your business... Second, there are simply other things Janie and I are going to do with the next few hours… I'd rather see the play than read the book- so to speak.

"Let's go." I tugged on Joker's lapel. He didn't need any more time to think about this.

Batman started to get up; "I know you think you've found someone, but it doesn't count if they don't want to be with you, Joker. You're fooling yourself…She only pretends to like you because she's scared of you."

That was the wrong thing to say, though I think that was Batman's intent. Joker went over and kicked him- causing him to fumble. I cringed

"I love you, Bats- I really do. But you've got to stop being so jealous, it's not becoming." He kicked him again.

"Give it up, let her go." Batman continued.

"Why? So you can sweep her up and play the hero? Janie's not interested in something so cliché."

I bit my tongue. I could feel it again- the anxiety. I hated this…All of the bodies all around…I hadn't realized until then that Batman was bleeding. At some point earlier he must have been stabbed by something. I saw a piece of whatever it was protruding from his lower abdomen.

"Just take this as a warning. You leave her alone, don't look at her- don't touch her. No one touches her except me." Joker continued. Every time Batman started to rise, Joker would knock him down. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Stop it, Joker." I took his arm and jerked him back. He whipped around towards me. "Janie, this doesn't really concern you."

"Obviously it does, now stop. Let him go- he's hurt."

Joker laughed. "Of course he is, and I intend on adding to said injuries." He stared at me for a moment, daring me to defy him. When I was silent for a few moments, he turned back around.

Batman was on one knee and one foot, trying to push himself up. Joker pushed him against a stage pillar and kneed him in the stomach. Batman slid down to a sitting position.

Joker seemed to know exactly what he was doing. He grabbed the under the mask around the neck, pushing some kind of button or something that released the mask.

"Now," He placed his hands on it. "Let's have some proper introductions."

I couldn't take it. I looked around and ran to the nearest body. I picked up a tranquilizer gun and aimed it towards him.

Joker had obviously heard my shuffling and turned around. He grinned and glared at me. "Don't you do it, Janie."

"I have to. I'm not going to let you hurt him anymore."

Joker stood up and faced me. He took a step closer and I shot him in the chest.

He jumped a little but immediately pulled the dart and gave me an unreadable grin.

"The fun I'm going to have with you when I wake up." He proclaimed. A few moments later he passed out on the stage.

I felt a sudden sigh of relief as I went over and knelt next to him. I'd never seen him at complete rest or- at assisted rest. It was a strange thing. I stroked his cheek. Makeup smeared all over my fingers.

I looked up and noticed that Bruce was barely holding onto consciousness, and that his breathes were very shallow. And then I realized that Batman was Bruce Wayne.

I looked down to the Joker. He was holding the mask in his hands. I took it and walked up to Batman...Bruce.

He shook his head through his shallow breaths as I approached him. I handed him the mask.

"There's no point now."

"Yes, there is." I turned around to Cobblepot, who still seemed to be out thankfully. "Other people besides the Joker wanted to know. Don't give them the satisfaction."

"Joker knows, I'm sure he saw me."

"Even if he did, he wouldn't tell anyone."

"You seem to have a very intimate understanding of him." He locked eyes with me.

I nodded. "More than I should." I took the mask and put it back on him. My hand slid down his covered cheek. "I'm sorry."

I could tell that he was fading.

I shook my head as I looked back at the Joker. "I know I don't deserve this, but…" When I turned back, Bruce was out. There was silence in the auditorium. I looked around and stood up slowly and looked around.

I was the only one standing. Yes, some were still alive but I was the only one conscious. I started shaking, I hugged my arms around myself, suddenly feeling utterly broken, damaged beyond repair. I let out a sob, I tried to swallow it and hold it in but two more came. My legs shook until they finally buckled out and I fell to the stage floor. I didn't even feel like I was sinking anymore- I was at the bottom. I could feel the tears falling as their salty matter burned my face. It was almost cathartic to let it all out- but Joker was right…there was no reason to feel sorry for myself. No one was there to feel sorry for me-nor did I deserve it.

I cleared my throat and took the deepest breath I could muster. I had to suck it up. First, I had to arm myself. I didn't know when Cobblepot would wake up- and I didn't want to risk it. I went to Joker and grabbed one of his guns- one I knew had actual bullets. Next, I grabbed another tranquilizer gun. I put the weapons in each of my jacket pockets.

After that, I went up to Joker- the man I had strong, undeniable feelings for, and I couldn't help it.

But I cared about Batman also, in a different way. He was too good for all of this. And Bruce, I had an unexpected reaction when I found out it was him…I was relieved. I was relieved and saddened by the fact that he'd been hurt- by the fact that I'd treated Bruce so badly when he was really just trying to protect and look after me.

But damn it, it had always been Joker. And once again, I assigned myself the job of dragging him by his shoulders. – When Oswald came to, I didn't want him to harm Joker…Nor did I want any police to arrest him, even though I should have wanted that…

I dragged him offstage and into the orchestra pit. There was an old curtain piece and I covered him up with it. I gave him a gun- a tranquilizer gun and put it in his hand. He'd know it was me that did it…

When I got back up to the stage, Oswald was indeed waking back up. He was still sitting and he shook his head a few times. First, he looked to Batman and then to me.

"What happened?"

I pulled out the tranquilizer gun and shot him in the chest. "Sorry,"

He furrowed his brow and stared at me for a moment, but quickly fell out of consciousness.

I went to Bruce…Batman. Dragging him would be more difficult than Joker. He was heavier and he also was wounded. I needed to get him medical attention. But that was tricky…how did I do that without revealing to someone that he was Batman? This is where I would need help.

…

Dr. Grant let out a sigh of relief as he opened his door.

"Damn it, girl." He wrapped his arms around me and hugged my neck. I closed my eyes and savored the moment. It was nice to know that someone cared if I lived or died.

"I called the police, they haven't been able to find you."

"Are they here now?"

"No, why? Is there something…"

I looked back the van I stole from Joker- that he'd presumably stolen from someone else.

Dr. Grant noticed the blood on my jacket. "Jesus kid, are you alright?"

"I'm…" I couldn't in good conscience answer that question one way or another. "I need your help." I looked back at the van again.

Dr. Grant shot me a look of disapproval. "Archer, I love you and this is for the best…we aren't going to help that psychopath friend of yours."

I shook my head. "Not that friend."

…

Dr. Grant, like most able bodied men his age had joined the army. And unlike other Professors with the title of "Doctor,"- He actually had medical experience from the war.

Per his instructions, Dr. Grant decided we should not stay at his house. Instead, we went up to the school. Being that it was closed we faired quite well carrying a Batman into a portable building without anyone noticing.

We laid him on Dr. Grant's military cot and then he went and locked the door.

Bruce was waking up around that time. He looked around in confusion.

"Don't worry," I assured him. "You're safe."

"It would be better if he was sleeping if we're going to get that shard out of his belly." Dr. Grant advised.

I remembered the tranquilizer gun and I pulled it out.

"Will this work?"

Dr. Grant grinned. "Where the blazes did you get that?"

"You don't want to know…but he was shot with it before…not by me." I quickly added.

"I don't know what's in it…and he already has a slow heartbeat…we shouldn't risk it. We should also get this suit off of him."

"The Joker can't…" Bruce started.

"The Joker's not here," I reassured. "You can trust Dr. Grant. We just need to get your suit off because we've got to work on that puncture wound."

"They mustn't know…"

"I understand, none of them will…just us, I promise you."

Batman had no reason to trust me, but for some reason he did. He grabbed my hand and led it to his hip. I felt a buckle.

I gave him the strongest smile I could muster. "Thank you,"

Bruce closed his eyes and continued to hold onto my hand.

Dr. Grant grinned slightly. "His mask doesn't even need to come off…in fact, it's probably better if it doesn't. I was tortured in war; I don't particularly want to go through it again if someone comes asking me who he is."

I helped Dr. Grant carefully lift Batman's armor off. I lifted up his back and held him up as we took off the back as well. We carefully rested him back down.

"Jesus H. Christ."

Dr. Grant and I looked up and down his torso. It was torn up with bruises, cuts, and scars. There were so many it was almost impossible to count. The newest one had a large piece of glass protruding from it. Blood flow was inconstant…but still pouring out nonetheless. Naturally I compared it to Jokers' chest- which was quite similar. It was dark so I didn't see it as well…but I was surprised at how similarly I felt about both of them…the pain, the agony, it was apparent on both bodies…just in different ways.

"Luckily it isn't as bad as it looks…not deep at all. He's probably mostly delirious from whatever else happened and those tranquilizers."

"Good,"

"But we've still got to pull it out…and it's still going to hurt him like hell. Jane, I've got to pull it out then you need to apply direct pressure…press down on it hard."

I nodded.

"Blood's going to come out pretty damn fast, so be ready."

I nodded, "I'm ready."

He took some industrial sized tweezers and gave them a firm pull.

Bruce moaned and lifted his head. I caught his helmet before it smacked back into the cot and I gently guided his body back down. "Easy,"

Immediately after, I pressed on the wound with the towel. I could feel the blood soak through a bit already. I pressed a little harder.

"How long do we do this?"

"I'm going to the science lab to get some gauze and bandages to wrap him up with. Keep pressing until I get back." Dr. Grant unlocked the door and turned off the lights.

"Just in case, keep it to a dull roar." He suggested as he shut the door and locked us back in the room.

Bruce was awake the whole time- I could tell. His breathing wasn't as steady as one who was unconscious.

"Jane, take my mask off, I can't breathe."

Truth was- he could breathe just fine. I think he was just having trouble with who he wanted to be in front of me.

"I can't, I've got to press down on puncture."

Bruce maneuvered his hands until they reached the side of his head. He moaned at the strain on his wound,

"Stop it!" I cringed as I bit my lip.

But he wouldn't listen to me. He eventually took his helmet off and threw it on the floor. He breathed recklessly as his hands fell back down and he looked up at me.

"Where are we?"

"The University, Anthropology Department."

He nodded as he looked around. "What is this place?"

"Dr. Grant's office."

"Your Professor?"

I nodded.

"Why did you get your Professor to open his office and doctor me?"

"I…" It was so embarrassing to answer that question. "It was either here or the butcher shop." I laughed. "I didn't have anywhere else to take you. I don't exactly have a lot of... Dr. Grant's my family." I finally admitted.

"Why did you take me at all?"

He had a way of making me feel awful about everything.

"Because…because I needed to. It was the right thing to do."

"Where's the Joker?"

"I left him behind."

"And you took me?"

"You were hurt." I couldn't take much more of this. "I'm sorry, Bruce. I don't deserve your sympathy but I'm so sorry."

"We all do things…often unaware that we're doing them…they're out of our control."

"We both know that's not true."

"It's not your fault how you feel, Jane. You just need to stop acting upon your feelings."

"Look, you're way underestimating my involvement…You're just being nice."

"No, I'm being pragmatic. The Joker is charismatic, overwhelming…"

"Yes, but I'm not as susceptible to influence as you make me out to be."

"I know you aren't, you're strong. But we can't help how we feel."

I swallowed. Today had been another one of those emotional rollercoaster days- I'd had a lot of those recently. At least today I actually felt I did something right- I saved Batman. That was worth something…I think.

"I won't tell anyone, Bruce…No one…not ever." I felt the need to reassure him. This was probably the most vulnerable he'd been in a while. I didn't want him to feel that way. But let's be honest- it was me who was the vulnerable one.

"Somehow, I know that…"

"Good," I smiled- trying to bring the mood up.

Bruce smiled back at me, which was nice. But I had the feeling he was only doing it as Bruce- not Batman…my, what a time he must have reconciling the two.

"So, we should put this mask back on before Dr. Grant gets back." I reached down and got it from the floor.

Bruce used his arms to pull himself up. He grabbed his cut as he leaned against the wall and then moved his legs to the floor. "We need to get going."

"But your puncture," I sat next to him, holding his helmet in his hand.

"Tell me Doc, is it really that bad?"

I shook my head. "I think you'll live."

"Well that's good," He turned to look at me. "Thank you,"

I shook my head. "Don't thank me, I don't deserve it."

"Jane,"

"No, I'm serious. I'm not this good person you keep painting me to be. I'm…awful," I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes. I was being such a girl…

Bruce brought his hand to my cheek and gently guided my stare up to him. "You're not," He spoke in a dull whisper, his face lowered down as he planted his lips gently on mine. It wasn't exclusively a romantic kiss- rather it was two people conceding a point…or perhaps it was a reconciliation and comforting gesture. My eyelids slowly shut as I fell into him a bit more. His touch was reassuring, consoling. He was giving me the strength and resolve that I had lost- and I had missed it. Simultaneously, I felt that same longing, that same interminable loneliness in his touch. It was the same that Joker had in his embraces. However, there was something different about Bruce. He was strong, resilient to it. No matter how much it seemed to eat away at him, he repressed it. His eyes held a separate sadness…a sadness that could never be healed. But he used it- Bruce used it for Batman- for a greater good. He'd even told me so.

But I'll be a monkey's uncle if I didn't want to try to heal it. I'll admit it- I'm a sucker for the lonely soul- because I get it- I'm one too.

When he released he rested his hand on my cheek. I placed my hand upon his arm and left it there, embracing the warmth as I closed my eyes.

"Jane, he needs to be put away. This has to end."

"I know." I spoke softly- knowing that he was speaking the truth…but not sure if I actually had the fortitude to do it. With Joker, I wasn't sure what I was capable of. My feelings for him were too intense. I recalled hiding him in the orchestra pit- I could have exposed him- let him be caught then…but I didn't. I wanted him hidden, safe from whatever punishment that truthfully, he deserved.

It was then we heard a noise, a banging. Someone was in the hallway. I prayed to God silently that it was Dr. Grant.

"Stay here," Bruce informed…taking his mask from me.

"No," I corrected. "You're half-dressed and wounded. Let me go see." I sprung up. He grabbed my arm.

"Wait,"

I turned around and shook my head. "It's okay, I have a gun."

He lowered his brow.

I pulled it out. "Tranquilizer, besides- it's most likely Dr. Grant." I took the actual gun out and handed it to Bruce.

"Where did you…"

"No matter, just let me go. I won't do anything reckless, I'm too self-serving."

He nodded as he smiled a little, slowly letting my arm slide out of his grasp.

I took the tranq-gun out and slowly unlocked the door. I gave a slight nod to him before I went into the hallway and shut the door.

The hall was pitch-black. If I hadn't walked down it thousands of times I would have no idea where I was going. But luckily, my memory didn't fail me. The movement was right outside the portable door. There was a shadow pacing back and forth outside of it. It wasn't Dr. Grant. That most likely meant that whoever it was, meant to harm me and whoever I was with.

I took a deep breath as I walked closer. I decided that overthinking this might result in my getting shot or hurt. So I tried to carefully turn around and walk back to the room. But I guess I was spotted. Whoever it was threw the doors open and ran in after me.

"Freeze!" A voice said briskly. I was so startled; I immediately dropped the tranquilizer gun.

There were several cops and bright, blinding lights all pointed at me. Shit.

A big, bulky man in a brown leather trench coat approached me. "Jane Archer?" He asked abruptly.

I nodded.

He nodded himself, and then took my arm and flipped me around. He pushed me towards the wall and handcuffed my hands.

"Jane Archer, You're under arrest for complicit conspiracy, recklessness, willful blindness, mayhem, assault, malice aforethought, and speeding."

I had to snicker on that last one.

"You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Anything you do say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without an attorney present you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Do you understand these rights?"

"Yes," I murmured. What the hell else could I say?

The man turned me around and pointed his finger in his air. He spun it around as to tell everyone to pack up…I guess they had found what they came for.

…

The man that arrested me was Harvey Bullock's second in command. I didn't see Harvey Bullock until I got to the station. They sat me in a room for over an hour and not a word. I could hear them all outside- all busy and bustling about. Finally, Harvey came in and sat across from me. No, he wasn't anything like Gordon. It was obvious I wasn't going to get any tea. Bullock had cold eyes and I could already tell that he hated me- which was okay I guess…he had no reason to like or care about me.

"Listen, you've been uncooperative, duplicitous, and you've blatantly broken the law."

I remained silent…he was telling the truth. Honestly, what could I say?

"You're looking and 20 years minimum in prison. You're a young girl, but that's the bulk of your life- your best years. You're going to lose all of that, Miss Archer."

I still didn't say anything. Unfortunately, I had thought about all of this already.

"Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't throw you in jail right now."

I shrugged. "I don't have one."

He glared at me for a moment. "You do understand the severity of these charges."

"Perfectly, it's just…" I was so tired at that moment- I almost wanted to confess to it all so they could lock me up and I could get some sleep. I looked up at him.

"I'm not a criminal, but I'm aware I was involved in criminal activity."

He seemed thoroughly confused by my complacent cooperation. "Okay," He opened the folder he brought with him and flipped to a particular page.

"What do you have to say about your assault on Mr. Oswald Cobblepot?"

I looked up to him. "What?"

"He says you shot him first with a gun, and then with a tranquilizer dart."

Well that was only half true… "He reported me? But he's a criminal…"

"Miss Archer, Oswald Cobblepot is a well-respected businessman,"

"Do well respected businessmen have serial killers as their employees?"

"What are you referring to?"

"Tally marks…" I shook my head. "Victor Zsasz, he works for Cobblepot."

"Victor Zsasz, the serial killer that marks his body for each of his victims?"

"Yes,"

"Well that's interesting, because Victor Zsasz has been dead for two…three years now."

I shook my head. Something wasn't right. "No, he's very much alive. I have a cut on my chest to prove it." Well I did stab him…there was the possibility he was dead now. But I tried to focus on the conversation at hand.

"A cut on your chest?"

"That's right."

"Are you sure that wasn't inflicted by the other serial killer you've been keeping company with- The Joker? From what I understand he's pretty fond of knives."

"No, it was Victor Zsasz."

"That's impossible, I was there, and I saw the body. It was after Fear Night- he died in his escape from Arkham."

"I'm telling you, he works for Oswald Cobblepot. Oswald supposedly hired him to find the Joker."

"And why would Mr. Cobblepot want to find the Joker?"

I sighed. "To find Batman. He wanted to know who Batman was."

"Miss Archer, if Mr. Cobblepot wanted to find the Joker it was only because he understands the importance of a safe city, of justice."

"No, he wanted to find out who Batman was."

Bullock smirked. "Your story is just full of interesting characters."

"It's all the truth." I stared at him dryly.

"You know what I think the truth is?" He asked as he folded his arms and leaned forward on the table. "I think that a pretty young psychopath charms our old commissioner into thinking she's some kind of prey. I think you used your feminine wiles to convince everyone that you're the victim. When in truth you're the one running around with the Joker killing everyone you feel like."

"That's a preposterous and sexist assumption."

"What about Officer Shive, remember him?"

My heart sunk.

"A 30 year man, commendations for bravery…was involved in a case about ten years back. There's this girl, she's pretty- young, a lot like you…"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"She got mad at her daddy…I don't know why, maybe he didn't get her the right Barbie on her birthday."

"Stop it." I could take anything else, but not this. I'd spent years trying to overcome no one believing me. He was taking this too far.

"So she burns down her daddies' business, while daddy is inside."

"That's not what happened."

Bullock shrugged. "I don't know, maybe you killed him before you burned it down."

"I didn't kill my father. I told the police- there were three men…"

"Yes, just like Oswald Cobblepot is a blue-collar criminal- and a dead serial killer cut you on the chest."

I felt as if I were going to break down. I didn't know what emotion to settle on- anger or sadness. Both were eating away at me.

"Look, if you're going to charge me, charge me. I'm done talking. I'm not about to rehash the most painful memory in my life."

"The truth hurts, doesn't it?"

"No, if the truth were known, I think I might actually be at peace. Now lock me up, I'm sick of talking to someone that doesn't have the intelligence to see what's going on around him. But, in all likelihood you're corrupt as well. So I suppose there's no more need for me to exercise civility."

"Girly, I'm…"

"You know I've been threatened more times in the past few weeks than I have in my entire life…and it's been by people far more intimidating than you. So lock-me-up." I glared at him. It was true; I did feel above all of this in a way. Maybe that was in part because of the Joker; he'd somehow convinced me that this law this system of our society was pointless. But maybe it was also because he had no right to bring up my father.

Harvey Bullock sighed and shut his folder. He looked over to the one sided window and gave whoever it was a nod. "Well, that's the thing. We were going to lock you up- and then we realized that we forgot to put your paperwork in the database, so…you're not even officially here."

I didn't know where he was going with this, but I didn't like the sound of it.

"You're quite the capricious little criminal- but frankly we've got much bigger fish to fry- namely, primarily your clown boyfriend…So, what we're going to do is transfer you to somewhere he's sure to attempt to retrieve you from."

"Where is that?"

Bullock smacked his lips and scooted out from his chair as he stood up.

"Arkham." He smiled and swiftly walked towards the door.

"You can't do this, it's against the law, I have to be tried in court…"

"You have no respect for the law, why should we?" Bullock shrugged. "Besides, a little psychopath like you, you'll fit right in."


	10. Fight Them Soft

**Chapter Ten: Fight Them Soft **

I was warm…sweaty even. This was peculiar because it was cold as the dickens outside. Something was draped over my entire body, like, a heavy blanket. And someone was pulling it down off of me. When the light hit my covers I looked at it. It was a curtain, a theater curtain piece. She'd at least tucked me in after putting me to sleep…

I had a gun in my hand, but Janie- always promoting lesser violence had given me a tranquilizer. She probably had my real one, wherever she was. Needless to say I was a little disappointed in her. I looked up at Zsasz, my waker-upper. He was staring down at me in confusion.

"Why are you still alive?" I voiced aloud. "You disappeared after Janie stabbed you."

"I never left." Tally Marks was all puny looking. (More than usual) He grabbed his stomach with one hand.

"...Managed to make it to the men's room before I passed out. Heard a lot of commotion…but I had to tend to the gaping wound on my person." An all too smug sneer spread across his face as I stood up. "What are you doing here minus your disloyal cohort? She ran off with the Bat, didn't she?"

I stood up and shot Zsasz three times with the tranq-gun. The darts were just enough force to make him stumble backwards and trip over a bunch of music stands. Maybe he'd bleed out and never wake up, hopefully- one can dream. I really would've liked to kill him not so softly, but I had a more interesting a person that deserved creative punishment.

I looked at Janie's watch- it never kept the right time. It was also a consistent reminder that she really hadn't ever been a convenient hobby…quite the opposite, in fact.

The stage had been washed up-completely. I had killed a few of Cobblepot's men, but you would never tell. Everything was clean as a whistle, or whatever. That meant that Cobblepot was alive. Well, of course he was.

-Batman was present so Janie didn't want to disappoint him. In all my days I'd never known a woman to simultaneously have such great and awful taste in men. Me oh my, where had she gone off with him this time?

…

It didn't take me long to figure it out that Bats didn't have her anymore. All I had to do was flip on a television, read a newspaper, or get on the internet. They didn't have a picture of her, but her name was plastered everywhere.

KNOWN JOKER ACCOMPLICE PUT IN ARKHAM

JANE ARCHER…BLAH BLAH BLAH

That was fast. I mean, they sure didn't bother with a trial. But I didn't think he would. When I say he, I mean Harvey Bullock. Yes, I know all about him. Gotham has a lot of crooked cops, but Harvey's as circuitous as they come.

A few years back he was a runner for Falcone's men. He would facilitate that certain shipments didn't get tampered with and various errands of that nature. If my memory serves, he even tried to take Gordon's job back in the day. He tried framing Gordon a couple of times with no avail. Oh, the irony. But then, _suddenly_ he decides to turn a new leaf, publically. We probably have Bats to thank for that…he has his nose in everything- but I digress.

Bullock might have the populace fooled with his whole crooked cop gone straight routine but I know different. A lion does not trade his zebra for mangos. A shark does not stop eating fish and try kelp. These animal analogies aren't working. The point is- A tiger doesn't change his stripes. That's the one!

Harvey Bullock deals in brash tactics. He's a get it done and move on kind of guy. That's a customary quality I find in cops. There's not much variety I'm afraid. They always did exactly what I thought they would do. It's all very disappointing as well as insulting. It was time that Harvey and I had a little chat.

…

As usual I was right. Some people would get tired of constantly being smarter than everyone- but I quite enjoy it. But they make it too easy- the predictability of human nature. The guy may have taken a shot at being an honest cop, but that just meant he had to assert his iniquity itches elsewhere. He meets his mistress lady friend at the Neverglade Motel on a semi-daily basis.

Establishments like the Neverglade are why I love Gotham. There are just too many places like it- the city is overcrowded, overpopulated. It's just too big and expensive to modernize places like this. Motels like this are usually owned by screwed-in-the-head war veterans or retired bookies. They believe in a restrained and unobtrusive attitude towards their clientele. Sort of- don't ask don't tell. This is also why it was so easy for me to slip in the back undetected… steal a room key and walk right in. Harvey was smoking a cigarette and watching TV as he rubbed his bloated belly. Eww. He looked over to me and my men as his concubine screamed and pulled up her tacky negligée. Janie would look odd like in something like that- ridiculous really, it's beneath her. Well, she would just flat out refuse to wear it… Now costumes would be okay…she might do that if I really nudged her…but I'd just assume her be naked, with my mark all on her- whatever I decided that would be. Makeup…blood?

"Do you love your life, Harvey?"

"This isn't my wife." He corrected nervously.

"I know," I took a beat and then gave the girl one in the head.

"Jesus Christ!" Harvey's cigarette fell out of his mouth onto the bed as he fumbled across it. He grabbed the woman in his arms and held her in his lap on the floor. I picked up his cigarette and dabbed it out on the nightstand. Some people are so careless.

"You're going to pay for that." He spoke as he looked up at me.

"No I'm not. And you should count yourself lucky I didn't just put another in your head. You've managed to thoroughly tick me off, Harvey."

"You won't get away with this…"

"Now, let's not be cliché. And let's also be realistic. Of course I'll get away with this. But you on the other hand, you were never going to get away with taking my girl…"

Harvey stared up at me. He was a vengeful man. You could see it in his eyes. He wanted to kill me right then and there.

"Tell me, aside from your proclivities for cheap, stupid women, do you love your wife, Harvey?"

He was silent. He just stared at me.

"An agape mouth is not an answer."

"Yes, I do love her." He spoke quietly. The police officer decorum started to reappear. He put the woman's body on the floor and brought himself up to the bed.

"Good because I have her and your two boys in a storage locker downtown. I bet you can't guess which one…there are far too many."

Harvey was silent. I sat down next to him.

"What did you honestly think would happen? What?" I giggled as I nudged his side. "You thought that I wasn't going to get the upper hand? It's what I do; it's what I'm good at. And let's be honest. I've outmaneuvered better Commissioners than you, quite recently."

"What do you want?"

"You took something that belongs to me."

"You're not getting the girl."

"Oh yes I am."

"It's the only leverage we've ever had over you. Why the fuck would we let her go?"

"I don't know who this "we" is. This is between you, me, and my Cherry you've locked up in my old stomping grounds."

"She stays right where she is. But I'm not one to get in the way of love- you'll soon join her."

"Love?" I chuckled. Love had nothing to do with Janie and me…

"Where is my family?"

"Now, now, you'll get them back-But only if you cooperate."

Harvey had some years on him. His rough face was greasy and thick. It was wide- he had that alcoholic nose. It was the kind where you could see the veins and very visible pores. He took a shallow breath.

"She's at Arkham now. There's nothing I can do about it."

Truth be told- I was losing my taste for these types of interrogations. I wanted to do something bigger, something more exciting. These intimate one on one tête-à-têtes were losing their enjoyment.

I sighed as I laid back on the bed. "You see, Harvey- I've been doing this for a while. I know how it goes. So let's fast forward to the part where you tell me which one of your boys you love more- and I'll kill the other one."

He looked over at me like I had just threatened to kill his family- oh wait!

"I get it, Harvey." I sat up and put my arm and around his shoulder. "You slept with this broad to chase away loneliness- it helps you forget. But truthfully we all live in a one-by-one box of bone no other party can penetrate or know." I paused for a moment, seeing if he'd get the reference. Of course, he didn't…

"I don't want my family to die."

"Oh, of course you don't. But sometimes innocent people pay the price of the wicked."

"No," His voice was coarse. "No, this is between you and me. It doesn't have to go beyond that." He straightened his shoulders. "What do you want me to do?"

I must say, I was impressed. This was going very well as interrogations go…I looked down at the woman's body. I wanted to stretch my legs out, but she was in the way.

"Go put her in the bathtub." I told my men. They did so quite swiftly. Harvey watched with an uncomfortable frown across his face- trying not to be phased by it.

He sighed. "I don't have clearance to just check her out. Security has increased three times because, well you're right. My plan was to lure you in. There's no way…"

"There's always a way," I corrected.

"Then, what is it you…"

"I want you to take me in."

Bullock flashed me an incredulous glance. "Turn you in?"

"Take me in; turn me in…whatever's your poison. Look, you cuff me, book me, and do whatever it is you have to do to make yourself look like the hero."

"Then, then what else?"

"What do you mean?"

"What, how do I get my family?"

"Oh that, well- you might get to see them again if you do everything I say."

"That's what I'm fucking asking! What do I have to do?"

"Calm down, Bullock. It's not like I'm asking you to cut your arm off. All I want is for you to call my doctor, Frank Hines. Tell him, I want him to know I'm coming."

"Your doctor?"

"Uh huh, my shrink." I scratched some sticky stuff off of my gun.

"Your doctor at Arkham?"

"How many doctors do you think I have? Yes, tell him- I'll need an immediate session. That's the condition of my surrender."

Bullock's face changed. It was like the look people gets on their face when they find out they get a severance package for being laid off- that tiny glimmer of hope. "Wait, surrender?"

"I'm turning myself in."

He shook his head. "No one would ever believe that."

"Why would I care about what anyone believes? It's what I've decided, and it's what I'm doing. I'm not going to waste my time with semantics. You can tell them you caught me. Whatever gets you all worked up- just get it all done in the next two hours."

"Two hours, is that how long…my family…?" He mumbled nervously.

"Well I wouldn't want to find out what happens if you don't get it done by then."

"And you promise you won't kill them."

"I promise I won't kill all of them…I've got to give you some incentive."

"No," He spoke adamantly. "I want your word."

"What word?"

"You won't kill any of them. They all live if I do this…"

"How about one of them lives? Don't push your luck; it all depends on how well you perform."

With a defeated sigh, he reluctantly nodded as he pulled out his phone.

"Alright, anything else?" He asked sarcastically as I stood up. I pursed my lips and shot him in the leg. He let out an exaggerated scream.

I went to the bathroom and smoothed out my hair in the mirror. I took some water in my hand and scooped some up to my mouth. I swooshed it about a bit as I watched my cheeks alternate turns with the water. I spit it out and let out a contented sigh. I wondered if Janie regretted the decisions she had made- especially concerning the company she was keeping. I wondered how she was fairing... I'll reckon she was a little angry- she doesn't like mass attention like I do.

…

Bullock did a sloppy job of patching up his leg. But he managed to cuff me after he called two squad cars for backup. They promptly escorted me to Arkham. It was like a parade and I was the float with the good candy. Everyone was staring at me in awe as I walked down the procession. I rattled as I walked- chains on my feet and cuffs on my wrists. I had four cops circle me as I we approached the gates. To the right there were more cops- some I recognized and some I didn't. They clapped and cheered for Harvey as we walked by. The flood lights were on so I almost missed him, but Gordon was there. He wasn't clapping. He had a leery and suspicious look about his face. He was the only smart one. I saw him standing at the end of the convoy with a bandaged arm and sling. I gave him a wink as Dr. Arkham finished signing the release papers. He gestured and four security guards opened the gates.

"Welcome back," Dr. Arkham gave me a non-committal type smile- the type you just want to cut right off.

Honestly, I'd never paid Jeremiah Arkham any mind. His title of "Dr." was just about as official as Burger "King." He never took to actually assisting any patients. Jeremiah fancied himself much more suited for business administration. Since his uncle died, the hospital's profits skyrocketed. This was because of his legendary budget cuts. Upon taking over- he fired a lot of staff but kept the same amount of patients. He fired a lot of the Doctors that had been there and hired new ones- ones willing to work for less money and longer hours. All in all, corruption remained wholly the same. The only difference was the unusually high amount of doctors who ultimately became patients. The younger or inexperienced ones are particularly susceptible. It's a fine line…

"You'll find that this time your stay will be quite longer." He spoke as we walked towards the main entrance. "We don't know how you got out last time, but security has been increased."

I grinned.

"Now as you know we'd typically get you re-acclimated. But Dr. Hines has insisted upon an immediate session. He believes this is crucial in beginning your recovery." He stared back at me, waiting for a response.

I was silent.

"Well then, you've missed dinner and you'll have to be taken straight to your cell after your session. No more trips to the cafeteria either. No silverware, no shoelaces, not even a toothpick. I think you'll find that we've tightened things up a bit and no one is going to fall for your antics anymore. Our only goal is your healing and rehabilitation."

I don't exactly know why he was telling me all of this again. The second part was verbatim what he had said last time.

He eventually gave up on waiting for a reply and he gestured for the guards to escort me to my therapy session.

Frank hadn't changed a bit. I'm not the best with time- But I know it hadn't been that long though since I'd seen him last... It's funny how Janie is such an integral disturbance in my life now- and just a few weeks ago she didn't exist. Oh well…

The guards sat me down on the chair in Frank's office. Frank was sitting at his desk opposite of me. His fingers were laced together and his chin rested upon them. He nodded to security as they shut the door and stood outside on guard.

"So, how've you been?" He asked a little shakily. I laughed. It was such a casual thing to say…

"Where are they keeping Janie?"

Frank furrowed his brow. "Who?" He quickly corrected himself. "Oh, your new friend. She's safe. I'm afraid you're not going to be able to…"

"Where is she?"

"Look, I…" He looked to the door and lowered his voice. "I almost lost my job. Everything could have fallen apart if they found out I helped you."

"How's Vanessa?"

_Rule #1 of making someone think you care- ask them personal questions._

He straightened back in his chair. "I shouldn't talk to you about personal matters."

"Come on, Frank. Tell me. I know if you're still working here you must still be together. Why else would you work here with all of these hypocrites?" I didn't know how much longer I could politely manipulate him. While he was deciding whether or not to spill the beans, I was thinking of bashing his head in with his paperweight.

"She thinks I'm too paranoid." He took his reading glasses off and threw them on the table. Here we go-

"She caught me sifting through her emails. She says I need to move on."

"Dames," I started, really not knowing where to go with it. I always dealt with those types of problems head on- or at least, I think I would. If Janie was with someone else, I'd just kill him- or her, or both of them. That way she wouldn't be with anybody. Problem solved!

"…And it's just the lies, I can't take the lies."

Apparently I'd missed something. But it didn't matter. "Yeah, lies are bad. Say Frank- what if I were to tell you I had a permanent solution to your situation? Hmm?"

He took a moment, but quickly began shaking his head furiously. "No, no I love Vanessa. I couldn't hurt her."

"I'm talking about David- her lover-your so-called best friend. What if he were to disappear, permanently? You certainly wouldn't have to worry then. She'd have no temptation. And you wouldn't have to be sifting through her emails. I mean, you've got to admit that's a little sleazy."

"Are you saying…?"

"You know exactly what I'm saying."

Frank's eyes wandered down to his desk. He stared at in silence, contemplation. "I couldn't."

"I could. You wouldn't have to."

His beady eyes found their way to mine. Well, that didn't take long. He must really love Vanessa…

…

The guards came in a few moments later. Hines had kindly liberated me from my restraints. I stabbed the first with a letter opener in the throat- took his gun and shot the other three. I ducked back into Hines' office and flicked off the lights. Frank tossed me his keys and looked at me before he took a breath.

"Okay, don't take this personal- but I've got to make this look convincing…" Plus, he was way too whiny… Frank nodded and I decked him in the face. He obviously led a mostly sedentary life- Frank didn't know how to take a punch. He clumsily stumbled out into the hallway and fell down. I slipped back into the shadows.

I heard numerous footsteps running down the hallway. The good doctor moaned wearily and said I took off down the west hall. They ran past him while one stayed behind to help him up. They wobbled to the infirmary.

That was my cue. After they disappeared, I went the opposite direction, pulling the panic alarm in the hall as I passed it. I didn't need to- but I really loved the sound of mayhem- the alarm helped with the overall atmosphere- the ambiance of the evening.

Frank didn't know where Janie was. Apparently she wasn't even in the database. I didn't believe him, but then he showed me. That was frustrating. This was a lot of work considering I was still considering killing her when I found her.

She wasn't sitting around playing Ping-Pong in elementary. She wasn't coloring. I smiled a bit. I kind of liked the fact she was in the hall of horrors. Isolation would have given here plenty of time to think about everything she had done to me.

I put in Frank's clearance code and took out three more guards. I sat the station guard's body back up in his chair so any passerby wouldn't get suspicious.

The hallway was dark. Lights only came on in the area of the hallway I walked through. I couldn't find the manifest so I'd have to check each one individually. That would be fun…

To my irritation the first twelve were empty. I guess I had just always assumed the rooms around me were full. But let's be honest- real talent is rare, I am rare. And I didn't really care they were empty. I mean, why would I?

Finally there was someone in thirteen. A surly fellow with uni-brow…was he Puerto Rican? I'm probably just making that up…I gave him a nod and left his door open for him. He emerged a few seconds later and grunted. I turned around.

"What, oh that guard's dead." I assured him. "Why don't you take his gun and kill some people?" I encouraged in the friendliest of manners. Gorilla man grunted happily and continued out the corridors.

The next room was empty, but it was ripped to shreds. The squishy walls were all tattered and fuzz and fabric were everywhere. I guess they were keeping animals now. I shook my head and went on to the next one.

I chuckled.

"What brings you here, Clown?" Crane spoke in a monotone voice. He was nestled against the wall wrapped lovingly in his straight jacket with his knees to his chest. If I were a doctor- I might put a jacket on Gorilla Guy, but Crane? Seriously? The guy's only a tad bit taller than Janie…and without his little kooky spray he posed little or no threat to their society…other than being irritating and sanctimonious… and had he ever killed anybody? Honestly, I think the only reason he'd even stayed in Arkham was because of his and Jeremiah's bromance. They were peas in a pod before Crane started euthanizing the brains of his patients with his flower spray. Jeremiah probably kept him here in hopes that Dr. Crane would someday return to just that- his old pal and colleague.

"Don't flatter yourself." I corrected and shut the door on him. He belonged in there, boring as he was.

The next door was my old room. I took a beat. It would be fortuitous if she were in there. I threw it open in attempts to shock here if she were.

I frowned. No one. I growled as I slammed it shut. I went back up to the watch station and used the computer to open the rest. I had no patience for this. All of the doors promptly opened. Four men stepped out. Yes- men…no Janie.

I was getting angry. I was tired of Arkham now. I wanted to get the Cherry and get out. But it was not happening like I wanted it to. I stepped out of the watch station and looked in the remaining rooms just to be sure. No sign. The four men just stared at me in confusion. I pointed to their exit.

"There's some weapons- go forth and spread the word of panic!" I flipped my hand in annoyance. I wasn't their keeper. Since when did I become such a nice guy?

If she wasn't here, and she wasn't in Elementary, then, where was she? I started walking out when Crane started murmuring again.

"You're not going to find her."

I seethed as I took in a deep breath. That smarmy little scarecrow knew something. I knew where this was going. I took a beat then went back to his cell. He looked up to me and smiled.

"She's here but they're hiding her. I can help you get to her."

"What do you want, Mr. Crane?"

"It's Doctor," He pithily corrected. I grinned a bit. I hate people like that. But I love getting under their skin.

"That's wonderful, but it doesn't answer my question."

"Firstly, I want to get out of this jacket. Second, I want to get out of this hospital."

"You're not staying with me."

"I'll manage just fine once I'm out. I just need help getting out. There's no way our partnership goes beyond that. As if I'm going to consort with a psychopathic serial killer who dresses up like a clown."

_Says the Scarecrow-_ At least I'm honest about my work. I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to help him. But his knowledge of the hospital would certainly speed things along. He looked up to me with his creepy, placid eyes. I wasn't sure whether or not I could trust him. But alas, he was right- me= serial killer. I could always just kill him…

I cut the straps on his jacket off. Crane stood up and shook himself a bit. After a few moments he looked at me. "First I need to get my mask."

The patient locker was of course off limits to the patients…it really should be called, "Things we stole from our patients locker." It's crazy. I pocketed a couple of my old knives while I was in there. Crane picked up his itchy looking face sack and spray bottle and we were on our way.

"Hey, you can't be back…" SPRAY ! I'll admit, it was kind of funny. Crane was a little trigger happy with his fear juice. I giggled as the orderly squirmed about and started screaming. There were suddenly several gunshots and screams in the distance. I smiled. It's nice when people just follow suit- I caused a riot yet I didn't have to rally. But alas, enough was enough.

"Alright, Crane. I need to get Janie."

He shot me a strange look. "You know, I've seen your psych profile several times. I find myself curious, just what is your attachment to her?"

I was beginning to wonder if I could resist the temptation to rip out his Adam's apple. But I kept walking down the hall.

"I had her as a student, you know."

I stopped in my tracks. Crane stopped and looked towards me in confusion.

"Had who as a student?"

"Jane."

"Don't call her that."

"What, her name?" Crane scoffed. "Honestly, even you _have _to see that your infatuation is unreasonable. I can't even say her name? You realize that type of behavior makes it impossible for anyone to even carry on a conversation with you."

I wasn't going to apologize for that. He didn't get to talk about her. But concurrently, I was also curious as to what he had to say.

"What do you mean you had her as a student?" I needed him to clarify before I killed him.

"At Gotham University I was an Associate Professor a few years ago before I dedicated my time fully to my patients and research. She was in my General Psych class as a freshman."

This was interesting. It really is a small world. But I had a feeling he just wasn't making conversation. "You're telling me this for a reason…"

"She was a bright girl. Always made the best grades- albeit it was only general psych…But her mind is stronger, sharper than most."

"What's your point, Crane?"

"My point is I don't understand why she's with you. She's far too intelligent to attach herself to someone so unstable."

I don't understand people- you help them out and give them a hand and they still are discourteous.

"Crane," I guess my tone was serious enough. He turned around and glanced at me. "Don't make me kill you. And trust me, I have no problem with it- but frankly it would presently be inconvenient."

He nodded slightly, barely at all. But he seemed to understand.

"Now, where's Janie?"

Crane pursed his lips. "I'm not sure."

"You're not _sure_?" I pressed my hand to my knife in my lapel, pulling it out. What did I even bring him along for?

"I can hack into the database and find her."

"Hines already tried that…she's not."

"Hines is an idiot and a hack. Besides, he doesn't have access to it…" Crane smirked. "She's not in the main holdings, or the one reserved for the violent offenders- such as yourself. She must be in the South block…"

I furrowed my brow. The South block was never listed as an official wing, and it was never listed for a reason. That's where they did the experimental treatments- the isolation wing. I should know. It was designed for me.

…

Frank Boles has worked security here as long as I can remember. He's also been drunk as long as I can remember. He was so drunk, he didn't hear me come right behind him and bash him on the head.

Crane was somewhat useful. He took to typing away on the computer and soon enough, found a layout of the cell block.

Several guards came up. I shot three and stabbed one. Crane got two. He was more agile and stronger than I thought. But killing guards is too easy, really- I'm quite lucky to live in Gotham. None of the guards ever attempt a kill shot. I find it makes matters simpler.

She's in Holding Four. I'll get it open…"

I looked down the hallway impatiently. "Anytime now…"

"I'd remind you that patience is a virtue, but I'm almost certain you're incapable of virtue."

"And you're practices on your patients are ethical? Don't pretend you're above me, Scarecrow."

A loud buzzing sound echoed and the cell doors opened. I would have continued my debate, but I really didn't care. I walked down the hall to her room.

And there she was. Her wild hair was all sprawled out on the pillow with her right hand lying on top of all of it next to her face. She just laid there silent for a few moments, blank and impassive. I sat on the side of the bed next to her. Abruptly, she took my lapel and yanked me down- I allowed it.

Janie kissed me, I let her. Her legs wrapped around me. I felt her left hand on the back of my neck. Well, this was all very curious. It was the least she could do after making me come and get her.

Comparatively, I had too many clothes on. Her skin was pressing against me, but I couldn't feel it through all those darn layers…

But I was still angry with her; (I reminded myself) I pulled myself up and pushed her back down a little forcefully into the bed. She furrowed her brow in protest. I grinned in triumph. She looked adorable in her scrubs as she pouted-adorable-

She had some sort of IV needle stuck into her arm. I took off the tape and pulled it out. She pulled herself up a bit and rested on the wall behind the bed.

"They think I'm crazy," She finally spoke in a low, emotionless voice.

"Of course they do, they're psychiatrists. They think that everyone is crazy- aside from themselves. Then they try and rid us of the "insanity" of critical thinking." I grabbed her other wrist and held it up, she was all bruised…again.

"Did they beat you up?"

She looked at her wrists. "That's from the needles. I'm a tough stick."

"Needles?"

"Are you here to rescue me?" Her voice was low, but hopeful.

"I was considering it, amongst other possibilities."

Janie nodded, understanding perfectly well. "That's why I'm here, what they brought me here for-they're using me as bait to catch you."

That plan was never going to work out. "Well, I'm here but I'm too smart for them."

"I know," she smiled weakly as she complimented. "I missed you."

"You shot me with a tranquilizer gun."

"Can you make me pay for it later? I just want to get out of here."

"You need to make up your mind, Doll. Right now."

She looked up to me with her doughy, dark eyes.

"I'll give you thirty seconds. And you know that's me being patient."

"Joker, it's always been you." She spoke almost instantly. Janie laughed and shook her head- I guess in spite of her statement that followed. "This is- it's all been me trying to fight it. God help me…but, I do want you. I've told you that before. The problem is- I don't know if I'm capable of becoming what you want me to become. I'm not a killer, but I'm numb to the fact that you kill others to the point where I overlook it. I'm just one very fucked up individual. But to answer your question, yes. I want to be with you to the point of absurdity, it's senseless and I'm stupid for feeling anything for you..." She was quiet for a moment. I was about to speak but she beat me to it.

"But, I chose you over all of them. I'm with you. Fuck, everyone already knows I am anyway. I seem to be the only person that keeps pretending I'm not."

Well, that was an answer. And, even though the answer was positive- I was still irritated with her. Maybe even more so than before… It's hard to explain. It's like she always took the wind out of my gripes and arguments. She always knew the right thing to say to cover all her tracks. And I hated her for it. But, consecutively I liked it. It was what I'd come to expect from her. She was still entirely duplicitous and no one was ever going to make her otherwise…except maybe me- I could try. I could do it. God I hated her…and wanted her, and hated her.

Before I could say anything, she had a hold of me again. Her body seemed to be gravitating towards mine like a magnet. She sat herself in my lap and tugged at my jacket. "I mean it all, now, let's have sex." Janie spoke decidedly. She was starting to get frisky. Her hands were wondering all over the place.

I chuckled a bit; she was really going above and beyond with her affection proclamation. It was hard to resist- so I didn't. I pushed her back to the bed, feeling her- adhering to her generous regards.

For a moment she squeezed her eyes shut in pain. She brought her hand up and grabbed her forehead.

"What's wrong, now you've got a headache?"

"I do, but sex helps headaches." She assured me with a persistent peck. "It's just they gave me a bunch of drugs; they make me thirsty, itchy, and… drugged."

I giggled. "What kind of drugs?"

-"3-quinuclidinyl benzilate, temazepam, and a robust amount of sodium thiopental…A truth serum cocktail." Crane interjected as he walked in the room. He was holding a chart I assume was Janie's. "They were attempting some sort of, narcosynthesis method probably as a form of interrogation technique to get information."

I growled and sat up. I pulled Janie up by her waist and sat her behind me.

"Dr. Crane?" She spoke wearily, and then she looked at me.

"Jane." He nodded and clenched his jaw. I didn't like the way he looked at her- the casual way he said her name…Luckily for him he quickly reverted back to his professional persona. Crane was such a kook.

"How long have they been giving you these drugs?" He asked while looking at her chart.

"Um, a couple of hours…well," She spoke tiredly. "What time is it?"

Crane and I both looked at each other. Up until about 20 minutes ago he was a patient, and I was wearing a broken watch.

Janie shrugged. "It doesn't matter I guess."

"It does," Crane corrected. "You could possibly be experiencing agitation- psychomotor agitation…an excess of other side effects as well."

"I don't have any tension or urges for repetitive motion. I just have a headache. I think I'll be fine."

"You remembered my lectures." He smiled.

"She had lots of other behavioral science classes aside from yours, don't get smug." That was enough of his hullaballoo. It was time to part ways with the Doctor/Scarecrow.

"I watched the tapes," He spoke as he ignored my words. "They were rough with you…physical."

I looked back to Janie. Suddenly feeling like protective Joker again. I went to flip on the light. Most noticeably, her cheek had a red and purple crescent bruise on it. I put my finger on it and traced its outline. It was like a mini, bloody moon. She squinted as it must have been tender.

"Which ones? What are their names?"

"They beat me up, Joker. They didn't break my spirit."

"Are we still doing this, Janie? Are we still trying to protect them?"

"No, I'm just saying that if you're going after them, I'm going too."

I smiled. "That a girl." I couldn't be any prouder. "We'll kill them, don't worry, Doll." I suddenly said with great conviction, surprising myself. But if anyone was supposed to punish her and get angry it would be me…not some cops or doctors.

I grinned as I handed her a knife.

"That's really not a good idea."

"It's really none of your concern, that is, unless you want to be her first victim." I politely informed him. "Janie, you can kill who and whatever you want, especially if it's Crane."

"I'm saying, with that amount of drugs flowing through her, she doesn't even know what she's saying. Like her wanting to have sex with you, it's not exactly an opportune time for coitus."

Right then and there, in that defining moment, I was convinced that Crane was a virgin.

"What?" I laughed. "She missed me. And what's so wrong with her being all hot and bothered?"

"Look where we are. This isn't the time…She doesn't have a clue what she's saying or doing. Sorry, I just refuse to believe that she would consort with you if she weren't drugged. Her mind is too strong, she's too logical."

I was going on the aggressive again. He noticeably had some penchant for Janie. For Crane, "mind" and "logic" were dirty, sexy words. They were his G-spots. That's what he valued and admired. Whether it was sexual or not- it was personal…intimate.

Crane was silent now, but I saw the glint in his eye. That was entirely enough of that…

I was about to strangle him, but we suddenly heard the corridors open. In a rush there were police upon us. Police now, not guards- they'd obviously caught wise that this was all my doing. It was time for the fun to begin. Crane jumped up and pulled his mask over his face. He managed to spray two of them but four more poured in.

I hadn't noticed, but Janie had stood up and was standing at my side.

"Are you ready to get out of here?"

"Please." She spoke simply.

"Okie dokie then- just stand close, or, not too close, you might get stabbed or shot. I get a little excited."

Janie slid her hand inside my jacket along my chest. _Oh my_, she then pulled a bigger knife from my inner pocket and replaced it with the one I had given her- oh darn.

And with that- bloodbath. None of my blood of course, or Janie's. Crane also helped out a bit. But he bothered me to no end so I didn't feel like giving him any credit.

After ten minutes or so of running through the place- it was getting to the point where there were very few people to kill. I mean, I'm sure the cops were swarming around outside but that wasn't the point.

"How were you planning on getting us out of here? Or is your plan to just kill everyone in sight?"

"Why is that a bad strategy? But let's be truthful, Crane. You weren't originally a participant of this enterprise."

"But you do have a way out?"

"We're on our way out. We'll get there eventually."

Crane sighed. "The entire place is surrounded by now, and you're telling me you don't have a plan?"

We all ducked at the sound of gunshots…well, this was new. I dragged Janie and myself behind a receptionist desk. I peeked out from the side.

Wouldn't you know it…? I stood up and raised my arms out in surrender mode. "Hey, I let you guys out, remember?" The group of four all looked at each other and nodded.

"You know how to get out of here?" A short, twitchy inmate asked.

"Yeah, the front doors should be clear."

The men nodded and quickly ran off. So, so stupid… I laughed as I turned around. "Seriously?" Bullock had shown up and he had Janie with a gun to her head. Crane was nowhere in sight. "Cherry, you've got to stop getting yourself in this situation."

"I held up my deal, now, where are they?" Harvey spat.

"You're not going to find out by threatening my girl, Harvey."

"No I think I will. I'm going to take your little psychopath-in-training here and put her in Blackgate. Try getting her out there…Really it's where you both belong. I'm sick of this rehabilitation shit. There's no rehabilitation for you-or any of you psychos."

"Well, you've got that right. We are who we are…isn't that right, Kesha?" I asked Kesha but she wasn't there, thank God. "But you're not getting out of here with Janie."

Janie laughed, she knew I was funny. But Bullock was silent for a moment, mulling it over. "You're right. So I'm going to speak your language. I will spill her brains all over the floor if you don't," Janie took the knife and stuck it deep into his leg. She pressed herself to his person and swung her body around his. She used his leg as a sort of beam to twirl behind and slide out of his grasp. Standing behind him, she kicked him to the floor. Beautiful. Blood poured out around the knife and made a teapot-shaped puddle on the tile.

I took my gun and shot him twice in the back. "Woops," I looked a little closer. "Bulletproof vest," I chided myself aloud and aimed for his head.

"I got the keys." Crane suddenly reappeared. "Let's go."

I looked up to him. "Go where? What keys?"

"The way out of here, come on, I still need your help." He looked over to Janie, and then Bullock. "Is that the new Commissioner?"

"Please," Bullock spoke coarsely- the wind obviously had been knocked out of him…by my bullets. Haha. "Please, just let my family go."

"Well I guess you'll never know if I did or not." I informed him.

"Wait," I knew when I heard those words what was coming next.

"Let it go, Janie."

"You made a deal with him…his family for me?"

"More or less."

"This sentimentality is deterring our escape, Jane." Crane asserted. For once, I agreed with him on something.

"Listen to the Doctor."

Bullock had flipped himself over now. He was looking up. "Please, just…just let them go."

Janie nodded. Apparently we made decisions together now? We'd have to talk about this later on… "Okay," She knelt down next to him and nodded- and then proceeded to smack him in the head, knocking him out. She did that.

She took her knife and pulled it out of his leg and looked up at me, then Crane.

"Which way?"

I looked to Crane, who seemed okay with everything. He gestured for us to follow him down the south hall.

When we got to the end of it, he put his keys in the service elevator and told us to get in. He then used his keys again to take us down to the basement. Not the regular basement but the _basement_. I mean, I'm the most famous person at Arkham but I've never seen it. Way back when Arkham first opened, they said that Amadeus had used several of the patients for cheap labor. That way when the place was hitting hard times- it still could generate decent revenue. That practice to my knowledge is still going on, but for various reasons I don't think they'd use me for that particular project…

"We can go out through the water tunnels. They exit in the west Narrows."

Just like my apartments…Crane and I thought a little alike in some small ways.

The basement was huge and dark. An old- industrial revolution dirty factory feel. And the doctor was right at home. He effortlessly trudged through whatever was on the concrete we were stepping on.

"This would be a hell of a lot easier with shoes."

"Oh, Janie that's such a girl thing to say." But she did have a point. I really didn't want to deal with her getting hypothermia again. "Let's stop a minute."

Crane turned around and let out a frustrated sigh. I couldn't see him, but I'm sure he was pouting as well.

I took off my jacket and put it on her. "Let's not get all loopy and start talking about horrors from our childhood."

Janie laughed. It was a good laugh, I think.

Crane was wise enough not to say anything, I got close enough to him and nodded and we continued on.

There was a huge round metal door. I assume this is the part where he needed Janie and I's help as she probably had just as much or more upper body strength than all of us combined. I started laughing when I remembered she was a butcher.

Crane tried initially by himself. I told him to move so Janie and I could also pull on the lever and open it up. Sure enough, it led to a dank, damp waterway with a rusted metal walkway in the middle. Well, I sure felt great about my drinking water.

There was a little bit of light in here. I rolled my eyes when I realized we could have just crawled under where the water flowed through- it was plenty big. I tripped Crane in spite of it. He stumbled and had to catch himself on the side railings. He deserved it.

It was freezing…Giving Janie my jacket didn't help things but at least I wasn't barefoot. It was a fair trade…The coldness I think also inhibited the chatter amongst our party. But that's okay; we eventually got to the end where there was a metal maintenance ladder that took us up to the outside.

Crane went first; his head looked in all directions when he was halfway up. I guess he didn't see anything because he went ahead and climbed the rest of the way out.

Janie followed suit and I trailed behind her. When we were out I didn't feel there was a need to linger. I took Janie's arm and we were on our way. Janie looked back once at Crane. I suppose he stood there haplessly for a few seconds before moseying off to some abandoned laboratory where he talked to a pet turtle about his experiments and how he used to be a Doctor at Arkham…but I have a vivid imagination. He probably isn't doing anything remotely that stylish.

A stole a car to get us the rest of the way to yet _another _one of my apartments and parked a few blocks away. That's what's so nice about living in the narrows- cars get stolen every day, it's entirely convenient.

We got to the apartment and I shut the door behind me. Janie turned around and stared at me, her grin only rising on the right side of her mouth.

I went up to her and took my coat off. She locked eyes with me. That was enough foreplay. I lifted her up and took her to the bed. Yes, the bed. We were finally being grown-ups about this. Those Arkham scrubs were on the floor in a flash and I really didn't bother with folding my discarded clothes either.

The lights were on so everything was in lovely fluorescent vision. She was divine and particularly captivated by my chest.

"You're like a story," she spoke in sheer fascination as she ran her hand up and over all of my battle scars.

"What are you talking about?" I laughed and shivered simultaneously. I needed to turn on the generator and get the heat going…but later Joker, later.

"It's like a map. It tells a very dark and jagged tale." She bit her lip, she's a curious one. But she quickly sent all her inquiries underneath. That was just fine, because I needed her present- here. She needed to just be here with me- completely.

Her hands worked themselves up to my shoulder blades and pulled me closer.

I tangled up her hair in my grasp and look at her. This was nice, but her fluffy, messy hair only served to remind me that she has secrets, she keeps things from me. She has feelings that she doesn't share. It was all entirely infuriating. I decided to initiate my anger by making my way inside her.

"What happened with the Batman?"

Janie lowered her brow, her breaths stifled a bit by my initial thrusts. "What?"

"Tell me."

"Why are you bringing this up now?"

"Because you need to tell me," She did, she needed to answer. It wasn't fair that she wasn't answering.

"Stop it."

"No," I challenged. "You're going to answer my questions."

Janie shot up and tried to push me off of her. I fought back but she eventually succeeded. I didn't laugh this time.

Her breathing was accelerated as she sat against the headboard. She had that look in her eye- the kind the cat gets when it's cornered and ready to pounce-it's unsure of what its provocateur is going to do.

"Tell me now." My voice must have scared her because she jumped a bit.

"I kissed him. She said immediately after. "But it wasn't," She looked down, and then back up to me. "It wasn't…I didn't sleep with him."

"You like him."

"I like you more."

"Why is it I never believe you, Janie?"

"The scary part is that it's true. And it doesn't matter anyways- you're the one that sees me. He tries to help me, but he obviously has no understanding of my true nature." She shook her head. "I don't want to talk about him anymore."

I continued to stare at her. Had I gotten what I wanted? This is yet another example or display confirming the complexities of woman psyche and its effects on the psyche of a man.

Janie lied down and moved herself under the covers. She grabbed my arm and made me come with her. She just laid there, staring at me. I guess I was staring at her too.

This is new territory. I felt intimate with her, like a lover. I'm not trying to sound pretentious. That's simply what it felt like. She brought her hand up and glided it through my hair, then ran her fingers down my cheek.

"I want to see you."

"You do."

She shook her head. "No, you don't let anyone see." She smiled. "It's not like you're the Phantom of the Opera. There's nothing to hide. You shouldn't hide."

I threw the covers off of us and dragged her behind me to the bathroom. I smacked the lever and turned the water on. I hopped in so quickly my bar of soap fell to the bottom near the drain. The steam rose rather quickly.

"Come one Janie. This is your little project." I held out my arm. She looked at me and aptly grabbed my hand and stepped in.

I quickly scrubbed with the soap. Scrubbed was too gentle a word for what I was doing. This stuff cakes on...

"Easy," Janie chided.

I stopped and gave her a sideways smile. Green, red, and black all mixed together and fell down the drain. Most of it had to be off, but I wasn't just going to do it and be done. I grabbed that girl and kissed her. It was warmer in here. I could feel the costume makeup run down our cheeks and bodies. And somehow, that prompted her to cling to me, tightly. I reciprocated. What else could I do? Well I wanted to. I could feel her chest rising and falling. We were somehow swaying a little, and did so for quite some time. I don't know how long this lasted….five minutes? An hour? But after that spell I moved back a little and stared at her. She took her thumb and removed the excess black from under my right eye.

"Is she happy now?"

Using my shoulders as balance, she stood on her tip-toes and kissed the scar on my right cheek, and then my left.

"Stop that." I moved my head back in protest.

"You stop it."

"You don't even want to know how I got them."

"I don't. Because you don't even know…I don't want you to tell me some lie."

My eyes shifted to the left. Did I remember? It didn't matter but I was unsure at that precise moment. In general psych, they say when your eyes shift to the left- that's when you access the emotional or limbic part of your brain. I don't know that because Crane taught me, I know that because I can read.

"Come back." She was calling to me. "You don't need to be searching for that." She spoke softly in an odd yet appeasing voice.

This was all thoroughly confusing, and tiring. We were still holding onto each other…On top of all of that I didn't have anything to hurt her with at the moment…but I didn't really want to.

…

The bed was warm. This apartment was quite drafty. Thank goodness I had more blankets now because of the ones I'd taken from her place. She made sure she was close enough for me to provide her ample warmth. And she wasn't an awful space heater herself.

Janie had definitely fallen asleep before me, I think.

I wonder what ever happened with Gorilla Guy?


	11. Jane's Addiction

**Chapter Eleven: Jane's Addiction**

"**It's No Good" and "Fragile Tension" by Depeche Mode mmkay? **

Joker came for me, Batman didn't. That reality had continuously run through my head throughout the duration of my stay in the asylum. I had to steady that in my mind as truth. I'll be honest, I felt a bit let down. I had saved his neck. Sure, he'd already saved mine, but where was he? Did he run off when the cops were at the school? I tried to think up excuses for him but there seemed to be none plausible enough for me to believe. Well, there was one- he thought I belonged in Arkham. Hell, I probably do. But in truth, I was okay with Batman's…Bruce's not coming to my assistance. I could throw a pity party in my mind all I wanted. But I really wasn't his problem. If anything, I deserved the lack of consideration. But that didn't explain why he didn't come to assure that Joker was locked up… I needed to let it go. He didn't owe me anything.

Besides, there was another far more painful and penetrating truth that I had to square with. Dr. Grant had to be the one that called the police at the University. No one knew where we were. So, that would mean that the person I trusted most had abandoned me. The person I thought I could always count on had thrown me to the wolves, or more accurately, the crooked staff of a corrupt mental asylum. He'd always been such a believer, an avid fan of Batman's. What spurned his betrayal?

I mean, it wasn't horrific- but my brief stint in Arkham was far from pleasant. I could tell from the very moment I was brought to its gates that they were far less concerned about my mental health and more concerned about Joker. I was simply a tool to aid in attracting, catching, and readmitting their star patient.

I was brought in by a brusque security guard and dragged down a dank, dark hallway. I looked around. The walls were an unpleasant shade of light blue. The peeling paint revealed a yellowish-tan color trying to escape from underneath. It felt just as cold inside as it did outside. Obviously there was no ventilation.

Was I frightened? Somewhat- but after all the things I had endured, well, I guess you could say that my mind and spirit had been through too much to waiver at the prospect of eerie hallways.

The guard brought me to my room. A woman doctor walked in and threw me a pair of scrubs. She pulled a compact out of her pocket and messed with her makeup and "monitored" as I undressed and redressed. I rolled my eyes. When I was finished, she took my regular clothes away somewhere. Bullock had certainly lived up to his threat- they didn't even take my name. They merely tossed me in the room and insisted that I take three pills. When I refused, a husky male doctor came in and assisted the female in holding me down as I struggled. But instead of the pills, they succeeded in sticking a needle in my arm. The last thing I saw was an unsettling grin from both of them- especially the woman. I quickly drifted out of consciousness.

When I came to, I was bound to a chair with Velcro straps. The female was gone but the male doctor was still there. He was all business. I might have sensed some reticence in him. Maybe he was ashamed of the way he was treating me? But that could have been a delusion- an effect of the drugs flowing through my veins.

And still he gave my more- he administered them through a rather large syringe. But these drugs didn't sedate me. These drugs made me giggly, emotional, and unapologetically candid. I did say things, truths, but nothing of actual consequence. He wanted to know where the Joker was- I laughed and shrugged. How would I know? When he asked what I knew about him, I only spoke of my affections - my affections and my reserve for said affections. The truths were more illuminating to me than to him.

He just kept sighing in disappointment as he stared down at his notebook. It was as if I were the key to insight on the Joker. But I just wasn't revealing anything of significance. I guess I wasn't as valuable as everyone had initially thought.

"So you don't know where he is?"

"What's the difference?" I finally asked coldly.

"Is that a serious question?"

"I've given up on being serious; it's a waste of my time. Look, you can't hold him in here. However he got out the first time," I shook my head. "He'll do it again."

"You don't know that."

"You don't know that he won't." I laughed; my confidence in Joker had seemingly strengthened under the influence of drugs.

"Look," The doctor sighed. "You seem to have strong feelings for him,"

"So it would seem."

"- which has somehow blinded you to everything else."

"What do you mean _everything else?_ There is nothing else." I stated vehemently. "You, the police- you took everything from me."

"Is that so?"

"It is,"

"So you're angry at Arkham and the police because _we _took everything from you?"

I knew where this was going; he wanted to convince me that it was all Joker's fault- that he was the one that really had taken everything from me. He was right. I swallowed. "I know if I weren't with him that I wouldn't be here. Of course it's his fault."

"Clever, Miss Archer. You followed my path of logic before I even got there."

"It wasn't difficult, it's the truth."

"Then why are you doing this? Why are you protecting him?"

I could feel angry tears swelling up in my eyes. Damn drugs.

"You know what he is, you know this is wrong. Why continue?"

"Because," It was a funny thing- not being guarded in my reactions. For the first time in a long time I felt exposed- helpless. The last time I'd felt that way was when my father died. The police had branded me a liar and juvenile delinquent. They wouldn't listen to me. On that day I'd made a promise to never let my guard down. Even if it meant lying or withholding the truth I wouldn't lose that power ever again.

Obviously that promise wasn't panning out. Here I was, unequivocally defenseless to my candor. As I said, tears were burning my eyes- which I detested. I'm not one to cry. I really should have known though- that this frenzied vortex of disordered events would purge a few tears out of me. But that's not all it was purging. The drugs forced me to speak- a compulsion I had no way of stopping.

"Before I met him, I was…dead."

"You believed you were dead?"

"No, not in physicality…I was just, numb. I had convinced myself that the path my life was on was the one I wanted to take. And it was and probably still is by many accounts."

"But?" The doctor sat patiently, waiting for me to continue.

"I was closed off. Don't get me wrong I've dated, but, I couldn't connect. But with Joker," I shook my head. "I face everything head on. He permits me to be what I need to be- without judgment or reproach. He challenges me and pushes me to be honest. He holds me accountable for the authenticity of my life. How many people have that in our society? How many people have the opportunity to embrace what they want fully? It's, cathartic."

"That's the problem though, Jane. Everything you described is wonderful. Who wouldn't want those things? But how much do other people have to pay for your happiness? Are you willing to let people die just so you can be in a relationship with him?"

"I don't condone killing for sport- Nor do I want him to kill for me."

"But you still carry on with him, knowing full well that that's exactly what he's going to do. You still choose to ignore his carnage. Why?"

"I just, I told you."

"No, you told me what you want in a partner, in a relationship. You could do that with other people. It's not unheard of to have a healthy, authentic union with someone that's not a serial killer. Why him? Why do you insist on blinding yourself to the truth?"

I could feel my heart flutter. "I'm not, I…"

"It's because you care for him. Not what you feel for him, but Joker himself." He spoke the words so casually; it took me a few moments to comprehend them.

"What?"

"You know it's wrong, Jane. You know he needs to be locked away from civilization. He's a danger to everyone, including himself. You are perfectly capable of that discernment. You know what's right and what's wrong. The only problem here is that you've fallen for him." He was silent for a moment, letting that sink into my mind. "And that's why you won't tell me where he is."

I shook my head. Thankful that we were back to questioning me concerning his whereabouts. This was a much more comfortable subject. "I really don't know where he is."

Before he could rebuke my claim, Bullock abruptly busted through the door. My mood instantly turned sour. Whatever shaky trust I had established with this doctor vanished the second I saw Bullock. I mean, I was aware that other people could have been watching and listening in. But Bullock just irritated me to no end. I hated that he had heard everything. He pulled the doctor aside but made sure to speak loud enough to where I could hear.

"He'll come, there's no need to keep grilling her. You're wasting your time. She's just a fucked up girl with severe Daddy issues."

"Fuck you." I snapped. These drugs were really helping me express my inner monologue.

The doctor ignored my outburst. Bullock gave me a sideways smirk.

"How do you mean?" The doctor asked- referring to my so called "issues."

"I'll send over her file. It's pretty interesting- a good read. She might not be the Clown, but she has a laundry list of problems…as you can already tell. She's exactly the kind of resident you shrinks want to study. She'll be an interesting patient to play with."

"Patients are people, not playthings." The doctor tersely corrected.

I scoffed. "Then stop poking needles in my arm and playing medical doctor. You're giving me medication I don't need. Treat me like a human being."

"You're a psychopath, mortality doesn't apply to you." Bullock spat. "So spare us."

I rolled my eyes. "I swear to God…"

"What?" Bullock turned to me. "What were you going to say?"

I steadied my breathing and stared at him. He wasn't even worth it.

"No please, go on with your thinly veiled threats. Show the good old Doc what a vindictive little psychopath you really are."

"That's right; the Doctor is who I'm supposed to be dealing with. So why are you still here? You have no purpose- no power. Well, other than parading around your futility."

"Futility? Well I managed to lock one of you up. That's a lot more I can say for Gordon."

"Commissioner Gordon is..."

"He_ was _the Commissioner," He quickly corrected. "Now he's just a man without a job."

"You really think anyone would want you as the Commissioner permanently? You're just an understudy. Everyone knows that."

"Listen you little bitch…"

"Bullock! You need to leave. My patient is tired, and she needs to sleep. That's enough for tonight." The doctor interjected.

"_Your _patient?" Bullock laughed. "Where has this sense of entitlement come from? Be wise to remember that you only have such a high profile case because I allow it, Cavendish."

Bullock was a bully- that was clear. But it seemed this Dr. Cavendish wasn't fazed by him.

"I don't need your help to obtain patients. This is a hospital. Do take mind you put her into our care. Yes, the patients are offenders but this institution is about healing. This woman is disturbed and I won't have you bearing a hindrance on her recovery with your attitude. So, you can either leave of your own accord or I can have security escort you."

Bullock sneered at him but quickly stormed out the door.

I smiled a little as the doctor turned back to me.

Cavendish sighed as he undid my straps and guided me to the bed.

"Now, I need to put an IV in. You've been given a lot of drugs and you need to stay hydrated. The moment you take it out- We'll strap you down and make you wear it."

"Why would I take it out? It's the only thing you've administered to me so far that is actually helpful." I was a little snappy, but I was worked up.

"I've had a lot of patients, Miss. Several of them have recovered from their disorders."

"Well that's just wonderful." I spoke dryly. He wasn't necessarily on my blacklist, but I had no interest in speaking to him anymore.

"The problem is- I'm just not very sure you have a disorder."

I lowered my brow. "Then what was the speech about me being disturbed?"

Cavendish smiled. "You are disturbed. But that doesn't mean you're insane. And unfortunately, it doesn't mean that I can help you. You know the truth, Miss Archer. You know better than to carry on the way you are. But you simply choose to overlook it. The only person that can save you is yourself- because you're not crazy, you don't belong in here."

I didn't really know how to take that. Where did I belong then? Home? Prison?

"Get some rest." He gave me a slight nod and walked out of the room.

Being left to my own thoughts wasn't necessarily comforting. My head was spinning- with questions, anxieties, and drugs. I wanted to get out of there, I needed to. There was no record of me being at Arkham- I was an actual Jane Doe (haha) unprotected and vulnerable. I hated it. Luckily, my thoughts could no longer keep my body awake. I fell into an uncomfortable, troubled rest. Lo and behold- I awakened gleefully and surprisingly horny at the arrival of my rescuer.

…

When I saw Joker come through the door something happened. Something snapped inside of me, deep in my bones. I felt at ease, I felt wholly comfortable in his presence. And I'm surprised to say I still feel that way at the moment- with his arms around me and my head upon his chest.

Joker's chest rises and falls unevenly. His oxygen is supplied in an erratic, unnatural rhythm. I took to pressing my chest to his in some strange attempt to teach it. He seems to like that. He likes when I burrow close. He follows suit and pulls me into him. I grin. Our insecurities are overtly apparent. Neither of us would ever voice them, so we use our bodies- our physical affection to act them out. The loneliness, the desperate and insistent actions- It brings a literal meaning to the term, "clingy".

"Shush, Janie." He suddenly mumbled.

"What? I didn't say…"

"I hear your brain, it woke me up. What are you thinking about?"

"Burger King."

"Really?" He chuckled.

_Surprisingly, yes. _"When I was eighteen, I was out of town visiting my family over Christmas. I was- I get extremely drained from those gatherings so I took my Aunt's car and went to Burger King late one night. I like their frozen cokes."

"Uh huh?"

"As I got my drink and pulled out a bit I saw this guy. He was young, probably in his twenties. He had a backpack and he was sitting outside the building leaning against the wall. It was really cold- he had a black wool skull cap and a black jacket on. I remember him rubbing his hands together furiously in attempts to get warm. I guess I'd sat there long enough for him to take notice because he looked over at me and said hey."

"What did you say?" Joker asked, surprisingly interested in the story.

"I said hey back. He then asked me what I'd got at the drive thru. I showed him my frozen coke. He said I was crazy to drink something so cold when it was so cold outside. By then I was holding up the line and the car behind me honked. The guy stood up and approached my car as I rolled forward. He asked me my name, and I told him. Then he asked if he could come with me."

"Did you let him?"

I shook my head. "No, I told him that wouldn't be safe."

"All the same, he probably was going to cut you open and have sex with your corpse."

I laughed. "Jesus! Of course, because every homeless or out of luck person is a rapist and/or murderer."

"Pretty much," He spoke decidedly.

I pursed my lips, suddenly remembering who I was talking to.

"It's just as I drove away from him I got that feeling. You know that feeling when you want to do something, but you're too afraid? I wanted to turn around and go back and pick him up. I wished I would have. I don't know why I just felt like I was missing out on something…something potentially exciting, something out of the ordinary. But," I shook my head. "I just kept driving farther and farther away. You know what I mean- that feeling of regret? When you realize you're not as brave as you want to be or as much as you thought you were?"

"I'm not one to pass up new opportunities or experiences."

"No, I suppose you wouldn't be." I smiled slightly.

"And now you're afraid that you've gone too far the opposite way?"

"That's just it- I don't, have that filter anymore. My sense of danger and rational has just," I twirled my hand up in the air. "… vanished. When you came for me, I just let it all go. I know I should be frightened of this revelation, but I'm not."

"That's a great thing, Janie girl."

"It's too early to tell." I sat myself up on his chest. It was lighter outside now, and I could see him truly for the first time. His scars really were too perfect to be accident- like; he didn't just fall onto razor blades. Symmetrically they were almost completely even with each other. He was truly a beautiful man. I took my hand and outlined the curves of his face. His features flexed in all of the right places. This was intimate, yet strange. But I was enjoying it.

Dr. Cavendish was right, I certainly was disturbed. But somehow, suddenly, I was okay with that.

"What if like, you're the one for me?" I abruptly voiced aloud, instantaneously horrified the second I realized it escaped my mouth. What did it mean if that statement were true?

"There's no such thing as the one, Janie."

"Of course there is. That's why people get together…that's why they decide to commit to each other."

"Then why do they split up? Why do people leave?"

"Because they weren't with their one…because they married for other reasons, or they botched it up."

He was silent, obviously lost somewhere between his head and his heart. But that didn't last long. He quickly took to laughing wildly, shaking both of our entangled bodies in the process. Of course it occurred without an explanation.

"Why are you so certain that there isn't a one?" I took to laying back down on his chest. My head was still spinning from all the medication I'd been administered.

"It's irrational- illogical to think that there is one person that is a counterpart to oneself."

"Since when have you been rational or logical?"

"Ouch, for you information, Doll- I've always been logical. The only logical way to carry on is to accept that there is no intrinsic meaning to existence. Since there is no meaning, there certainly isn't a "one" for any of us."

"So there's no love either?" I asked despondently. Dr. Cavendish's accusation kept running through my head. I was unsure and uneasy of which direction I wanted Joker's response to sway.

"Mostly love is just a made up emotion. It's used so people will continue to produce offspring."

It was my turn to ponder his words. "So it doesn't exist?" I mumbled shakily.

"I didn't say that." Joker spoke decidedly. His words left an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. "But Doll, you and I- we don't need love. We have each other."

I furrowed my brow at this one. Not because I didn't understand - I furrowed my brow because I somehow understood him with perfect clarity. I knew what that meant.

"You know me intimately, more than you should."

"Mmm hmm."

"And I know you, oddly enough. I think I even understand you somewhat."

"Don't be coy. You should own up to your understanding and familiarity. There's no doing otherwise anymore. I think you know that."

"You're right." He was half teasing and half threatening. For having such a non-committal outlook on life, he sure did want commitment. This was completely new territory for me. As I'd revealed to myself and Cavendish earlier in Arkham, my track record for relationships was short and painfully shallow. Commitment was big. Well, that and the fact that my only meaningful relationship I'd had thus far was with a serial killer/psychological terrorist.

"Committing to you is going to get me committed." I giggled.

"It kind of already has,"

My laugh continued as I relaxed again and closed my eyes.

Suddenly though, I found myself being pushed off the bed and onto the floor.

"What the hell?" I stood up all awry, trying to find my footing. I glared at him.

"I just remembered that I'm angry with you." He informed me as he sat up. He rotated his shoulders in attempts to find his posture.

"What?"

"You're inconsistency has cost a great effort on my part. I've had to rescue you from yourself more than once now."

I glared at him propelled my arms forward to push on his chest. Joker fell back from my shove onto the mattress, but quickly sprung up. He grinned as he grabbed my arm.

"Come here." Joker growled as he dug his fingers into my hips. He yanked me underneath him and stared for a moment with an adamant gaze. Then, quite effectively, he initiated sex.

Cerebrally, I was unprepared for the surge of excitement that came along with his thrusts. My mind was racing. But it was on a very determined, concentrated track.

My eyes closed as I allowed myself to connect with him once more. The moment they were shut, my other senses were intensified. I could feel him, his appetite for unanimity. Well let's be honest, that was also me... It was desperate, like the last time. But he and I both knew that things had changed. I had reconciled, or at least partly acknowledged that I was his. I couldn't sensibly debate this anymore.

His hands made their way from my hips to my wrists, burying them in the mattress. I tugged and pulled them out of his grasp. The rest of his body followed suit in applying great pressure. I suddenly was made aware of how strong he could be- when determined. I looked up to him.

"I don't like being held down."

"But this seems to be the only way I can get and keep your attention. More often than not, my Janie isn't susceptible or receptive to persuasion." He pushed himself up a little. His hand ran up to seize my left breast. He squeezed until I moaned.

Thank God he didn't have any sodium pentothal…

"But somehow," He continued with his soliloquy. "…when I'm between your legs," He chuckled. "Well let's just say you're more open."

"Come on, then. What do you need to say? I'm really not one for all this talking." He was right. I had the coherence of a horny teenager during sex. I hated him for knowing me that well. "But if there's something you need to get off your chest, stop pressing so hard against mine." I steadied myself and flipped our positions. I ran my hands along his chest and forced him to follow my new pace.

"So you like pressure- as long as you're the one controlling it?" One hand rested on my hip. The other glided down the middle of my torso. "As long as you're in command it's just fine? Who is the sadist now?" He challenged as he sat up and wrapped his arms tightly around my lower back. He smacked my body against his.

"What is your argument?" I whimpered, falling into him. I was getting to the point where I was enjoying myself too much to debate over position.

"First things first, I'm not liking how benevolent I'm being towards you."

_In other words, I don't like how much I like you…_

"Likewise, but we'll both get over it." I immediately responded.

"The way you look at him, you shouldn't be looking at him."

I didn't have to ask who. It's funny though, in a strange way, I agreed with him. It wasn't fair. I understood because I was guilty of the accusation. Batman appealed to me and it had happened just as suddenly as my attraction to Joker. There was no way I could rescind it. But there also was no way to parallel it to what I felt for Joker.

I started, terrified of what I was about to say- "You're a NIN fan, right? Well, let me put this in a way you can understand…I watch you drown, but I'll follow you down, and I am here, I am staying right beside you." I swallowed. "I don't have a choice in the matter anymore."

He granted me a silent smirk- a grin. It was dark, indecipherable, and painfully devoted to making me uneasy. He would not verbally reciprocate, that just wasn't his way. But my words had ignited excitement within him- an aggression. He pushed me back down to the bed and aptly followed. His face wasn't a millimeter away from mine. His glare, it possessed an intensity I had difficulty matching…So I didn't. I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down the rest of the way. I kissed him and closed my eyes- allowing myself the break.

There was no more talking for quite some time.

…

His arms tried to stop me, but I evaded them and rolled off the bed. I took the sheet with me and stumbled over to the laundry bags in the corner. One of which I knew was filled with my clothes. I dumped it out and began to sift through it.

Before I could pick anything out, Joker was behind me. He swept me up, sheet and all and brought me back to the bed.

He laid me down, my face to his. He very much enjoyed holding me. And, let's be honest- I didn't mind it. Anyone knows it's nice to be well-regarded.

"Now's not the time for clothes," He informed. "Tell me about Arkham."

"What about Arkham?"

"Did they treat you special?"

"Not really,"

He seemed genuinely upset about this. "Why not?"

I laughed a little. "It's not me they're after."

"They can't use you like that," He shook his head.

"They did,"

"They'll pay for it." He promised placidly. "But tell me everything…what did they do?"

"They gave me drugs."

"And how does that make you feel?" He asked, practicing a therapy all his own- his hands running rampant across my person.

"How did they make me feel or how you are making me feel?"

Joker grinned. "I know how I make you feel."

"So them?"

"Uh huh…"

"I hate them." The physicality in our relationship had me all in a tizzy. I had little conviction in my words concerning the folks at Arkham. But I meant them nonetheless.

"Me too, I didn't say they could abduct you. I'll kill them, no- we'll kill them!"

This was getting out of hand. I was far too complacent with this conversation. "Okay, I don't need to be naked anymore. I don't think straight when I'm naked with you." I tried to untangle myself from him but he yanked me back.

"No, no, not yet… We should, always be naked; we should always be like this." His fingers traced my lips as he spoke.

"What are you saying?" I grinned. But he gave me no grin in return. He was serious, and pensive.

"This, this is something, because this…" His tongue fluttered as he searched for his words. "This means something." He spoke in the most solemn and intimate of voices I'd ever heard him utter. But his voice was far away. It's like his mind had fallen somewhere- it had been temporarily displaced. His hand had moved from my lips to my hair. He was stroking it mindlessly, holding the strands in his fingers. But it was just that. It was only a mindless action.

I didn't exactly know what to do. I sensed a moment of loss, of deep panic within his person. I took to moving closer, entwining my body with his once again. I kissed his cheek, I kissed his scars. He suddenly and mercilessly had just stabbed me through the heart. I felt as if I had fallen with him- into the depths of his loneliness, his emptiness. It was a horrifying place. Yeah, yeah- I was lonely too. But I had never understood the vast difference between us until that very moment. I was lonely because I had shut myself off. It took someone, (him) prying up the boards I had nailed down over myself as a barrier. He had succeeded in quelling my loneliness. With Joker, however, nothing before this (at least in a long, long time) had ever had meaning.

For him, there was no future, the world was purely senseless. His whole reality was constantly, perpetually stuck. It was dull, boring, and tiresome in a way that was inconceivable to me or anyone else. There was no way I could ever truly fathom it. All Joker had was reacting- his reactions. It was eternally boring because for him, there was absolutely no other state of being- no other place to go or reality to escape to. I looked at his scars. They were the cause for this. Or at least, they were part of it. It wasn't the world that was empty, it was him. All he had was the darkness.

So what good was I for him? Was I helping him? His lifeblood was the madness, it was the chaos. How was I supposed to help him if I embraced it as well? It had brought him nothing but pain. It had consumed him, become him- Joker was pain.

Suddenly, he was back. I noticed this because he was wiping the tear that was running down my cheek with his thumb.

"Where are you?" He asked me playfully.

How the fuck was I going to explain that? I steadied myself and looked up to him. I wasn't. There was no way I possibly could. Right now, he seemed sated- more at ease than he'd ever been. Maybe I was helping him?

"I'm here," I promised. "I'm just, I'm so hungry."

Joker chuckled. "So you're crying?"

"No," I laughed with him, "my eyes are watery."

"You shouldn't cry, There's nothing to be sad about. We just had sex and there's food here, aaaand soon we'll get to go kill some people that we don't like."

I gave him a look-a look of disapproval I'm sure I've given him a dozen times.

"What part do you need me to repeat, Janie? Because I know you heard it all…"

"Why, who are we killing?"

He flashed me a grin. "Well at least you're on board." Now he hopped out of the bed and started putting clothes on. In a rush, he already had pants. He made his way in front of the dirty vanity mirror and started putting on his face.

"No," I corrected. "No I didn't say I was on board!"

"But you didn't say you weren't." He laughed.

I took this as my chance to pop up and throw on clothes as well. I sifted through and found a bra and some underwear. I threw on a grey V-neck and some jeans. I looked around, but I couldn't find any shoes.

"You wouldn't happen to have brought any shoes?"

"The box to your left has boots." He spoke without looking. I opened the box and sure enough. I looked over to him. He was doing something on his laptop. I shook my head. His energy was making me dizzy.

"Sometimes you're memory retrieval is nothing short of…"

Joker jumped up and grabbed me. He clamped his hand over my mouth. "Shh Shh Shhhh! Someone's coming."

I muttered through his hand but it was a futile exercise. Thankfully, he released his hold.

"Who?"

"Well, they're downstairs. This is the 41st floor. It'll take a while. The elevator doesn't work unless I want it to."

"Then why did you clamp your hand over my mouth?"

Joker shrugged. "I thought it was more melodramatic." He chuckled and went to the cabinet under the sink.

"Who is coming?"

"Just Wobbles'…some of his crew probably. I knew they would come." He finally reached what he was looking for from under the cabinet. My eyes widened.

"A VHS assault rifle?"

Joker grinned. "What, never seen a Croatian military rifle before?"

"Not in person, no." I inadvertently had gravitated towards the weapon. I touched the metal with my fingertips.

Joker chuckled. "If I would've known rare guns got you so hot and bothered…"

I shook my head. "Wait, what are we going to do about Cobblepot?"

Joker smiled and grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in. He smacked my lips to his and quickly released. "Don't worry, this will be fun." He walked off and went back to the cabinet under the sink.

"How did he find out where we were?"

Joker pulled out one of Cobblepot's tranquilizer guns and waved it about. "With this," He studied it carefully. "They have some sort of tracker on them."

"What? How do you know that?"

"It's okay Janie, I wanted them to come. Here, you look at the gun and find the tracking device." He held it out towards me.

I stepped towards, but quickly halted when he shot me. I grabbed the dart and quickly yanked it out of my stomach. "What the hell?" I spoke as I stumbled, but Joker caught me before I hit the ground. He began to laugh hysterically.

"You can't be serious?"

"It's just, your face." He began- "Priceless Janie," He shook his head. "Hey, but don't let the laughing fool you, Doll, I am entirely serious. We've got to fight for equality in this relationship. Shooting you was just flat-out fair. Besides, your attendance isn't required in this impending mêlée. Don't worry though- I'll take care of it."

"You're not making any…" I couldn't finish, I hadn't the consciousness to spare.

"Now, you're going to wake up in an unusual place but don't worry, this is all my idea. I'll come get you and then…"

My eyelids were fluttering, he was carrying me somewhere, but his words had already faded.

…

I was plum sick of losing consciousness. From that moment on out- I vowed for it to never happen to me again.

But the truth of the matter was- I wasn't sure if I had actually come to. Wherever Joker had taken me was pitch black. I tried to lay still there a moment and let my eyes adjust to the light. But it was no use. There was no light.

I brought my arm up and rubbed my face. That's when I noticed that there was something heavy lying on my chest. I took a breath and felt around. My eyes widened. It was a gun, a big gun- probably a VHS automatic rifle. Well, at least he'd left me with protection? That was a stupid thing to be grateful for.

I stood up carefully and held the gun away from me. Knowing Joker, I was willing to bet money that the safety was off. I took a second to find my balance before I took any steps. When I did I still felt a bit woozy. But I needed to get my bearings and find out where I was at. Luckily, most of these assault rifles come equipped with a light. It took a few minutes of teetering, but I finally figured it out. I shined the light around the room.

It was a janitor's closet. Very similar to one I'd been in recently. I looked to the door and there was a note on it.

_Just like old times- Don't go anywhere! _

I pursed my lips and let the note fall to the ground. He was such a comedian. But he should know better. I wasn't about to stay put when I didn't know what the heck was going on.

I turned the gun's little light off and pressed my ear to the door. I waited there for several seconds- listening in silence for the slightest of hints that someone was on the other side. I even crouched down and tried to look out through the bottom - but it was flush with the floor. There was no light flowing through.

I sighed and took a deep breath as I steadied the gun and turned the handle. I rolled my eyes. Of course he had locked it. I was locked in here. I was locked in here and he was God knows where killing and maiming people. It wasn't that I wanted to join him- I just didn't like not being able to make that decision for myself.

I eventually found the safety and put it on. I took the handle of the gun and banged it on the metal door knob. Despite what you see in films, this takes a lot longer than 2.7 seconds. This is especially true when you're trying not to make any noise. I tried to time it perfectly- every 15 seconds. I hoped that if anyone happened to hear it, they would think the clanking noise was something mechanical.

Finally, the knob came loose and I unscrewed it the rest of the way. Regrettably, the other knob fell to the ground outside. I decided that if there was anyone out there watching and laughing at me, well so be it. I might as well just face the music.

But, to my relief, there wasn't anyone outside the door. In fact, I was fairly certain there wasn't anyone in the building at all, aside from myself. I was fairly certain of this because half of the building was missing.

I looked to the left and a huge gust of freezing wind and icy rain pelted my skin. It all came through a giant gaping hole where the building used to be. Without a coat, the temperature and the rain burned my skin.

Well, that's a tranquilizer for you. Half of the building I was in exploded and I didn't hear a thing. I took the gun and put it on the ground as I inched toward the edge where the hallway ended. I looked down.

I was about twenty stories up as far as I could tell. But there was a crowd. Cops, fireman, and medics had taken over the entire block the complex was on. There were also hundreds of gawking onlookers that would surely gasp if they spotted me. Great, I quickly backed up out of their line of vision. Maybe I should have just stayed in the janitor's closet…

I didn't know what to do. I was a wanted girl. So the second I was "rescued" someone was bound to recognize me. My only chance was to try to get a few stories up or down to hide. I turned back to the right to go down the hall, but I was too late.

A fireman had already arrived to my alleged rescue.

"Miss, miss are you okay?"

I tried to stay as far away from him as I could. I could not; I would not go back to Arkham.

I nodded.

"Look, this building's structure is unstable. We're unsure what extent of damage the blast has caused. But this side's stairwell is still intact, come with me." He gestured his hand. Well, he wasn't exactly brave- not wanting to come and get me. I could use that to my advantage.

"I, I think I…" What was I trying to say? "I think I'm getting hypothermia."

The fireman smiled. "Miss, if you're at the point where you can discern that diagnosis, you're going to be alright."

I shook my head. "I just got over a bout of it- I almost died. I'm more susceptible. I could rapidly change stages." I had no idea if that were true or not, hopefully he didn't either.

"I think you're just in shock."

"Nonetheless, could I just…could I get a blanket?"

"Right now our priority is getting you out of this building." He took a few steps forward.

"Please!" I shouted which made him stop. I really didn't want him to see my face any better.

He let out an exaggerated sigh. He took off his jacket and tossed it across the floor. "Take this."

It wouldn't cover my head, but it was better than nothing. It might make me a little less noticeable.

As I reached for it, I noticed the gun right beside. The fireman was messing with his radio so I quickly threw the coat over it and swept it up. I wished Joker would have given me a smaller gun; it would have been much easier to conceal.

"Will you come now and let me get you out of here?"

I took the jacket and wrapped myself up tightly. I tried to tuck the gun in the back of my jeans the best that I could, but I dropped it and it promptly fell to the ground.

"What's that?" The fireman looked over.

I quickly pretended I had stumbled. "Oh my God, there's a gun over here!" I did my best to imitate shock. I think I way overdid it.

"Leave it!" He commanded. "It could be evidence."

I nodded and kicked it back in the janitor's closet when he looked away. That was a rare and exceedingly powerful gun. I'd hate for it to get in the wrong hands. I quickly reminded myself that it already belonged to Joker- and that I was dating him.

I tried to tuck my hair in as best as I could and flipped up the collar of the jacket. I slowly walked towards him, trying my very best not to make eye contact.

He put his arm on the small of my back and guided me to the stairwell door.

"So, what happened here?"

"What do you mean? You were in here, don't you know?"

"I mean, there was an explosion…but then I blacked out from the shock." _Liar._

"Well, you're one of the lucky ones. One of the few "ones" at all actually- there are only six that have been found so far…alive." He swallowed. "No one really knows what happened yet. Some say that it was a terrorist act." He spoke, not convinced of his words. I could feel him trying to look at me, but I kept evading his stares.

"You don't think it was terrorists?"

"Well," He scoffed. "I'm not wholly convinced that this was done by foreigners."

"You mean?"

"Gotham has plenty of its own terrorists. There's no need for other people to come in, we've got plenty people here that want to destroy the city… My money's on the Joker. Or…Batman- he killed all those people. Whichever one, they're both nuts. This Goddamn city...pardon my French."

I shook my head. "No matter."

Someone came in on his radio. "Reed, have you found…?"

"I've found a; a female I'm bringing her down the south stairwell."

"Negative, we've got a situation down here. You're going to have to wait. Are you secure?"

He looked around the area and radioed back. "Yes, all secure."

"Stay put until we tell you otherwise."

"Yes sir,"

I looked over to him now- not having that slightest clue. "What was that about?"

"They just want to make sure it's safe."

I smiled back at him slightly- Whatever that meant.

We both took to sitting on the cement steps. I tried my best to keep my head down, but he was right next to me now.

"You look familiar," He informed me. This was inevitable. I just had hoped it wouldn't have happened this soon. "What's your name?"

I swallowed … "Harleen," I spoke in a quiet voice. That was the only name I could think of- it was the name on the nametag of that female Arkham doctor that had been with Dr. Cavendish. Wow, I really hadn't been keeping any female company as of late…

"Mine's David, David Reed as you already heard over the radio." He smiled.

I nodded. I didn't know that doctor's last name, and I wasn't sure I had the mental capacity to think one up other than "Smith." I prayed to God that he didn't ask. Luckily he didn't.

"So do you live here?"

"Huh?" I had to pull myself out of my thoughts.

"Is this your apartment building?"

I shook my head. "My friend, I was…she's out of town I was feeding her cat." Where did that come from?

"Bad luck! Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time."

I nodded. David was cute. He was around my age, probably a few years older. He had thick, light brown hair poking out of his helmet and light brown eyes to match. And he was pretty fit, I mean-fireman. I thought about him for a moment. I could have dated someone like him a few months ago. He's a little brash and cocky, I like that. His job is fairly exciting as well. But let's face it; David probably had more looks than brains. But that would have been okay, because that would mean that he wouldn't be able to get close. We would date for a while, have some fun- and that would be just fine. Because that was always the path I had chosen. I always wanted to keep people at bay. No one ever got close because I wouldn't let them. Because deep down, I felt that no one ever really would understand my deep down.

"So did the cat make it?"

"Huh?" I really needed to work on my communication skills. I had just drifted off, yet again. "I mean, I don't know." I shrugged. "I really don't care." What was wrong with me? As if I weren't already suspicious enough, let's throw in cold and heartless towards animals. (Albeit fictional animals)

Luckily for me, David found this amusing. "Well, I guess I wouldn't really care about a cat either- after all this."

I smiled. "Yeah,"

There was a long moment of silence, which was fine. But it also forced my mind to meander. What did I do when we got down to the crowd of people? He might not have recognized me yet but others would. Someone was bound to identify me when we got down there.

"So what do you do, Harleen? When you're not feeding your friend's cat and leaving it for dead? What do you do with your time?"

I was used to lying, I'd lied a lot in my life. We all do it. We tell hundreds, thousands of white lies to get by- to be accepted. But I was tired of it. I was also just plain tired. No, no one was forcing me or pumping me with drugs. I just didn't want to do it anymore.

"My name is Jane, Jane Archer." I looked up to him unashamedly. "I'm a butcher by trade and I'm a grad student. At least, I was up until the school blew up. This bomb here was either done by the Joker or a man named Oswald Cobblepot. Everyone thinks he's a businessman, but he's some sort of crime boss. I'm a little new to that world so I'm not sure in what capacity he fits into the mob. Anyways there's no cat- if there was I still wouldn't care if it died. I've almost died a lot recently, so I guess I value animals lives less and mine just a little bit more."

I paused, waiting for his reaction. His face didn't seem as shocked as I'd imagined. He nodded slightly.

"I knew it was you."

"Well," I shrugged. I didn't know how to respond to that.

He shook his head. "I'm just glad you didn't shoot me with that horrifying rifle. I was freaked out- there for a minute."

I looked over to him. "I don't kill people, that's kind of Joker's thing. Well, I might have killed this one guy. But I'm not sure. He's a serial killer though, and he tried to kill me so it was kind of justified- self-defense."

"Really? It's just, that news report made you look pretty fucking scary."

I lowered my brow. "What story?"

"The one they released. They say you've killed dozens of people with the Joker, that you even killed that Professor."

My heart skipped a beat. "What Professor?"

David looked over at me. "The one you worked for."

I nodded; I could feel my whole body begin to shake. "When?" My voice cracked, I had to push the question out.

"Ah, fuck it's all been a blur."

"Tell me!" I shouted. The ferocity in my voice must have startled him, for he jumped a little.

"The night they caught you, I think. Before you were admitted and escaped from Arkham."

I felt all the blood drain from my face and body. I wanted to cry, to scream, but everything was dry, and numb.

"How did he die?"

"What?"

"How did they say he died?"

"Oh, well it turns out he's not dead."

I looked over to him. "So, you're just playing some kind of sick joke?!"

"No," His eyes suddenly turned fearful. "He was hurt real, read bad. He's in the hospital. But he's alive, they said he's stable."

I let out a sort of gasp- some pocket of air I had been holding in. Suddenly the tears wanted to come.

"Jesus, you really didn't know? You really didn't do it?"

I barely heard his words, I didn't care. All I wanted to do was see Dr. Grant. I had to know he was okay.

It took me several minutes to notice that David had taken to putting his arm around me. I think it was less off a consoling touch, and more of a "stop this you're freaking me the eff out" touch.

I closed my eyes after a few minutes in attempts to swallow my sobs and tears. He was alive. Right now, that's all I could be grateful for. That's all that mattered.

David was quite silent, and so was that radio of his. Eventually I wanted things to move forward. I needed to face it all one way or another.

"Can you not call your Captain, or whoever he is?" I quickly changed my tone. "Could you check and see if whatever problem they're having is solved please?"

David shook his head. "When we're clear, when we got an exit, we'll know." He assured me.

I nodded.

"Besides, why are you so anxious to get down there anyway? Am I really worse company than the police?"

"It's not that, I just don't like being idle. I'd rather face my fate."

"You and me both," He conceded. "But you know they're going to take you the second you get down there."

I shrugged. "Joker will come for me."

"You seem quite confident about that."

"He's smarter than them. Even if I resigned to serving my time, he wouldn't have it."

"So you'd rather be in jail? In Arkham?"

I shook my head. "I didn't say that."

David cleared his throat. "Well, what if something happened to him? What if he can't come?"

"Well, I could always take you hostage." I looked over to him, only half kidding. Was I seriously considering it? A little. "Because I'm not going back to Arkham."

David smiled, rubbing his hands together for warmth. "No, no you're not."

I shared a smile with him for a brief second, but it quickly faded. "Wait, what makes you so certain?"

He pursed his lips and sighed. "Well, I've got to say I was a bit surprised at your sudden outburst of honesty. I mean, why in the world would you tell me who you were? But, surprisingly, it's making me feel a bit guilty."

My smile was definitely gone now. "Why?"

"Because I wasn't honest either. I mean, I am David Reed. It was more that I mislead you…"

"How so, David Reed?"

"Well, I'm not really a fireman- as the uniform would suggest."

"Then,"

"Yes, I work for Cobblepot." He shrugged. "Sorry."

I guess honesty was contagious. But I wasn't sure if I cared. The only thing I could think of at the moment was what a bad judge of character I was. More looks than brains? Well, maybe still…

"So I'm not going to jail when I get down there?"

"No, you're going to my boss. He tried letting the cops handle things, but like your boyfriend, he's simply smarter than them. The men on the ground will radio when we have a clear exit. Then we can get you out of here without anyone seeing."

"So the bomb,"

"Perpetuated by your partner in crime, I'll wager. It killed 13 of Oswald's men."

"Tragic," I murmured.

"Otherwise the building was mostly abandoned."

"What if I scream and yell? What if I cause a scene?"

David smirked. "Now, why would you want to do that? You don't even know why Mr. Cobblepot wants you. Better him than the police. And according to you, you're not going back to Arkham."

"Well he certainly doesn't want to talk, or take me out to dinner…"

David shrugged. "You'll just have to wait and see."

…

I keep making these assumptions- and these assumptions keep turning out wrong. Oswald Cobblepot did in fact want to take me out to dinner. They didn't even tie me up when they slipped me past the police and into a black Tahoe. They even were nice enough to adjust the heat for me in the backseat per Oswald Cobblepot's instructions to keep me comfortable.

Imagine the continuation of surprise when Oswald Cobblepot himself actually rose from his corner booth in the restaurant to greet me.

"Well hello, Miss Archer." He spoke with all the social niceties laced in his tone. I almost felt guilty at not being able to return the favor.

"Please sit down." He invited me to sit across from him in his booth. I sighed and did so.

"I'll have them go to the boutique downstairs and get you another coat. That fireman's jacket is swallowing you whole." He gestured for one of his men to come retrieve it. I took it off and handed it to him, still somehow feeling I should continue to be cordial.

Cobblepot had a ledger sitting on the table. He signed off on it and held it up. A man was quickly at his side to pick it up. After this, he looked up at me.

"Wow," I started. "Mighty impressive,"

He ignored my snarky remark. His eyelids might have fluttered a bit, but not much. "Are you hungry?"

"I am, actually."

"Me too, let's get something to eat."

"Wonderful,"

Oswald inclined his head towards a waiter. "We'll both be having the special." The waiter nodded and quickly walked off. Another came and filled both our glasses with water.

Oswald took a sip, and then looked up to me. "So, Jane Archer- what's new? I mean, since you shot me?"

"Obviously you exaggerated your bullet injury from Joker because you look perfectly well now."

"The healthcare system is in a lot better shape than most of the country would think."

"And I only shot you with a tranquilizer gun. Many people would say that if; the gun wasn't there in the first place, that violence would have never ensued. So, in a way- you caused your own injury." I shrugged as I took a gulp of water myself. I don't know what had come over me. I was seething cynicism. The waiter had filled my cup the second I sat it down. I couldn't help but say thank you.

"Oh let's not talk politics or debate civil liberties. This is much too nice a place to do so, wouldn't you agree?" His accent was odd. It wasn't American, but I couldn't really tell if it was British- very muddled.

I looked around at the restaurant. "Not bad," I shrugged.

"This is my favorite hotel I own." He exclaimed. "Do you know why?"

"I do not."

"Because, it has the best restaurant…" Our food had arrived. The waiter sat our plates down and waited for Cobblepot's approval.

"Very good," He nodded. The waiter smiled and amply walked off.

Another man in a leather coat suddenly walked up. Oswald held up his arm. "Not now, I'm eating and having semi-intellectual banter. This is rare."

"But, sir, the shipment…"

"Did I not say I was eating?" His eyes shifted to the man.

The man nodded, and walked off just as the waiter had.

I shook my head. Either he was staging this to intimidate me, or he was just a jerk. Probably both…Nevertheless, I was hungry. And he had picked a steak, a Kobe Rib Eye Cap Steak to be exact.

"I assumed because of your occupation that you would not shy away from a steak."

I shook my head. "Of course not,"

"I hope you recognize the taste…I'm eager to tell you but…"

"It's a Kobe Rib Eye, and it's from DeLuca's."

"I thought you might do well with some familiarity. As, I'm sure normalcy and routine have been scare for you in the past few weeks."

"That's true, and that's very thoughtful." I took a bite. It was sublime. But let's be honest- I really didn't remember the last time I'd been able to eat a decent meal. I would have gone for a hot dog cart and been just as elated. "But being that this kindness spurns from the fact that you want something from me, I'm a little leery."

Oswald smiled. "Well, we already knew that I desired your assistance. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here."

I looked up to him, waiting for his pitch. But she shook his head. "After dinner, it's not good to rush such a steak."

…

In a way, I was truly thankful to him. He had really offered me a kindness. It really was enjoyable to just sit and eat- without interruption. And it was nice to be indoors- with a fireplace and constant heat running. But despite all of this I tried to maintain my reticence. For all I knew, this was a last meal- and he was going to take me out back and shoot me execution style right after.

But that didn't come. Next came coffee- which I had missed. After that came the beignets- which I ate without complaining. But this was starting to feel too much like a creepy, awkward date- the kind you know is not going to work out but he keeps ordering more courses.

Finally, all we had was coffee and water. Cobblepot was a large man. He adjusted his body a little to face me better in the booth. "So tell me, Jane. Who is the Batman?"

I gave him a sideways smile. "Well, you don't beat around the bush."

"No I don't. Are you going to answer the question?"

"Why would I help you? You had me arrested? You pressed charges!"

"It was nothing personal, Miss Archer. It's all about appearances really. You see, I have a repertoire to uphold. Unlike you and your, make-upped cohort- I don't have the stamina to live the life as a full out villain or criminal." He held out his arms. "I like going to restaurants without having to kill anyone because they saw me there. I enjoy having a civic status."

"Then why risk being seen with me?"

He smirked. "I'm not risking anything. As I said, this is my hotel. These people all work for me. And they're all loyal."

"How nice that must be for you."

"It is," He inclined his head. "But, even the loyalist of dogs cower in fear-in fear of a winged predator."

"Batman?"

"That's the one, what was his real name again?"

"Ha," I spoke dryly.

"That is why I need to stop the Batman. He is a nuisance and he's bad for business."

"And business is everything to you?"

"I have made my name as a legitimate entrepreneur. But in Gotham," He shrugged. "Well it's just hard to do such without a few aggressive prods of authority. And Batman has forced me to assert that authority once more. And this is why I have come to you."

"To me?"

"See I was certain at first that it was the Joker that would lead me to him. I must admit, he is quite the charismatic and captivating clown. I mean, clearly he's unhinged, deranged. But I still admire his fortitude, his cunning."

I didn't even bother to speak, because Cobblepot really liked to talk. And he wasn't near finished.

"But then, out of the corner of my eye- like a raven in the night- you suddenly appeared. The young girl- the most implausible of us all to be left standing turned out to be just the opposite- you were the most likely." He wiped his face with a napkin and threw it on the table. "We all misjudged your archetypal role in this little conflict of ours. Sure, everyone knew you would play a very important one, but we were betting on the damsel in distress. But you're not, you're the survivalist."

I had been told that, once or twice…

"This is why I'm fairly certain that you will consider my proposal." He lightly slapped the table. "Because you're clever, and you value, above all, your own blubber, your own hide."

"What is this so-called proposal?"

"Unlike your captors at Arkham, I'll accommodate you nicely. I'll give you clothes, a hotel room."

"In return?" I sighed.

"Tell me who the Batman is. I know you know. I know when I came too that night in the auditorium you were dragging him off somewhere." He leaned forward. "Tell me who he is and how I can get to him."

"All I have to do is tell you who he is?"

"Well, obviously I need you to lure him out. I had him almost once, before- who was that who intervened? Oh, it was you. So really this is just you making amends."

"Is that what it is?"

"You know, I have never been subjected to so much sarcasm in one evening. I've treated you to a nice meal have I not? I imagine with the company you keep you're not accustomed to men treating you in such a cordial way…I've made sure you are very comfortable, all on my dime."

"Jesus Christ, I'm not a prostitute! You think I've never owned a dress and shoes, or haven't had the money to buy myself a nice meal? Why would you assume I'm of such low self-respect that I would swoon over your friendly formality which I assume will expire the second I reject your request?"

Cobblepot's facial expression drastically changed- as I figured it would. He wasn't a gentleman. He only pretended to be. He wanted to wear the suit but he lacked the aptitude to wear it with dignity.

"Well then, on that note I'm going to excuse myself for a moment." He held his hand up and beckoned someone. A man approached the table. "I think you're already acquainted with my associate, Victor Zsasz."

No-bleeping-way. My eyes surely widened two sizes at the sight of him. This guy had more lives than a soap opera villain.

"He'll be keeping you company while I'm gone. When I get back, I expect the appropriate response to my proposal." He got up and walked off.

Zsasz scooted in beside me. I slid over until I hit the wall corner of the booth. He did not look good, but yet he was still skulking around.

"What've you been up to, Little Red?"

"How are you still alive?"

Zsasz grinned. "Joker asked me the same question. It's funny how the two of you have grown closer in demeanor." He gave me and up and down. "You've changed." He nodded. "I'm impressed."

"Let's cut to the chase, how long is he going to keep me around before he kills me?"

Zsasz stared at me and furrowed his brow. "You really have changed. I can sense it."

I could see another one of Cobblepot's goons walking up.

"I have, I took your advice and I joined the club." It suddenly became clear to me that Victor Zsasz- known serial killer was my only way out of this situation.

"Have you?" He grinned; Zsasz's looks were unreadable to me.

"And your boss…" I shook my head. "He's not part of it, and you know that."

"Part of what, Little Red?" He looked up at the other thug. Zsasz inclined his head. "We're having a conversation."

The man seemed to comply and walked to the corner of the room.

Zsasz turned back to me. "You're talking about our little club again?"

"That's right," I nodded. "So what are you going to do? Are you giving your loyalty to him or to your blood- the ones who are like you?"

-"You know," Cobblepot had returned. He plopped down in the booth again and settled himself. "No offense Jane Archer, but I don't see the allure. You're intelligent, I'll give you that…and attractive- but you lack the grace and timidity that a gentlewoman should possess."

"That's just because you don't know her. She's a bright spark… a spark grown into a flicker."

Oswald's eyes shifted from me to Victor. "Your purpose is done for now." He told him.

Zsasz stood up and gave me a nod. "Another time," He matched my gaze and nodded.

I smiled. Not that I really had ever thought I was in a club, but that nod certainly made me feel like it.

I needed to stay focused if I was going to survive. I brought my attention back to Wobbles- as Joker affectionately called him. It was easy to understand why.

"So, have you come to a decision?" He asked and looked up to me.

I folded my arms on the table. This guy was an ass- above everything else- an ass with a temper. Sure, he probably had worked hard to achieve what he had. But he was also ruthless. He would struggle tooth and nail to steal and take what he wanted.

"Don't put your arms on the table, this is a nice establishment."

It was then I felt something under my right arm. I carefully swept it off the table with my elbow and allowed it to fall in my lap. It was a knife. A knife my brother Zsasz must have slipped me. Well, what do you know?

At this point, I had stopped listening to Cobblepot babble. I held the knife discretely under the table waiting. If I was going to do this, I would have to wait for just the right moment. But in this moment, I needed to refocus. I looked back up at him.

"A thousand apologies, what did you say?"

"I said, where is he?"

"Can I get a drink from the bar?"

"Absolutely, after you tell me who the Batman is."

I let out a sigh. "Oh, okay." I placed the hand holding the knife on the thigh of my jeans, concealing it. The second I stood up, two of his men came galloping forward. Oswald held up his hand. "Wait!" They immediately stopped.

I slid into the seat next to him and threw my arm around his neck. I breathed then whispered in his ear, "It's" and then immediately following swung the knife around his neck, slicing him a bit in the process.

I bit my lip. Woops. I got a little overzealous in my attack. I felt a little blood trickle down my finger. By now his men were pointing their guns towards me. But I wasn't going to waiver. It was too late for that.

"Alright come on." I instructed as I guided us out of the booth. I was a little hesitant at first, but I think that accidentally cutting his neck a bit worked in my favor. He was nervous.

"Why didn't you check her before you brought her in here?" He admonished his guards. "Idiots!"

I smiled a little. "Alright, let's stop the chat. You and I are going for a ride." I dragged him with me to the front out to the lobby. I picked up my pace. To my chagrin, his men simply followed me- them and their guns.

"My car is in the back." He informed me.

"Well you're kind of a snob." I informed him. "You need a little ethnographic field research. We're taking a cab." I ignored everyone in the lobby and pushed myself out the glass front doors. My eyes darted back and forth. It was dark, but I spotted a cab sitting in the middle of the four lane traffic.

"You're going to regret this; I was giving you a chance."

"Right, I'm going to regret saving my life. Now move faster." I pressed the knife a bit as we reached the cab.

The driver had already taken notice that this was something he wanted no part of. But unfortunately for him I'd already gotten the door open.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no!" The cab driver informed me. "Get out!"

I turned and gave Cobblepot a quick glance. "You heard him, get out!" I kicked him and he stumbled backwards into a white car in the next lane. I quickly slid in and shut the door. I pushed the locks down quickly with my hands then instantly turned to the driver.

"Please, just listen- they were trying to kill me. They put something in my drink and I was just trying to run away. Please, please just- don't leave me here with them."

"Drop the knife!" He briskly.

"It's yours!" I dropped it in the front seat. Cobblepot's men were banging on the windows.

The cab driver shook his head. "Don't worry, Miss. I'll get you out of here…" He threw his hand up at the window. "You sick fucks!" He shouted.

I fell back into the seat and closed my eyes. It was only then that I started to shake from residual adrenaline. What the hell had just happened? Had I really just survived all that? On my own? Well Zsasz had given me the tool, but I'd utilized it. I'd never felt such a rush.

But oppositely-at the same time, I felt like crying. The only reason I'd endured it all was luck- luck and my flair of manipulation. My survival was pure happenstance. I looked at Oswald's blood on my fingers.

Suddenly, I felt sick. At that moment I knew. I understood with perfect clarity life's temporality, its fragile state. It was then I realized just how wrong Zsasz was- and just how much I had lied to him. I wasn't one of them, not one bit. I had just become a better liar-

Zsasz, in a way, was just like Joker. He didn't want to be alone in his sea of nothingness- his sea of darkness. That's why he was so apt to believe that I was like him- because that linked him with something. It allowed him to connect. (Or at least pretend to)

But it was all a façade. I knew this now with certainty- I had no desire to take a life. And I could not and would not ever harness the pleasure in doing so. Because of this, I knew I didn't agree with them. Life wasn't trivial. Yes, it was fragile but it _does_ mean something. It meant something for everyone…even for them. Even for Joker. Life was the most precious of things- the most special of gifts. And I didn't want to take that from anyone. It wasn't in me.

So here I was crying again. But this time, I welcomed it. I let the tears fall and I allowed myself to revel in it. These tears were special. They answered a question within me- a question that I'd desperately needed to know, but had up to that moment dreaded the answer. They let me know that I was in fact human, with a heart and with a soul. I wasn't malevolent. And even though I knew that I loved him, zealously and recklessly- I knew we weren't the same.


	12. The Blade That Stains Us

**Chapter Twelve: **The Blade That Stains Us

"_That sensation of a void within which never left us, that irrational longing to hark back to the past or else to speed up the march of time, and those keen shafts of memory that stung like fire."-Albert Camus- The Plague_

It's quite charming and deceitful- the snow. Snow is wild and untamed. But it easily masks its anger in the white sheets that blanket everything so gently. An underestimated force, a force so tranquil, so dangerous, it never begs attention, it simply gets it. It's always contradictory. Snow must be a woman…

The main problem with Janie is that she's fussy. See, she's fussy and fickle. It incites a peculiar sort of anger inside of me, like, some new strain of tapeworm that they haven't named yet. I find myself perplexed in deciding how to approach it. Do I kill her? Scare her? Do I need to put the hammer down? Maybe on her pinky finger? She pretends to be appalled by the decisions she makes and scolds herself for said choices. But her passion usually takes precedent. (It's interesting how quickly it can quash her indignation). She wants to give into the passion, but she withholds thinking that it will make her a better person. It doesn't. It makes her a frustrating person. But, lucky for her, it also makes her interesting. She's complicated and unpredictable like me. We're two of a kind in that we're nothing alike. And simultaneously we're exactly the same. I like that. But we need to work on our communication. That's our primary issue. She's just another girl who wants to rule the world and I'm just another psycho who wants to destroy it. Oh me oh my.

These issues are all just trifles, really. Janie and I are compatible relationship wise. I mean, I've got her. I'm not worried about that. I'm sure of this because it's not me keeping her around anymore. I'm not one to demean or belittle my exploits, but my attempts to manipulate and convince her to be wholly mine are futile as of late. The thing about Cherry is; she wants to swim, to sink in my pool- my world of dissolution and existential decadence.

Bill Withers says that there's no sunshine when his girl is gone. Well, I'm finding that when Janie's not around, I get restless. I'm always restless. But when Janie's around I can transfer all of that to her. She has a way of defeating it, calming it… or at least distracting me from it. I need that.

And now, once again she's flown the coop. There was no one in the closet I'd left her in. Dames I tell you. She did have the decency to leave my gun behind. But that opens the door to another possibility-she probably was taken. Maybe I could get an ankle brace or something to put on her? A lot of people put microchips in their pets. Good news is- the whole side of that building came clean off. It was beautiful and dramatic- nice and impressive. So much so, I briefly mused as to whether or not I had blown her up along with it. But the closet was still perfectly intact. She just wasn't in it.

I had monitored the activity after the explosion pretty well- Cobblepot didn't show up himself. This is the part where I insult his manhood- calling him a coward. (And he is) but this whole tête-à-tête he's putting on is just so boring. Everything is boring. I'm bored. Where's Batman? I was pretty shocked when he wasn't present at Arkham. This explosion had my name written all over it, literally. I signed my name on the wall in red paint…I don't understand why no one wants to own up to their true feelings. I mean, let's be honest- you know both Bats and Janie think about me at almost constantly. Why do they insist on fighting the inevitable?

Sadly, work requires I concentrate on Wobbles for a bit- at least in order to kill him. Firstly, he's a businessman. He deals in back alleys and in front of TV cameras. He owns three hotels and just recently opened a nightclub. He's a mobster, without the whole family thing to worry about. His gargly, muddled family accent comes from Leeds. He appeared a few years ago like most Gotham rogues after Fear Night. He popped out of nowhere and has grown in wealth and influence ever since. Yada, yada, yada…

The whole purpose of the explosion was to track him and his men back to where he holds up- his fort. Well, I guess I could have done that without the explosion but there's no fun in that. Explosions are fun, stakeouts aren't. But they were craftier than I'd wagered- posing as cops and firemen and such. I knew they would take Janie if they found her. He wanted to know who Bats was and Janie knew. And let's face it- one would probably fair better to reason with her than to reason with me.

I went to the streets to observe the commotion down below. It took forever but eventually I saw her and some guy disguised as a fireman. They left in an unmarked SUV. I took a tan detective cruiser and followed behind. They brought her to a hotel and escorted her in.

I sighed as I pulled out my phone to call some disposable backup. As usual, they took forever. But while I was waiting I saw the most peculiar thing- Victor Zsasz was still alive. He was coming up the block towards the hotel.

I giggled and hopped out of the car to meet him. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked over to me.

"I hear they got your girl. You really should look into putting a tracking device on the kid."

"I'm looking into it…."

Zsasz smirked, following me to the alley next to the hotel. I didn't like his smirk. My humor wasn't for his benefit.

I really wanted to kill him once and for all. No one rises from the ashes unless it's me. But luckily, he didn't seem to be in the mood for pissing me off. He was in fact, contrite. Well, that or frightened. His hands were shaking as he lit a cigarette. It was kind of pitiful as if he wasn't already such a sad excuse.

"Look, Joker,"

"I don't do deals or make any promises about the future. But I won't kill you right now if you do something for me."

Zsasz inhaled deeply and dropped the cigarette to the ground. That was kind of wasteful…

"Alright," He nodded. "But I can't just go get her, there are too many men. I'd never get out."

"Go in and watch her, see how she acts, and what she says and does. Tell me later."

"That's it?"

"I'm not promising I won't kill you thirty seconds from now, go." I know how to work people, especially low level sociopaths such as Zsasz. Guys like him are a dime a dozen. You've got to bark orders because they don't respect you acting any other way. He quickly nodded and turned towards the hotel. I ran after him when I remembered something I'd forgotten.

"Oh, Tally Marks?"

He turned back to me.

"No one lays a hand on her. She dies, you die. She gets hurt,"

"I get it, I get hurt."

I shook my head, "No, you die."

Zsasz nodded and turned the corner.

I walked back to the patrol car and hopped in. There was no sense to wait in the cold. Besides, the car allowed ample cover for me to stare without others noticing.

This was going to be interesting. I know Janie. She's been through too much recently to be threatened again so soon. Something was about to happen. Something was about to wake in her, or snap…whatever the saying is. And I was just itching with pride when she burst through the door with a bewildered Wobbles in tow. She had him by the neck with a knife- what goes around…

I was so excited. I had to control myself from jumping out of the car and helping out. But his men were quickly behind them, and Cobblepot ordered the cab she jumped into to be followed. No, it was best I used the car to follow her.

I pulled out to take off, but a lanky figure jumped in front of me. Zsasz opened the door to the passenger side and hopped in.

"I'm going to help you." He spoke decidedly. Zsasz was a chameleon. It seemed he worked with whoever seemed to be winning. I laughed and pressed my foot on the gas. The tires spun a bit on the black ice as I sped off.

Janie, Janie, where was she going? A black SUV was conspicuously following the cab she was in. I guess she can be pretty convincing. Whatever she had said to the cab driver not only had him driving in circles for twenty minutes, but there were also no cops in sight.

My men had arrived at the hotel and called me. I had them catch up and they were now riding behind me. It was a true Benny Hill moment- Cobblepot's men were chasing Janie, I was chasing them, and my men were following me. I'm not sure how I know who Benny Hill is.

But after half an hour, enough was enough. I was getting bored so I accelerated and slammed into the back of his men's car.

Traffic prevented them from going anywhere but I have work experience in congested areas. It was rush hour and people were delayed bumper to bumper for probably three or four miles. I hopped out of my car with ease and began to unload from my AK-47. My men hopped out of their car and followed suit. I know using an AK-47 is cliché, but there's nothing wrong with cliché when it kills the people it needs to kill.

They were all dead and I'd definitely caught the attention of Janie now. She was looking back through the windshield. I gestured for her to get out, but she shook her head.

"Janie," I warned. She couldn't hear me, but she knew I was mouthing her name.

"No," I could lip-read that clear as day. I growled and hopped around the wreckage and reached for her door. I tried to open it but it was locked.

I gently tapped the driver's window with my gun. "Would you mind unlocking the door?"

"Not a chance." He spat.

I sighed and unloaded shots towards his window. Janie screamed, as if she were surprised I'd do something like that.

Unfortunately, the bullets only left small holes, and his blood splattered head made quite a mess. But the tiny holes proved enough for me to kick the glass in. I reached through and pushed the body closer to the console and unlocked the door. I got back out and opened the backseat door. Janie glared up at me. I pushed her over a bit and climbed in.

About that same time, Zsasz had opened the other back door and sat down on the opposite side of her.

"What are you doing?" Janie and I spoke simultaneously. I took Janie and picked her up in my lap. I moved her from the middle to the other side. She didn't need to sit by him. But then I heard the door open behind me.

"Jeez, Janie." I turned and grabbed her torso and pulled her back in the cab. I guess she'd have to be in the middle.

The traffic had started moving a bit now, and I heard police sirens in the distance.

"Tally marks? You said you wanted to help? Drive." I pointed the gun at the driver's seat. Zsasz shrugged and did what he was told. He pushed the driver on the asphalt and assumed his occupation.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked Janie, but Zsasz answered.

"I'm helping. You just told me to drive. And I just helped you kill all those men."

His presence quite irked me.

"Hey, do you have my knife?" Zsasz asked.

"What knife?" I furrowed my brow.

"I'm talking to Little Red,"

"Her name is Janie. You don't get to have nicknames."

"My name is Jane, and no, I gave it to the driver."

Zsasz and I both looked back to the body in the road.

"It was part of the deal for him picking me up."

"It's not your knife to give, though." Zsasz argued.

"She doesn't care; Janie has a bad habit of stealing knives that aren't hers. She's kind of careless with other people's belongings."

"So I guess I won't be getting it back."

"You're going to have to let this go, Zsasz." I informed him.

"Why did you leave me there? In that closet?" Janie suddenly accused.

"Turnabout's fair play,"

"Oh shut up," She spat. I giggled. "The whole building exploded. I could have died."

"_I _could have died when you left me in that auditorium."

"I didn't blow it up, though."

"Well someone else could have."

"Like who?" She asked mockingly.

"I might have," Zsasz interjected. As habit, I almost reprimanded him for speaking. But he was conceding my point so I let it slide.

Janie shook her head. She was having one of her little 'poor me' moments again. She usually felt better after we made out, or had sex. But first we'd have to get rid of Zsasz.

"I want to go to the hospital." She suddenly said, looking up at me.

I lowered my brow, examining her body. "Why?"

"Dr. Grant's there and I need to see him."

"Why is he at the hospital?"

"Someone hurt him."

"It wasn't me," I spoke quickly, trying to remember if I was telling her the truth or not.

"I know, but Joker, I need to see him. I need you to do this for me."

I hadn't been to a hospital in a while, but I didn't like her needing to go so bad. I shook my head.

Janie shrugged. "Fine, I'll go on my own."

"No,"

"Yes, I can do what I want."

I growled, I guess this is what they mean when they talk about compromise. "Zsasz drive to the hospital."

…

I gotta say we put on quite a show. Everyone dove like seagulls to the floor when we let our guns go off in the waiting room. It was reminiscent of times when I was on top of my game- when all of Gotham fell to their knees at my triumphant undertakings. Yes, it's true- Janie took a lot of attention and gardening. I really hadn't had any me time.

"Joker, don't hurt anyone." She urged. That irked me- especially when Zsasz smirked at her remark. I've a reputation to uphold and she didn't seem to understand that.

-"Please, we don't want any trouble." A security guard spoke before I shot him. Janie jumped and glared at me. I shrugged and grabbed her hand as I went up to the service counter.

I rang the bell despite that fact the woman was sitting right there.

"Dr. Grant's room please."

The woman's lip quivered as she typed into the computer. "2, 216."

"Why thank you!" I spoke, generally surprised that she was so cooperative. I pointed the gun and shot at the window. Unfortunately, the window was bulletproof and it bounced off the glass into the crowd of people. I sighed and shook my head. Gotham…

I told Zsasz to man the area as I dragged Janie in the room to see Dr. Daddy. I shut the door behind us to give a little privacy.

An older but attractive woman was at his bedside. Her eyes shot daggers at Janie girl.

"Raus, du kleine Schlampe, bevor ich dich töten!"

I certainly did not speak German, but one didn't have to be an interpreter to figure out what she was saying. She did not like Janie one bit. But German or not, that was no way to talk to my girl.

"I'm sorry," Janie shook her head. She was getting all teary eyed at the sight of her professor- which I really didn't like. But it's true, he didn't look that great.

Her professor's eyes fluttered and he looked over to Janie. "Kid, I'm glad you're okay."

She smiled and nodded. "Dr. Grant,"

"You're all out of whack," He informed her.

See, this is exactly why I didn't want to come. This professor of hers is one of the few "normal" people that aren't afraid of me- or afraid of what he says in front of me.

"You brought him here? To the hospital?"

I reeeaaaallly didn't like being talked about as if I weren't in the room. I starting looking around to see if there was a plug I could pull.

"I didn't have a choice. I had to see you." Janie announced.

He shook his head. "You had a choice, you've made lots of choices. And you know the difference between right and wrong, kiddo. I'm not going to let you slide or play dumb."

Janie reached for his hand, now he was making her cry. That was the last straw. I grabbed her arm and started to pull her out of there.

"Alright, everyone sees that he's alive. It's time to go."

But the nutty professor grabbed my arm. I turned toward him.

"Don't you tell my girl what to do." He threatened. He then looked over to Janie. "Archer, you know what's right. You need to straighten up."

_His girl?_ This Kenny Roger's wannabe was getting on my last nerve.

Janie's mouth hung open as if this guy were her real father reprimanding her or something, but then she looked to me. I guess she recognized the look in my eye because she gave me a nod and headed out.

"Jane!" Dr. Grant called to her, but I had already made sure she was out the door. I heard him call a few more times but we kept walking. There was no need for that. He was a bad influence on her. For a moment, I was kind of jealous of whoever did put in in that hospital bed.

I was so busy walking that I hadn't realized Janie had stopped a few paces behind me. I sighed and turned back around to approach her.

"What is it now, Miss high maintenance?"

She shook her head. "I'm not, I'm not going with you." She almost whispered- of course she was starting at the floor when she said it.

"Don't be stupid, Janie come on! Tempus fugit," I grabbed her arm but she yanked it away from me. Here we go…

"I can't do this, I mean it." She looked up at me now.

"No, you don't." I grabbed a hold of her and shook her a little bit. "Listen, you don't need substitute Daddy's approval to do what you want. All goes fine and dandy until someone gives you a smack on the wrist. But you don't need them telling you what to do. You're not like them."

Her eyes were all glassy; I'd never seen her crying close up. She really didn't cry a lot since I'd met here. This was kind of new.

"No, you're wrong, I do need them telling me because obviously I put on blinders when I'm around you but I'm not," She took a beat. "It's you I'm not like. I can't be that, I'm not like you. I can't do it. I'm not a killer." I felt her body shaking under my hold, but I only paid attention to her words. "I can't, this is wrong."

There was something different about this time when she said it. She was lying, of course. But this time she was acting different. I didn't like it, I hated it. I felt like that previously discussed tapeworm was ripping me apart- the only counter action was to let myself internally combust to kill it- to stop it from eating my insides, I'd beat it to the punch. I would definitely kill the tapeworm, but I would have to expect a fair amount of collateral damage.

"Take it back, Janie." It was only fair that I give her a chance. But she shook her head, adamant in her temper tantrum.

"No,"

"Janie,"

"No!" She yelled. "I can't!"

"I'm only going to give you one more chance,"

"I don't want to be with you anymore." She shouted until she got to the "anymore" part. It was then I realized it was my weight holding her up, so I dropped her. She sunk out from my hands and her knees gave out.

I left her in the hallway and walked down to the station again. The woman was trying to ignore me so I knocked on the glass.

"Excuse me, Miss- Do you have a phonebook?"

"I've called the police you know." She mouthed back.

"What does that have to do with having a phonebook?"

"Just give it to him, Mary." The other nurse urged.

"Yeah, Mary!"

Mary sighed and slid the phonebook through the paper slot.

I took it from her and gave her a look as I pursed my lips.

Zsasz had the waiting room quarantined and he walked up to me. "What's going on?"

"Go get the car."

"That's fine." He looked down the hall, "What's wrong with her?"

I found the page I was looking for and ripped it out. I shoved it in my coat pocket. "Nothing a little field trip won't fix," I went down the hall and grabbed Janie. "Up we go."

…

She did put up a fair amount of resistance- and it wasn't for show. But the truth was that her physical strength could not match my sheer force of will. She was trying to push me and make me angry. She was succeeding. But that's when I'm at my strongest.

I didn't even bother talking to her or touching her on the way. There was no point. She was shaking like a cold little kitten, but I knew better than that.

Zsasz pulled up to the neighborhood on the east side- a modest neighborhood. There was nothing fancy about it.

I had called two men, telling them to meet me there. They were waiting eagerly, guns in hand as I hopped out of the car.

I told Zsasz to keep the meter running as I pulled Janie out by her elbow.

"Where are we?" She spoke in a monotone voice.

"It's a surprise." I smiled; honestly I was just beside myself with excitement as we went up to the complex door.

I hit every buzzer until someone answered.

"DeLuca's meat delivery," I replied. Someone buzzed me in.

I gave Cherry a smile as I pushed her into the threshold. My men followed in behind me.

"Joker, what is this?"

"Shh!" I commanded. "Don't disturb everyone with your incessant questions."

We got to the third floor in a reasonable time. All of us were in fairly good shape. I knocked on 11C until a boy of about six or seven answered. This is when Janie started to panic.

"Joker,"

"Evening little fella," I ignored her and tousled the boy's dark brown hair and walked in passed him. "Where's your Mom?" I brought Janie in with me. The men poured in behind and aptly shut the door.

We walked in on a woman and a teenage girl sitting at the dinner table. The teenager screamed as the mother jumped up for her son. I allowed it. She brought her son over next to her daughter and clutched them both protectively.

"Sorry to intrude on dinner, which smells lovely by the way…Let me start with introductions…Please, could you all adjourn to the sofa?"

The woman briskly nodded and shuffled her kids to the couch and sat them down.

"Please, just take whatever you want."

I ignored her autopilot reply and started talking. "I'm Joker, and this is Janie." I looked over at Janie, who looked like a deer staring into headlights. I chuckled; it was priceless when I could catch her off guard.

"Let's go." She urged. She was pulling at my jacket now- semi-affectionately. That wasn't going to work.

"Janie, you're being rude. You didn't even let me introduce them. Janie, this lovely widow is Lindsay Shive. Lindsay, what are you kid's names?"

Lindsay was remaining pretty cool all things considered. I wish I could say the same for Cherry, who now knew exactly who these people were.

"This is my daughter, Blakely…and my son, Tyler."

"The Shive family, well, what's left of them anyway." I giggled and nudged Janie in her side.

"What do you want?" Lindsay desperately asked.

That was a loaded question, "Right now, I'm just illustrating a point to my friend Janie here, so be patient."

"Who is she?" Lindsay asked.

"Oh see, Janie is the reason that your cop husband is dead. And kids, she's why your daddy died. Or is it Grandpa?"

"He was my husband!" Lindsay raised her voice a bit, a little more emotional now.

"You killed our Dad?" The girl Blakely asked Janie, confused. "I thought it was you…" She looked over at me.

"No, no, I was just a facilitator."

They all looked over to Janie and so did I; she was shaking more perceptibly now. That was good. I was already getting my point across. I continued.

"A long time ago, your policeman father and husband covered up a crime. He lied and covered up Janie's Dad's murder. So, the other day, he paid for it by being blowing up in a hundred pieces."

"Stop it," Janie croaked hoarsely. I grinned at her, as if…

"And Janie here didn't do anything to keep that from happening."

"I said stop it." She muttered. She was already a mess. Tears were falling down her cheeks.

"But she thinks that she's not responsible for any of it." I started pacing, gaining my momentum for my speech. "She tells me that she's not like me- that she can't be with me, that she's not a killer."

Blakely screeched.

"I had to bring her here- you know- to prove a point. I'm fighting for our relationship. See as long as Cherry has that one degree of separation she can deny it. But by coming here- there's really no denying it now, is there?"

Janie attacked me now, as I thought she would. She lost her cool.

"Stop it!" She cried and flailed her arms at me, landing a few impressive hits. She even forced a 9MM to fall out of my jacket. She was completely irrational. I was the King of irrational- it's too predictable.

"No, you stop it." I gripped her arms until she whimpered. I threw them down to her side and grabbed her face. "It's time that you take responsibility for your actions. You might have not planted the bomb, but you didn't stop it from going off, even when you knew it was going to. You can't pass blame on semantics alone, Cherry. Fess up."

"No," She closed her eyes. But that wasn't going to do any good.

"Yes, and you're going to do it right now." I picked up the gun and put it in her right hand. Her big, watery eyes shot open and looked down at the gun, then up to me.

"What?"

"You're going to prove what I've been saying, all this time. You don't really care about these people. You don't care about them at all. It's just you and me. It's always been just you and me."

She shook her head, her body trying to sink down to the floor. I wouldn't let her.

"Get up!" I commanded. Her breathing was all ridiculous and hysterical.

"Tonight we're going to play a game." I announced to the Shive family. "And Janie girl is the contestant. She gets to choose- which one of you she wants to kill."

"No!" Lindsay screamed. Her daughter was already crying. I guess it was her turn now. "Please, I'll do anything you want; just, just don't hurt my kids."

"Mom," Blakely whimpered. She took her daughters head to her chest. I took a glance at Tyler. Tyler seemed to be absorbing, not much more.

"I'm not going to kill anyone." Cherry tritely announced, regaining some of her composure.

I laughed. "Yes you will, Doll." I walked over to my men, patting one of them on my shoulder. "Why did you think I brought these guys? See, if you don't choose one of them, then they're going to shoot and kill all three of them."

"What?" Janie looked at the gun and shook her head.

"Miss," Lindsay interjected. "Miss, please."

"That's not part of the game, Lindsay." I warned. "You don't get to make a speech. This game is for Janie, not you."

"Joker," Cherry was all sweet voiced now- "Please,"

"No, this is your doing. It's for your own good. You're going to have to finally be who you are. Or just like the Romanov's, the Shive family all ends here tonight."

"I'm not going to, I can't."

I was seething now. I'd waited so long for gratification. And she's denied who she is for far too long.

"If you want to be a child fine, I'm going to count to three."

"I'm not going to do this." She spat.

"That's fine, when I get to three, they all die."

"Joker, no!"

"Miss, kill me- don't hurt my kids!" Lindsay gallantly pleaded.

"Mom!" Tyler suddenly screeched. Both her kids held onto her.

I started my count.

"One, one- who'll shoot the gun?"

"No," Janie shook.

"Two, two, it better be you!" I teased her.

She emitted a frustrated noise through gritted teeth. "I can't…I won't do it!"

"Three!" I didn't bother to rhyme anything with three.

"Stop!" She screamed. My men readied their guns. But she lifted hers so I gestured for them to put their gun's down. I smiled. But she took me by surprise when she shot both of my men. Both were very accurate shots to the head. The Shive family released a plethora of screams. It took us all a moment to register what had happened.

I chuckled. "Well,"

Janie took a shallow breath and turned the gun to me.

"Get out, Joker."

"You weren't able to shoot one little broken family; you're not going to be able to shoot me."

"I will," She spoke through gritted teeth. "Now leave!"

This was laughable. I walked towards her. "You can't do it."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm all you've got. And you know it's true."

She fired a "warning" shot to the ceiling.

I gave her an incredulous look. "Really?"

-"Jane,"

I knew that voice. And briefly, I turned my head at the distraction. Batman had somehow showed up. I had mixed feelings about this.

"And just where have you been?" I accused, but he seemed to be focused on her.

"Put the gun down, it's okay." He told her.

His presence suddenly allowed her to start sobbing again; I really didn't like it when she cried. And I wasn't fond of how she just assumed that since Bats arrived, our conversation was over. But what I like the least was when she pays more attention to other people than to me. Especially him… I took the opportunity of uncertainty to grab her other arm and pull it toward me. I quickly yanked away the gun. She was actually listening to Bats. She knew exactly what made me tick.

"Joker, let her go."

"Right, because I'm going start doing what you say now." I shot at him. Everyone jumped and screamed at the sound, including Janie.

I could tell by the way he was moving that it wasn't fatal. But it hurt him pretty bad-and it had succeeded in stopping him from advancing toward me as I dragged Janie out of the apartment.

Her breaths were labored as we went down the stairs; she wouldn't have been able to keep up with me if I wasn't dragging her. But it was also because she was crying. I wasn't going to let that stop us from making record time to the complex doors. I did stop for a second, which was a mistake. It gave her a moment to catch her breath.

We walked outside and Zsasz was leaning against the car. He might not be a lot of things, but he was perceptive. One look from me and he simply started walking off into the night- clearly realizing that Janie and I needed our alone time.

I opened the passenger side of the car and tried to push her in. But she fought me. She pushed and shoved until we both were standing in the middle of the street.

"What, you think this makes me wrong?" I laughed. The occasion certainly did call for it. "You killed two people tonight without a second thought."

"I had to! And they were killers."

"So? Do they have different genetic makeup or different percentage of water and blood on the inside? They're just like that family, Doll and you killed them."

"I hate you," She seethed and pushed me again. "I hate you!" This time she pushed me to the ground and tried to walk off. That was it. I grabbed her by the ankle and yanked her down to the asphalt- and did she ever tumble down- with a resounding thud. I could hear the scratching of her legs against the pavement as she resisted. I pulled her to me. I had ripped a good deal of her jeans and her calves were all red and bloody. So were her arms.

Janie looked up at me, her sobbing was over. All that was left was residual tears.

"I can't," She spoke softly now, "I didn't have a choice."

"I wasn't threatening your life; you didn't have to do anything. Of course you had a choice."

"Fuck you," She shook her head and looked up to me, her eyes empty. If I wasn't successful in anything else- I had successfully exhausted all of her energy. She was almost as white as I am with the face makeup. She was drained.

"I'm going to throw up," She announced and turned. She coughed and gagged several times but nothing came out. There she went again, trying to further soften her plight. I let her be for a moment, but she wasn't getting sick. She just thought that was something people did- when they killed a person. It just further asserted my point. She wasn't like the rest of them.

"Come on, Janie. You're not getting sick." I smoothed back her hair.

"I am," She asserted. "I feel sick!"

"No, you don't."

"Don't…tell me what I feel! That's what you don't get." She sat up and leaned against the car.

I smirked. "I know exactly what you're feeling. You think that getting sick and feeling remorse is what normal people do. Well guess what, you're not one of the normal ones."

"That's the thing, I am. I'm not special, I'm not. There is nothing to set me apart from anyone else, nothing except my circumstance."

"Then how do you explain,"

"Nothing except you."

I gave her an incredulous look.

"Don't you see, you, you picked me. It's what you do…it's what you do with people. I'm no more different than that family you wanted me to kill in there. The only difference is that you care about me, you don't care about them."

I stared at her, wondering what exactly she was trying to say.

"You were right; it is only me and you…but only because of happenstance. It only happened because of a random turn of events. And," She closed her eyes. "I care about you. So much so, I put myself in these- horrible situations. I let you manipulate me, me and my life…all because I see it in you- you want to connect. And we did, we found that, we found that in each other. But you have all backwards- that's normal. Every human being feels like that. In that way, you're just like everyone else."

She stared back at me, waiting for a response. When I didn't reply, she sighed. "You might not understand what I'm talking about,"

"Don't insult me, Janie."

She slowly nodded. Her head lowered a bit. "I want to go. I'm exhausted, and you fucked up my legs and arms. I'm bleeding and they hurt like hell, you bastard."

I suddenly realized I had been too rough with her. I briefly felt bad about it- but it was the tapeworm imploding. Besides, she really took all the fun out of the situation with her crackpot theories and summations. I scooped her up. I carried her to the passenger seat of the cab and put her in.

…

I was out of apartments. Her energy wasn't the only thing that was drained; she had also drained a lot of my disposable resources. No matter, I went to the Neverglade Motel and broke into a room.

I carried her in and laid her on the bed. I sighed when I saw there were still stray tears in her eyes.

I shuffled through my pockets and handed her a pill. I got one of the glasses next to the sink and filled it with tap water. I returned and handed it to her.

"What is it?"

"Stop crying and go to sleep."

"What is it?" She repeated.

I giggled. "How would I know? All I know is that it makes you sleep."

"Forever?"

"Not unless Arkham has started a euthanizing policy. It's from there."

This seemed to be enough for her. She took the pill with a sip of water and sat the glass on the nightstand. She relaxed back onto the pillows.

I went to the bathroom and retrieved a wet a washcloth. Her legs and arms were really bloody. You could tell even more under the fluorescent lamp light. They needed to be cleaned off. When I finished, I stood up to put the washcloth away but she grabbed onto my tie.

"Don't leave," I let her tired little arm "pull" me down next to her. She moved herself closer and nuzzled into my chest.

"That pill is going to knock you out. I have to lie here with you without even having sex?"

"Yes," She declared simply.

I chuckled as she burrowed herself further into me. But truth of the matter was she was making me uneasy, her and the silence.

"Sing that song, Joker." She murmured.

"What song?"

"The one when you woke me up at Dr. Grant's…"

It took me a few moments to realize what she was talking about. "The Hearse Song?"

"Do you ever think, as the hearse goes by…" She started.

"…that you may be the next to die?" I finished- quite impressed that she knew the song as well as I did.

"They wrap you up in a long white sheet, from your head down to your feet,"

"They put you in a big black box, and cover you over with dirt and rocks,"

"And all goes well for about a week, and then the coffin begins to leak…"

"The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out…"

"…and that's what you eat when you are dead." She exclaimed- skipping several verses. But that pill was strong. She was out.

For all intents and purposes, she was deadweight. She was deadweight that was out cold. I could have got up any time I wanted. But I didn't feel like it.

…

Truthfully, I hate her just as much as she claims to hate me. But I'll admit I was in a bit of a tizzy when I woke up and she didn't seem to be moving. I had to take her pulse, just to be sure. But she was fine. I was just worried because I myself had slept 21 hours- a personal record. I had taken a pill, well two of them. I took one after realizing she wasn't getting up for a while. I took two when I realized that the one wasn't helping. But only because I didn't have anything better to do, and I had given her one so it was only fair. I guess the pill was a little strong for Janie girl, she probably could be knocked out with sleepy time tea, but the pill- it didn't kill her.

I decided I'd had enough holding my stiff, corpselike Cherry and went to relieve myself. When I came back, I sat at the edge of the bed and pulled out Zsasz' phone I had stolen.

He had a smart phone, equipped with all kinds of neat features.

I told the robot woman to find the address of all of Oswald Cobblepot's businesses. I took the complimentary pen and paper and wrote them all down.

"What are you doing?" Janie crooned as I turned around to look at her.

I laughed. Her hair was parted on the side of her head. But I kind of liked it that way though.

"What are you scheming now?"

"Our mutual friend, Cobblepot… It's time he was out of the picture."

Janie slowly nodded. "Okay, but not today."

I laughed, "What's that?"

"I don't want to do anything today; let's just going to stay here."

I was amused by this prospect. Well, if I couldn't stay put with Janie, I couldn't stay put with anyone.

"I'm hungry though," She announced.

…

It was evening, on whatever day it was. I think it was the middle of the week. It was still too bright outside for the hookers and pimps to prowl about outside so the place was virtually silent.

I took my elbow and broke the glass of the vending machine and told Janie to grab what she wanted. She took practically everything and made me carry most of it in my coat and pant pockets.

She looked around nervously.

"If people in the narrows moved around or reacted to the sound of broken glass, they'd never get anything accomplished."

Cherry nodded, still perceptibly weak as I guided her back to the room.

She sat back down on the bed while I went to get ice for her legs. I selflessly wrapped and nursed them while she made loud crunching sounds and turned on the bunny eared television.

There was a movie on about this low-level thief. His girlfriend didn't like that he was a thief. She was kidnapped by a hit man as ransom and when she fired this famous gun, (that was famous for firing backwards and killing the wielder) it fired correctly because of true love or something. I'd say that it really hit home but it was a stupid movie and that actress that I hate was in it.

Despite the abysmal cinema, I did watch an entire movie- over the span of two whole hours without thinking about anything else. This just verifies my earlier statement about how Janie can calm the restlessness- her palliative effect. Janie wasn't fully watching the movie either, but she wasn't saying anything. She was however holding onto me the whole time- as if to use her clutch as an actual anchor to keep me there. But it worked. I felt sated, and somewhat fulfilled. The whole realization made my skin crawl.

I guess she could feel my gaze because she turned her body over and laid face up in my lap.

She grabbed my tie again and twisted it in her fingers. She slowly urged it down to where she could kiss me. Her kisses almost tickled, they were soft. It was strange how soft they were.

I knew where this was going. She only had a t-shirt on, so that required little effort. And I've never had a problem with taking my clothes off for sex. But I didn't want to wait that long. I discarded my jacket and pulled down my trousers.

Her skin was freezing, but I had trouble looking at anything but her eyes. That's because for the first time, she was staring back at me- without protest. I kind of hated her for it.

And let me admit, fucking gently was not something I was akin to. Still now, it's not something I'm comfortable with. But whatever rhythm I had adopted, she was enjoying. That makes one of us…I mean, I was enjoying _it…_the sex, but there was something about the look in her eyes, something I needed to kill.

I took to speeding things up, but that didn't work, I still wanted her- she still wanted me. Something was too right, too wrong.

I quickly came, realizing she had to. I stared down at her for a moment, feeling a bunch of, prickly feelings. I'm a smart guy, but it would take a few doctors to figure this one out.

I looked down at her, my girl. She smiled, that incomparable smile when she was happy, at least sated. That was rare; I never get her to just be in the moment.

"Janie," I had addressed without realizing. We just stayed that way for a few moments. I stared at her, still wondering what was wrong. I took some strands of her silly, wild red hair and played with it as I lied on top of her. Her perky twenty-something breasts were pressing against my own chest. I smoothed her hair back and relaxed my hand on her neck. She turned her head and kissed my hand with her lips, grabbing my wrist and caressing it, clutching it.

Everything suddenly became quite heavy, the room was thick. It was full of it- whatever it was. I quickly sprung up from the bed, from our hold. I pulled up my pants and slipped on my shoes.

Janie sat up, staring at me. Her perfect little mouth hung agape in confusion. Or so I thought. She seemed to know exactly what was going on…even though I hadn't the slightest clue. She started shaking her head.

"Don't," She spoke in a low, frightened tone.

But I couldn't help it. I went to the door and opened it. I took one last glance at her. She looked at me like I'd just shot her or something. I didn't take another beat. I walked out and shut the door behind me.

…The night air was cold. Hookers and horny men were making deals, giving sleazy blow and hand jobs in the cold. If they paid a few extra bucks, they could share a warm bed. I could hear the sound of a gun in the distance. Someone was shot or killed for a gold watch or something. Superficially, it was business as usual. But there was something wrong with me. Something I couldn't place a finger, knife, or gun on. She knew, but she and I both knew it had something to do with her. And I wasn't going back in there to ask. So really, I was out of luck, because Jane is not the kind of girl that's going to come chasing after me.


	13. Kill the Clown

Chapter Thirteen: Kill the Clown

"_As the snake said to the dying girl, you knew _

_what I was when you saved me."_

Joker had spent all of his time pursuing me. It never even crossed my mind that he could run away, that he could leave. That wasn't even a possibility. But it happened. It happened and it hurt me in a way I could have never anticipated. It stabbed deeper and more powerful than any other pain he had inflicted upon me before. Suddenly, there was emptiness. It was, this dark void, a hole in the middle of my torso that I so desired to be filled. I rolled over and clenched the pillow with my fingers. I felt like a helpless child. My legs curled up to my chest, as if to assume the fetal position.

He was gone, he left. That realization kept echoing in my psyche. In his absence, I just laid there, with no concept of time or space. I was in shock. I was in shock because I had done the impossible. But simultaneously, I had failed. As soon as he realized what had transpired, he ran. He ran because he didn't want to understand what he was feeling, because it scared him. Because that part in him, the part that could feel, it was dead and buried. Someone or something had tried their damned-est to kill it a long time ago. How could he deal with something that he thought didn't exist?

My gullibility told me to stay put, to just not move. For when I moved, I would have to deal with the colossal clusterfuck that was my current state of being. I didn't want that because I would then have to settle with something else- a truth about myself- Joker hurt me more when he was gentle. I'd come to expect and even accept his harshness, his violence. But when he looked at me with kind eyes, and touched me with care, I would never recover from that. That's because I'd never connected with anyone deeply myself. It was easier to hate him. He'd done me a disservice by being human.

On the flipside, I might be a lot of things, but I am not naïve. There was never going to be a happy ending to this ordeal. Really, I needed to thank the stars I was alive. Joker was the epitome of the Jungian Destroyer. He wouldn't stop until he tore down the constructs and confinements of the world- the parts that didn't serve him. And he had to be stopped. There had to be a Champion, someone to rise up as his great nemesis; the Hero. I was no hero, there was no way in hell I was a hero. But I knew a hero.

I mustered the strength to sit up. I took a deep breath and allowed a tear to fall from my cheek. It was a tear for many things. But namely, it was a farewell. I bid farewell to this sick cycle carousel, this dark and twisted whirlwind I'd been on. It was time to do what I needed to do.

…

My pants were ripped to shreds, but they were better than nothing. I threw on my boots and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I splashed it with water a few times and looked in the mirror, trying to examine my resolve by the look in my eyes. I didn't look very strong. My face was pale and my eyes were still puffy from the plethora of tears I had shed. That didn't matter though. It was the only "me" I had to contend with at the moment, I would have to do.

I started to walk out of the room when I saw his discarded jacket on the floor. I immediately went over and picked it up. I took out all of the knives he had in it- except one. I kept the green one and put it in my pocket. I put on his coat and walked out the door.

Luckily, the tan police car was parked a few blocks down still- keys inside. I looked around and finally decided to get in it. I shut and locked the door and started the ignition. The worst that could happen was that I got arrested…and that was inevitable. It was going to happen eventually. I guess you could say I was at that point- I had nothing to lose.

…

As I drove down the road, I found myself thinking about Dr. Grant. Because of me, he was hospitalized. I really did care for him. And Joker was right; he really was a father figure to me. I also thought about the Butcher Shop- what they must think of me now. I've been on the news and I've been arrested, put in Arkham. In all likelihood, I would never speak to them again. That is, unless they came to visit me in prison. I was a wanted woman. Plus, there were also hardened criminals that wanted to kill me. So I guess getting arrested really wasn't the worst thing that could happen. I could get killed. Yeah, I'd forgotten about that. Luckily, there was still one sliver of hope left, once place I could go. I could go see Bruce Wayne.

I drove in circles for about half an hour. I monitored all the vehicles around me. When I was satisfied no one was following me, I made my way to the Palisades. To be even safer I pulled over about two miles out. His identity was too important for me to slip up and reveal. It was bigger than me and my issues. I parked the car near a pond on the side of the road. I started to walk off when I realized that someone might notice it passing by. So I got back in, backed it up- and drove it into the pond. The ice was frozen, but the weight of the vehicle quickly broke it. I watched it as it sunk. Despite everything I'd been through, I have to admit that was kind of exhilarating.

What wasn't exhilarating was the two mile walk in the blistering cold. I tried to walk briskly, but I was feeling pains all over my body- Discomforts I'd been too distracted to realize were there. I felt pangs in my left side, and bruises all over. The wind stung my scraped up legs and chapped my face. Whenever I heard a car, I dove to the side and hid myself in the snow. The last thing I needed was someone noticing me.

I'd finally got there I guess about forty-ish minutes later. It was very dark, and I was fifty percent sure I was in the early stages of hypothermia again. I was more than thankful that I'd taken Joker's coat.

I really didn't know what I was going to say, but I went ahead and knocked. After a few moments, a stout, respectful looking older man opened the door. He gave me a once over- staring at what I assumed was an awfully haggard appearance. I wrapped my arms around myself and tried as best as I could to smile.

"Hello, I'm…"

"I know who you are. I watch the news, Miss."

I nodded; it was perfectly fair that he wasn't a fan. "I'm here to…" I decided to drop the pretense; there was no sense in it. "Is he okay?"

"Whom are you referring to, Miss?"

"Bat- Bruce. Is he okay?"

The man immediately showed signs of shock and surprise- cluing me in on the fact that I wasn't the only one who knew Bruce's secret. He seemed more shocked than I was.

"I think you'd better come inside." He opened the door further. I nodded, even more embarrassed of how I looked and was behaving. He allowed me to walk in and shut the large door behind me.

I was a little overwhelmed at the difference in temperature. But I welcomed the relief. I suddenly realized I was not only cold, but wet.

"May I take your coat?"

_My coat?_ I almost laughed. But I suddenly remembered I was in civil company now. That was inappropriate. My hands were involuntarily clenching Joker's coat. I was clinging onto it- as if it would make a difference…as if I kept it he would come back. Deep down, I knew that wouldn't happen. The coat was all I had left. I couldn't, wouldn't let it out of my sight. It was only then that I noticed the man was still waiting for an answer.

I shook my head. "No, thank you. I'll keep it with me."

His eyes widened as we walked into the light of the entryway. He stared at worn-down appearance.

I tried to shrug it off. "I've uh, recently been in a few tumbles."

He shrugged. "You're not the only one in this household."

...

Shortly after, he introduced himself as Alfred Pennyworth. I should've known that's who he was. People always talked about him and how he was Bruce Wayne's faithful butler. But I had a feeling he was a lot more than that- sort of Bruce's version of Dr. Grant.

He took me up an enormous staircase. I followed him down what seemed a never ending hall. We passed a procession of rooms before we finally entered one. Alfred opened the door.

Bruce was in a bed, but sitting on the side of it. His back was facing me and he was tending to a bandage on his side. My eyes closed in relief. At least Bruce was sitting up. At least he could do that much. I really didn't know where Joker had shot him. It all happened so fast and I was in my own state of altered psychosis at the time.

Bruce must've heard the door open because he began to speak. "I'm not seeing visitors, Alfred. You know that."

"Yes, but she's not asking after Bruce Wayne, she's asking after Batman."

Bruce turned around from the bed and stood up. He stared at me with an unreadable glance. My mouth hung open; I didn't know what to say.

I could see him more clearly now. He had bandages wrapped around his stomach, and left shoulder. I closed my eyes, somehow thinking I could wish his injuries away. Unlike Joker, he'd gotten hurt because he was trying to protect people, a whole city, in fact.

Alfred took the queue and left the room. I swallowed, suddenly feeling a swarm of embarrassment, shame, and guilt. But nevertheless, I walked towards him.

Bruce walked towards me as well. But both our steps were measured, neither of us really knew how to react.

When we were face to face, I just stood there. I looked straight at him as he seemed to be thoroughly examining my appearance.

"You're hurt?"

Relieved he spoke first, I let out a sigh. "I'm okay." I allowed myself a small smile.

"Are you sure?"

Now, that wasn't a fair question. I wasn't sure of anything. I was a mess. But there was no need for me to break down. This was bigger than me. I shook my head. "I'll survive…and you?"

Luckily he allowed himself to smile as well. He shrugged and smirked. "It's only a flesh wound."

I laughed. "So you watch a lot of Monty Python?"

Bruce gave me a befuddled look. He had no idea what I was talking about.

I shook my head. He's too busy beating up hardened criminals every night. "Nothing,"

There was a knock on the door. We both turned and Alfred walked back in. He had a robe, slippers, and a change of clothes in his hands.

"I thought our guest could use a nice hot shower. I took the liberty of putting her in one of the guest rooms as well. Shall I show her to it or…"

"Thanks, Alfred, I'll show her."

"Very well." Alfred nodded and handed me the robe and clothes. Bruce gestured for me to follow him.

…

I was thankful for the shower. I know it sounds inane, but coming here was hard, psychologically. I knew it was only going to get worse in that department. I tried not to think about it. I closed my eyes. But that presented another problem. With eyes closed, the persistence of my memory prevailed. I travelled back to the last shower I took, with Joker. I tried not to think about the way he held me. I tried not to remember kissing his scars, and just staying there, letting the water wash away all our worries, all our sins.

I had to open my eyes. But when I did, I saw blood going down the drain. It was my blood from my various injuries. The sight frightened me and I jumped. In the process, I slipped and fell. I plummeted down; the hard porcelain tub met my back with anger, knocking the wind out of me.

I just laid there for a moment, letting the water fall as I caught my breath. After a few moments, I sat up and pulled my legs to my chest. I hugged them tightly. I realized this was the first time in days, maybe weeks that I'd had to just be. I'd been in a constant state of flux, in chaotic motion. Somehow, even though I'd probably just bruised my tailbone, I was at ease.

I stayed in the shower way too long. I was probably in there for over an hour, but when I emerged, Bruce was sitting at a table in the corner of the room next to the window. I pressed my lips to a curtly smile and sat down across from him.

There was food, a lot of food sitting out before me. I had to withhold my excitement and address him first.

"If my Mom saw how I was behaving, she would have scolded me for taking advantage of such generous hospitality."

"There's no need for that." He assured. He was being too nice to me. He was always too nice. I scolded myself for once thinking otherwise.

Bruce picked up a fork and started to eat, so I followed suit. I was terribly hungry. But I couldn't help but notice what an ordeal it was for him. Every slight movement of his body was a chore.

I sat my fork down and looked up at him.

"Bruce, I'm so..."

"That family," He started, ignoring my sappy apology. "They were the family of a police officer that was on the case of your father's death."

Well, he dove right into it, as usual.

"I'm sorry." He spoke suddenly.

I took a breath, having no idea why he was apologizing. I shook my head. "Why? There's no reason,"

"I should have gotten there sooner."

I shook my head again. "They're alive, that's all that matters." I swallowed. This was one of the most painful conversations I'd ever had.

"You were threatening Joker when I came in."

I slowly nodded.

"I need you to tell me what happened."

I took a deep breath. "Well, I'd upset him. He wanted to somehow prove that I wasn't,"

"No, Jane." He stopped my speech and looked up to me. "Tell me everything."

My mouth hung open. You'd think I'd be out of tears by now. Unfortunately that wasn't the case. My heart was fluttering. I tried to dial it back, but the panic had already set in.

I suddenly felt his hand on mine. He grabbed it, and squeezed it firmly. I looked him in the eyes.

"You need to tell me everything." He repeated. "If you're here why I think you're here, I need to know what you know."

I shook my head. I could taste a tear that had already reached my lips. "What if," my voice cracked, "What if you hate me?" I spoke in a whisper, not realizing how high I'd held his opinion until then.

He shook his head. "It's not about me. It's not about you either."

I understood what he was saying, and he was absolutely right. However, that didn't make it any less painful. I closed my eyes. A surge of memories returned. They were violent, visceral, and still painfully fresh.

…

Bruce listened to the long, grueling tale the best that he could. I wasn't any kind of orator. I just described what had happened to the best of my ability… without elaborating on the uncomfortable parts, but simultaneously not withholding just because talking about them made me uncomfortable.

I had no idea what he was thinking. Bruce was dark and brooding. He always had an unreadable look on his face. His thoughts were collected, calculated, measured. In this way, he was the antithesis to Joker. He had darkness in him, yes. But he didn't wear it unabashedly like a banner. Instead, he kept it buried; only using it as a measure of protection- for whatever the world was going to throw at him.

That's why I waited. I didn't push it. I just waited until he was done evaluating my story to speak. He would comment when he needed to- when he'd figured out the correct thing that he wanted to say. But, being around the Joker had changed me. I'm not going to lie; I had lost most all of my ability to be patient.

"I would never want you to get hurt…Or anyone else for that matter."

"Better me than the family," He responded to my relief. I let out a deep breath I seemed to have been holding in. At least he could still talk to me after knowing everything. But now it seemed to leave the air thick, I had a couple of my own questions.

"I know I have, absolutely no right to ask, but -What happened on the night at the college? What happened to Dr. Grant…the night I was taken to Arkham?"

Bruce looked up to me. "The Joker didn't…"

"That was when I had shot him with the tranquilizer gun. He wouldn't have been able to."

"All I know was that I was in worse shape than I realized," He continued. "Oswald Cobblepot's men had stabbed me. There was something on the knife, some type of organic toxin that I still haven't identified. But it made me weak. I heard the police and I fled. I knew that if I stayed, I'd risk the chance of being seen or caught. I was in no condition to help anyone. And frankly, when I heard you were put in Arkham, I thought you'd be safe at least temporarily."

I nodded, that was fair.

"How did Joker get you and himself out of Arkham?"

"Well, he had Dr. Crane to help."

"Jonathan Crane?"

I nodded. "But there has to be someone, someone at Arkham that Joker got to. He didn't tell me but that place was pretty heavily secured. He had to of had someone else helping him. What I don't get is who called the police in the first place-That night at the school before I got sent to Arkham."

"A call was put out from your Professor's cell phone."

"I'm sorry," I apologized yet again.

"He did what he thought necessary to protect you."

"So now we're both up to speed. All that's left is actually catching him, and keeping him in Arkham for good."

Bruce had a concerned look on his face. "There's one thing I don't understand."

I took a breath. "What's that?"

"Why now? What happened to give you that push to come here?"

I could tell Bruce everything else- even about our less romantic sexual encounters. But that last time, I couldn't share that with anyone.

"I can't."

He nodded, seeming to somehow understand.

"But it doesn't matter," I added. "You were right, you were always right. He needs to be put away for good. I don't want to help you, but I need to. And I will." I spoke, trying to convince myself that my words were true. I wanted them to be- For his sake, but mostly for mine.

My answer seemed to help him. The smallest hint of a smile traced the outline of his lips.

"Alright," He spoke decidedly.

"Do you," I couldn't believe I was asking. "Do you think we can do it?"

"Joker is unpredictable. As an adversary, I never know what to expect. That is, unless it concerns you."

I could feel my cheeks burning. I hated myself for it. I felt like a little girl.

"His predictability, somehow, is just as dangerous. But at least I can count on it."

"I don't know if he still…"

"He does." Bruce interrupted.

I was thoroughly embarrassed. This wasn't a normal conversation you had with a person. I was turning red all over.

"But we should start all this tomorrow. No offense, but you look as if you're about to fall over. And I'm not that much better." He teased, alleviating some of the tension as he rose from the table.

"Thank you, Bruce." I looked up to him. He stopped and stood before me.

"Goodnight, Jane." He spoke in a tender voice, placing a hand on my cheek. I closed my eyes. When he removed his hand, it somehow provoked me to stand up.

I just stared at him. He was taller than Joker. His frame, even despite his various injuries was solid, strong. He was the epitome of strength. And me? I was just a leech, a parasite… I wanted to draw that strength from him and collect it for myself. I craved it.

I stood up on the balls of my feet and kissed his cheek. I'd put my hand on his shoulder and left it there. My mind told me to let go, but I didn't listen. Instead I slid it down to his chest.

He was attracted to me, and I to him. That's why he leaned down to kiss me. Like before, it wasn't because we were in love. It was because we both needed it, that's how we connected. Deep down in our wiring, there was a mutual longing- a hollowness that bonded us together.

He released from the kiss first, looking down at me like any interested man would. But, being a gentleman, he turned for the door.

"Don't go." I spoke before even thinking. My voice was low and hoarse- its origins echoing from somewhere other than my throat.

He turned to look at me, observably wary of my request.

I felt a chill rundown my spine. I was making myself nervous. I used to never be this direct, but let's face it, I was different.

"I just, I don't want to be alone." I spat out quickly. "I don't think you do either."

He stared at me for what seemed an eternity. Honestly, I didn't blame him. I gave him a small nod and went to the bed.

I crawled under the sheets as the lights went out- in efforts to spare him my awkward staring; I turned my body away from the door. But that was unnecessary. My heart skipped a beat when I felt the weight of the bed shift; he crawled in next to me. It took me a second, but I turned to face him.

He made a few groans of discomfort as he tried to settle in. In vain, he reached for a pillow to put behind his back. I sat up and helped him get it situated. I laid down next to him, placing my hand on his stomach, right below his bandaged chest. For a moment, I felt a sort of calm, I think he did too. This allowed us both to fall asleep.

But that's when my peace ended. I started to dream.

…

I dreamt that I was approaching the club- the club of Maroni's that I'd recently visited in my conscious state. At least, that's where I thought I was. This time, I was a VIP. The bouncer used his hand to beckon me forward. I went to the front of the line and he unhooked the red velvet rope for me to enter.

The club looked the same. But it was all smoky inside. It was just as crowded as I'd remembered, maybe more so.

But there was something different about the clientele. They were moving, sure- but their dancing was in slow motion. Their moves were almost robotic, as if they were hypnotized into doing so. The music was muffled, as if the record on the turntable was left unattended- and it continued to repeat the same sound, the same part of the song over and over. But no one seemed to notice. They just kept swaying mindlessly.

I was in the middle of the club now, trying to make my way to the back exit. I'd had enough; I wasn't supposed to be there.

As I tried to work my way out, I bumped into a man. I apologized and looked up to his face. My eyes widened. His face was painted like Joker's. I had no idea who he was. I asked him why his face was made up like that, but he didn't respond. He didn't even seem to notice that I was talking to him. He just pushed past me and grabbed onto a woman. They began swaying, dancing like everyone else.

As I looked around, I realized everyone's face was painted up like Joker's. Except, instead of red lipstick- it was blood that made their lips red. Blood was flowing freely out of all of their mouths. My urgency to leave heightened- causing me to run. I ran and ran, knowing only a few more steps and I'd be at the back door.

I finally made it, but he was standing in my way. He's always in my way.

I shook my head. "I don't belong here." I told him.

Joker smiled, unconvinced. I looked down at his arms- drenched in other people's blood. It was dripping from his fingertips. I then looked back into his eyes. His eyes horrify me. They hold more than I want to know.

He was holding the green knife. He lifted it to the level of his face. I jumped in alarm. But he didn't use it to stab me. He stuck it in his mouth and poked it through his cheek- making his scar a fresh wound. He repeated the same with the other side of his cheek. All the while, he never stopped staring at me.

When he finished, he threw the knife aside and approached. He scooped me up and kissed me. His face smashed into mine. I could taste his fresh blood in my mouth.

I knew I needed to let go, but I couldn't. I allowed the kiss to continue.

When he released, he wiped the blood off my lips with his fingers, only smearing it further.

I looked around- I realized why the club was smoky now. It was on fire. Pieces of the foundation were falling around us. I trembled. I could barely see the people now, the flames were growing higher. It was reminiscent of the fire at my Dad's shop. I shook in terror and looked back to Joker. He turned me around and wrapped his arm around my stomach, pressing my backside into his front.

"Janie," he spoke with an unnervingly tranquil whisper. "You don't have to be afraid of it."

"Why not?"

"The blood jet is poetry, and there is no stopping it."

"No," I whispered in defiance. His words brought tears to my eyes.

"There's no stopping it."

"No!" I screamed.

…

I shot up from the bed. I was in a cold sweat and my heart was pounding. I could taste blood on my tongue. I moved it across my mouth and realized I'd bitten my lip. I ran my fingers through my hair and moved the strands from my face. Bruce had sat up as well. He looked over to me.

"What's wrong, Jane?"

I turned to him, the moonlight only shined in slightly. The room was mostly dark. But I saw his eyes; they held care- and genuine concern. It was painful to receive.

I shouldn't have come to him for help. Bruce was just going to end up getting hurt- he already had gotten shot. I was poison, poison to everyone because of how I felt- because of my choices. I couldn't stay. I mean, it wasn't as if he was weak or in need of my protection- I simply owed it to him. I had no right to rely on him. He needed someone looking out for him, for a change.

"I can't stay here."

"What do you mean?"

"I have to go,"

"No, Jane…" His arm found my shoulder in efforts to comfort me. But I let it slide off as I got out of the bed. I moved away from him and went to my clothes on the table. I started taking off the nightclothes Alfred had provided me and tried to put on my clothes.

I pulled the nightshirt over my head, but I felt resistance- Bruce grabbed it and pulled it back down. He turned me to face him.

"Jane,"

"No," I shook my head. "All I do is…I'm toxic." I whispered. Of course, the waterworks followed. Bruce pulled me in. He rested his chin on my head.

"Just stop." He spoke simply. My body tensed, but I didn't resist his touch. This wasn't fair. Now I'd incited him to comfort me…What is it with guys and crazy girls? I was acting like a total fucking psycho- multiple moods and personalities included. But somehow he took it in stride, as if he understood. Who am I kidding, he probably did.

I stood on my toes and kissed him again, but deeper this time. I held his face lightly in my hands - suddenly; my need for comfort grew into something entirely different. I reached to take off my shirt. This time there was no resistance on his part. I staggered back towards him to merge our bodies. Too short to reach his lips, I kissed his lower neck, feeling the warmth of his skin on my lips. We stumbled backwards together; he lowered himself to sit on the bed. He had my waist in his hands; pulling my hips forward as he kissed my chest. His face rested on it. I raised my head back to the ceiling, pressing further into him. He laid back and I toppled forward. I caught myself before falling on him, cognizant of his wounds. I felt like a predator, but I knew better. I was only a predator because he was allowing me to be. His attention, his touch- it somehow was my atonement. He was healing me with every act. His hand ran up the side of my face, I melted my cheek into his touch, I closed my eyes.

But his face wasn't the one I saw. I tried to push Joker out of my mind, but his persistence was something I could not fight off, even in his absence.

I then realized I'd suspended motion. I opened my eyes and looked down at him. He was so handsome. His strong cheekbones contorted a bit as he swallowed. Bruce could read right through me. I must be a very transparent person…or it's probably the men I keep in my company- they're just that instinctual.

I couldn't look away. I had to express myself- to ask for forgiveness through my stare. Some of my tears fell from my face to his chest. One fell on his cheek. I looked away and slid off of him.

Once again, I returned to my clothes. I got dressed as quickly as possible and started for the door.

"Jane," He called.

I turned back to him shakily, not knowing if I could handle looking at him once more.

"Don't do this." He asked, rather than warned.

"I'm sorry," I swallowed and quickly headed out the door.

I made a resolution not to cry anymore. I realized I was practically holding my breath as I ran down the stairs. I tried to walk as quickly as I could as I approached the front door.

"Leaving us so soon, Miss?"

I jumped at the sound of Alfred's voice. I turned around to look at him.

"Are you sure you can't wait until morning?"

His presence was something I'd completely forgotten about. Somehow, he made me feel just as guilty as Bruce. "I can't risk him getting hurt again." Was that why I was leaving? At that point, I had no idea.

"Miss Archer, I have known that stubborn man upstairs all of his life. His choices are his and his alone."

I nodded. "That may be, but he's not going to get hurt because of me. I have to clean up my own mess. I have to."

He nodded, seeming to understand somehow. "You should at least take a vehicle. It's well below freezing out there."

"I can't,"

"It's one thing to be hasty, a whole other to be foolish. We have several cars, some that aren't too ostentatious." He started walking off and gestured for me to follow him.

He led us to an enormous garage. There were at least a dozen cars and vehicles.

"Might I suggest the Wrangler? It's not too extravagant, and it will do well out on the icy roads."

"I can't…"

"You can, and you will. After all the adventures you've been through, it would be quite senseless to freeze to death." He went to the wall and grabbed the keys. He came back and handed it to me.

I wanted to ask him why, why was he doing this? But I think I knew- both Alfred and I had the same intent- protecting Bruce.

"And take this as well," Alfred reached into his pocket and took out his wallet. He handed me some money. "With what you're about to embark upon, I imagine it will help."

I took the money and nodded. I didn't want to take it, but I wanted to leave before Bruce came down. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I trust you have good intent, Miss. And I wish you good luck."

I got into the Jeep as Alfred opened the garage. I gave him a nod and took off into the night.

…

The cold vehicle was a stark contrast to the warm mansion. However, I was almost positive I did the right thing. But let's be honest, my conviction in any matter could easily be questioned.

I was certainly a woman of dubious or questionable sanity, given the current situation. I was also horrified as to how closely my action mirrored that of Joker...in more ways than one. Had I just done to Bruce what Joker did to me? I was too appalled at myself to contemplate that any further. I had no plan, and now I had no hero. But to be brutally honest, I didn't run to Bruce because I needed a hero- I needed a friend. I needed comfort- strength- a luxury I didn't deserve. Bruce didn't unleash Joker, I had. I'd released him the day I decided to cut his ropes free in the library. Ever since, I was responsible. And I needed to come to terms with that.

I realized when I pulled into Gotham city limits that I was going 20 miles over the speed limit. Thank God the Jeep was a 4x4. I really hadn't been paying attention to my driving.

I took a deep breath and let off the accelerator a bit. I was a mess- in every sense of the word. But I was determined. Strength of will was my only defense at this point.

I pulled into a convenient store parking lot and shut off the Wrangler. I walked in and went straight to the cosmetic aisle. I grabbed two boxes of hair color and then went to the laundry section. I found some fabric dye and grabbed it as well.

I went to the register and dumped my selections. I took two water bottles out of the cooler and snatched a bag of beef jerky from under the counter.

The man gave me a strange look as he rang up my items.

"Paper or plastic?"

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I'd barely realized he spoke. I looked up to him.

"What?"

"Paper or plastic?" He repeated, studying me more intently now.

"Plastic, please."

He put the items in a bag and told me my total. I handed him some cash. He continued to stare as he opened the register to get change.

"You look familiar."

That was all I needed to hear. I grabbed the sack and started walking.

"Hey, your change?"

"Keep it!" I yelled as I pushed my way out the door…Whatever adrenaline that was driving me, I prayed it would last.

I went back to the motel Joker had brought me to. I parked the car a couple blocks away and broke in a room as he did. I took a different room, though. The room next to the one we had shared.

I locked the deadbolt and the chain-lock behind me. I went straight to the bathroom.

I took the hair dye out of the sack and opened the boxes. I assembled the ingredients and began to apply it.

About an hour later, I was a dark brunette. It was a little overwhelming to say the least- I'd never been anything but my natural red. It was a bit of a shock. But I kind of liked it. I embraced it as I looked into the mirror with a sideways smile- a smile I didn't recognize.

I left the room now, in search of the motel washer and dryer.

After a brief walk, I found it. Surprisingly, both machines worked. I took Joker's jacket and made sure all the pockets were empty. I filled the washer with water and put the jacket in. I also put in the black fabric dye.

About an hour and a half later, I had a new coat. The deep purple was gone. It was now black, no longer discernible as a costume.

I put it on after it dried and went back to the Jeep. I headed straight for the hospital. As long as I was in this mess, Dr. Grant was in danger. And I'd be damned if Joker or anyone else was going to try and hurt him.

I felt a swell of confidence as I walked down the halls. No one seemed to recognize me- which was kind of exhilarating. I did, however have to wait until the nurse left Dr. Grant's room for me to slip in.

Dr. Grant was sitting up now, watching television.

"Jesus H. Christ, kid. What…"

"Look," I interrupted. "Let's skip this. You know you were right, but right now I need to you trust me. I'm alone- and I need you to come with me."

"Archer, I don't know what you're cooking but…"

"It's about to get ugly, and I won't have you getting anymore," I sighed. "You're the closest thing I have to family, and I won't let you get hurt. And trust me, if you stay here, someone is going to come and try."

"Kid,"

"Please, just- come on damn it." I bit my lip, hoping he would pick up the weight and sincerity in my words.

Dr. Grant sighed. I sighed as well when I realized he was complying. He got out of the hospital bed and ripped out his IV. It was only then I realized that I hadn't thought this through. What if he needed to stay in the hospital?

"Is there anything you need? Any medicine?"

Dr. Grant took a bag of clear liquid off its hook and sealed it up. He put it in a plastic bag along with his IV needle.

"Got enough morphine to knock out a horse…And lucky for old Kingsley here, the gunshot didn't hit any of my vi-tal organs."

I closed my eyes; they stung- being I was now face to face with repercussions for my actions.

Dr. Grant put on his hospital robe and grabbed his cowboy boots from the corner of the room. He sat in the chair and pulled them on.

"Where are we going, Kiddo?"

I opened the door and scanned the hallway. "I'll let you know when we make it to the car."

…

Making our way out of the hospital was easier than I thought. I'd even been brash enough to have the valet park the Jeep. I rolled Dr. Grant out in a wheelchair and handed the valet the ticket.

"Going home today?" The valet asked when he returned with the Jeep.

"Yep, my niece was nice enough to fly in from Memphis to pick me up."

"How nice." The valet acknowledged as he opened the door for Dr. Grant. I grinned. It was amazing how seamless this whole process had been.

But, as usual, I'd spoke too soon. I looked back in the hospital and there were three or four security guards running towards us.

"Alright, thank you." I reached over Dr. Grant's lap and shut the door. I retracted back to the driver's seat and peeled off.

Dr. Grant looked in his side mirror and shook his head. "Whew, it's colder than a witch's tit' in this thing, kid. And you shut my damn robe in the door." He opened the door and pulled his robe in and shut it. "Turn the heat up, will ya?"

I was conflicted, emotionally. I blamed this on various things…Normally, his southern quips and humor made me smile, laugh. But at this moment, I felt an overwhelming guilt that because of me this great man's life was almost cut short.

"Dr. Grant, I'm so, so…"

"Look, let's not. Like you said, you're like family. You don't have to. Just let it be. We can work all of that out later…"

Predictably, I was tearing up. But I nodded in agreement. "Okay,"

"Now, where we going?"

"To my Mom and Stepdad's."

"Nancy's? Man, you really are pulling straws if you want to see them."

I shook my head. "They're in Morocco. I looked up their address. You're going to their beach house."

"Wait a minute, just me?"

"That's right."

"Pump the brakes. You're not going off the rails and doing something stupid."

I shook my head. "After I drop you off, I'm going to the police." I informed. I was lying. I had no idea what I would do.

Dr. Grant was silent for a moment. "Are you sure,"

"No one will look for you there. You'll be safe. And like I said, there are going to be people, dangerous people looking to exploit my weaknesses. It's going to get worse before it gets better. I want," I shook my head. "I need to know that no more harm comes to you because of me and this fucked up situation."

"Whatever you're planning,"

"I'm not planning anything." I lied. "I just want you safe until this blows over. And like I said- no one will look for you there. Think of it as the sabbatical that the university never gave you."

"I'm not much for sabbaticals."

I grinned. "Well think of it as ethnographic research. You can study uppity stuck up Wasps in their natural habitat."

Dr. Grant snickered.

We pulled into the driveway. It's funny, she's my Mother and I'd never been to her house. That brought up a whole tidal wave of issues. But I really didn't need any more of those at the moment.

I did know where she hid the spare key. It was under the flowerpot as she did when I was a child. I grabbed it and let Dr. Grant and myself in.

He was quiet as he looked around. Dr. Grant put his things on the kitchen counter and sat on a bar stool.

"You sure you know what you're doing?"

I smiled, trying to hold back laughter. I had no fucking clue. I couldn't even think about what would happen in the next few hours. The uncertainty of my future- of everything was too overwhelming.

"Yes," I lied, trying to speak as calmly as possible.

"What's your plan?"

"The less you know the better." I responded quickly as I started for the door. Well that part was at least true.

"Archer, get back here a minute."

I sighed. The longer I stayed, the sadder I got. I really wanted to go. But I did as he said and sat down next to him.

"Jane, don't be a dumbass."

I furrowed my brow. "What?"

"Take whoever's Jeep that is out there and hit the road. I really do have family in Memphis; you could go there or something."

I shook my head. "I have to do this. You were right, when you told me at the hospital- I know better. But I'm responsible for,"

"You're not!" Dr. Grant cut me off. He gripped my arm tightly. "You're responsible for yourself. But you sure as hell are not responsible for that psycho clown. Don't you dare."

"You don't understand."

"Like hell I don't. You're running around like you're some goddamn vigilante yourself. You're a smart kid, but think about it. Just leave. You're smart enough to get by. If you go back into Gotham, you're signing your own warrant…or maybe even death certificate."

I yanked my arm from his grasp. I was shaking as I stood up and backed towards the door. This was the second time that day I was running away from someone that was good, someone that was trying to help me. I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye. I just stared at him for a moment. He looked back at me with sad, disappointed eyes. I couldn't bare it any longer. I turned around and left.

…

I had to reconcile with the fact that he could leave whenever he wanted- of his own volition. You can't control people's will no matter how hard you try. It was a basic truth about human nature…a basic truth Joker certainly struggled with. But in his defense, he was certainly a connoisseur if not the connoisseur of challenging such notion.

I was tragically infatuated with him. I thought about him relentlessly. There was an undeniable confidence in his actions. They had hardly any forethought; I was the opposite. I couldn't do anything without feeling I'd made the wrong choice. The deeper and deeper I'd gotten into all this- the smaller and smaller I felt. Maybe the only way to survive in this new reality was to be a little more like Joker. If I merely did what I desired- only what I found suitable in the moment…I could be free. Free of the guilt, free of insistent empathy. I could lose myself in indifference. It was an alluring prospect, alluring yet horrifying.

-I felt as if I should write a list- a list of issues I needed to discuss with my prison therapist. That is, if they provided me with one.

I reached Gotham at about sunrise and pulled over at a gas station to fill up the Jeep. I now needed to figure out what I was going to do. None of my options were ideal, but I did have a couple.

I could go to the police. It was simple enough. I would get arrested and Joker would maybe come for me. But I still wasn't as convinced as Bruce was. Joker was through with me. And even if he wasn't- they'd tried that scenario before and that didn't exactly work out in their favor. Joker easily outsmarted them.

I could try and find him myself- somehow detain and turn him in on my lonesome. But something told me that was far easier said than done.

I started to really regret leaving Bruce. He'd wanted to help me and honestly he was probably the only one that could. But, like everything else I fudged that up. Truth of the matter was, it wasn't my attraction to Bruce that scared me- but the fact that I felt guilty about it.

I told myself to push that out of my mind. I'd have plenty time to think about that whilst I rotted away behind bars. I needed to focus. People had been hurt because of me. I could have stopped it, but I didn't. I wasn't a very strong-willed person. But in order to stop Joker, I needed to be.

No, neither of my plans was going to work. I needed to think outside the box. And when I say outside the box, I mean I needed to think like Joker. The only way to assure his attention was to outshine him. If I could somehow play every angle- if I weaved a web with enough thread, tangled it up enough- maybe I could prevail.

My aforementioned confidence and momentum was quickly starting to fade. It was replaced by that familiar panic- a realization- the acknowledgement of my insignificant placement in the universe. There was an overwhelming sorrow that came along with that. The sorrow came simultaneously with a familiar longing for someone to tell me otherwise- a particular someone.

I couldn't do this in this expedient manner of which I desired. I would have to think more about it. I had gotten some sleep, but I felt my body and mind needing more.

I got back in the Jeep and headed back to the motel- the motel I had not paid for three times now. I went in the same room I had colored my hair in- the one next to the one I'd shared with Joker. I locked the doors and laid myself down on the bed. I closed my eyes.

I didn't dream this time, thankfully. But I awoke to the sound of something crashing or smacking against the wall. My eyes shot open and I sat up. No one was in my room. I heard the sounds again. They were coming from next door- the room next to mine.

My heart fluttered. It had to be him. He'd come back. I took a moment, trying to collect myself. It was stupid, emotional, and unwise- but all I wanted to do was see him. I wanted to just see him. It was amazing how quickly my plans to catch him and turn him in flew out the window. I just wanted him. I wanted to see him. This was a problem, a problem I wasn't ready to deal with. That's why I decided not to go. I couldn't face him. I couldn't face him without faltering.

I crept to the front facing window and tried to squint to see through the blinds. I couldn't see anything so I took a breath and lowered the blind with my finger. I jumped out of my skin when I saw a face looking back at me.

I screamed and stumbled back to the bed. I don't know who it was, but it wasn't Joker.

I decided to stay put, I kept feeling the knife in my jean pocket, just to make sure it was there.

Abruptly, they started slamming on the door. They fumbled with the lock and got it open, but the chain lock was preventing them from getting in. But that didn't last long. Two large men worked together and the door flew open.

It wasn't Joker, it was Cobblepot. He was accompanied by Zsasz and two henchmen. They all walked in. Zsasz, as usual, gave me an unreadable gaze.

Cobblepot grinned. "How convenient, take her." With a wave of his hand, his two men had grabbed both sides of me. I struggled stubbornly but it was in vain.

"How the hell did you find,"

"Victor's phone… All of my employees have tracking devices on their phones. I make sure of that. You and your boyfriend took it and used the data. It was simple." He looked around in the room. "I'm surprised to find you here by yourself, though. Is there trouble in paradise?"

I swallowed. I thought it best to keep quiet. There was no sense in speaking.

Oswald smirked. "You seem less self-assured than before. Did something happen? Or did I just catch you on an off night?"

I was at a loss. I had no idea what to do. I almost looked to Zsasz, but quickly realized he was probably my only lifeline. It was probably best I didn't cash my only token in too soon.

"Alright, let's go. This place is a horrid." Cobblepot gestured for his men to take me and leave.

His men turned me around. It was then I saw a gun in a holster of the man to the right of me. Without thinking, I snatched it and shot him in the foot. The man yelped and fell to the ground.

I took the gun and twirled around towards the other man. But Cobblepot quickly snatched it from me and smacked me across the face with it. It hit my cheekbone, scraping it. My face hardened. I was kind of proud though, that I didn't fall over. I slowly rose upright and stared at him.

"…after I was so hospitable to you." He waved his hand, gesturing for his able man to grab me.

"Tie her up this time. Don't we keep handcuffs about?" He started as he walked out of the room. "And Jesus, Victor what do I pay you for? Help out!"

Zsasz looked at me and grabbed my free arm. "C'mon," He murmured.

…

We arrived at a club I assumed was his- a strip club. But being it was morning, the place was completely empty.

It was dark, naturally there were no windows. The whole place was covered in black carpet. The walls weren't decorated with anything but neon lights advertising alcohol.

"Put her up there," Oswald's man and Zsasz lifted me up on the stage in the center of the room. I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. They took off Joker's jacket and threw it on the floor.

"Cuff her to the pole."

They did as Cobblepot suggested. I tried not to show fear. I concentrated on keeping my breathing steady. I watched as Oswald lit a cigar.

His men had stepped away from me now. Oswald walked up the steps and stood in front of me on the stage. He gave me a once over glance, starting at my face and down to my feet.

He shook his head. "You don't have the legs to be a dancer." He spoke and kicked them out from under me.

I fell over, but the handcuffs caught my fall just before my face smacked on the stage floor. I pulled my torso up and squared my shoulders. I crossed my legs and stared at him.

He looked at me, bemused. He bent down and exhaled smoke in my face.

I closed my eyes, trying not to breathe in. "Gross,"

"I can handle this," He spoke to Zsasz and his men. They went through a side door and left us.

"Now," Cobblepot started. He went over to the bar and grabbed some sort of liquor. He got a glass and walked back over to the stage. He poured himself a drink. "Since I have your attention, why don't we start by you telling me what I want to know? Who is Batman?"

"We still on that?"

"Naturally, I mean, I have no other use for you, Darling. Otherwise I'd just, shoot you in the face."

"Well, that wouldn't really inspire me to tell you being it's the only thing I have."

"That's right, it's the only thing you have. What did you study in college?"

"What?"

He looked around. "There's no one else in the room I could be talking to…and no background noise, you heard my question."

"What does it matter?"

Oswald slapped me across the face. "I asked you a question."

"Anthropology and psychology,"

Oswald laughed, so much so that he started coughing. "No wonder you're so unstable. You know, that should be a warning sign somehow- studying things as laughable and trivial as human nature and culture."

"I assume you studied something else?"

"I have a degree in finance, with a specialization in business logistics. Since you decided to pursue a frivolous degree, let me explain logistics to you. Jane, in business, it's all about the bottom line. Logistics deals between the point of origin and the point of destination in order to meet requirements. This is always done in the most expedient and efficient way possible."

"I'm familiar with the concept."

"Are you?" He spoke sarcastically. "Then you should know, forgive my redundancy- logistics involves the integration of information flow…minimizing use of resources and time are key motives." He smirked. "You're thinking, but Mr. Cobblepot, how does this involve me? Being the college graduate I think you can put it together." He bent down again and stared squarely at me.

"I'm a man of logistics. I'm not a sociopath; I don't have the luxury of being unpredictable. But that's the beauty of it, I don't have to be. If I need information, I get it the best way possible. However, if that method say- tries to act cheeky and starts becoming a more of a burden and less of an asset…Well, I'd just have to find another method, won't I? And dispose of the one that doesn't suit me."

"I understand your threat." I did. He was going to kill me either way. I could see it in his eyes.

"Then tell me who he is."

"What does it even matter?"

"It matters a great deal. It matters for reasons a young girl that sleeps with a psychopathic clown wouldn't understand."

"Don't insult…"

"Your intelligence?" He smirked. "I don't insult your intelligence, Miss. I'm sure you're plenty smart. But let me ask you, what is intelligence if you don't have sanity?" He began pacing back in forth in front of me now. "I mean, The Joker is highly intelligent. Probably a far higher IQ level than I. But when was the last time you saw Joker sit down at a coffee shop? Or, go out for a nice steak dinner. Tell me, did you ever go on a date that didn't involve killing innocent people?"

"That's why he is who…just because society has these…" I had to stop myself. It suddenly came grotesquely clear. I was initiated- indoctrinated into his ways. I was defending him. I was defending Joker's actions to a hardened mob-like criminal. I felt all of the color drain from my face. I was speechless. I didn't understand who I was anymore. I didn't really believe in Joker's philosophies, did I? Why was I defending him?

I felt awful, sick, but simultaneously numb. I was nothing…I was a mess. My mind was racing and I wanted it to stop.

Cobblepot was silent. I didn't look up at him, but I could tell he was staring at me. "Maybe you're not as far gone as I thought." He mused, and then bent down to take my chin. "But don't let me lose you totally. I'm going to give you a few minutes here. When I come back, you're going to tell me what I want to know."

With that, he dropped my chin and went through the same door his men had. I let out a gasp, I couldn't hold it. But it almost immediately turned into a laugh. Laughing was all I had left.

I jumped when the door was thrown open. But it was just Zsasz. I giggled.

_Oh, it was just Zsasz._

He walked into the room slowly. He was such a strange fellow- even for a serial killer. I just couldn't figure him out.

He circled the stage carefully, like a vulture that wasn't sure whether their food was dead or not. Eventually he lit a cigarette and sat in a chair at the bar. When he was finished, he took the cigarette butt and threw it on the carpet. I pursed my lip- that was kind of disrespectful.

He casually made another circle around the stage. He then headed for the side door. He opened it, but coolly turned around and looked at me.

"He's coming." He spoke simply, then walked in the back room and shut the door.

My mouth hung open. I couldn't help but to smile. I hated myself for it, but I couldn't help it. I had no idea how I'd react when I saw him. That shouldn't have been what I was thinking about. I should have been thinking of how glad I was that I might not die but no, I had to think about how I'd react when I saw him…what I'd say.

I became consumed with these thoughts. So much so, I barely noticed when Cobblepot, Zsasz, and his henchman tore through the side door. Suddenly he had five more men. All of them had guns.

"What's wrong?" I laughed, a little too sadistically.

"What do we do with her?" The henchman asked.

"Take her to the office and lock her…" All the lights went out. The club became pitch black. Cobblepot stopped what he was saying. I closed my eyes. The darkness was kind of strange, but comforting. I knew I was losing my mind. I guess I liked losing it better in the dark- where no one could see.

The stage lights above my head suddenly came on. I could hear the sound of a speaker, and someone making a ruckus behind me.

-"Her boyfriend's back and you're gonna get in trouble." I felt chills run up my spine. I needed to calm down.

The lights went out again. There were gunshots, everywhere. Men were fighting. I don't know how many of them were there. But I felt chaos all around me.

The lights came back on. When they came up, two of Cobblepot's men were dead on the ground. Men in clown masks were standing over them.

"You see me coming better get out on the double,"

The lights went out again. More gunshots- the lights came back on. Cobblepot wasn't fairing too well. I didn't count how many people Joker had brought, but they were the only ones standing.

"Her boyfriend's back, he's gonna save her reputation," he sang. He was behind me now. His voice was closer. Once again, the lights went out. There were three gunshots. The light came back on. There was only Cobblepot and Zsasz left. Joker was standing beside me now, his gun pointed toward Oswald.

Oswald looked over to Zsasz- quickly realizing his mistake in trusting him. He looked back to Joker.

"If I were you, I'd take a permanent vacation…"

"Alright," Cobblepot shrugged. "let's talk about," His words were cut short. Joker shot him in the stomach. And then old Wobbles went tumbling down.

For a few moments, there was silence. The only thing that broke it was Joker's chuckle. He laughed in victory as he knelt down next to me. I closed my eyes. I felt his hand stroke my head. "You changed your hair."

I let out a loud sigh, followed by laughter. In that current state of existence, there just wasn't such thing as inappropriate.

Zsasz fumbled around with one of the henchman's bodies. He grabbed the handcuff keys and tossed them to Joker. He took them and released my arms. I flexed them for a bit then turned to look at him. He looked at the scrape on my cheek and traced his finger below it.

"Who touched you?" He asked without a single hint of malice or anger. He slid his hand across my cheek and rested it on the back of my neck.

I gestured to Cobblepot. "It was all him."

Joker turned to look towards him. "Well, his bowels are going to have some issues for the rest of his life. That is, if he lives…do you want me to take them out to make sure he doesn't?"

"I think we can just leave him here."

Joker laughed, "Oh, Janie, no, he's not going to get off that easy." He took my hand and led me off the stage. He gestured for Zsasz and they both lifted Cobblepot up. He moaned and screamed in agony as they threw him on the stage. They sat him against the pole and Joker handcuffed him just as Oswald had done to me.

"Oh, the poetic justice,"

"We can work this out, Joker…" Cobblepot coughed.

"See Janie just told me to leave you, too. She's in the mood for empathy, but there's blood in my pen." Joker took out his knife and carved a smiley face right under Oswald's eye- he cut as deep as he could- promising Oswald a permanent scar on his skin.

I watched numbly.

"Now," He started. "This worked with tally marks; maybe it will work with you too. At the least, it will help you understand how you should behave towards me, and Janie girl."

Cobblepot screamed idol threats, but no one was listening. At this point, he was really just background noise.

Joker stood up jumped off the stage. He noticed his coat and picked it up from the ground as he walked towards me.

"What did you do to my jacket?" He laughed as he put it around my shoulders. "You changed your hair so you had to change the jacket too?"

I put the jacket on myself fully and shrugged. "I didn't think you'd come."

"Because I ran out after we had sex?"

I smiled, "Yeah that would be why."

Joker grinned, a scrawled grin that I couldn't decipher. I didn't have time to either. Immediately after grinning he scooped me up, allowing my body to merge with his.

"Janie, I think, you and I are going to have to come to terms with the fact that we will never be done with each other." He declared, still distracted by my hair. He played with it for a minute then continued to speak. "Those things, Janie... We can't, see we can't just run away from our problems. You know? We're just going to have to work them out because I did my thinking and I thought. I decided I'm not about to just let you go."

I couldn't help it. I looked up- looked him in the eyes. They easily confirmed the sincerity in his words. I swallowed. His childlike profession was simultaneously soothing and disconcerting. Of course, the only retort a crazy strung-out nutcase like me could offer was a kiss. But before I even attempted he took charge. His lips smashed into mine- a pain, a pleasure I was used to. I'd missed him. I'd missed the attention. I effortlessly welcomed it back.

When I released I noticed that Zsasz was just standing there, watching. I started giggling wildly. I kind of didn't care at that point. I was gone. There was no hope. I was kidding myself in thinking I was some crusader for good- some savior of sorts. I wasn't. I was selfish, flawed, and wildly obsessed with a sociopath. That's another thing; I needed to stop calling him that. It was too politically correct. He was a psychopath. He knew it, I knew it. And I stuck around in spite of it. God help me…but it was the only thing that made sense.

When he released, he looked into my eyes once more. He grinned in triumph, knowing that he'd just won- a victory he'd tirelessly toiled to achieve. I hated myself. I hated myself for finally admitting it to him- even if it wasn't out loud. I had failed so many people with my actions. A lot of people use love as an excuse for their actions. I think I was turning into one of them.

…

The three of us walked out of the club just as chummy as could be. I had totally forgotten it was day. The sun was shining- usually a welcome sight in the winter. But not today, I loathed it. The night is far more romantic.

Several of his men were standing outside- waiting for further instructions. Of course, Joker didn't bother to give them any. We just walked passed them to a black truck.

"So I suppose you two are going to go fuck now…and I can't come along."

Joker giggled and rubbed Zsasz' bald head. "Sorry, I'm not really into that kind of thing. And even if Janie was, well…that's too bad I don't share."

Zsasz smirked, "Alright well," Before he could finish, a bullet struck him in the shoulder blade. He grabbed his wound and quickly fell to the ground.

"Woops," Joker laughed as he pushed me into the truck. "Time to go, Cherry."

Joker ran and hopped into the driver side and started the car.

"You're going to just leave him?"

Joker lowered his brow and looked at me. "Uh, yeah."

"But he just helped you…us, he..."

Joker chuckled uncontrollably. "Janie, let's not regress in our understandings of each other."

I was silent, suddenly reminded that these were my life choices.

Someone began shooting the back of the truck. Joker sped off. I looked back. I assume it was some more of Cobblepot's men. But I really wasn't in the position to make any assumptions of any kind. I turned back around and looked toward the road.

"You seem different, Janie girl. And I'm not talking about the hair. You've been busy in my absence. I haven't even been gone a full day..."

"I have," I shook my head. "I feel different."

"What have you been doing?"

There were men chasing us now in a Towncar. But I guess that didn't matter.

"You there, Janie?"

"I was trying to be something I'm not. That's what I was doing."

"Really?"

"I was, I was trying to rectify, justify… I don't know." It was an honest answer. And it was the best I had. "What did you do?"

The men in the Towncar shot out the back window of the truck. I ducked and tried to protect my head. Joker didn't flinch.

"Well Doll, I went shopping."

"Shopping?"

"Mm hmm, I went shopping and I got us something."

"Alright," I spoke cautiously.

A stray bullet came through the gaping hole in the back of the truck and hit the clock on the stereo.

Joker slammed on the brakes and whipped the truck around. He took his gun out and shot at the car several times.

Eventually, he hit the driver and the vehicle lost control. It slammed into a white van in the lane next to it…causing a massive pile up. The van plowed over a small car in front of it- it looked like it crushed the people in it in the process. I quickly turned away from the scene. I couldn't look at it. I couldn't look at wreckage anymore.

…

We drove for about an hour in silence. Truthfully, on my part- there was nothing to say. Words couldn't describe how I was feeling. They couldn't express what I wanted either. Fuck, even my mind couldn't do that.

I don't think this was the reunion Joker had expected. However, I think to him it was suitable. Because the truth of the matter was, neither of us had changed- we'd simply reconciled with accepting certain truths about each other, and ourselves.

"Pull over," I commanded with gentle force. Surprisingly, he did as I asked. Joker switched the truck in park and looked over at me. He eyed me suspiciously, but only because he didn't know how to act any other way.

I unbuckled and climbed into his chair with him. I rested my head down on his chest. I clenched his shirt and closed my eyes.

"I imagine this is one of those times where you want me to be temperate and thoughtful?"

"If you don't mind, please…" I laughed. "But just for a second."

"Just for a second, Janie."

"Just for a second," I assured. We seemed to be singing those words back and forth- we kept saying them. We were using them as a delicate precursor- An omen for what inevitably was to come after.

…


	14. You Can Never Hold Back Spring

**Chapter Fourteen: You Can Never Hold Back Spring**

**Yep, I've already made a sequel. Check out "Hesitation Marks" to see how the story continues. **** I love you all dearly!**

"_I am only responsible for my own heart, you offered yours up for the smashing my darling. Only a fool would give out such a vital organ"_

- _Anaïs Nin_

Love may be blind, but mine isn't. Well, in total disclosure, I have continual fluctuation in my opinion toward the idea of love. It depends on the day, really. My main gripe is that proving love exists is stupid, it's impossible. No method could ever validate its actuality. Love, it's something we make up. Love is a culmination of _feelings_ that we can't accurately describe through any sound process. That is, other than compartmentalization. Mankind has a tendency to compartmentalize everything. I've said this before. But it's just as true now as it was then. We feel the need to compartmentalize our petty emotions in order to classify them. It's the only way our tiny brains have been taught to absorb knowledge. We've been conditioned to think this way. Why, you ask? Because facing the possibility that possibilities are limitless- well, it's just too scary for the average Joe…or Jane, ha. I don't see it that way. I chose not to categorize my _feelings _towards Janie as love. Why you ask…? Because it belittles it…It sets boundaries. I'm not one for boundaries. If this doesn't work out, and she somehow walks away from this without my stopping/killing her- poor little Cherry's ruined relationship wise. I have no qualms about that. I'm what you call one of a kind. I've made the conscious choice to feel it all- to see it all and let it all happen. I see Janie's faults clearly.

She and I both know it. I am not only unsettling because of my resolute constancy, but because I can also cut, and dig. I dig out her very soul, her heart. She'll forever be naked before me. There is nothing she can do about that. I know her; I'm the only one who knows her. My indifference toward social norms is a gift. I don't see her as the world sees her. Instead, I see her for who she truly is free of the rose-colored glasses people with empathy often wear. It's a gift that I possess. I think it's quite rare, I'm not saying I'm the only one, but I have yet to meet anyone else that can do it. The problem is this- I have a… genius of admiration for her. I tend to hanker for her flaws and shortcomings, because they're exciting and endearing. I guess that's why I felt the need to bolt when she started to get smug at how close we were getting. But I had to come back. Because my attitudestowards her are as follows: intense, longsuffering, and selfish. These pangs of emotion are what keep me loyal. Because let's be honest, I'll never put her above myself, but I'll readily put her above all others.

Oh, so remember those flaws I was talking about? Janie is a liar, not a good one, but a liar nonetheless. She said she wanted to be still for just a few seconds. But here we were, half an hour later still sitting in the same positions. In fact, I think she had fallen asleep.

I took my hand and reclined the back of the bench seat. We went tumbling back, causing her to fall on top of me and wake up. I laughed; her weight knocked the wind out of me a bit. She lifted her head and looked around.

"Where are we?"

"Same place we were before you dozed off. Don't you ever get enough sleep?"

"No."

"Well you can sleep plenty when you're dead."

"Are you going to kill me?" She spoke, deadpan. She stared down at me.

I chuckled.

"I feel like it's a logical question. Whatever this is we, it's not exactly stable."

"Sure it is," I rebuffed. Janie was good at pretending she didn't know how I felt.

She situated herself beside me now. I sat up my seat and started the truck. The bench style front seat provided ample room to move over, but when her skin retreated from mine, those parts of my body felt bare. I pulled her back over next to me before I took off.

The streets were pretty empty and the sky was a thick, whitish gray. The snow and wind had picked up significantly…the gusts rocked the truck as we moved along.

A large piece of tin- at least 6 feet in length flew from the opposite side of the street and bounced off the hood of the truck making a shrill, scraping sound. Her body jolted surprise and her hand gripped my arm. I could feel her fingers pressing into my skin. It was those times, those insignificant, but electric touches- tangible moments. They stimulated such a special arousal within me.

Cherry flipped on the radio. That weather beeping noise was on-warning Gotham of the impending blizzard. Apparently it had hit from the Southeast about ten minutes prior. High winds- gusts up to 50 mph.

"Where are we?"

I giggled,

"Naturally," She responded, "We're in the eye of the storm."

"C'mon, you're really worried about the weather? Or are you being metaphorical towards our relationship?"

"I have no idea what I meant."

"Yes you do,"

"I think I've gone insane." She looked up at me, eyebrows scrunched, as if she were searching for validity, an agreement in my response.

I grinned, "You haven't gone anywhere. You're still here, and you're still playing see-saw with your morality. You're a lot of things, Janie- but you're consistent in your inconsistencies."

She didn't respond, because she knew I was right.

"I tried to figure out how to get away," She trailed off, as she usually does when she feels compelled to tell the truth, but knows that I won't like it.

"Of course you did. How'd that work out for you?"

She shot me an incredulous look- I know this because I was staring at her- not the road. This caused me to slam into the car in front of us.

She had her arm in front of me protectively. That tugged at my heartstrings a bit. What a sweetheart…

I grabbed and examined her as I held her face.

"You okay, Doll?"

She nodded and looked up at me. "You?"

"Don't happen to have your insurance card? Mine's out of date," I told her as I hopped out of the car.

She grinned slightly- quickly correcting herself because they'd told her it was inappropriate.

The man in the white sedan had already stepped out of his car.

"Hey, Jackass!" He spat.

"Hey!" I responded and took my dagger out.

He raised his hands up in surrender. "Wait," He stammered. I stabbed him a few times before he went tumbling to the ground. He had a really nice car- climate control and all. It was an upgrade. I waved my arm for Cherry to come along, but she was already outside standing next to me.

She was staring at the guy. She seemed fascinated by it. Maybe she thought it was pretty…the contrast of the falling snow with the dark blood and all. But I knew better than that. I knew what was coming.

"I can't just pretend that I'm okay with it."

"How many times have we been through this?"

"Exactly, how many times is it going to take for you to understand?"

"No, no, listen to me and take a step back, Sugarplum. You do realize that we're arguing about it, standing over this man's dying body- and you're more upset about the principle than the man himself? You're not even helping him, Janie. No, you're too busy helping yourself get over this moral conundrum you're pretending to face. You're selfish."

She furrowed her brow and looked down at the man, afraid- cognizant of the truth I was speaking.

"No," She knelt down, acting as if she was about to do something, ha.

"Save it," I yanked her up and grabbed her face. I held it in my hands. She seemed to respond well to that. "Listen, close your eyes,"

Janie did so. A tear fell down her cheek. But the harsh wind took care of it before I had to.

"What do you see?"

She shook her head and swallowed. "Nothing,"

"What do you hear?"

"You, the snow…and the wind."

"Exactly, now, open those big browns."

She looked directly at me. I almost chuckled- in disbelief that it'd actually worked. But really, I'm great at improv.

"You get it now? It's you and me, there's nothing else, now let it go."

Her eyes pleaded with me, her mouth agape. But I wasn't having it. I kissed her. She moaned and melted into me. Cherry baby was becoming quite easy to seduce. Physically anyway

...

I pushed her in the truck and shut the door. A thick silence filled the vehicle. I stared at her, hating her sudden calm I'd just helped her achieve. She was turning me into something. The worst part of it was that I was adhering to it. Somehow, without my say so, she had made it to where I wasn't allowed to be angry with her. She'd manipulated me, twisted my _feelings_ about.

I started driving but I was to the point where I couldn't do it anymore, I literally couldn't see strait I was so angry… thank God. I'd only made it a few blocks before I pulled over again. Normally, I would've pulled into an alley but there was no one on the roads. And I was so excited about my anger returning, I just couldn't wait.

She looked at me with harsh, chaotic eyes. She wasn't scared, but she was nervous. I like her being nervous.

"You went to see him, didn't you?"

She stared at me, silent.

I hated when she did that. "What happened, Janie?" I grabbed her and pulled her to. She made these little moans- worse than I was at self-control.

"I went to B, Batman's." She spoke shakily. It was nice to know she wanted me like I wanted her. Everyone likes to know these things… "I told him everything."

"E, Everything?" I mocked her stammer.

"Well, not..."

"Why did you go in the first place?"

"Because I was losing myself, I was,"

"Don't lie to me. It insults what we have. Tell me why you really went."

She bit her lip and looked away,

"Tell me."

"No."

"Janie, now." My voice had hardened a bit, I pressed into her. It was almost too easy.

"Because you left," She murmured.

"What's that?"

"Because you left!" She pushed me off and looked away.

"No, no, don't you turn your head." I brought her face back to mine. "Look at me,"

"No," She challenged through gritted teeth.

"Yes,"

"You can't," She paused, lowering her voice. "You can't insert yourself into every single aspect of my life and then just walk out. You require me to be constantly involved, immersed into your world…and then you just decide to check out it's…you," She shook her head. "And now, I don't know anything anymore. All I know is I'm fucked up and I'll never be what I was and I hate you." She paused for a moment. Her little soliloquy seemed to calm her down. "but a part of me knows, I know that…"

"You're never going to have it better." I finished for her. She was conceding to what I was saying earlier. I simultaneously loved and hated her for it. These relationship revelations of ours, they were bittersweet.

"That's what makes it so fucking infuriating, so maddening. Because also, you're this lunatic, psychopath, serial killer maniac…narcissist…"

"You're right, I get it. There's no need for a complete list of,"

She smiled and gripped my shoulder. She was strangely affectionate, at times.

"So what's it going to be, Janie?"

"Oh, so now you're giving me a choice?"

"You've always had a choice, that's never been…"

"Don't act like this is some kind of democracy."

"Don't act like you're some kind of captive."

"So if I just left, right now…you'd let me?"

"Of course not, silly girl. You don't want to leave. My stopping you is saving you, saving you from all of them. That's what I've been doing all along, Doll. I've been,"

"That's enough." She interjected. "I can't fucking leave, the point is dead."

"I like the morbidity."

"Everything is dead, and this is it- it's just us."

"Ah-huh," I replied, knowing the talking part of this interlude was over. I took to removing our clothes- hers first. I enjoyed the little gasps when her bare skin was exposed; it's adorable, when she gasps.

"Is this how it's going to be?" She asked through our sound and motion.

"Yeah," I spoke honestly. The amount of sex I was getting recently was a really great channel- an outlet for my…wiggles.

"Is it really sustainable? I mean,"

"Janie, stop talking."

"But I, there are other people,"

"Look at me, there is no one else. Not in this economy anyway…"

Even that joke was lost on me. I was distracted.

"It's too much,"

"It's not."

"Joker," She cried. Her whole body tightened. Her legs and arms tightened around me. What a paradox, my Janie.

Oh and she has, a way about her when we have sex, it ruins me. When I'm done, I'm like an eaten carcass, jagged and used. I think she knows too. Like a lioness, she rests upon or embraces her kill with pride. I think it's my favorite feeling.

If we're being objective, I should reiterate that I myself am not a gentle lover. Wariness and restraint really don't really equate that special kind of sex. She was looking pretty beat up. Bruises aren't bad, but I wasn't the landlord or administrator of said injuries on her person. I traced my finger around them, memorizing the patterns. Their presence really didn't work for me, the fact she was touched by someone else. I must say though, she sported her injuries like a champion. She didn't seem to be ashamed. That was good and all, but I still needed to hurt and punish someone for them.

There was a peculiar scar on her forearm I hadn't noticed before. It was in the shape of the crescent moon. It was old. I brought it closer to my eyes.

"I didn't take your for a cutter."

"I'm not. It's from a burn."

"From where?"

She was silent.

The complete painting of injuries irked me. Because she was mine, and she hadn't been treated as such. It irked me that Cobblepot could still be alive. I didn't know for sure. Both he and Maroni had taken her, like that was allowed- trying to manipulate me and use her to get to me, or even worse to get to Batman through me.

And then there was Batman.

Whatever repertoire he and I had going on was ours alone. He'd crossed the line in trying to take her away and coerce her into being with him, on his side. That was below the belt. He and I had an understanding, a sacred gentleman's agreement that he was distorting.

And just like that, I pinpointed the problem- it was magical. That's what I was most angry about, that's what she was hiding. She had gotten to know the Bat; he'd gotten under her skin- I'd like to think just metaphorically. But my mind couldn't match my wish. I suddenly saw a surge of images, of her and the Bat- faceless under his mask, but I knew exactly who he was. He was the guy touching her, holding her body, possessing it. Suddenly I could smell him on her.

I pushed her away. She looked over at me startled and confused. I pulled her back to me by the shoulders before she had a chance to start analyzing things.

Sexually frustrated Janie scowled at me. "What are you…"

"I'm not happy, Janie." I shook her a bit, being dramatic. I liked being angry with her and having her be the one to gage what was wrong.

"About?"

I glared at her. "Tell me what happened."

Her eyes shifted nervously. "What happened when?"

"Don't do that; don't you dare pretend you don't know what I'm talking about."

She gave me a weary glance, and then sighed as her hand sorted through her crazy girl hair. "Don't worry, I couldn't do it." She spoke abruptly, pushing angrily on my chest. "Look I just, not to say that he isn't a better choice," She trailed off. "It's just,"

"Say it, Janie."

"Why? You know,"

"Say it because I want to hear it."

"It's not always about what you want."

"Yes it is…but just for argument's sake, say it because I need you to start being more resolute with your words and actions. You need to stop being so afraid of yourself, and your potential for being honest about what you want."

"This is so twisted," She put her fingers in her hair and rested her palms on her forehead. "What are you doing to me?"

"You know I'm helping you, Doll."

She laughed for some reason. "Give me one, just one example of how you've helped."

I furrowed my brow. "I can give you several."

"Humor me," She challenged.

"I killed Shive for you. That helped you mend some of those old scars on your heart." I touched her chest. She glared back up at me. Her head shook in disapproval. "C'mon, Janie," I pulled her to. "Now, now, let's not get all bent out of shape." I held and indulged her. "I didn't mean to get you all beat up, you know that."

"I didn't want you to kill him."

"Well, you didn't want _me_ to kill him, but you wanted revenge, revenge for those people that killed your father."

"I don't know who killed my father."

"Stop lying, I knew you were lying the first time you told me that. You started to tell me the story once, but you were drugged. I know that deep down- you've always wanted to get them back. Problem was, no one ever believed you or wanted to hear you out. Nobody ever listened to the little girl that cried wolf. You can't tell me that a little piece of your broken ticker returned when you saw Shive blow to a million pieces."

"But he just covered it up. He wasn't one of the ones that…"

"Ahh, so you do know?"

Janie rolled her eyes. "I don't feel like talking about this."

"Good, neither do I." I started the truck up again. "Let's go kill one of them."

"I know that in your own way you're trying to be…" She sighed, "romantic, but I just can't stomach any more death."

"Sure you can, but for the sake of you not arguing about it, we'll start tomorrow then," I decided, and concentrated back on the road. I was happy with this decision. There was direction, something to teach her. We were evolving.

"I don't want this, Joker. I don't want to kill…"

"You really could be so much more, you know? If you would just stop analyzing every little,"

"It's never going to end, is it?" She interrupted.

Maybe not… "What?"

"I mean, of course it will end… but what's going to become of us?"

I laughed, "What are you getting at?"

"I mean, you and me and our twisted, I feel like I'm riding this carousel. It's all of your design, and I really don't see an end without me throwing up my cotton candy."

I chuckled. I knew what she meant, but Janie was really bad at metaphors.

"What's wrong with you riding my carousel?"

"I'm not in this alone, I know that. We're both here, and we're not changing for the better, only for the worse…so when we die, there's no one to mourn for us."

"Who cares about them anyway?" Honestly, I'd entertained the idea of her death several times, and mine as well. "Death is a part of life, being remembered by these people makes no difference to me. But at least I can have some fun messing with them and their silly little domain while I'm here." I glanced back at her, a tiny smirk spread across her lips. I liked watching her watch me- eating up, hanging on every one of my words. She was mine. I had her.

By now it was getting dark. Miss introspective was drifting off again into the inner machinations in that head of hers. She was clenching onto my arms with hers, and her head rested on my shoulder. I needed to look into getting her some sort of energy drink or something, maybe some cocaine. But she wouldn't be into that. She's too much of a control freak when it comes to substances and whatnot.

…

I'm a romantic, I know, but I was excited to show her what I'd done. She woke up when I slammed on the brakes. Her body jerked a bit, she looked around in confusion.

"Where are,"

"We're home, Janie." I informed her. She gave me a bewildered look but followed me towards the building nevertheless.

A childlike excitement swept over us. I say us because I know her looks, and she was excited as well. The elevator was masked by an old wooden platform that stood up on its side. We ducked under it and hopped in. It opened on the 19th floor to our loft. Yes, I called it our loft because I was taking a step- investing in my future. I'd found this place in my wonderings, in the time she was missing I took to filling it with her things, our things. It was one place I'd adamantly decided on keeping intact, for now.

Janie looked around, noticing trinkets from her old life- remnants of who she was. I decided that would be okay.

She looked to the bed- quickly walking over to it. "I thought this was destroyed."

"I found another one like it. Your red comforter, it kind of defines you."

She turned to me as if I just gave her a puppy. We weren't getting a puppy. She smiled a grateful smile…for once.

"How did you get all my things?"

"I told you, no one was watching your apartment anymore."

She smiled and sat on the bed. I joined her.

Her mouth hung open as she looked at me. But she was lost in her thoughts. I could tell she wanted to say something. I waited.

"I," Her voice was raspy. She was being such a girl. She quickly snapped out of it, shook her head. She smirked, and put her hand on my shoulder and laid back on the bed. She urged me to do the same. Our faces and eyes met.

Janie was sad. I couldn't quite figure out why, we'd worked out most of what we needed to. We were for all intents and purposes "home." But still there was some sort of emptiness, something eating away at her.

"What?" I asked plainly, not wanting to drag anymore of this out. I was being too nice for her to be so disparate.

"I'm just," She retreated back into her mind again- a mind that I was starting to realize was a dark, endless pool of complexities.I could tell she wasn't going to say anything. But surprisingly, she latched onto me. I finally I settled on her chest. She seemed to enjoy positioning me like that. I felt her breaths rise and fall, thinking how much more I would like this without her clothes on. So I sat her up and pulled off her shirt. I let her lay back down and relaxed my head again on her stomach…suddenly thinking of something that hadn't dawned on me before.

"Janie, are you pregnant?"

She was silent for a moment, and then responded with a thoroughly panicked "What?!"

I sat up to inspect her…she didn't look bigger. I grabbed her right breast, squeezing it.

"Oww, what are you doing?" She smacked my hand away.

"Women's breasts get tender when they're pregnant." I informed her, feeling like she should know that.

"They also are tender when someone squeezes the hell out of them!"

I grinned. "That doesn't really answer my question. Are you pregnant?"

Another pause,

After a few moments, she shook her head. "Why would you think that?"

I shrugged. "We have had lots and lots of irresponsible sex. It's been several weeks and your lady visitor hasn't once interrupted our…"

"No," all the color drained from her face. "Fuck, don't," She sat up now, and rubbed her face. "There's no way …" She trailed off again.

I lowered my eyes. It wasn't like I wanted a kid or anything. But I didn't necessarily appreciate the way she was acting.

"Jesus, Janie I'm not going to eat the thing. Although, Jonathan Swift might,"

"We're not talking about eating our baby, Joker."

"So you are pregnant."

"No,"

"You just said…"

"I'm not pregnant." She snapped.

She wasn't being terribly inconsiderate. "Well, we can always get a coat hanger…"

"Jesus Christ!" She sprung up out of bed and began pacing. She smoothed her hair back as she moved about the loft. She suddenly turned back towards me. Her mouth hung agape.

I didn't know what she wanted me to say. And to be honest, I really didn't care. She was pissing me off. There was that and, well my suspicion was bringing up questions in my mind. Did I want to share Janie with a child? I'd never particularly liked kids other than their disregard for what people think about them- a trait most adults had been conditioned to lose. But there was already a person like that in her life. There only needed to be one person.

"We're not talking about this, because I'm not. That's just…" She shook her head, looking over at me- her look indicating that something had clicked.

"The blood jet is poetry and there is no stopping it." She spoke calmly, resigning to…well honestly I didn't understand what she was talking about, but she was touching her stomach.

I walked up to her and grabbed her hips. "Now, Janie"

Suddenly she smacked me across the cheek. Not a moment after she pushed on my chest.

"I hate you!" She cried, shaking her head. "This isn't,"

I'd had enough of this. I stepped back towards her. She struggled, but I pulled her to. She kneed me and tried to walk off.

"Get away," She stammered.

"Look at you, how you're acting" I grabbed her and threw her on the bed. I steadied myself on top of her. "You're mad at yourself, not at me. It's just the hormones…"

"Shut up," She murmured with a head butt. I laughed then slammed her back down into the mattress.

"Don't you think you're being a little one sided about this. It's only 50% my fault. I haven't exactly heard any complaints."

She struggled to get on top and started pounding on my chest. What a cute mess. The idea of us being pregnant was not sitting well. She was losing it. Her breaths were hastened, and this had quickly gone beyond frisky foreplay. This was violent. But I have to admit, kind of fun.

I grabbed her arms and lowered them to opposite sides of her head. I pressed them down into the bed. She was upset again…joy, and just when I didn't feel like killing her. And she had a lot of nerve- acting as if she was the only one affected by this hypothetical.

"Do I have to fuck you every time you get upset? Just to calm you down?"

"Joker, that's not what this is."

"Then please, illuminate to me why you can't externalize your violence and wield it towards others… and not all towards innocent ol' me?"

"Because I don't have anyone else you've taken them away from me. I don't," She swallowed. "Just let me go,"

It suddenly hit me. What if she left? What if she wanted to be one of those single moms that worked at a daycare? Was that a thing? There was no way she was leaving, not after everything we'd been through, after all my work.

"You're going to stay, Janie. You're not going to try and run, you're not leaving." I shook her a bit, looking down at her.

And just like that, her mood switched. She settled herself down with a shaky breath. She looked in my eyes. Her brow furrowed. She has a very young face. Well, she was young. Despite all she'd been through, her face was still as it was when I first met her; curious, intelligent, and damn cute. She pressed her lips together. Her tone turned from angry to solemn. It was an odd reaction to her little episode she'd just had. But I suppose that's my influence- 'inappropriate' responses to things. Yeah, yeah, she was cute. But I still needed an answer.

"You can't leave," I reminded her. I liked the idea of the two of us being a club. Whatever happened, she was better off with me.

Janie wrapped her arms around me, giving me a pensive look. Her eyes lowered. She sighed, "I think we're both just really insecure." She spoke in a low, cool voice. Her eyes moved away from mine. They didn't know where they were going and I didn't like their exit. I needed her to look at me.

"What did you manage to get from my cabinets food wise?" She spoke suddenly.

"Already getting those pregnancy cravings?"

She offered no response other than a burning glare; obviously she was not impressed by my shtick. But that's okay, she was looking at me now.

"I get it, Doll." I sprung up and went to the kitchen area. "No need to threaten my livelihood."

I looked through the cabinets, realizing we were on a see-saw of calm and chaos-we were taking turns in fact. There was a bag of potatoes and I held them up to her. She nodded.

I grabbed two of them and stabbed them several times. I needed to practice stabbing. I'll admit it was probably too much for those little potatoes. I put them in the microwave then went back to the bed.

She settled on my chest and kissed my scar on my left cheek before laying her head down. I was getting used to her doing that- starting to enjoy some of those things, those things she did for me.

Naturally, she fell asleep. The microwave beeped several times, but it quickly turned into background noise of our slumber.

Like I've said, I only get sleep when she's around. It's almost like having a child, a child that you have sex with, that is. So I guess it's not like having a child. It's like having a child in that you only feel at ease when you know they're with you, all safe and sound. That was weird that I wanted her safety. But really it's a selfish endeavor- I want her with me because she helps me sleep. She defeats all those goblins tearing at my medulla oblongata. She's good at that. She's also not as dumb as a child, so, there's that…I guess I just have babies on the brain.

…

I dreamt that I was standing over a barbeque pit on a sunny day. We were grilling bats, ha. Apparently it was a really bloody process as my Kiss the Cook apron had a lot of blood on it. Janie emerged from what I presumed was our house with pigtails wearing nothing but my coat except it was back to its pretty purple before she'd given it that dye job. She had spikey purple pumps on her feet. They made that pretty clicking sound those shoes often do. I guess it was one of those kinds of dreams…

She handed me a plate of some more bats and I threw them on the grill. After that, she took my hand and led me to the green grass. We laid down and I took my jacket off of her. Somehow, I was already naked, which was fine. We then proceeded to have some pretty great dream sex.

When we finished, we both looked up to the sky and continued to lie in the grass.

Snowflakes began to fall. A few of them landed on the tips of her long eyelashes. Janie took my jacket, which I guess was now ours and covered us up with it. It was more than enough for us both.

Suddenly she took my chin in her hands and turned my face towards her.

"I won't let you fall apart." She told me, just as I'd told her via my playlist I'd made. She had a bat in her hand. She lifted it to her mouth and took a bite off of its head. Blood dripped from her mouth and I licked it off.

…

When I woke up, I was colder than I was in the dream. That's because I hadn't turned on any kind of heat. And Janie's little body was like an icebox. She was colder than I was.

I slipped out of her grasp and flipped on the generator. I plugged in the space heaters and quickly went back to bed. But this time I pulled the comforter out from under her and put the both of us under it. Janie barely moved. But her arms were outstretched, searching for me. I attached myself to them. I felt an eerie sense of belonging that lulled me back to sleep.

I then dreamt that I crashed the Hindenburg into a pet store, with my son. Thankfully, he had my hair, and not Janie's…it's a contrast, isn't it? How red is powerful on women, and not so much on men? That's kind of unfair… Anyways, he wasn't really doing anything; he was just sitting next to me, not arguing. But we shared a laugh. It was nice.

I turned around and I realized Janie wasn't there.

"Where's your Mom?" I asked the kid.

He shrugged indifferently. I didn't like that.

…

I woke because I heard a thud. Janie was gone. I groaned in annoyance. But being I'd just heard the door, she hadn't got far.

I jumped out of bed, annoyed that it was still so cold. I threw open the door and went after her.

She had made her way outside- somehow thinking walking in a blizzard was logical. I was angry with her, making me chase after her like this. It might really be simpler if I just killed her. Shame on her for making me feel ambivalent…

"Where are you going?" I grabbed her arm and twirled her around. She was all bundled up in my jacket when she looked at me. She also had taken one of my scarves.

She just stared.

"Maybe you shouldn't insist on being so intimate with me if you aren't emotionally mature enough to actually be there when I wake up."

"I was coming back."

"You're lying."

"I was just,"

"Don't lie, Janie."

"I wasn't lying. I just, I need to know now. You've put this crazy idea in my head that I might be," She bit her lip, and then suddenly grabbed my hand. "Just…fuck it! Come with me, then." She extended her hand, a kind gesture. It was the least she could do.

There was a cop car coming down the road. I'd forgotten a gun. I jerked her towards a nearby alley. By habit, I slammed her against the side of the building a bit.

"Oww," She pushed me away in anger. "What are you doing?"

I giggled. "Stay there for a second."

She growled in frustration and sunk to the ground…gross. Thankfully most of the snow was still white.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know what to," Now she was lying on the ground, her hair all sprawled out on the snow.

And they say I'm the crazy one…

She covered her eyes with her hands. "Can't talk to a psycho like a normal human being…" She sang.

I kicked her in the shin.

"It's true! I can't do anything without you getting all…"

"You're a little unhinged, Cherry. Someone's gotta look out for you."

She started laughing. Her chest was bouncing and her smile was wide. I suddenly wanted to be inside her.

"_You _look after me? You're crazy! I'm crazy!" She decided. "I'm losing my mind," She shook her head. "No, that's not accurate. I'm giving it away, actually."

"Now, now," I chuckled and reached my hand down for her. She grabbed it and I pulled her up. I brushed the snow off of what used to be my coat. I stared at her for a second. She gave me one of those tender little kisses. Her lips were chilly. After she released, she backed up a few feet and rubbed her forehead. "I'm afraid of becoming one of those women."

"What kind of women?"

"Those, pathetic, wrecks that live next to the prison their 'man' is locked up in." She shook her head. "It will be in some random place…Nebraska or something. I'll send you letters, talking about stupid shit and they'll be read by the guard before you even see them. I'll probably get a cat, but I really do hate cats, Joker."

I wasn't familiar with the type of woman she was talking about. But I was certain that I'd never go to a prison. I was too interesting…I'd always end up in a hospital, like Arkham. I reassured her of such.

"I can't be pregnant." She finally voiced what had been bothering her. "But I need to know. I have to get a test and find out right now."

"If you can't be pregnant then you're probably,"

She shook her head and laughed. "You don't get it. You'd think you'd have an understanding of how heavy your words are. You've planted them in my mind, now I have to get them out."

…

Eventually, I got her to the truck. It was too cold to be walking around. It was almost like she wanted to get hypothermia again.

Janie's new darker hair allowed her to be less noticeable. But she was so wishy-washy with her emotions, that I decided I'd go in the store with her.

They pharmacy clerk held his hands up as I reached for my gun, remembering once more, that I hadn't anything on me. But as I looked at him, I realized it wasn't necessary. The fear was already there.

"Look, just let me leave and I'll…"

"Then leave." Janie quickly interjected. He didn't waste a second, he ran out the door.

The overhead music was "You Really Got a Hold on Me" by Smokey Robinson. I shook my head at the irony. Because I was in this abusive relationship with this girl…but here I was, sticking around despite it all. Janie would look good in a poodle skirt. We could go to the drive in. She could give me all her love in the backseat.

Janie and I stared at the various tests.

"Which one is the best?"

She shrugged. "I've never done this before." She looked over to me.

"You think I have?" I laughed.

She grabbed a purple and white box. She went to the freezers and grabbed a beer. She twisted the metal cap open- even though you could tell it hurt her hand.

"Should you really be drinking in your condition?"

"Absolutely," She took a few sips of it and then went back to the bathroom.

I only stood there for a few seconds…that's because I soon realized what a mistake it was to leave her alone anywhere. Janie was going through some kind of sequential life crisis. Maybe it was because she was so used to going to college. Maybe she missed our metaphysical dialogues. She needed to be stimulated on a deeper level. We used to have so many of those talks. Every couple goes through their phases though. Right now, ours was the fighting and fucking phase, because that's all we did. There needed to be some more intellectual growth. Of course, that would come with fighting as well… and resistance on her part. She's been conditioned so long to think a certain way. I had so many things to teach her. I'd have to start with thickening her skin. I might be what they call possessive, but she was wrong in thinking I was insecure. A little aggressive narcissism goes a long way, I'm just saying...

I decided to go back into the bathroom. Janie had already peed on her stick. Now she was just waiting. She was sitting on the sink.

I walked to her and put my hands on her legs. I leaned forward and looked at the stick.

"How long do you have to wait?"

"One to three minutes," She murmured- then looked up at me. Of course I had to wonder what that was about. Luckily, she started speaking.

"If someone had told me," She paused and shook her head. "Never mind," She looked back down at the test strip. I looked with her.

I wondered if he would look anything like the kid I saw in the dream. Probably not, since the kid was familiar. He probably wasn't really my son. He was just some boy I went to school with or something like that. But he was very familiar. If you ever see someone in a dream that you don't recognize, that's just memory retrieval. The brain isn't capable of inventing faces. Whether I had seen him for 4 or 5 seconds or 4 or 5 years, my mind had recorded that face somehow.

Did I want us to have a kid? Like I've already mentioned, kids were time consuming and they tended to be demanding. I was those things. I wasn't sure if I wanted Janie to be so preoccupied for the next…well, however long she was around. I realized it could be a hurdle, and we were making so much progress. Then again, I'd never created a bloodline before, she and I would always have that connection…and creating a miniature version of myself might be kind of fun. It's a strange sensation, looking ahead…more than a day.

A line appeared on the test.

Janie got the box and read it carefully, over, and over, and over. After a few seconds, she released a heavy sigh.

She threw the test and its box in the trash bin, as if it were her adversary.

Confused, I stared at her waiting for a response.

"It was negative," She informed me. "I'm not pregnant."

My fluctuation on the matter stood. It's not like I could control it either way, so I guess you could say I wasn't exactly sure how I was affected.

Besides, our attentions were suddenly sucked out of the moment, we weren't alone.

"Joker," A husky Irish voice bled through the bathroom door.

Janie and I both looked to the bathroom door/ front of the store.

"Not now," I groaned in annoyance. "Well, now that we know you're not pregnant, I can rough you up a bit, right?"

"What?"

She looked at me in confusion.

I took her beer bottle and took a sip. I smashed it next to her on the sink and grabbed her hand. I took a shard of the glass and cut her palm.

She jerked it back in defiance. "What are you doing?"

"Fine," I cut mine as well and merged them. "If you're gonna whine about equality," I whispered to her, then released our hands. I smeared the blood on her face.

"What is this?"

"Dramatic effect, Doll. We've got to give em' a show."

I yanked her toward me and whipped her around. I held the broken bottle at her neck.

-"Joker, we know you're in here. The store clerk called us."

We emerged from the bathroom.

"You know, we could've just gone out the back through the window." Janie murmured.

"That's the first place the cops make camp, Cherry. You've got a lot to learn."

Gordon and three of his men had spread out throughout the pharmacy. All were pointing guns towards us.

"Miss Archer, are you alright?" He asked slowly.

I rolled my eyes. Poor, poor Janie. No one ever asks how I'm doing.

"I'm,"

I kneed her a little. She really didn't understand how this worked.

Gordon jumped. Apparently my gentle nudge and blood theatrics were working.

"How's your arm? I see you're still using it. That's good,"

"Let her go, you son of a bitch."

"Oww, haven't heard that one in a while." Gordon was feisty this evening. "But that's insulting my Mother, not me. And you don't even know her."

"I'm not here to play mind games."

"No, you're here to do your job…which you're not very good at. How long has Batman been cleaning up your messes now?"

"I have a clear shot." The officer to the left stated.

Janie shifted nervously under my hold. Her hand tightened on my arm holding the bottle.

"Commissioner, do I take it?"

"No don't," Janie muttered. I sighed; she really wasn't good at this.

Gordon took notice, his opinion of her victim state clearly altered. "I don't think you're going to hurt her."

"Is that what you think?" I scraped the bottle across her neck enough to draw blood. It wouldn't kill her, but blood sure was an effective tool in my line of business.

"I can take the shot. I won't hit her,"

"We're not authorized to kill him," Another officer started, but he was interrupted by Gordon.

"Do it." He surprisingly commanded.

Well, what do you know, Gordon?

"Just don't hit the girl."

"I won't." The officer assured.

"No," Janie protested and decided to make a plan of her own. She kicked my shin, causing us to tumble backwards. We fell into the canned food section. It wasn't as graceful as I might have hoped. But it did the job. The bullet fired above us. A can of vegetable soup dripped its spilled contents on my face. I giggled.

Janie was a little bewildered. She tried to sit up so I dragged her down and yanked her arm to follow me. We crawled quickly to the cop on the left. He noticed when we emerged from the aisle and took aim. I took a can of chunky potato and threw it at his head. It was just enough time for me to get to him and his gun. I grabbed it and quickly shot at the two extra men. I shot the guy I was holding onto under his chin. His blood splattered all over the Gatorade freezer section- as well as Janie, who happened to be standing just a little too close.

"Aww, Cherry…" I chuckled. "Location, location, location…"

Gordon was extra enthusiastic today, but without his men he wasn't going to be singing the same tune.

I looked over to him, pulling Janie up behind me. Gordon shot another bullet. I ducked, pulling Janie down with me. It hit behind her this time- almost getting her. I looked back to check. She had slid down into the mess of blood and glass. Her eyes were a little wide, but she was still there.

"Miss Archer," He called.

I shifted my attention to him. "No, no, you don't get to talk to her now, now that you almost shot her."

"You know I was only aiming for you." I moved closer to him. Our guns were pointed in perfect symmetry with each other.

"Well then you're a pretty poor shot. I guess because of budget cuts you weren't able to take a refresher course."

I could hear sirens in the distance. He'd obviously called for more backup. "You're not going to get to leave here." He thought he'd inform me.

I chuckled. "We're pretty keen on the declaratives this evening, aren't we, Commish?" I cocked the gun, "But really your statements are nothing more than wishful thinking."

"Stop it!" Janie had decided to rise from the ashes of her shock. She grabbed the gun from my hand and tore it away.

I fell a little bit towards her in the struggle, but her grip was strong. I laughed and took a few steps back.

Cherry shook her head. "You're not going to hurt him," She informed me.

"What, you're just going to let him shoot me then?"

She turned to look at Gordon. His gun was still aimed at me. She stared at him.

"Jane," He pleaded.

"Gordon," She swallowed. "Just go." She pointed her gun to the door.

"I can't do that." He steadied his aim. The man was sweating bullets. Janie was good at nudging the soft spots in men. I'd have to look out for that…

"Why not?" She spoke in a small, desperate voice. She was so maddening. This is why I know I'd fallen for her…I'm sticking around notwithstanding this realization.

"You know why not."

I watched her carefully. Here came the waterworks. She was such a girl. "Please, just go."

"Jane, put down the gun, and I'll take him in. No one has to get hurt here.

She raised her gun and pointed it towards him. "I can't." She sobbed, "I can't let you take him."

Gordon tensed, resisting the urge to point the gun at her…a good call on his part as I would've had to have intervened.

I grinned and looked back at Janie. This loyalty, her defending my honor…this was new.

"Just come over here, give me the gun and we can go. You can get away from this, Jane. You know that's what you want. No one has to get hurt."

"If no one has to get hurt, then why aren't you putting your gun down?" She asked him.

"Jane, this isn't you. You're not going to shoot me."

"I won't let you shoot him, or take him." She exclaimed.

I was going to interject, gloat, something… but that always had mixed results. I was curious where she was going with this. I took notice of her body language- she was clearly conflicted. That was stupid. She had no allegiance to him.

Her eyes quickly shot to me. I walked over to her and put my hands on her shoulders. She was shaking.

"There, there, stop all that, there's no need to get all rowed up." I told her. Surprisingly she did calm down a little.

"Jane, you know more than anyone how he is and what he's doing. He's made you think you need him, but you don't. This isn't the life you want. You're looking for a way out; I'm giving it to you."

I had to interject on that one. He wasn't about to confuse her hormonal self any more than she already was.

"C'mon, Gordon you can do better than that. This isn't Stockholm Syndrome. Do you see any handcuffs on her?"

"It's much deeper than physical restraints; you've manipulated her into thinking…"

This time it was Janie's turn to interrupt. "You might just be right."

I pressed my lips together. I really hope she was just being agreeable.

"But I'm not coming with you. And I'm not leaving here without him."

"Why not?" He asked inanely. Because she was my girl, that's why…But I waited for her to say it.

She swallowed, "Come on, let's go, Joker."

I wasn't happy with that. But this was kind of big. She wasn't pretending to be my victim anymore. She was showing her true colors, aside from not having the guts to pull the trigger…

She grabbed my hand and walked us right past Gordon. I shrugged in triumph as we passed by.

"Wait!" Gordon whipped around with his gun.

"You're not going to shoot us, Gordon." Janie confidently remarked. I grinned and looked back at him.

"I'll shoot him,"

Janie turned back around towards the door. She was distracted now so I took the gun back from her and flipped it on Gordon and fired.

"No!" She cried, grabbing the barrel.

We looked to Gordon. Unfortunately, the bullet had only got his leg.

"I'm sorry," She ran to his side a little dramatically. Her tears were falling on his chest. Gordon grabbed his leg in agony…served him right.

I turned to the sound of the imminent sirens. When I turned back, he was whispering something to her.

I walked over and grabbed her by the arm. It was time for this little outing to come to an end.

"We can't leave him."

"Well we could kill him, if that would make you feel better."

"I'm not leaving him." She tried half-heartedly to jerk away. But she wanted me to get her away from this. Janie was emotional today. There was only so much her budding mind could absorb.

"You know how I just love your protests..."

"Get over it," She tried to turn back but I grabbed and threw her out the threshold. Her body stumbled towards, but was stopped when she ran into Batman's chest.

There he was, just standing there in the doorway- his cape blew dramatically like he was some kind of hero. What a freak.

"If I didn't know better," I spoke while grabbing onto my coat. I pulled Janie back with me. "I'd say we've got a stalker on our hands.

"Joker," He said in his predictable tone.

"Batsy," I mimicked his voice. I laughed, and then coughed.

"It's over."

"That's been uttered before in this tango of ours. How are you healing from the last time I shot you?"

"This ends right now. You're not getting away."

I took aim. But this time, I was predicting an interception. When Janie girl lunged, I took the back of the gun and hit her in the head with it. She stumbled, she'd be fine. Maybe the goose egg would alter her morality for a while.

"She seems to have a soft spot for you, I'm not sure I like that."

"You need to let her go, Joker."

I chuckled. "Do you see a leash on her? No, she just can't seem to stay away from me. You know why?"

"You're manipulating her."

"No, no, you're manipulating her…you and everyone else- you've all, you and Gordon got it all backwards. It's you who tried to medicate her and tie her down. Shame, because you see it as much as I do, don't you?"

Batman stared pensively. He always liked listening to what I had to say- hung on every word in fact. I can see him writing his diary every night… _Joker made the most excellent point this evening…_

"She's special. She's not like them. She's like us."

"I'm nothing like you." He spat.

"Oh, is that so? Then why are you trying to get a taste of my Cherry?"

Naturally, there was no response. That's because he was guilty. So yeah, this had become a gentleman's quarrel.

"See, she's with me because we're the same. Me and her, Janie and Joker...we're looking into getting matching tattoos."

"You're insane,"

"And you're getting boring. Is that really all you've got?"

He advanced towards me. And I'll be honest; I really wasn't ready for it. But I was glad he was back to his old self. So predictable yet, mysterious…my Batman.

We fell back into the potato chips. I toppled past the antihistamines and landed on spilled cop blood. My shoes squeaked and slipped a bit as I stood up…but I had got in the last blow, and he was injured. That bullet from the other day had got him pretty good in the chest. He was just a human, after all.

Batman punched me in the jaw. Blood shot out from my mouth onto the latest Gotham Globe. Janie and I were on the cover. Ha.

I took the metal rack the papers were in and swung it at him. I jabbed him in the chest with it. He made a groan and leaned back on the counter.

"Too bad she came back to me, huh? I'm sure it would've been nice to have some pretty someone patch you up." Yes, I absolutely felt I had the right to be petty and spiteful. "Guess you need some lessons on learning how to keep a lady. First you let me blow one up…and now,"

He lunged toward me but missed. He was a mess, not up to par at all. He crashed into the mints and bubblegum. I kicked his side and flipped him over on his back.

"You need to learn not to covet your brother's woman…first Harvey, now me." I looked over and noticed some antifreeze. I took a funnel and hovered over him. I stuck it in his mouth and opened the bottle.

"That's enough," Janie said, suddenly appearing at my side. She took the bottle from me and threw it across the store. Batman spit the funnel out of his mouth.

"Stop, Joker. Leave him alone."

"He was the instigator here. If you recall, you and I were just on a little outing minding our own business and…"

"Stop, let him go!"

I grinned. "Sure, I'll stop. Just as long as you tell dreary here who's name you scream. As long as you tell him who it is you're with. He's delusional, Janie. We need to be strait with him."

Her breaths were escalated. She was getting all panicky again. "I'm not going to tell you anything except that this is done, and I'm ready to go."

Oh, the possibilities. I was having a lot of fun with this, and there were many ways this could go. She was losing it again. She was erratic. Who would I be if I didn't do my job and push her over the edge?

"Alright, Cherry if it's so important to you…" I could stop, especially since I had a new weapon to taunt Batsy with. She was becoming my favorite knife. It felt good. What do you call that? Schadenfreude- the pleasure derived from the misfortune of others. "We'll go, but you need to do something for me first."

She pursed her lips. "What's that?"

I got off Bats and straightened myself before her. "You see, you've already done it with Gordon, but we both know that Bats has a tiny little crush on you…"

"Joker, let her…"

"Quiet now, I'm talking to Janie." I put the sling from the gun over my shoulder and I grabbed her face. It was the most effective way for me to get my points across to her with minimal protest. I stroked her hair.

"Janie,"

"No," She whined, her head shaking.

"I need you, to…"

Janie stopped my words. She kissed me. Sweet, Janie. Her kiss was adamant. She wasn't holding back for the sake of our audience. Her lips, tongue, her fingers in my hair and on my neck- she was good at this- committing whole heartedly.

When she let go, her face only moved a few inches from mine. My eyes opened first.

"We're going to go now." She whispered. "Let me appeal to you, just this once. In efforts of not getting caught, we need to leave. I don't want to be involved in a shootout tonight. I'm not ready for that yet. You'll have to teach me how, I'm just not prepared."

"It's not about being prepared, it's…"

"Just, this once… humor me." Her eyes opened now, she looked at me. "You know it's you that I'm with, not him. And you know that I can't help it." She paused for a moment, "There, that's what you wanted to hear, mm? What you wanted him to hear?"

I felt a wave of smug satisfaction. I'm not going to lie. The girl did have a point. She's going to make me soft. I've hadn't murdered anyone here today. Well, anyone important…

She extended her bloody hand that I'd cut. I chuckled and gave her mine. I looked back at Bats and gave him a toothy smile.

"Jane, wait," Batman exerted.

"I'm sorry," She shook her head.

"No she's not." I informed him. With that, we walked out.

The sirens were closing in, so it really was time to skedaddle. Janie and I hopped into the truck and I peeled off.

…

Well, she wasn't pregnant, and she wasn't playing the victim card anymore. All in all I'd say it was an okay day. Besides, she never was that good at playing the victim anyways… I looked over to her. She was staring at the floor mat.

I was about to speak when she looked over to me. She had a strange look in her eyes. It was precarious, peculiar. Before I could question it, she scooted, her arms attaching themselves. She kissed my neck, my scar, and then rested her face on mine.

I looked in the rearview mirror, no one was chasing us. I began to slow down.

"Go faster." She said, putting her foot on top of mine on the accelerator.

I laughed; she was getting adventurous my Janie…as her lucidity slipped away, so did her reticence and regard for danger. I had to ask her, I was curious.

"Does this have something to do with you quoting Sylvia Plath?"

She scoffed.

"That quote you said earlier...about…"

"The blood jet is,"

"You said something to that effect…That it's poetry and there's no stopping it." We were pushing 70. She wasn't doing anything but holding onto me. That was alright, I guess.

She had her face rested on my cheek. It suddenly felt wet. I guess it was a tear-or blood, no telling. She kissed me again and whispered,

"I have to…because if I don't now, I'll never have the strength. I'm not strong enough. But just know I'll never not, I'll always," She stopped. "I love you, just know that…please know and carry it with you..."

I furrowed my brow. "What?"

"I have to. It does have something to do with that quote."

I laughed. "You have,"

Janie grabbed the wheel and jerked it, hard. The truck did about a 180 before it rolled over. I didn't count but it was a few times before I heard the crash. I blacked out.

…

It wasn't snowing anymore. Everything was completely white, but the blizzard had blown toward some other Godforsaken city. But let's face it; you don't get any more Godforsaken than Gotham.

There was no one on the street but Janie and I. I was holding her hand. It had healed up already. Mine hadn't.

Our footsteps crunched in the snow, mine more so than hers. She was having a hard time walking; she was limping, in fact.

I made fun of her. "What's wrong, hop-along?"

"Got any aspirin? I have this terrible,"

"Throbbing in your head?" I finished. "Maybe in the truck, but I've kind of learned to not let you out of my sight."

"Not keen on it, are you?" She teased.

"You're like a parasite, Cherry…but the kind that benefits the host as well. What's that called?"

"Symbiosis,"

"Symbiosis," I repeated. We both looked out into the distance. It was sunny at the end of the street. Spring was coming.

"I've always hated Spring."

"I know," She replied. "Me too."

She was just saying that to be agreeable. But being agreeable wasn't like her. I looked over to where she was standing, she was gone.

…

I came to. It was too cold. I guess I'd been thrown from the truck. I pulled my head up, my chest was throbbing something fierce. The truck door was partially on top of me, pinning me down. It took me a second but I managed to wiggle out.

When I tried to walk I fell over. I'm not a Doctor, but it was safe to say I had a few ribs shattered and maybe a fracture in my femur.

I noticed what the truck had hit. It was a postal truck. Letters and boxes were scattered everywhere in the road- along with snow and blood.

The postal worker didn't make it. He…or she had been impaled on a small wire fence in front of an office building.

I walked past the person in search of Janie.

I fell over once or twice, but I had to find her. I had to find her and kill her- if she wasn't already dead.

And find her I did. She was still in the car, couldn't tell if her body was breathing or not. Either way, I kicked in what was left of the windshield and tossed it aside. I grabbed her by the arms and dragged her out into the middle of the street. She was bloody, I'll tell you that. I opened my coat. There was a piece of glass lodged in her stomach, I couldn't tell how deep. I touched it, but that made her move.

Her head rolled back and forth for a second before she opened her eyes.

"Are you happy now?"

It took her a second to say anything. Her body was having trouble exerting enough energy to speak.

"Am, am I dead?"

"You would be so lucky," I replied. "You're not getting off that easy. You've got some explaining to do." I had to refrain from shaking her, as I wanted my answer before she died. She couldn't die. She wasn't dying.

She didn't say anything; she just stared up at me. That infuriated me to no end.

"We're not done, Janie."

She gave me a small grin from the side of her mouth, her eyelids fluttered. This time I shook her, there was no way she was going to do that. Her brown irises revealed themselves again.

"I'm having trouble following your logic, why don't you explain this to me, hmm?"

"Joker," She spoke in a whisper, I'd leaned closer to her, she was cold…and I could barely hear her.

"Why were your trying to leave? Just after you'd acceded a bit to,"

Janie smiled, her cute little face was scratched up- but still intact. "That's just it, I'm not one to give in. I'm too stubborn. It's just," She started fading again. I took the shard of glass in her stomach and tugged on it a bit. That woke her up. She winced in pain. I had to steady her.

"No, no, you're not going anywhere. You're staying here. You don't get to leave."

"I know," She finally responded. "I can't…I couldn't do it on my own. I would have never been able to do it." In spite of her injuries, her hand was somehow on my cheek. I don't know if I'd put it there or she did.

"I couldn't leave you, so I had to get help. I was hoping the crash would kill us. But if seems that it's only…that's okay. Just remember what I told you before the crash. You need to know that someone, that I…"

She lost consciousness. At least, she was pretending to. I felt her weight relax into my arms.

I was so angry with her. Women,

I tried to resist choking her as I held her. Of all the silly things…I poked the shard in her stomach but she didn't respond.

And of course he'd have to show up. I didn't even have to see him to know he was there. I'd heard his footsteps crunch in the snow awhile back. I heard his cape blowing in the wind. But I'd ignored them.

"What, you're all out of zingy one-liners now?"

Batman was silent. These people and their practiced apathy.

Of course, he was swiftly followed by his loyal paddy wagon - otherwise known as Major Crimes.

I was a little bit tired, but not tired enough to go passively. I looked up to him.

"She wanted Italian, I wanted Indian. She overreacted a bit by taking the wheel but I think we can let her off with a warning."

I noticed the ambulance and the fire truck. It precipitously dawned on me that everyone had been there for quite some time watching us. I suddenly became cognizant of all the car lights and sirens. Freaks. Some people are so sick. Voyeurs, the whole lot of them…

The EMT's quickly ran up to us. I held her a little tighter. I'm an animal of instinct, leery of trusting new wolves with my lass.

"If you want to her to live, give her to them." Bats stated, standing over us…_still._

I took a moment to internally answer that question. I guess I let go of her enough for them to reach, because they did. And before I knew it I couldn't feel her anymore. I looked over and she was on a stretcher- already attached to tubes, equipment and such.

Batsy had taken me by the arm and pulled me up. I guess it hurt, I was a little preoccupied with the fact they were putting her in a separate ambulance.

"What are you doing? Go with her." I demanded, looking to Bats. But he didn't even flinch.

"She's going to the hospital."

"All the same, Bats."

"I'm getting you to Arkham." Bats threw me in his car and shut the door. He quickly got in the other side.

"I'm hurt too, you know."

"Not bad enough to threaten the lives of the people at the hospital."

"She needs one of us to be there. And I need professional attention as well."

"You'll be treated at Arkham."

"She's going to try and, she might die. Her death will be on you, my hands will be clean. It's your fault anyway she decided to crash the car."

Batman was silent. I wasn't as fond of him as I usually was. She was in such a state, and he wasn't doing a thing about it.

"As clean as a rape whistle, my hands" I stated. I didn't really like that joke. Not because it was in poor taste, I didn't care about that. It's just, it really wasn't a joke. I wasn't in the mood for joking.

…

Semantic satiation- I said her name over and over…and over. As I rocked in my little slice of heaven they call my cell. I said her name, over and over in efforts for it to lose its meaning. I practiced this night after night-day after day. I was a diligent soldier. I also figured it would freak them out a bit. They wouldn't know what to think of it- because I didn't need to do it, I wanted to. But mainly, I did it for myself. I wanted her to lose her importance, her meaning. If she lost her meaning, her clout- maybe I'd have the itch to hate her again. Where had that gone?

Semantic satiation, it doesn't work for me. People that say it works for them are lying.

If I had just gone with my original plan- invested in a fleet of dune-buggy's none of this would have ever happened. As I've said before- they're so much more durable than regular cars and trucks. If crashed, it doesn't matter a bit if you tumble and knock them around a few times. The drivers are safer as well- because they're made for crashing. It's only practical what with the amount of vehicles I go through. It's especially true when she who will not be named was around. Nope, it would have never happened.

I'm not going to say her name anymore. It gets me in a mood, a tizzy. She does this in spite of her absence. It's her fault that I start spiraling. Dwelling on the past is not conducive to my lifestyle. But I'll admit it's been quite a hurdle, an impediment. Damn Janie.

I killed six people the night I checked in. It wasn't much, but I did kill them all with a Blackberry. It was in Jeremiah Arkham's pocket. I snatched it as he was giving me my semi-annual update of how bulked up the security was in the prison. I needed to. I wasn't supposed to be there, so I used a blunt object to express such sentiment.

I mean, when I decide to go to Arkham, it's just that- at my will. I wasn't ready. I didn't have the taste for it.

On my first week, I got out of my cell. They still haven't learned. I'm not sure they ever will. I took a stroll to good ol' Frank Hines' office and opened the door.

"Who are you?" I lowered my brow. A man in his late 40's early 50's peered back at me. He was smoking a pipe in his office. I thought that was funny.

"Why aren't you in your cell?" He responded in a thick accent.

I kind of liked him. He wasn't afraid of me. I liked him even more when I saw his name. "_Hugo Strange?"_ I chuckled. "That name couldn't be any better if it were made up."

I was then greeted by three guards who escorted me back to a new cell. This time, they put me in a straitjacket.

I tried to practice some more- saying her name, so I could quit saying her name. But I'm a visual person. It was difficult, quite cumbersome saying her name without picturing her- picturing her naked, it's a long road ahead.

Days turned to weeks and weeks turned into spans of time I consciously decide to overlook. I'd been in there a while. They really had bulked up security. I was always being watched- by more than one person in fact. It was cute how they thought they had control of me. I was only staying because it was good detox. It was good for me to distance myself from my abusive relationship. Plus, I needed time for her to get well also- so I could kill her. Maybe we'd sleep together a few more times but this time I was going to kill her.

I needed to get Janie out of my mind. I needed a distraction. Lo and behold, the gods provided me with one. She did the trick.

3 months, 29 days, and 17 hours from being checked in, I broke into my new doc's office. Well, this one's new to Arkham. Her office wasn't even locked.

I did, however lock it when I got in. I'd been waiting for this for a long time and didn't much feel like being bothered. It was a quiet evening. The sun had just set. I looked out of the window and noticed that all the snow was gone. It was probably warm outside. They didn't exactly give me playground privilege, so how was I to know? I was still behaving as if it were winter. It was spring. I hated the spring. I picked up the phone. It's always 9 to dial out.

I knew her number. She wouldn't change it. She'd just buy a new phone and have it re-activated. She had been waiting for this day just as eagerly as I was. There was no way she wouldn't answer.

I waited impatiently as the phone rang. Riiing, riiing, riiing….

She didn't say anything, I couldn't hear her breathing, but she was there.

"I knew that you would answer."

I heard her let out a small sigh.

"What, you're not even going to say hi?"

"I had to pick up." She finally spoke.

I smiled. "Of course you did."

There was silent for a moment. She broke it. "Whose phone did you steal?"

I smiled. "It's actually an office phone, my new doctor's."

"How nice."

"It is nice; she's nice…not like you."

"Is that so?"

I tried to picture, her. I heard a faint whirring in the background. She was driving.

"Where are you going, Janie girl?" Shame on me, I said her name. Oh well, semantic satiation doesn't work.

"Not telling."

I propped my legs up on the desk. "No matter, you know I'll find you."

"No you won't."

"Is that a challenge?" I teased.

"No, it's a promise," She paused for a moment- I knew that pause. She was about to tell me something I didn't want to hear. "I've left Gotham."

That didn't sit very well in my chest. I shifted, suddenly super uncomfortable. Maybe it was this netted office chair. "You think you deserved a vacation?"

"Not a vacation." She corrected. "For good, I'm moving, moved… I had to leave."

"No you didn't. But I know how you like to decides things on your own."

"That's right. And I know how you like to convince me otherwise."

"It has become one of my favorite pastimes."

She was smiling, I could tell. "So, goodbye I guess."

I laughed. "Don't be so dramatic, Janie. It's not like I'm an inmate, I can leave."

"You can leave the hospital, but you can't leave Gotham." She proclaimed. "There's no way. It's your home. You can't survive in any other city. You thrive on its large size and anonymity. Anywhere else you'd be caught. It's your home."

"You sound awfully confident. You're just begging me to come,"

"Certainly not." Now I could hear her laugh. I'd always been frustrated when she laughed. That's because she only laughed when it was at my expense.

"Gotham is your home too, you know."

"It was, not anymore I guess."

"So what's the weather like where you are?"

"It's weather."

"You're not even going to give me a hint?"

"No, Joker."

"Oh, so you remember my name? You couldn't even send me a get well card? I sent you a card."

"You sent an Arkham pamphlet with a smiley face drawn in blood on the back of it."

"You say tomato, I say splattered blood."

She giggled in a sentimental fashion.

"You miss me,"

"It's better this way."

"Who told you that?"

"I told myself, with no help from anyone else."

"You're lying, Doll. Because if you hadn't had some kind of ally, you'd be in jail or here with me in Arkham by now- not free to go off to wherever it is you are."

She was silent.

"Did Batman help you?"

"None of that really matters," She finally decided to respond.

"You're right, Cherry. Because no matter what, you know I'll find you. I told you on that night- we weren't done. You don't get to decide that."

"We weren't good for each other."

"Are you kidding me? Who wants good? But you're right, we weren't good, we were magnanimous. Do you remember our…"

"I remember everything." She interjected.

"Good girl."

"You know I'll," She stopped herself from finishing. "It's fucked up, but you know how I feel."

"I'm missing that dirty mouth of yours, in more ways than one."

"Well, I wish you the best. It's weird saying something like that to you. But it's true. Too bad we don't live in a post-apocalyptic world. You'd be free to come and go as you please."

"The pre-apocalyptic world has never stopped me from doing that."

"That's right, I forgot."

"So, are you going to help me get out of here?"

"No,"

"Come on, Janie, it's dull. You've really left, huh?"

"I really have. And if you were anyone else, I'd express my, what I'm going through. My will isn't that strong. Still, I have trouble…"

"You don't want to leave me."

"No, no I didn't."

_Didn't. _She really had left already…I hated her. I needed to hurt her. "What if I meet someone else, Janie?"

"In efforts to wish you well, I think you should. But that doesn't seem,"

"I don't know. My doctor is cute, she's pretty squeaky but she's cute."

"Let me know how that works out," She spoke in sarcasm.

"No," I was getting angrier now. She was trying to be civil-trying to end things on a pleasant note. Also, she wasn't taking this seriously. She was trying to be light, which I hated. When have I ever been civil? She wasn't getting away with this.

"I will then. Because I can pursue it…I can tell she likes me. That is going to eat at you."

"I'm not going to answer that."

I grinned. Janie girl couldn't help to be honest when she could.

"It's like taking candy from a dead person. She's malleable and predictable. See, you had it all wrong. You're not one of those travel-trailer women that obsess over their guys in lock up. But she is. I can make her one of them. She'd get run over by a travel trailer for me…she will, mark my words."

"Well, that's just the type of girl you need…"

"I won't even have to use coaxing. She's senseless, she's already there."

"Well that must be nice for you."

"It's not, you're missing the point." I snapped.

"I'm trying to evade it. You're trying to hurt me. And I'm trying to tell you that it would have never worked,"

"Of course it would've. You were just too scared- you still are." Silence again… "Anyways, I just need someone to pass the time, until you come back. It's going to all be on you though- this girl, what I do to her. It will be all your fault."

"Look, you can't make me…I'm not coming back."

"Oh, you'll be back. This is the greatest city on earth. You can't stay gone. And I'll be waiting. Maybe it will be soon- maybe it will be when we're sixty. We can have hot, hip-breaking geriatric sex."

"Joker, I can't do this… I have to,"

"Must you be so selfish? You could at least say it…one more time."

"Say what?"

"You know, Janie."

She was silent for a moment. I could swear I heard her lips smack together several times as if she were starting to speak.

"Spit it out." I coaxed her.

"You're right," She started. "I love you, Joker. I do…despite what you think of that," She paused. "I'm not even sure you know what it means. But I do want you to know that I do love you."

"Don't insult me, I know what it means."

"I know." She responded. "Like I told you that night, I'm not sure if you deserve to hear it. But I want to give that to you nonetheless. You wanted it, now you know it. I'll never find,"

"You belong with me."

She exaggerated a scoff, in her usual stubborn fashion.

"Probably, but I guess we'll never know."

"You're not done with me, you'll be back."

I heard a small laugh "it's just a self-preservation thing. You understand?" and with that, she hung up.

…

The truth was, she was partially to blame for my delicate psychosis. Sure I'd done bad things before- very bad things. But as far as relationships go, she really screwed the pooch. I'm seeing this new chick- this therapist. She's infatuated with me. She's going to break me out in the next month or so. But somehow, I find myself wishing she would be hard- or at least a little bit harder like Janie.

If it were Janie, she'd leave me here to rot. Janie _had _done just that. She would, however, grin when I escaped as she watched the news from wherever she was. She'd plant those kisses on my scars like she did. We'd talk about everything under the sun- without getting bored. I'd smell that soap she used, instead of perfume. She'd calm me down, and we would sleep.

I guess I couldn't settle with the fact that she was gone. I'd done everything right, relationship wise. I'm still not completely convinced of it. But, a few days after the phone call, the rage had passed. In its place, I had emptiness- it sort of just spread throughout my person. It's like that feeling you get after gulping down a really cold drink. It runs down your chest and spreads. That's what was happening to me, but with my whole insides. I had no choice to channel it to rage and aggression. But it wasn't passionate. I was just, going through the motions. It was so tedious. I couldn't handle that type of gloom. Sure, this shrink was cute, she had bigger breasts than Janie did, but that didn't matter. It wasn't just her body it was her. Janie was my girl. And I was begrudgingly her guy. It was brief, but it was real. There aren't many things in this chaotic world that actually are, but she was.

I spend most of my time thinking about her still. I'll get over it. I practice semantic satiation in my cell. I don't bother rocking anymore. Because this isn't to put on a show- this is for me. I repeat her name over and over…Janie Janie Janie Janie Janie Janie…hoping it will lose its meaning- its clout in my mind and thoughts. But it doesn't work. I need a new psych book. I took some from my new docs office. But she always wants to give them to me and it takes the fun out of it. I sigh as I resign myself to my new, vulnerable, lesser woman. But I almost look forward to our sessions. That's because time alone with my thoughts isn't as fun anymore. But alas, here I am.

5 months, 14 days and 6 hours.

Someone opens the slot and slides the lunch tray in. I don't feel much like eating- but Janie always said that consistent meals were important. I'd have to say I agree with her. I always feel better when I get to eat all three. If I ever see her again, I'm going to kill her and carve her up in pieces. I'm going to use a knife. She forgot that she was a butcher. I could use them to find her, her co-workers. I could use some of her knives to threaten all of them.

I take a bite of my sandwich, it's turkey- quite boring. But whatever, food is food right?

Today to my surprise I got a bag of chips. I'll bet that was my doc's doing. She's been doing those little things for me in hopes that I notice- in hopes that I'll appreciate them. That's stupid because I've already decided to use her. I open the bag in reach in. But, instead of a ruffle, there is an object. I pull it out and study it carefully. It's green and small. I hadn't seen it in ages. It's a dull blade with a nice little inscription on it. I think- project myself immediately to the face of the last person that had it…this gift wasn't from Harleen.

Ha.

…


End file.
